Aesop Today 6ns71

Aesop Today

Adrian Ashe

AuthorHouse™ UK 1663 Liberty Drive Bloomington, IN 47403 USA www.authorhouse.co.uk Phone: 0800 047 8203 (Domestic TFN) +44 1908 723714 (International)

© 2019 Adrian Ashe. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/11/2019

ISBN: 978-1-7283-9643-9 (sc) ISBN: 978-1-7283-9642-2 (e)

Bhonae Tayali, Skansen, Stockholm, Sweden 2019

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Pricking Sleeping Lions The Brand Spanking New AI Dating App You’re Good. Very, Very, Good - But No Job Offer In Harsh Times, It Pays To Be Multiskilled Hug And 3 Taps Stranger’s Cathartic ‘Thank You’ Wave Smart, But Stupid You Have No One To Depend On Indomitable Snake’s Head Home Amongst The Genii Strange Dreams Death Is But A Never-Ending Dreamless Sleep Always Have A Plan B Somewhere On You Grudges You’ll Still Be Alive Tomorrow Be Fair

The Lizard And The Maskirovka Chameleon There’s Always A Solution Small Amount Of My Time Wasted Children Telling Parents To Shut Up Beautiful Lady Yawning Open-Mouthed That Loop Compete Against Yourself Cherubs And Such All Killer Monsters In Blockbusters Are Black Teenagers Handling Exes Titillation Parenting Put Yourself First Meeting Everyone At Their Level ESP Or Clairvoyance? Actually, It’s Quantum Entanglement Going Forward While Looking Backward Curious Case Of Nationality Smart People Are Lazy Schrodinger’s Cat Rules Be Open To The New

Say A Prayer For A Safe Return Home Criticise With One Side Of The Mouth, Praise With The Other Be A Zombie – Don’t Look At Anyone When Travelling The Big Chief Syndrome People Who Keep Saying Goodbye, But Don’t Leave Democracy Cultivate Your Inner Innovator Is Enough Not Enough To Real Friends What’s In A Name Angels Levels of Control Going In Circles Doing Things So Well That Nobody Notices Even T-Rex Had To Be Careful Who It Tangled With Not Everybody Is As Clever As You If Someone Doesn’t Like You for Real – Don’t Force It The Schumacher Principle You Don’t Get Traction Standing Still On Quicksand Aging Mike Tyson Moments

Sometimes You Have to Cut Off Something Dear To Survive Python Swallowing A Large Porcupine Syndrome Protect Your Progeny Crabs In A Barrel Seeing A Mature Bodybuilder Beating Up A Scrawny Boy Rules Of The House To Age 18 Generational Ideas Avoid Confrontation – There Are Too Many Hidden Equalisers Around Et Tu, Jay Z? The Flower In The Desert Great Teachers Stay With You Forever Scared Witless By The Ghosts Of Future Failure Fulfil Your Destiny, Have No Regrets Procrastination Consideration In Loneliness We Find Our True Friends Behaviour Incompatible With Principles Bad Memories Monkey Branching Easy To Teach A Monkey To Clean A Room, But Not Physics Nice Guys As Reformed Bad Boys

The Invisibles (Eye Exclusion) Bottom Of The Global Totem Pole The Mistake Men Make With Women Let’s Argue After We’ve Reached Our Mountaintop You Too Can Move Mountains Shady Exclusion No One Owes Me Anything, I Don’t Owe Anyone Anything Blowing Rings In Someone Else’s Smoke Materialistic Be Truthful To Yourself The Prometheus Conundrum - Brilliant Idea, Lousy Execution Someone Else’s Work Feeling Like A Ghost That Can’t Depart The Party The Wolf And The Lamb 21st Century Style Inner Beauty Transcends Bias The Prasad Paradox Trust Your Instincts Even The Fastest Car Has To Start From Zero Know Where You’ve Come From, Are At Now, Are Going The Echo Technique Warnings From A Dream

Mighty Dinosaurs, Puny Mammals The Power of The Brain Nurturing Inspiration Not Ready For The Exam Until After It’s Finished Siblings Kaposa’s Insanity Scenario Takes A Lot of Hubristic Stupidity To Achieve Even In Victory, Swindled True Victory Occurs Against An Equal, Not A Shackled, Opponent Churches Emptied The Answer You Know Already: Work Backwards Through The Solution Straight Line Through Winding Roads Python Bites Own Tail Win Small Everyday, Win Big Over the Years Wishing Into Reality Don’t Walk On By Heroes The Only Person To Compete Against Is Yourself For The Determined, Every Failure Is A Step To Success There Was Something There Before The Big Bang – The Big Void ‘Not In The Morning’ Rule

You Sit Exams Alone Never Listen To Anyone Telling You You Are Useless, Including Me Be Polite – It Costs You Nothing Time Accrues No Interest Growing Old Disgracefully As Old As He Was, Young As He Looked If You Can’t See The Bottom of The Pool, Don’t Jump In Inoculated Against Booze The Free Giver Last Wishes Absence Also Makes The Heart Grow Cold Dreaming Of Loader Buckets Reading Pulp Fiction The Day Before A Crucial Job Interview That Seductress Called Power You Can’t Fish In A Dry Pond Worry For A Parent What Comes After The Internet? Boundaries It Takes Just A Second To Die Happy Childhoods What Will Make Me Happy At The End Of Today?

Failure Is Ignoring The Signs Of Success Follow Your Gut Instinct Minority Of The Minorities? No Matter What, Keep Your Core Values Intact The Vicious Neighbourhood Dog Waiting For The Right Opportunity To Amble By Seven Ages Of Man The Pain of Good Deeds Stopping To Let A Tailgater Blood Or Not, If You’re Wrong - Don’t Count On Me Clever Tots If You Let It - Yes, The Internet Will Dumb You Down Car Chase Choppers Your Money Is Ours, Mine Is Mine Inculcating Charisma When You See Rain Clouds Approaching – Seek Shelter Make The Effort Where There’s ion, Burdens Lighten Keeping Private Secrets Smile Lights Up His Universe Insults Are The First Resort Of Fools

Know Your Moment Things Left Unsaid Advice Is Free What’s A Friend? Don’t Pull Your Punches Leadership Talking About Delivery Dates A Fool And His Senses Are Like Drunken Lovers Respect Yourself First, And The World Will Too Grandstanding If They Are Vulnerable, Teach, Teach, And Teach Them Again Endlessly You Don’t Owe Us Anything – But Gratitude Would be Nice The Empath In Her When Modesty Don’t Count For Jack Success Is Intelligent Sustained Effort Let It Go – Just Get Home Safely After The Foundation Is Gone When You Are Weakest Externally, Be Strongest Internally Chimoto’s Equation of Opportunity Questioning Genuine Love Antlion’s Strategy

Punished With The Herd Forgiving The Fulcrum Of Peace Anywhere Is Fairness Treating You As An Object Creativity Has Its Blues Choices Safe Shortcuts Alone Does Not Mean Isolated News Askew Reward Yourself For Achieving It’s Not Me Actually, It’s You ire. Worship. But Don’t Blindly Follow The Good Friend Don’t Field A Mule In A Thoroughbred Horse Race Think For The Other Person Limitless Energy

Aesop Today

(a.k.a. The Equations of Life)

-

a TAYAL! take

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To my Dad, Mr Edward Nkole Tayali - the best story teller a son ever had, and who planted so many stories in my head.

To Bhonae Tayali and Tuki Tayali who made this book possible: love always.

In Memoriam : To my eldest brothers Henry Tayali and Bright Tayali with belated thanks – giants gone, but never forgotten. Especially to Henry, who at the specific request of our prescient Mother just before

her death, looked after and out for me right up to my wedding day.

With thanks and appreciation also to Mrs Josephine Osborne for her editing of the manuscript and stimulating conversations.

Pricking Sleeping Lions

It was a hot day on the Serengeti plains of East Africa. The earth was parched, the grass brown, and last year’s rainy season was but a distant memory to the ruminants. The lone male lion spotted sleeping under an acacia tree was probably dreaming of past exploits chasing pesky hyenas for sport. Occasionally his tail would flick, as cats’ tails do - and that’s how he was spotted in the vast expanse of brown. The athletic looking tourist on the tour bus claimed to be an 8th Dan martial arts expert who prided himself as having the quickest reflexes of any animal on earth (emphasis on animal – and that included the mantis shrimp, current holder of the fastest strikes in the world, bar none). To demonstrate just how fast he was, he figured he would be able to sneak up on the sleeping feline, poke him with a sharp pencil, and then leap back onto the tour bus before the lion realised what had pricked his rump. ‘Don’t do it, boss’, the wise African tour bus driver implored, eyes wide with trepidation. ‘It’ll kill you,’ opined another enger. All to no avail. So, with the whole bus holding their breath, he quietly snuck up on the rear of the animal – pencil extended. The tail triple flicked. He froze. A bead of sweat trickled down the driver’s face. Seconds ed.

The lion’s tail was motionless. Prick……. ‘ROARRRR!’ As the martial arts expert started to pull back, a giant paw – claws extended – caught up with his withdrawing face. The immutable Laws of Physics and momentum being what they are, his face – and life – was obliterated.

Takeaway Don’t go poking or pricking wild sleeping lions – or dogs, or people associated with still water – when they are minding their own business.

Commentary If you do have to, at least use a barge pole.

The Brand Spanking New AI Dating App

Oscar was very excited. He had invented a new dating app that used Artificial Intelligence to really match you up with your best date to an astonishingly high level of accuracy not previously seen in any dating apps out there. The chances of hitting it off, and proceeding to form a permanent relationship using his new App were better than 98.3% no less, he claimed to his colleagues with a flourish. ‘There’s more,’ he told them. ‘On your screen, The App will immediately show you standing next to each other in representational form just so you know what you both look like side by side. There will also be very, very, secure links to both your DNA results, and The App will even give you a sequence of how your children – if you want any – would look if you produced them together: colour of eyes, skin, hair etc.. ‘The cute thing is that The App will also auto generate virtual reality video clips of the two of you engaged in any activities that you choose from a menu: for example, hiking in the Lake District in England or in Yellowstone National Park, and visiting the Taj Mahal together. The menu of activities will be diverse, and the images real, fed in from Google Maps, covering anywhere on earth! ‘All heavily qualified with the fact that these would be just statistical projections based on data fed in, and would not come with 100% certainty. But they would be based on genetic fact. ‘To top it all off, we’d include a time lapse slide show depicting how you would both age together in a year, two years, five years, ten years, and on at five yearly intervals. Or any interval you chose.’ ‘Sounds fantastic!’ the company owner said. ‘It’ll blow all the competition out of

the water! We’ll charge a hefty for this!’ ‘Absolutely. My suggested marketing plan is that we target the super rich first for the bells and whistles version. Afterwards, we’ll sell a cheap and cheerful version to the other segments,’ Oscar finished off. ‘Brilliant, Oscar, brilliant! Bravo!’ said the owner, clapping furiously as he turned to leave. ‘We’ll call it Hera. I want absolutely thorough beta testing. And we launch in nine months!’

Takeaway Letting your mind freely wonder to dream fosters creativity.

Commentary Now, how do you get on to these Dragon’s Den shows to get investor backing?

You’re Good. Very, Very, Good - But No Job Offer

The other year, a man was applying for jobs – as you do when you’re out of work, and permanent social security is not an attractive option for a proud man or woman. He saw an advert for a senior manager’s position with a company from North America somewhere in multicultural London, near Sherlock Holmes’ alleged old haunts. He did all the usual stuff – he went on the internet, did a ton of research and then applied, dreaming of business trips to the States as part of this job. This would have been his one hundred and fiftieth application in two months – but a determined applicant had to keep going despite the ninety-nine percent of applications disappearing into a black hole. Imagine his joy a few days, and forty-one applications later, when he received an e-mail telling him that he had an interview the following Thursday at 02:00 pm. He duly went into interview mode: researched the journey, times, prepared the clothing, researched the company some more etc., etc.. On the day, the interview was shorter than he expected, but the main list could obviously see that he knew his stuff, and so the man left, feeling very positive. A few days later, he got a phone call. ‘You did extremely well in the interview…..’ His heart lifted, he started thinking how much he would negotiate for, salary wise. ‘….. however, you were so good, and all of the other candidates were so poor compared to you, that we have decided not to give you the job, but to re-

it so that we can get candidates who are more closely matched to you.’ Professional as always, he said, ‘Thank you for letting me know.’ He never bothered finding out what the ‘next steps’ were.

Takeaway If they don’t like you – for example, maybe you spent too much time in the sun it’s hasta la vista, and don’t be calling us again.

Commentary Sue, but you’ll have a hard time proving it.

In Harsh Times, It Pays To Be Multiskilled

The animals in Big Valley were suffering. There had been a drought that had now lasted the better part of the year. Assorted emaciated animals trooped in to their quarterly meeting slowly putting one hoof in front of the other, all the worse for wear. Except the Crocs and the Baboons. The Crocs everybody knew about, and they were also the part-time environmentally friendly undertakers. The Baboons on the other hand all looked very well fed indeed considering. They all discussed the shift work to dig the wells deeper, and drew straws as to who would report for digging duty, when and where. Throughout the meeting, Bull Elephant kept cocking his eye at the Baboons, and ever so slightly nodding his head when they caught his eye. Finally, at the end of the meeting, he couldn’t contain himself. ‘So, Baboons,’ he started. ‘How come you’re all so fat and sleek with such well groomed and shiny fur – and not a mangy rib in sight in all your troop!’ All the other animals turned to look. ‘Pray tell,’ continued Bull Elephant, ‘how have you managed this miracle in the midst of all this famine?’ ‘Well, it’s like this,’ the Queen Baboon started excitedly. ‘It’s because we eat anything. We eat grass, tubers, leaves, meat, bulbs…. We also eat grubs, and if we’re lucky polish off all our meals with the in-season Marula tree fruit when its overripe. Oohhh….!’

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she ed picking up the overripe yellowish Marula fruit from under the tree. Then staggering about and falling over after consuming quite a few of the fermenting fruit. Most of the other animals could only eat grass, or meat. Not many could eat either, and still feed well. Bull Elephant looked at her and the troop, then turned and then left without saying a word. He ed the first thing that he saw when he last swung by to get a bit high on the Marula fruit himself, were those pesky baboons falling about all over the place - and very drunk. Because there had been so many of them, there had been virtually nothing left for him to enjoy. That had upset him no end.

Takeaway If times are hard, you’re better off having a varied skill set that could be applied across many sectors.

Commentary Having many strings to your bow increases the opportunities available to you, and also enhances your negotiating position in normal times.

Hug And 3 Taps

It was the curious observation that the lads made together over several months of watching movies, and people in general. They noticed that whenever people from all over the world hugged each other there was a certain number of taps each made on the others’ back. Invariably they noticed that most men and women made three taps with the open hand - usually the right hand – on the back. They postulated that since this seemed to be common across different cultures, then it must be rooted in modern humans’ common ancestors going back near Botswana’s Lake Makgadikgadi. The lads were tempted to correlate their observation to the relationship between men and women, and how they could usefully tell if a woman hugging a man displayed clues that could help them decipher whether or not the end result would be the friend zone or ission into the inner sanctum. All this just from observing how a woman hugs a man. Amongst the friends, some were quicker off the mark than others, and worked out that when a man hugs a girl, if she gave him three taps on the back – then he was in the friend zone for sure. But, if she kept the flat of her hand still on his back, then he was in the Goldilocks Zone of Love. However, this theory went up in flames when their friend Carlos met up with his ex-girlfriend at some function. They had had a very acrimonious split because he had cheated on her. But when they met at the party, she hugged him full on, and held on to him a bit tightly in greeting.

She then proceeded to make sure to be on the opposite side of the room from where he was for the rest of the evening

Takeaway Signals in body language are to be used as a guide, not taken for certainty.

Commentary Don’t take the three tap rule as a guaranteed bellwether for or against in love.

Stranger’s Cathartic ‘Thank You’ Wave

Random acts of kindness, and acknowledgement of the same, do wonders for one’s morale. There were several times when Niko was driving down the motorway, or crawling along in a traffic jam in the city, and saw a biker coming through traffic. He’d move over as far as he could so that the biker could safely. He always thought to do his bit making it easy for himself and other road s so that all could return home safely to their families (or pets) at the end of the day. It was always gratifying to see that the majority of bikers would stick out a foot or give a wave of the hand in acknowledgment. His thinking was that one shouldn’t mind going out of one’s way to help other people, and not expect anything in return – except maybe a simple thank you. It was the ungrateful ones who took, and did not acknowledge, the kind deed that drove ordinary mortals crazy. But Niko always believed that you had to learn that even if they didn’t say thank you, it shouldn’t change any of your behaviour in the moment and therefore their actions should not have any effect. When people acknowledged each other’s consideration it kind of made it feel like the world was going to be all right. That, maybe, there were enough people who respected each other out there to make sure that in the end kindness and good sense prevailed.

Takeaway

It won’t cost you anything to say thank you, but it will certainly make the person showing you consideration feel that they did the right thing, and it will reinforce civil and feel-good behaviour.

Commentary It may not always be altruistic, but one kind gesture deserves to be ed on.

Smart, But Stupid

John was telling his friends the story of the hunter – one Robert Muldoon – in Steve Spielberg’s film Jurassic Park who went after the escaped Velociraptors with his big, bad, gun. One could speculate that he had probably got the job because of his fearless big game hunting skills, honed on the African savannah. There he was thinking he was clever, and smarter than them Velociraptor dinosaurs that were on the loose. So, he went toe-to-toe (or toe-to-claw in this case) with them. From examining the film, John said that it appeared that the hunter thought he had skilfully cornered one of the pesky dinosaurs, and was getting ready to send this particular one to meet its dinosaur god. That’s when he looked to his left, and straight into the unblinking eye of another one of the beasts. In concentrating on the one in front of him, he’d been patiently and silently outsmarted by the raptors that were obviously working together. In that moment, he probably realised he had been smart, yes, but he also had been dead stupid (no pun intended). The raptors had done a kind of Kansas City Shuffle on him. John thought that the hunter reminded him that oftentimes those who believe that they are very smart suffer from debilitating hubris. Hubris, he said, should never be allowed to be a runaway locomotive in one’s life. There should always be a governor in the engine to limit the excesses that hubris might encourage.

Takeaway If you’re smart, a dash of humility won’t hurt.

Commentary A little reading up on the Dunning-Kruger Effect won’t hurt either.

You Have No One To Depend On

Making assumptions based on the concept of love is a dangerous thing. The mind wonders along its fanciful path thinking that because someone is close to you, you have a safety net below you. The unwary think they can do risky triple somersaults on the high wire of life with no consequence to life or limb, because there is that safety net that they have woven magically into their heads. Unfortunately, life’s full of the unexpected. What you think is a common understanding of someone having your back based on years of closeness may turn out to be as ephemeral as the morning mist above a stream in summer - gone in a few seconds as the sun rises. And so, as problems arise, the safety net you thought you had is knocked out of your head pretty pronto. You are left feeling like Roadrunner’s Wily E. Coyote in mid-air with no solid contraption to help soften the imminent drop, and death of life as you know it. Doleful eyes won’t help either because you face a solid wall of granite resistance to any of your entreaties to put that safety net back in place. And down the pan you go. The great guitarist Carlos Santana and his band said it best in the song: No One to Depend On. ‘No tengo a nadie’ is a sad refrain to hear in the music of one’s life.

Takeaway

Assuming certainty in anything to do with expecting help from others when your back’s against the wall comes under the heading of ‘Insurance that the Great Unwary take out on themselves.’

Commentary The best person in the world to depend on is…… yourself. Anything or anybody else is to be viewed with reservation, unless notarised by a reputable attorney with public liability insurance, or genuine blood connections.

Indomitable

You have to have ice cold blood in your veins when your back is against the wall. If you have confidence in your skills and strength of purpose, you have to believe that this dark day too will come to , because you will still be breathing the next day. Still be alive. However, you always need to make sure that you don’t get to this point where you’re out on a limb, and the Grizzly bear is sitting at the root of the branch you’re on, arms crossed, waiting for you to make your move. So, always make sure you stay close to the main trunk – that is, you should always know what will keep you safe, know what your alternatives are, and what and will keep a roof over your head. It stands to reason therefore that one must always keep sighted on what the key priorities in one’s grand plan are. Being distracted and lured onto the thin branches that will snap under your enthusiastic weight is to be avoided. Your strategy is to climb the tree of life until you reach the top, and you are safe from being hustled, and you can retire from the constant climbing because there is nowhere else to go. Finally then, you too can bask in the sunshine up in the canopy – and exchange pleasantries with similarly minded folks on other trees. So, anything that does not get you to the top of the tree – and sideways growing branches won’t – should be avoided.

Takeaway It’s a race to the top – unless you were born with a platinum spoon in your mouth. Therefore, secure your aims before indulging in non-priority antics.

Commentary There’s always one born every minute, and they make the tree-top climbers rich.

Snake’s Head

Years ago, Charlie dreamt of his ex-partner handing him the head of a freshly killed decapitated Black Mamba snake. Even in his dream, he knew that the dead head was as dangerous as when it was alive. Those jaws could snap shut, and the needle like fangs would be the death of him. Instantly. But what did the dream mean? For years the meaning baffled him. Trawling the internet gave various interpretations as to what the dream meant – such as transcendence, a phallic symbol (naturally), growth and renewal, fear, repressed desire, knowledge and wisdom. One thing he imagined was that it was a warning that she would one day do something horrible to him – like a camouflaged venomous snake strikes you without warning. From then on, whenever he was around her, he was always wary and tried to ensure that he was never close to her by himself. In his mind, Charlie thought that that revenge from his ex, for whatever perceived injustices, was not actually going to be done by her. He felt she’d do it by proxy and it was actually going to be done by somebody he would never suspect. Like a close relative, or friend of his ex. So he carried on being ultra-careful, and never dropped his guard in her presence.

Takeaway When you face a cunning enemy, never fixate on one direction expecting that to be where the enemy will strike from for sure. If you are ‘at war’, the whole space around you should be your battleground, and you should be prepared for an attack from anywhere.

Commentary To avoid being someone else’s lunch, or an avoidable victim, observe all round you, and if you can, develop or use fish eyes.

Home Amongst The Genii

There was once a girl whose majority ancestry could be traced back to Africa. In her teens, she went to India, a country with some of the most brilliant and numerous brains on earth, and could boast some of the best mathematicians ever to have lived - and the inventor of the digit zero no less. In all her major final exams, she bested the entire country and was placed first. However, back in England, she went to Cambridge -one of the top universities in the land - and introspection begun to eat away at her. She had been to the mountain-top before anyone else, and knew that she was truly gifted. But was she gifted in the art of blindly reciting and regurgitating for the scripted examination, or was she a true genius? Lost, she was in danger of sinking into anonymity - failing because she couldn’t believe in her own intelligence. Doubting deeply, she turned to a close friend and asked him if she was just an excellent swot or more than that. He advised that she set herself free from self-criticism. That if you had it, why should you not flaunt it? There was no need to hide one’s light under a bushel, and crucially if she didn’t achieve the best she could whilst still young and able – when would she? There is a biological statute of limitations on everything organic: death. So he told her that while she was able to, she should go out there and be herself and dazzle the world.

Takeaway Accept yourself for what you are, and move forward. Questioning who you are won’t help – you’ve already been born: work with what you have, change what you can, move past what you can’t.

Commentary A genius’ eternal cross to bear is trying to live as a normal person whilst clearly not.

Strange Dreams

Larry had this weird dream the other day. In the dream, the USA did not have a defence budget of around $750 billion per year any more. It’s national public debt of more than $23 trillion – roughly $70,000 owed by every US citizen or nearly $190,000 per taxpayer – had disappeared. Instead it now had a $650 billion budget for the creation of anti-warming carbon dioxide scrubber technology on a massive global scale. Only $50 billion now went into traditional defence spending, and the USA only had 8 overseas bases left out of 800 or so in 160 countries that it had previously had. With $650 billion per year going into saving the planet for all, the USA was the toast of all of humanity, present and future. Not to mention the homeless denizens of Skid Row in San Francisco, Seattle and Los Angeles and all across the USA who now had homes. Poop alert apps were not needed anymore. Even as he was having his dream as a tourist leisurely driving down Route 66 in his open-top Mustang, he saw a high-speed train flashing past on its way to Los Angeles from New York on the nation’s refurbished infrastructure. That money had also finally made a reality artificial chlorophyll, and now the Sahara, Kalahari, Namib, Gobi, Atacama, Sonora deserts were all green seas of artificial forests producing food and sugars on an unimaginable scale for all of mankind. At the descent zones at the tropics and the higher latitudes, strategically placed scrubbers worked 24/7/365 to remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. Equally strategically placed underwater systems in the oceans did the same.

With this magnificent and magnanimous show of altruism from the USA, and global cooperation amongst all of humanity, after ten years of non-stop work, global temperatures were stabilised and started to fall back again. It was one giant stride for the USA, and one giant save for Planet Earth. Unfortunately, Larry woke up to the auto-tuned TV and some talk show host giving an analysis of the life of a celebrity famous for selling - and then denying - the existence of her sex tape.

Takeaway Question - what prize are your eyes on?

Commentary Didn’t the Romans a law saying that it was criminal to fiddle while Rome burned?

Death Is But A Never-Ending Dreamless Sleep

Death has been the inspiration of religions across the world, across millennia, since human times immemorial. Underlying most of these religions is the core message that ashes will return to ashes, and dust to dust – and that when you step across that threshold between life and death, you enter a heavenly paradise. After death, we are told, heaven promises you freedom from pain, poverty, and ill health: all your troubles abruptly cease in both this and the afterlife. On the other hand, what of sentient beings like dolphins, whales and chimpanzees? And maybe too the humble pig - clever porky and sometime (allegedly) plaything of erstwhile Prime Ministers. Does it too have a claim to a seat at the high table of Eternal Life? Are they any less likely to have their own nirvana after death? Come to think of it, why is it that religions talk of the afterlife where only humans are present? Once one es the Pearly Gates, it would be nice to hear the song of birds trilling away in the bushes in heaven as one strolled by in a place where time stretches to infinity. Is the richness of this Earth, and its myriad forms of life, only to be enjoyed by humans on this Blue Marble, but not in the after-life? What of that errant child, and frequent irritant of religion, Science, and its impish statements that perhaps as a matter of fact plants can actually feel and communicate with each other?

What are we to make of all this? One is inclined to conclude that we’re all interconnected, even without watching the end scenes in Avatar. Ultimately though, it may all boil down to a simple explanation - that when we on, it is into a permanent dreamless sleep about which our dear souls have no clue.

Takeaway Always make your peace with those you love whenever you can because you can become é in an instant, and never know it – thinking that you’ll only grab a few minutes sleep…… ………which turns into eternity.

Commentary Some believe that there was likely some snake oil salesmen who did a superb sales job on some parts of humanity, and sold them religious non-refundable dreams that have no proof of second comings (allegedly).

Always Have A Plan B Somewhere On You

Often in life we get hit by the sudden appearance of curve balls, milliseconds before they make with our faces. It’s all about how you react to what comes at you. This is reminiscent of that scene in Ridley Scott’s Gladiator, where Maximus exhorts his disparate gaggle of condemned gladiators to ‘Hold! Hold!’ in order to survive the imminent onslaught. It’s a salutary example of having a Plan B in your back pocket – in his case from years of campaigning as a Roman General no doubt. Folklore also gives us some pertinent examples – for example, the classic Hare versus Tortoise race. When the hare left the tortoise in his dust at the start of the race, good old Tortoi had a fall-back plan in his shell already. And that was to not give up until he’d crossed the finishing line. (Maybe Plan A had been to bite the hare’s tail off….) The fact that the hare was so overconfident he decided to take a nap should be required reading for those who celebrate too early. The internet is awash with interesting and hilarious examples of this.

Takeaway When in a dire emergency, no one will give you time to go away and devise a cunning plan, and wait for you to come back as the hero who saves all.

Commentary Planning is everything. Visualisation of your plan, and all its details, gives you a holographic view of your post-success world, enabling you to frequently succeed on auto-pilot.

Grudges

We were brought up on stories from the Bible of having to turn the other cheek if somebody did something unpleasant to us. Over time, you begin to realise that sometimes it is better to prevent the other cheek from being slapped as well. Some people might just blow on your cheek, others slap you gently, and yet others may strike you with the force as powerful as a kick from a wild horse’s hoof. Once bitten is twice shy, and prevention being the better part of curing, some will decide that it’s better to that the next time. Some hold that it’s best to avoid being struck in the first place, and the best way is to make sure that no one gets near enough to do damage of any sort. This is because the one thing that the Bible does not talk about in of turning the other cheek is if you are not an all-round good guy. Perhaps because unless you are one of those ‘Yes I know you face slapped me, but I’m on the moral high ground’ then for a normal mortal that slap may leave some psychological detritus, to the victim’s detriment. Hence it is better to bear a grudge against those people or persons. This so that at least you’re very well-informed and ready next time you cross paths.

Takeaway Always look at the cost-benefit analysis of turning the other cheek. This is assuming that you have done no wrong, have not cuckolded a husband -

or some such.

Commentary Bearing a grudge is sometimes good for your own well-being. You don’t want to hear the words, ‘What, you fell for that again?’

You’ll Still Be Alive Tomorrow

When Nitin’s kids were growing up, there were numerous incidences of panic when they thought that their worlds were caving in, or the sky falling on top of their heads à la Asterix et al. The piece of advice that he always used to give them when they thought that the world was ending, and that they had nowhere else to go, and that really this was it for them was: ‘Don’t worry about it, you’ll still be alive tomorrow.’ This was based on decades of life, finding himself – to his shock – that the following day he was still the same person who’d had that disaster the day before. Being alive post the storm was a chance to recover. Always. Obviously in the heat of the moment, and the stress of it all, we tend not to think in a rationale and advantageous way – unless we train ourselves, or gain the experience. The significance of this approach is that it gives the brain a chance to subconsciously come up with alternatives that, after some refreshing sleep, you are able to consider in a rational way. In these situations, things do appear manageable and therefore one becomes more motivated to sort the problem out with a positive mindset.

Takeaway When something hits us unexpectedly, sometimes it is best not to rush to judgement.

Commentary Sometimes, things sort themselves out, and it all comes out in the wash in a positive way. So don’t kill yourself (metaphorically speaking) for nothing.

Be Fair

One of the lessons that the local Pastor preached was always to be fair to people around you. In a family, to never love one more than the other, or give one more than the other. This philosophy was imbued in Webster as when he was young he used to sit with his mother dutifully in the front pew, listening to the pastor preach. Hence when Webster was at work, he treated everyone that he came across equally, from the cleaning lady to the chief executive of the organisation. He could also value the fact that each was human and behind those eyes - be they brown, green, blue, and any shades in between - one could bet that there was always a 50-50 chance that there was a tale of woe or a tale of elation, or boredom. He’d tell colleagues and anybody else who would listen that it never hurt to be fair to people around you. He’d give the example of a couple courting and how the prospective partner will be watching how you treat others, because after the glow of the romance dies down, there will come out the real person - who may not be what you were expecting.

Takeaway It doesn’t cost a lot to be fair to people around you, and you will get out of it a sense of being at peace with the world, and inspire others.

Commentary This is one way to continuously hold the moral high ground wherever you are, and whatever situation you find yourself in.

The Lizard And The Maskirovka Chameleon

The chameleon and the lizard were basking in the sun on their favourite rock in front of the short leafy tree that was their house in Big Valley. ‘We’ll always be brothers under the skin,’ the chameleon said. ‘Indeed, it’s such an honour to call you brother,’ the lizard replied. This was their usual greeting routine each morning. They carried on warming themselves on the grey rock for some time, the lizard with it’s shiny light brown scales shimmering when he moved. Suddenly, before they could react a hawk swooped on them. In that instant, the chameleon turned as grey as the rock and became invisible to the bird, leaving the brightly coloured lizard the only meal on the table for the hawk. Swiftly and without hesitation, the hawk snatched up the lizard and was aloft in the blink of an eye. ‘Woe betide me,’ the lizard lamented, as he was about to be eaten. ‘I should have known not to be friends with someone with special Maskirovka powers he couldn’t share, and I could only dream of.’

Takeaway Do not rely on friends that can only help themselves - and only themselves - in times of trouble.

Commentary Buddies, yes – but at the end of the day it boils down to every man or woman for themselves, and Zeus for us all. Therefore, know what you can and cannot do to help yourself when trials and tribulations are visited upon you.

There’s Always A Solution

Three weeks after moving in, Rajinder’s downstairs neighbour came up to his flat with another neighbour in tow. She informed him - in a very friendly voice - that there was a leak from his flat that was affecting her electrics in the kitchen downstairs. Rajinder’s immediate reaction was to invite her and her companion into his flat and they followed him as he rushed to the kitchen. He immediately stopped the washing machine cycle, reaching behind the machine until he discovered that there was indeed a leak between the hose and the main water pipe. He immediately confessed that it was his fault. The lady was quite friendly with all of this, but then Rajinder realised that he also had to actually go and get video and photographic evidence from her kitchen downstairs. Just in case. He was filled with angst, and spent the next two weeks imagining how many hundreds of pounds he’d have to pay to repair the damage. He was obviously very much concerned, but in the end after some email exchanges, her buildings insurance company wrote to him and effectively said as he had been the one who installed the washing machine, there was no need for him to do anything and they would cover the cost of repairs. Rajinder would only have to pay the nominal £100 excess. In addition, whilst he was going through his old bank papers, he realised that he also had household insurance through his bank . So either way, he need not have worried as he was covered.

Takeaway Sometimes we need to take a step back and be calm about the situation. This gives us time to really examine what the options are, and more importantly, what the different possibilities are for the solution.

Commentary Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Often, we make the problem worse for ourselves by tripping over the tiny molehill of a problem because we were too much in a panic, not looking where we were going.

Small Amount Of My Time Wasted

There was a time in Kerry’s life when she would come home from work and promptly plonk onto the inviting sofa, turn on the telly and mindlessly watch whatever took her fancy on television. One day, she realised that she was spending quite an inordinate amount of time on her side or back watching somebody else’s work of genius - or trash as the case would be. She thought to herself: ‘Why am I sitting here watching all this TV, most of which - say 80% of it - I don’t enjoy anyway? This is just like filling time between me coming home from work in the evening, falling asleep, and getting up in the morning to go to work.’ She realised that if she put all those hours together when she was watching telly, they would probably add up to several weeks of solid TV watching every year. That’s when she woke up and thought, ‘You know what, it’s better to do something positive for myself: like using my brain to produce some artistic pieces of work. Maybe poetry, or writing a blog - something that in twenty years’ time I’ll look back on and say, ‘I really spent my time productively, and enjoyed myself.’ I could probably hold up the published book - a book of songs or a seminal piece of work which is then referred to or indexed by the great and the good.’ From that night onwards, Kerry spent at least a couple of hours each day doing something she loved – rarely did she ever vegetate again in front of the telly.

Takeaway Visual media is great and addictive. However, unless you want to just vegetate, all that you’re doing is consuming

somebody else’s output, and not fulfilling your potential.

Commentary Carlo Ponzi would be very proud of this kind of lifestyle, because what it comes down to is a time-based Ponzi scheme. The bottom line is - you never get that time back: it’s gone forever.

Children Telling Parents To Shut Up

A few years ago, Chimoto’s son came back from school in a state of shock. Poor him, he had been brought up on a strict set of rules that stipulated that you never disrespected your parents. Since he was a toddler, Chimoto had been steadily ing on to him what had been doled out to him by his own dear old Dad - as you do in these generational things. It meant that if you dissed your parents, there likely would be serious consequences of the uncomfortable kind. It’s just the way it was - you just accepted it. If you misbehaved, you were likely to get ten of the best with whatever instrument was readily available to hand. It did ensure that the offending child did not wish to have a repeat performance. Hence, in most cases, the medicine – painful as it was, and rarely applied – worked. So here was Chimoto’s son telling him that he had heard one of the children in his class tell his mother to, gasp, ‘Shut up !!!’ Quelle horreur! Chimoto had nearly choked on his Caesar salad. ‘He said what?’ he asked, incredulous. ‘He told his mother to shut up,’ his son explained, smiling. ‘Later, he came to me and said something about being able to say anything he liked because he could report his mother to ChildLine if she smacked him………’

‘Hmm,’ Chimoto had said, ‘That’s not very good.’ Chimoto looked at his son sideways, and the son looked back at him with a slowly fading smile. They understood each other. Warnings and consequences would be carried on in the decades’ old family tradition when the children dared to challenge the harmony of the house. Chimoto could feel his son thinking, ‘If I did that, I would be dead…’

Takeaway Children need direction - they are children after all. They need rules to prevent anarchy in the house, and to give parents some breathing space at home.

Commentary Parenting is not a democracy, and was never meant to be. No wannabe Sex Pistols going on about Anarchy here.

Beautiful Lady Yawning Open-Mouthed

There Bhupendra was sipping his Costa coffee in a shopping mall in one of the swanky areas of London. Then in walked this very beautiful woman, who ordered her coffee, and then shortly after proceeded to sit a few tables away from him. Minding his own business, busy scrolling down the list of Google News stories on his smartphone, he stopped to ire the beauty of her profile as she tossed her golden locks from side to side. A few minutes later, after digesting another online story, he looked up at her again. As he did so, she opened her mouth wide in a gargantuan yawn that almost had her tonsils hanging out. That killed his attraction stone dead, like he’d run into a brick wall. He wondered where in the world people thought that others were interested in their tonsils, their veneers, perfect teeth, gap teeth, crooked teeth, pierced tongues, or whatever else they had in there. ‘Use your hand to cover your mouth when you’re yawning,’ he felt like shouting across. This lady was dressed to the nines, but her manners were trashy. Manners maketh man (or woman), he seemed to recall from an English idiom. He thought someone ought to have taught her years before to keep what’s beyond her teeth private – unless she was rolling about with her partner in their private boudoir. The rest of us weren’t interested, he thought to himself, and did mind having to see the spectacle if it was unavoidable.

With a wry smile, he imagined that evolution had played a fantastic sleight of hand on humans, where they always anticipated the goods to be on an ivory tower of perfection, salivating at the mouth before even a word was uttered.

Takeaway Being uncouth is not the sole preserve of the plebians.

Commentary Public manners do really count. But then, they are human, and like Kings and Queens the world over they also need to go the washroom.

That Loop

Once upon a time in London, Ty was dating this beautiful woman. He thought she was the one, heaven-sent, his soul-mate till the end of days. Cue violins, et cetera, et cetera. All went well until a few months in when they were firmly ensconced as an item, he started noticing that she was planning their future. She started talking about how many bedrooms their house would have. She also started getting a wee bit personal with her comments directed at him in conversation – private and public. It made him uncomfortable and he kind of grumbled politely about it to her in private. As a man, he was trying to keep his utopian ideal of their relationship going – and what she was doing looked like the first faint greenish tinge of mould on his favourite cheese. Again, being a man, his logical course of action was to try and accommodate this development by pretending the cheese was still edible – it just needed to be washed under the tap, and hey presto, as good as new. However, her comments became even more cutting at his expense. This was when he thought he’d better speak up and point out that this was getting uncomfortable for him, and not what he’d signed up for. He obviously had missed some small print somewhere in the unwritten contract, which gave her licence to drill into his nerves without any anaesthetic. He advised her not to make the comments personal, just that they be directed generally. This worked for a short time, and then gradually it seemed as if making negative comments at his expense got her more ‘likes’ when there were other people

around. And she ramped them up again. Now there comes a time when even a cave dwelling, knuckle dragging man from Mars will say, ‘That cheese ain’t worth eating anymore.’ And so it came to that the cheese got thrown out with the garbage.

Takeaway The basic clarification of empathy is that you are not the only person with vulnerable feelings in this world.

Commentary It’s good to be cognisant of the effect you are having on people around you, and adjust your behaviour accordingly - unless you are a narcissistic person to start with (in which case, sorry, you should have skipped this story).

Compete Against Yourself

One thing that Barry learnt in life was that being envious of other people, and aspiring to be in their shoes, was a fool’s errand. This was because each person is born individually: they come into this world by themselves or in some cases together with another sibling or two or three or four or five or six or seven or eight. (He thought that eight was the maximum number of children he could a woman giving birth to in one go. Thank goodness this happened once every mime months for humans. Guinea pigs could breathe easy). When one goes through life looking inwards to better oneself, then that’s the best way forward because you know what you can achieve, you know what you can teach yourself to do. In addition, you know how you can motivate yourself by, for example, saying, ‘I will get better within myself and within my abilities such that next time that I go up against that other person that seems to be very successful, I will at least have achieved in some measure however small, certain advancement towards where they are.’ In the context of you competing against just yourself and incrementally improving yourself (and that is the key to this approach) if you work hard enough, you will eventually have reached such an improvement that you will probably be at the same level as that person you were envious of. Or have exceeded their achievements even. And that is the purpose of competing against yourself. Keep telling yourself that it is you that needs to step up to the plate; it is you that needs to make the effort; it is you that needs to put in the hard work. Thomas Edison famously said genius is 99% perspiration, 1% inspiration – this merely emphasises that hard work is the basis of success (substitute success for

genius here). Even bouts of dreaming intensely is part of that hard work.

Takeaway Know yourself first, and what you want, before you step out.

Commentary Keeping up with the Jones is fine – so long as you know where they are going, and how they are getting there, and you’ve got the legitimate resources to tag along.

Cherubs And Such

We all know about the teacher’s pet, a.k.a. The Cherub. It’s that innocent looking kid in class who revels in getting other kids in trouble with the teacher, whilst looking angelic. The Cherub can also be found at home – that sibling who fabricates stories so that the intended target can get into trouble and receive six of the best, or some other sanction. They can also occasionally be found in the workplace. These are the ones who will smile at you while behind your back they will go to your boss and make up any story, based on the thinnest of pretences, to get you in trouble or get you denied that promotion. Cherubs are found left, right and centre – for example, in the form of young ladies talking of babies being thrown out of incubators by the invading hoards from the desert to the north. The amazing thing in this day and age is that some people take what Cherubs say at face value. This leads one to speculate that dumbing down started way before GPS and smartphones.

Takeaway Cherubs are self-centred, and the universe revolves around their earth (they wish).

Commentary

They ain’t pretty.

All Killer Monsters In Blockbusters Are Black

A man was having an argument with his nephew one day. They were discussing what the greatest movie monster or baddie ever was. The man said, ‘Alien, the original’’ – he had always been impressed with those Moray eel style double jaws. His nephew said the monster in ‘Outlander’ was more scary. The man nodded his head, ‘That had kind of scared me too.’ He quickly asked, ‘Hang on - who let you see that film?’ His nephew looked down sheepishly. The man paused, then said ‘Godzilla’ in triumph, but the nephew said that was too tame ‘Teenage Werewolf in Paris?’ the nephew asked. ‘Nah – not that scary, and I think he had brown fur,’ was the response. ‘Darth Vader from Star Wars?’ the man said after a few seconds of thought. ‘Was he a monster?’ ‘He was dressed all in black, threatening. Now, take Henry Fonda all in black in that classic shootout at the end in Once Upon A Time in The West. Sergio Leone outdid himself with that one and, aww, Ennio Morricone’s musical score with that haunting harmonica was just on point..….’ ‘What?’ asked the nephew. ‘Forget it, let’s move on’, said the man, hurriedly.

His nephew might think Spaghetti Westerns were some food you ate at lunch. ‘How about Predator? The original was one mean and ugly MF!’ he said. ‘Terminator was mean too – I just saw Terminator Dark Fate and the Rev-9 Terminator..…’ ‘The octopussy thingies in Arrival,’ the man said. ‘I thought they were benign?’ said the nephew. He then paused deep in thought. ‘Wait a minute, Uncle – why are almost all monsters in films black?’ he asked. ‘Honestly, I have no clue,’ the man said, and paused. ‘Maybe black hides holes?’

Takeaway If you make your own films, you can even have purple monsters.

Commentary Those who have power in the entertainment industry have a pen at their disposal that can draw any subliminal message they wish to convey.

Teenagers

Teenagers undergo internal changes to their brains as they grow – akin to a butterfly chrysalis. Kind of changing from a caterpillar version of the human, into beautiful, well behaved adults. Biologically it is a scientific fact that hormonal changes afflict teenagers, and so one would almost feel sorry for one’s offspring as they try subconsciously to safely traverse the great Teenage Hormonal Barrier. In the meantime, parents have to put up with touchy moods and short tempers. Not to mention the sloppiness and untidiness. We all go through that stage – at varying degrees of agreeability to our parents. Some of us would sulk for days in our rooms, never once saying anything to our perplexed parents, who might have thought that they had done something wrong to us. The fortunate amongst us were relatively well behaved, and did not cause too much of a ruckus and or let our tempers go overboard. On reflection, looking at his son, Larry took the decision not to let his son’s temper tantrums trigger a backlash within him. He could see himself in his son, because he ed how he too had been with his own dad. His dad had given him a lot of leeway, and he never really got angry with him – no matter how surly he behaved. And so Larry took a leaf out of his dad’s book and made sure that when he dealt with his son, and daughters, he had the same non-confrontational approach. He made sure that they did not go to any extremes, but behaved in a way that did not cause either him or them any undue stress.

Takeaway There’s a lot more to teenagers than meets the eye as they navigate the roaring hormone storms.

Commentary Sometimes parents just need to step back and let the teenager cool off – much like removing the oxygen from fire.

Handling Exes

Barry ed an old Isaac Hayes cover song ‘You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’’ – originally penned by Spector, Mann and Weil for the Righteous Brothers. The opening line says, ‘You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.’ Ouch! Barry itted that it did happen to him once. In his particular case, he was dating this lady and after the first ever open-eyed kiss, it became evident that she was no longer into him. It was horrible, he said. Her love had left the building. He assumed that once the ion for him had fled, the eyes couldn’t close anymore because she just wasn’t feeling it, and the doves in her stomach had long since flown off to more exciting beaus. As a man, Barry just could not understand what he had done wrong, and so tried to cling on – but then she started uttering the dreaded words all men fear: ‘I love you, but I’m not in love with you.’ Translated to mean - I’m kicking you into the ‘Friend Zone’ (or is it ‘Standby Zone’?). Did women gossip about saying this to their men, he wondered – it seemed to be a de rigueur quote they had, just to twist the knife in the wound. His response was to say, ‘Well, OK. At the end of the day it’s what you want, and so be it.’

She invited him to be her friend, and he politely declined – instead suggesting she could go her way, he’d go his and then they would all be as happy as hippies on a ganja farm. Her response to this reasonable suggestion was to say breaking off all with her was his defence mechanism kicking in. And so the relationship eventually died - permanently.

Takeaway When you are breaking up with anyone, do what you have to do – but only with your own best interests at heart (even if it’s broken).

Commentary Don’t try to put the blame on the other person, if you are the one who has a hidden agenda. Those tasty descendants of non-avian dinosaurs, and who nowadays are star guests at much beloved summer fry-ups, will come a-clucking home to roost.

Titillation

Benny was reading an article the other day on the Internet. Whatever algorithm was used on the page, as soon as he started reading the news article, a picture of some half-naked so-called female celebrity appeared to the right of the story. Being a red-blooded male and all of that, he just could not resist taking a peek. Of course, you could see from the pictures that although she was in some distant island and splayed across some hot sandy beach, it was not by accident that the photographer who took the pictures happened to just walk by and notice her showcasing her assets - real or artificial - just at the right time. Benny had long ago lost count of the so-called celebrities who sprung up every so often like weeds in spring. They were a dime a dozen - as soon as one faded from sight, another one sprang up. In the good old days you knew what celebrities were famous for. Nowadays there were some that had genuine talent and should be respected for that. But 95% of them Benny had absolutely no clue about what they were famous for, apart from being seen exposing their privates coming out of taxis and getting resounding Internet likes in the comments columns, mostly from men. A little part of him in the dark, deep recesses of his reptilian brain would think of George Orwell’s 1994. And a little voice would question whether these constant images and articles featuring mostly nearly naked ladies in various skimpy bikinis – including the ubiquitous Mrs West with her interesting backside - were nothing but a false flag operation. But the Force of publicity was strong with that one. And Benny wondered what Mr West would be seeing in 20 years’ time when he cast his eyes over those assets once depreciation was applied to the s.

You see, Father Time has not yet lost a single battle with humankind in all of recorded history.

Takeaway Damn! Those marketing people smash their stuff – I know I am being manipulated, but I can’t help myself.

Commentary All in all, humans will be humans on both sides of the screen.

Parenting

If you are a parent, you will (hopefully) realise that that tiny bundle of joy, that new-born child that you have did not really have anything to do with them being born. In other words when they were joyfully (?) conceived they were not party to the proceedings, and therefore they had no choice in the matter. All people who believe in democracy, will realise therefore that the responsibility for how that child turns out in life is to the greatest extent the responsibility of the two (one gets confused easily these days – might it soon be three?) parents who brought that child into the world. So it is pertinent for the parents to have a mindset where it is their responsibility to ensure that - within their knowledge - the child successfully reaches a minimum level of safety on maturity. Knowledge is used here because whatever social status you are at as a parent, there is so much information out there that you can as a parent digest that information and give advice to your children as regards what you think they could aspire to. It is not good enough to leave them to their own devices, like feral cats in innercity squalor. It will be useful for parents to think here of the great American Apollo moon missions (yes, yes, yes - Room 237; the sound of hammers in a vacuum; interesting crosshair reticles etc. etc.). In this example, you have a huge rocket with a tiny capsule at the top. Imagine that capsule represents your child. The rest of the rocket is designed to get that child into orbit – their orbit. From there, they can reach for the stars – that is, go on to do whatever it is that they need to do to succeed in their life, if they so wish.

From an economic point of view, all that energy and construction needed to get that rocket ready to that tiny capsule into orbit represents what parents have to do to bring up their children, and try and make sure that they succeed and reach their orbit.

Takeaway If you have any moral com, parenting was never about ‘Birth and Go’.

Commentary It’s true what they say, whichever way you cut it, those few seconds of pleasure do entail having two or so decades of commitment afterwards to ensure the successful survival of your progeny.

Put Yourself First

Larry was having lunch with Koni, and was recounting the story of a friend of his with whom he had been at university out in the sticks several years before. Larry said that this man had been very close to his family, and in particular to one of his two brothers. It so happened that one day this friend’s favourite brother was in London, but it coincided with the time just after Larry’s friend had finished his final degree examinations after three years of hard slog. Unfortunately for Larry’s friend, he had been very ill about three days into the exams, and so he had not performed at his very best for the rest of the exams. The department knew that throughout the three years of the course, he had been performing at first-class level and was one of the top students. So they wrote to him asking him to come in for a discussion about his results because he was a borderline First Class honours or 2.1 Honours degree. The purpose was to discuss with him and judge which of these to award him. However, when the letter arrived at his digs asking for him to attend the meeting, he was not in the City at all but had gone off to London to be with his brother to help that brother out in the work that they were doing. So it was that because he was a no-show, he was given a 2.1 degree classification. However, as he was a pragmatic soul, Larry’s friend simply said, ‘Que Serra, Serra,’ and moved on with his life. When Larry finished recounting the story, he said that it was a pity that sometimes you put family first above everything else and in the long run disadvantage yourself.

Takeaway It’s all right to help family , and make sure that they do have the required amount of priority allocated to them. However, your own core priorities should not compromised.

Commentary Look after yourself first, and then if you’ve got any spare love, time, or money spread it around.

Meeting Everyone At Their Level

In Big Valley, the animals were having their annual meeting, which was always held in a cavernous cave because it was cooler. The bats were there as hosts, and everyone was there - the salamanders, the snakes, everyone. The meeting was going well, and then it came to suggestions about how to manage the water, as there seemed to be an imminent draught coming. A mild voice piped in from the gloom, and said, ‘We should make sure that our children don’t go without, and that the adults should always be last to drink at the end of each day.’ A deep and thunderous voice drawled, ‘That’s nonsense! I am the new King of the Lions, and I have ordered my pride to be first at the watering hole each and every time. If anyone gets in our way, they’ll have to deal with me!’ ‘But that will kill some of our children,’ a timid gazelle said softly. ‘Silence!’ roared the Lion. ‘There’s a new law in this valley, and I’m the judge and jury and enforcer!’ ‘Not so fast,’ the mild voice stepped in. ‘We all work together here as a community. You can’t just come in and destroy all of that for your own gain.’ The lion snarled and said, ‘Who do you think you are? If you don’t fall in line, you will be the first to feel the brute force in my claws and fangs!’ There was a minute or two of silence, and then there was bright flash outside, followed by a thunderclap. The whole of the inside of the cave was lit up, and everyone could see everyone else, and the rumbles of thunder echoed in the cave. It turned out that while they had gathered inside, the first clouds of the season had arrived, and it was set to rain.

In that instance, the Lion looked to his left, and saw a huge bull elephant – more than ten times his own weight - standing next to him. He had silently moved next to the lion just before the lightning. The elephant said, in the same mild voice, ‘You were saying….?’ The Lion was in wide-eyed shock, and could only mumble that he was only putting forward an alternative suggestion.

Takeaway Some people will speak with each person at that person’s level, with no hint of arrogance, superiority, envy or jealousy. They just want to engage, and they come from all of society’s strata.

Commentary You just never know, so tread carefully when meeting new people – some of them are dark horses that could be way above your league.

ESP Or Clairvoyance? Actually, It’s Quantum Entanglement

Barry was having a chat with Kerry one day. He mentioned that more times than not – to the extent that it was really statistically significant – he would actually predict and be reaching for his phone before it rang, or waking up from sleep just before the phone rang when his children or partner were the ones calling. He said he must have great extra sensory perception powers, or be a budding clairvoyant superstar. Kerry’s immediate answer to that was to ask him why he was not driving a Rolls Royce Silver Ghost, flying private jets, and criss-crossing the globe after having ESPed the winning lottery numbers multiple times, and syndicated his winnings to all his family to avoid suspicion. That put paid to Barry’s clairvoyant aspirations. But that could not explain the numerous times strange coincidences occurred, he said. Then he went off at a tangent and started postulating that all these phenomena could be explained by quantum physics, specifically, quantum entanglement. Albert Einstein had called it ‘spooky action at a distance’. Barry postulated that family have the same/closely matching DNA, and his theory was that at inception there was some entanglement of DNA particles and therefore some permanent latent psychic connection. With partners, he explained, there could be quantum resonance, maybe quantum tunnelling during those most intimate moments – producing the quantum pairs that lead to entanglement, and therefore spooky action at a distance. Like telegraphing that a lover is thinking of you or calling you – and the other

person is then alerted: much like a telephone ringing to alert you that there is an incoming call. This spooky action at a distance can happen within inches of each other, or if the other person is on the other side of the universe. ‘Interesting theory,’ Kerry had remarked, looking perplexed and frowning heavily.

Takeaway Follow your gut instincts – it seems there is something out there that connects you to those close to you.

Commentary The dinosaurs ruled the earth for approximately 150,000,000 years. Modern humans have only been around for about 200,000 years. One day, probably sometime in the next 149,800,000 years, we will find out what that something out there is.

Going Forward While Looking Backward

This is a recipe for underachieving. Along the classic case of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. In life, we come across lots of situations where things are going well, but somehow we drive ourselves to a situation where we are so worried that the sky will fall on our heads, that we doom ourselves without even putting up a fight. To an outsider looking in, the problems seem so out of proportion with the reality. The outsider sees that the person who is in a frazzle is actually doing pretty well overall, but that something in their mind makes them fear that whatever it is that they are doing is going to end up in failure. It’s that fear - probably unreasonable - that prevents a lot of people from fulfilling their full potential. As if they are scared that whatever they’ve done is not up to scratch. Apparently, very clever people suffer from this disproportionately. They fear that the world is watching them with a magnifying glass, and that their every little mistake will be instantly revealed to a closely watching world. Reality is probably that nobody gives a flying fig – or a flying Basil Brush for that matter. So at the end of the day, we each need to do what we have to do, and not give in to the opinion of non-existent critics that only reside in our heads. We all need to live the old adage of a bird in the hand is worth two in cyberspace.

Takeaway Do not shackle yourself with imaginary chains that only you can see.

Commentary Nobody really cares about how you’re feeling inside your head – you are only as good as the results that you physically manifest in your life. People who spend their lives examining their past and looking backwards all the time tend to fall over and hurt their chances of success in the future

Curious Case Of Nationality

Now anyone who hears Larry’s accent can make an educated guess as to where he spent his formative years. Nowadays, millions of us grow up locally, but live globally. The ‘locally’ can be anywhere from the snowy peaks of Tibet, to the jungles of the Amazon, to the blue waters of the Danube. Modern man in Africa - and his cousins who left Africa in 40,000 BC – do not recognise superficial boundaries. He (or she) will travel to where s/he is offered a job, or where s/he is accepted and can find a job. Also, there will be those homo-sapiens who live a life of leisure, and will travel wherever they want, whenever they want, and they come in all hues and dispositions. So it was that Larry was visiting his son’s University in the States, humbly minding his own business as usual. At a sports function there, a Latina looking man asked Larry where he was from, as you do to make conversation with strangers. Larry said, ‘London.’ Whereupon, some other European looking man - not involved in this discussion – interjected and said, ‘You don’t look English.’ This said with a smug look: geography was obviously not this person’s major at high school. No prize here for the intrepid Sherlock – after all Larry had been born in Africa. So, quicker than a mantis shrimp could fire his club, Larry replied, ‘You don’t look American.’ He certainly didn’t look like a descendant of the great Native American warriors

Sitting Bull, or Crazy Horse, or Geronimo or Cochise, Larry confided as he told his tale. ‘I speak American,’ the gentleman had shot back, looking puzzled. ‘I speak English,’ retorted Larry – an instant, nanosecond riposte. Larry looked at the gentleman, who looked back, and both turned away from each other.

Takeaway Learn how to play verbal ping pong at hypersonic speed – and be ready, any time, any place, anywhere. In this case, he who speaks last avoids the mental scars.

Commentary Why anyone would want to show off their knowledge of geography to strangers, whose capabilities they have no clue about, is a facepalm head scratcher.

Smart People Are Lazy

This is like teaching grandma to suck eggs: of course, smart people are lazy. In the chat with friends, Yusuf disagreed because he believed that the phraseology was wrong, but the conclusion right. He said it was because smart people need time to imagine in great detail what was, what could have been, and what could be. In this process, they could get their knickers in a terrible twist that left them paralysed on the couch. Paralysis by analysis, as they say. There are similarities with the example of the fly and the bee put in a wine bottle with the end open. We also know that bees are cleverer than flies. After all they can do the Bee Dance, which is the language that they have used for millions of years to communicates with each other as to where the honey is. And we humans (with the honey badger getting an honourable mention) just love that honey. So the smart money would be on the bee getting out first - however, the bee would be too logical. It’ll try and follow where the sun is, most likely behaving as if there was no other way out. And so the bee will rarely go to the open end and escape. The fly on the other hand will be whizzing back and forth, up and down, side to side as fast as it could flap its wings and, by chance and not by design, the fly will find its way out quickly and escape.

Takeaway Sometimes the unpredictable one wins out.

Commentary So whether you’re smart or not, success is yours to create. The only difference may be that if you can learn something faster than others, you will succeed faster than someone else who is not as ‘smart’, or is just plain lazy. The key is that with application, both sides can get their rewards. Eventually.

Schrodinger’s Cat Rules

The eyes are the windows to our soul, if not our inner thoughts. So if we’re full of confidence, our eyes will be positively showcasing us. We’ll go through life quietly confident and assertive, treating people that we meet as equals - be they royalty, presidents, servants or beggars. However, in life we will also come across situations where someone upsets the calmness of the pond that is our life in the calm and tranquillity of our walled garden. For example, as when someone steps on our toes. As usual, we don’t press the nuclear button when such things first happen. The initial reaction would be to try and calmly understand where that person is coming from, because sometimes we do hurt other people’s feelings without actually thinking about it or realising what we’ve done. When a particular individual aggrieves us several times however, we’re most likely going to graduate from trying to understand why first, then go on to asking them not to do that to us. Ultimately if it carries on, we have to make a choice. In situations where that person is not part of the family, some people’s route would be to just cut them off. In which case we don’t care whether they are alive or not – as we will never open that box again, because we don’t care any more if Schrodinger’s cat in that particular issue is dead or alive.

Takeaway Being nice and cultured does not mean that you are stupid, and should be

trodden on like a lowly worm.

Commentary Eventually, in life, even the worm will turn.

Be Open To The New

Understanding what the other person is trying to do first before you take any hasty action is to be recommended. It may be that they are a lion and feast on flesh, whereas you are a hippo, and feast on grass. Sometimes people are just insecure and resist change just for the sake of it – the ‘It’s always been done like this syndrome’, or as someone allegedly put it when the iPhone came along: Nokia knows best. It’s all about absorbing that new idea, or way of doing things – seeing what is actually the intent of it. The main thing is not to dismiss out of hand something new that comes along – because change comes in all sorts of forms: be it revolutionary and totally new, or organically incremental – like watching a snail scale a wall. Whichever way, the one who moves first and quickly reaps the benefits ultimately. The one who resists feels good in the moment, but has plenty of ‘I wish I had’ musings later on down the line. Barry’s Paps used to say to him that he would learn from the Devil himself if that entity had something useful to share. We should never cut off our noses to spite our faces, because sometimes even those we think are beneath us actually do have something useful to bring to the table.

Takeaway

To be open and understand the deeper meaning of what you see.

Commentary Even a Force Five hurricane starts as a gentle breeze, so be aware of what that breeze could become.

Say A Prayer For A Safe Return Home

Life is full of strange things. One of them is that feeling of invincibility everyone seems to feel on the road after they get behind the wheel of a car. For example, a petite person who might be under five feet tall becomes Superwoman/man in an instant behind the wheel. Before driving off anywhere, Koni always tells himself that all he wants to do is to return home safe and sound so that he can enjoy cracking jokes with his family and generally relax with them. The reason he says this to himself each and every time is because he is actively and proactively suppressing any feelings of anger that he might be tempted to indulge in. Another key thing that he keeps telling himself when he’s driving is that he does not own the road. This makes his brain aware that no matter what anybody else does on the road, he must never feel territorial about it because the road does not belong to him. So as he drives along, he is aware that the other person has as much right to be on the road as he does. Consequently, whatever antics other drivers employ – like cutting him up at the very last second on the motorway and zipping diagonally to the exit from the fast lane, or driving such that the distance between their front bumper and his rear bumper was not my much wider than an ant’s hind leg – they get no reaction from him. Too many times he had heard stories of sudden instances of road rage that led to serious injury, even death, and damage to property and vehicles. It was just not worth the hassle, because Koni had nothing to prove to anyone

that he met on the road. That glass of Chevalier des Mers rosé wine waiting for him at home was way more important than getting into some mindless argument over something that wasn’t even his.

Takeaway If another driver wants to be aggressive towards you for anything, the best thing to do is not to engage that person at all.

Commentary The first order of the day should always be to get back home safely to your family – or pets as the case may be – in one piece.

Criticise With One Side Of The Mouth, Praise With The Other

Have you noticed how some people are very good at criticising everybody - and everything - around them? This of course is not the best social behaviour, because it would give the people on the receiving end a complex about themselves if the criticism is unwarranted or disproportionate. In particular if you’ve got children that are being constantly criticised, then they will definitely be developing some complex or other, and will probably start losing their self-confidence because whatever they are doing always seems to be below par. The best thing to do with anybody, especially children, is to criticise the behaviour, not the person. In addition to this, the good critic should also give their opinion as to how the matter could have been handled in the best possible way for the benefit of the person being criticised. This is assuming that the person who is doing the criticising knows more than the person being criticised on that particular topic or action.

Takeaway Even if you are a smart Alec who knows everything (and in this modern world the chances of finding such a person are equal to finding a hen with T-rex teeth), at least share your knowledge.

Commentary

Criticism as an activity should always have two sides: the bad and the good.

Be A Zombie – Don’t Look At Anyone When Travelling

Zebra was walking along on his way to the river to quench his thirst. In the distance, out of the corner of his eye he spied a lion lying in the grass. Having clocked where the lion was, he carried on walking whilst maintaining a safe distance. For a short while, gazing straight ahead, pretending he hadn’t seen the lion. ‘Hey there!’ the lion accosted him. Zebra turned and looked at the lion. ‘Lovely day, isn’t it?’ Zebra responded. ‘Indeed it is. But tell me, didn’t you see me lying here?’ ‘Well, actually I did.’ ‘You did? So why didn’t you say hello?’ ‘Well, it’s like this. If I looked at you, you might get upset and accuse me of staring at you.’ ‘I would never say that,’ the lion said indignantly. ‘Well, people have been known to come to blows, or be eaten, when they look at others the wrong way.’ ‘I’m not like that.’ ‘I wouldn’t know that you’re not like that just by looking at you now, would I? I just want a peaceful life, and not get engaged in the drama of looking at people.’ With that he walked on, leaving the lion disappointed.

Takeaway When you’re out and about, mind where your eyes are pointed at.

Commentary Unfortunately, we can’t tell from the outside which people resent other people having the freedom to look at them.

The Big Chief Syndrome

Some say that one should talk softly, and carry a big stick. This only applies to confident people who know their self-worth, people who know that they are not dependent on anybody else in of their view of their place in the universe. It is people who have got some self-doubt, or are the biggest con men or women, who tend to be the biggest braggarts in the workplace. They seem to have some need for affirming that they actually are someone important, and that the people beneath their level must pay homage to them. Obviously this is not something that fair-minded people want to encounter when they go to work each and every day. These are the kinds of people who de-motivate otherwise highly motivated, and ionate, people. It seems that organisational power legitimises their perception of themselves, and it goes to their head. Charismatic power on the other hand is to be preferred – it comes from within the individual, and is directed towards working comfortably with others. History is strewn with individuals who have harnessed that charismatic power for good (Martin Luther King; JFK; Gandhi; Mandela) or evil (Hitler; Stalin). Go figure which of them used organisational power to rise and do their deeds, and who were just …. themselves.

Takeaway When you have managers acting like Big Chiefs at work, and who do not exhibit

the humility that is required to carry people along with them in the long run, then the company has a problem.

Commentary People with this tendency tend to cost organisations in the long-term.

People Who Keep Saying Goodbye, But Don’t Leave

Daisy made a vow that as her children grew up, she would relinquish the niches that they were growing up to occupy. Her vision was that they should grow up and become very independent and make their own decisions, decisions that would have been fine-tuned over the years of them asking her what did she think of this, or this, and what did she think of that. This time of t decision-making, where they sought her input so that they would arrive at a safe solution during their formative years, made sure that by the time they were adults they had mastered to a large extent the process by which one arrives at the solution where the right options have been looked at properly, and the best decision made under the circumstances. That is of course the duty of the parent(s) to coach their children and prepare them for when they become independent adults. It is a brave and confident parent who leaves the stage at the right time, and stands behind the curtain applauding their children as they shine in the limelight. However some parents like to hang on, and will not leave the limelight or centre stage. They engage in the long goodbyes, enjoying the repeated curtain calls whilst their children start fretting behind them. Such parents need to realise that there is an infinite number of stages where they can progress to, and be the stars without eclipsing their own children.

Takeaway Otherwise known as ‘Grow up, and exit stage left when it’s your time to go.’

Commentary When your time comes, move on gracefully. Your magnanimity will be much appreciated by your offspring.

Democracy

It’s amazing how the world has changed. An interesting question is posed: Is democracy something that should come under ‘Do as I say, and not as I do?’ If an alien was to visit Earth, and was cloaked with an invisibility device, and they observed how democracy worked in action across the globe, what would they observe? Would it be that those nations under democratic rule followed the principles that the Greeks had laid down for that philosophy? Would each segment of their society be free to speak and to do what they wanted? To get any jobs they wanted? To live wherever they wanted without their property being defaced with derogatory names? To be protected adequately by those their very own taxes employ to do just that? Would democracy be used as a pretext to go and break into your neighbour’s house and beat him up because he was not treating his wife and children the way you thought they should be treated?

Takeaway Democracy should have the same definition the world over.

Commentary

Complacency and corruptness tend to blur ideals.

Cultivate Your Inner Innovator

Many people come up with lots of innovative ideas. Some of them unique in the world, some copies (sometimes unknown at the time) of others with the same idea expressed differently. People are at their best at different times of the day – no two humans being the same. At these times, ideas just seem to jump into focus out of nowhere. One of them would be in the early morning when one is taking one’s shower. It is at this time when unresolved issues from the previous day, the previous week, the previous year, and in some cases even in previous decades suddenly come into focus and alternative solutions and inter-connected options present themselves. For example, how to resolve issues at work is suddenly as clear as day. Over the years, what this has meant is that some people have disciplined themselves to be very open to what their inner voices, the innovator, is saying. Once the idea is in their head, then the conscious brain takes over and builds a framework for the practical solution of the problem in the context of the reality on the ground. This has worked very well in some cases, because it is in that quiet time with the warm water droplets falling that their brains just open up and literally spew out solutions – sometimes to things that they were not even conscious of. These ideas of course do come at other times of the day as well, but they tend to be drowned out by the hustle and bustle of everyday life. One of the greatest skills one can have is recognising and keeping alive that thought that the inner innovator churns out.

The icing on the cake is in actually going ahead and doing something about it.

Takeaway When your inner voice says to you, ‘Grasshopper, this is how you do it.’, get a pen and paper quick and make sure you run with the opportunity.

Commentary Archimedes’ ‘Eureka!’ moment and public nakedness was just sheer inner innovator exuberance.

Is Enough Not Enough

Some of the Cherubs have taken things a step further, and they appear in the media and base their life and death decisions on … ‘because we’ve seen the proof on social media’. Observant readers would note that not one of them has said, ‘Well, it’s actually true that aliens do exist because we saw the alien autopsy film on social media, and therefore it is true that aliens exist. And that Sasquatch or the Yeti exists because some fuzzy film was shown on television channels and YouTube of a big furry brownish humanoid figure walking into the forest while looking back at the cameraman, like, ‘Yeah, catch me if you can.’ And, yes, crop circles are made by visiting aliens because, didn’t you see that Facebook post?’ All of these things mean that an injustice is being visited on citizens by those who stand up and say, ‘Yes, the Yeti exists because we saw pictures of a giant footprint in the snow on Google, and it trended on Twitter. Therefore, it’s common sense that they exist because the proof is there.’ As the good old Romans used to say ‘Quod erat demonstandum’. QED.

Takeaway As the foundation of Western values, Socrates and his fellow logical Greeks are probably spinning so fast in their graves that they’ll probably build enough speed to achieve escape velocity into space and head for Saturn’s Iapetus, the progenitor.

Commentary

The internet and social media seem to be obviating the need for some key decision makers to decide to dig deeper for actual facts.

To Real Friends

Isn’t it amazing when you meet that genuine friend you haven’t seen or even talked to for years, and you just start talking as if you’d only seen them yesterday? You chat away the hours, and continue as if you see each other every day. It’s fantastic to have friends like that. Friends for life. A manifestation of true connectedness between the two individuals. Gratifyingly, when these meetings take place, no guilt is ascribed to anyone about any past interactions. Each does not lay any blame on the other for not keeping in touch. In a way, if anyone laboured that point, then they are not genuine friends because the genuine friend is just happy to see their friend. This is the mark of a true friendship, where you can let your guard and hair down and be you, just you - because the other person is only interested in the real you, the you that they have connected with for years, and it would continue to be so for the rest of your natural lives. They just want to know what’s gone on, they want the dirt dished. Even when Zimmer frames are in the frame, and you are shuffling along, the air will be filled with the tittle tattle of friends who have a genuine affection for each other, and a bond for life. Never mind enemies – always keep these genuine friends very close, and make sure they are a priority anytime you meet up.

Takeaway Enjoy your time with those who enjoy the same with you, with no guilt, blame or accusation. These are the people who make life outside work and family worth living.

Commentary On average, the older we grow, the less friends we have and the more difficult it is to make new ones. …… and the grumpier most of us get, and become less tolerant of the small talk that builds the initial foundations of friendships.

What’s In A Name

Rosebud started a group discussion with her friends. She was explaining to them that it was a mystery how those people who came from Africa were never called Africans for the majority of the time in the media. ‘You know, if I had millions of dollars, I’d set up a seminar where we would sit down together and as a collective come up with some ways of finding one name for us, instead of using the bland nondescript ‘black’ that evokes nothing but negativity. Even then, lower case is used in the vast majority of mentions in the media,’ she told them. One of them observed, ‘Wouldn’t it be easier to just say African then? What we need to do is to popularise use of that term in the community and in the national and global press.’ ‘Yeah, I think that would begin the process. Although Africans themselves will simply say – we are Bantu.’ ‘That’s beautiful – but first I need to make those millions and get rich, then we can start making the change!’ They all laughed.

Takeaway It’s better to name yourselves collectively, than have someone else name you what they want. (This does not apply to helpless new-borns).

Commentary

You have to be comfortable with the name you’re called.

Angels

There was a time when Bramley was really down in the dumps. His landlord in the flat he was renting was becoming more and more obnoxious, trying to force him out so that he could bring in new tenants – for more rent money of course. And so Bramley was caught in a Catch 22 situation. He could afford his rent all right, and he had never once missed a rent payment in all the three years he’d been there. However, at this point he wasn’t earning enough to put in a hefty deposit for a new flat, and escape from the stresses of his current place. So unless someone stepped in to give him that boost that he desperately needed to reach that rung on the ladder to the next flat, then he’d be caught in a vicious cycle. A vicious spiral that might end up with him being homeless. Luckily for him, an old family member visited him one day on his way to the next city. He saw what the situation was, and although he himself was not wealthy but was getting by, he asked Bramley to look for a decent flat and he’d give him the deposit money so that he could at least have somewhere decent to live which was stress free. The man said that he knew what it felt like to feel helpless, tossing about in your bed at night and not knowing how you’d survive if an unscrupulous landlord chucked you out onto the street. Due to the man’s generosity – and he never even asked to be paid back Bramley was able to move out within a month, and get a new start in a new flat.

Takeaway We all appreciate an angel in our lives when times are desperate.

Commentary Whenever you can be an angel to someone, don’t hesitate to help - and look out for those too proud to ask.

Levels of Control

Koni and Kaposa had various arguments all the time. The last time they agreed in a civil and shocking way (to their friends) was at the conclusion of a discussion on the perceived relationships between parent and child. They agreed that the relationships should be seen as a rectangle with one axis showing time, and the other showing the age of maturity and hand-over of responsibility from the parent to the child. They illustrated their conclusions by drawing them on pieces of paper.

Child’s Time Line from Birth (Not To Scale)

The friends who were caught in the middle were just happy to get an insight into what normally they just did not think about, and were happy to see a united front from the two friends.

Takeaway Know when to your child and when to exit, stage left – gracefully.

Commentary It’s like teaching your child to ride a bicycle : once they can do it by themselves, no matter how wobbly – let go.

Going In Circles

Ty had some not so irable characteristics when it came to choosing women. It drove his siblings and relatives nuts. One brother called it out just right. He said if you kept thinking about Ty’s problem of dealing with women, you’d end up going round in circles yourself. And all know that a circle is endless. Recently, Ty had been flirting with and flitting between different women almost every week. Not that that was an issue – it was just the drama these rotating relationships brought. Worse still were the endless hours the family had to endure as he unloaded on them and tried to talk himself out of liking this girl, and hating that one and vice versa. He’d pace up and down the room throwing his arms about. His brothers called it the Seagull Gang Leader Syndrome after the seagull in the animated film Happy Feet that talked himself and his gang out of a juicy raw penguin steak lunch. We’ve all seen the type – over-analysing a situation, resulting in paralysis and no action, and lunch escaping. Unfortunately, you can’t choose your siblings (time travellers need not comment here). Thus they were forced to listen to the pros and cons of each of Ty’s new girlfriends. Some of the women had high hopes of climbing the greasy pole to permanently date Ty exclusively and tried to befriend the siblings. However, the sibling observers had decided to sit high up in the ‘stands’, and not

get involved. They were content to just sit and watch the train crashes happening while they drank their wines and beers, and took bets.

Takeaway A couple of turns around the not-so-magic roundabout should be enough to encourage you to jump off, and you’ll still be standing (even if non-too steadily), as any more turns and you might end up flat on your back.

Commentary When a problem is intractable, just as a circle can never fit squarely into a square hole, it’s best to drop it and try solving something else. A second wasted is a second forever lost – and they do add up.

Doing Things So Well That Nobody Notices

Having a keen interest in the well-being and development of those around you, and willingness to help, is a very rewarding attitude. Sometimes when at home or at work, you may notice that there are things or tasks to be done by someone else which they haven’t done yet. Getting on and doing those tasks without being prompted or asked is altruism personified. Oftentimes though, these actions are not noticed, and people around you may just assume that those things just happened, happened to happen, happened to be done as their natural course of events or processes. But you will know that that is not the case, you will know that you had thought ahead and did all this because you are of that nature, and think in of team and family and love for the individuals concerned. In a way, on discovery, you also want to teach them that this is another way that you can bring more engagement to relationships because at the end of the day it’s about helping each other. At the end of day, you also save yourself and your family/team a lot of time. Time is that commodity which is over-estimated and under-appreciated by the vast majority of people in families and relationships. As you may know, when in a relationship, someone else using their time for your gain should be seen as you receiving a gift for nothing.

Takeaway A great trait of genuine altruists.

Commentary When your only concern is for the good of all, then the lack of notice is that noise in the background of your saintly celestial journey.

Even T-Rex Had To Be Careful Who It Tangled With

Donna and Ansari were having a discussion about some of the fascinating things in nature that they had learnt. She told him, ‘You know, I was brought up thinking that the great white shark was the baddest thing in the sea. Scared my knickers off each time I saw the film Jaws.’ ‘It was a fantastically well made flick too,’ Ansari agreed. ‘Yes, but did you know that when a great white shark senses that Killer Whales are about, it runs for its life?’ ‘Yes, I heard about that – and that the orcas have a way of flicking sharks upside down. The sharks immediately go into tonic immobility and the orcas then eat their livers, stomach or testicles and leave the rest of the corpse to float on.’ ‘That shocked me too. Reminded me of crafty crows that remove and eat livers from live toads, which then explode later on when they try to puff up in selfdefence.’ ‘I guess it’s a case of whatever thinks it’s top dog, there’s always something else out there that can inflict enough pain and hurt that you would want to avoid them.’ ‘Makes sense – I guess even T-Rex would have had to think twice before attacking Ankylosaurus with its heavy club at the tip of its tail, if they wanted to leave the scene with their ankles and leg bones intact.’ ‘Indeed. We humans are masters of the Earth, no doubt at all. But, even we just can’t eat and drink anything or touch anything or breathe in anything just like that without taking precautions, what with MRSA, CDiff, E.Coli etc. all ready to strike unseen at any time.’

Takeaway In the great scheme of things, we all have an Achilles heel - take time to know which is yours.

Commentary Some animals and people have a good defensive strategy to protect them against predator attacks, and are left well alone by the wise.

Not Everybody Is As Clever As You

Driving Dad’s Taxi one day on official school run duty, Kaposa got stuck behind this driver who seemed intent on spoiling his day by driving at 5 mph in a 30 mph zone. Being forced to drive so slowly made Kaposa’s blood began to boil. He started muttering under his breath that the driver should just pull over, and let him and other cars behind overtake. The whole manoeuvre wouldn’t take more than five to ten seconds, and everybody would be happy. ‘Bloody dummkopf,’ he muttered under his breadth. His daughter Barbara looked at him, puzzled, ‘What was that Dad?’ ‘That person should have the decency to move over so that we can overtake, then we can get to school on time. Traffic is building up.’ ‘What’s wrong with that person?’ Kaposa said after another minute of driving slowly. The road was too narrow to overtake without taking off someone’s wing mirrors. His daughter, cool as a cucumber, then said, ‘Not everybody is as clever as you.’ She was right of course – and that silenced Kaposa. It made him think that he was judging everybody else by his own standards. That was a mistake, because bell curves are not flat lines, and are shaped like bells for a reason. If we were all the same, a flat one-dimensional line would suffice and life would be as boring as the desolate icy landscape of the Jovian moon Ganymede.

Takeaway The world is full of adults, some of them living as children.

Commentary Don’t get upset – that person may not know any better.

If Someone Doesn’t Like You for Real – Don’t Force It

As humans, each one of us has got their own preferences. We all have our own way of judging other people, or filtering the information that we gather from other people - and making judgements as to whether we want to engage with those people or not. Sometimes we like people instantly for a multitude of reasons, in settings ranging from work, love, or play. It’s all fairly legitimate - that’s what makes us human. But equally, some people will dislike the person reaching out and rebuff the engagement. At the end of the day, when someone shows dislike for you for whatever reason, then simply turn around and go on your merry way. Because unless it is something that is materially and unlawfully discriminating against you, it shouldn’t bother you – so you should just carry on and mind your own business.

Takeaway Forcing things usually results in damage to yourself mentally or physically. Push gently – if it budges, keep pushing; if it doesn’t, just let it go.

Commentary Out of nearly eight billion individuals on this earth, someone is bound to like you for who you are – although it might take you your whole life looking far and

wide in the seven seas for that single fish you like and that likes you back.

The Schumacher Principle

Lisa’s dear old Paps was a man who prioritised helping family in everything that he did. She and her brothers too were very much into helping each other, and they would all be prepared to give the shirt off their backs if you were in dire straits. And so, throughout her teenage years and into university this behaviour developed and eventually crystallised into what she called the Schumacher Principle. This was based on her love for Formula One racing, and watching some of the fantastic races that Michael Schumacher participated in. She frequently commented on how unfortunate it was that he had that skiing accident in 2013 and ended up in a coma. But before that accident, she had already articulated the Schumacher Principle to her captive audience of two siblings. The Principle was based on the fact that in Formula One, the driver, although the front person and the one who is often the face of the team, has just one job drive the car to victory. When it comes into the pit stop, the driver does not get out of the car to change the tyres, to refuel the car, to clean the visor, and fix any small repairs that need to be done for the car to carry on. So therefore the Principle chimed with what she had seen watching his races as she was growing up - which was, when one of the family or someone in the team has got an emergency or an urgent job to do, he/she becomes the driver in the Schumacher Principle. Everybody else’s requirements at that particular point in time are subservient to the driver in the team. They all pull together to make sure that that driver has everything that they need to drive on and win, that they have no extraneous

distractions that could put them off achieving what they need to achieve. Hence the driver has a clear and fully ed shot at victory, fully ed by the whole team or family as per their requirements.

Takeaway In close-knit families or teams, it is important to realise that there will come a time when one person needs to be fully ed by everybody else, and that person one day will also the others in turn.

Commentary Families or teams that have bonded stronger than superglue will know this instinctively.

You Don’t Get Traction Standing Still On Quicksand

A lot of the time people rightfully tend to focus on what they believe to be important. However in their actions some forget the small details. This is about being in a position of strength or safety when you’re dealing with your daily life – making sure you go into situations knowing that you’ve got a strong negotiating position. If, for example, you do not have a strong negotiating position, and are going to a meeting or you are in a relationship then inevitably you are standing on quicksand. Quicksand is that very dangerous location where the surface may look solid when you first see it, but when you step on it you quickly find yourself slowly sinking into something that you just can’t escape from unless you’ve got help nearby or are lighter than a feather. So when you are standing in quicksand pit, you don’t have traction. The best bet is never to be in that position in the first place. An example of meetings at work: you need to make sure you are well prepared because if you’re not, your reputation is on the line. It only takes one or two bad outcomes from such meetings and then your career may forever be side-lined, like the train idly sitting by in the sidings and going nowhere, with just buffers waiting at the end of the track. In a relationship, a lot may depend on where you are with your partner on that relationship curve. Nonetheless, when dealing with a partner the best thing you need to do is to make sure that you are not short changed because the consequences of trying to negotiate when you’re standing on quicksand are that you lose big-time.

Takeaway When you’re in real trouble, you need some leverage of one sort or another – like something solid to stand on. Otherwise you are inevitably going down.

Commentary Travel with a hook and rope, and always have a reliable wingman you can call in an emergency.

Aging

Life and aging are like bobbing in a dinghy in an ocean full of swells. Your parents are probably a couple of decades older than you as a minimum on average. So if you were both in dinghies, you could - say - be two wave crests apart, and it would be forever thus. In the fullness of time, however, they would disappear from view as they ed. But, by then, in the normal course of life, you too would be looking back beaming with joy as your children bobbed along behind you at two or three or four crests behind. Until you too disappear from view as you ed along. That constant visibility for both sides - in some instances, several generations would be able to see each other bobbing along – is reassuring. If you are travelling in the same direction that is.

Takeaway We all age. And unless you’re some worm at the bottom of the Caribbean Sea able to live over 300 years, then get used to the idea of a finite life. So be prepared to in peace.

Commentary

Just sit back and watch time by – there’s nothing to it (apart from the taxes). And there’s nothing you can do about it. Plastic surgery might help you give Father Time a run for his money, and for a while you’ll leave him huffing and puffing far behind you – but he’ll catch up with you eventually.

Mike Tyson Moments

Back in the dim and distant past, ‘Iron’ Mike Tyson was the most feared heavyweight boxer of his generation. But a curious thing happened on that night in Tokyo in February 1990. Tyson was knocked out by a mediocre boxer called (appropriately?) Buster. Buster Douglas, Esquire. Douglas busted the Tyson myth in the 10th round. Maybe they should have taken him seriously just on the name alone. It was a sorry sight to see Tyson’s scrabbling about to retrieve his gum shield. One could say that in the rough old world of boxing what goes around will come around - unless of course you are Rocky Marciano or Floyd Mayweather Jr. and jump off the boxing train while holding your hard earned loot closely to your chest, singing Hasta La Vista, and you ain’t seeing me in the ring again. Some amongst many wondered what on earth happened in Tokyo, as they woke up scratching their heads. They thought of his troubles over the preceding couple of years or so with his wife at the time, Robin Givens, a rising and beautiful African-American actress. When they got married in 1988 – without a pre-nuptial agreement - some people thought he probably felt that he’d found a soulmate to be together with for life, as did she probably (most people would probably feel the same in that situation). He was sadly disabused of that notion, and she alleged spousal abuse. They were divorced on Valentine’s Day 1989 – about a year before Tokyo. Whatever the truth of what happened during that time and after, some have speculated that when Mike Tyson stepped into that ring in Tokyo, his body and

mighty fists were there, but clearly his fighting spirit had left him at some point before or during the fight and was clearly otherwise engaged elsewhere.

Takeaway Never let matters of the flesh cloud your mind when your life, livelihood or survival depend on a clear, focused, head.

Commentary When you’re down and out because your ex- woman/man has given you the boot, just that you’re still alive: so gird your loins, and march onwards and upwards. And take that song ‘Baby Come Back’ by UB40 and Pato Banton - catchy though it may be - off repeat play.

Sometimes You Have to Cut Off Something Dear To Survive

There was that story that touched readers about a man who went off rock climbing by himself back in 2003. He had some sort of accident and fell into a crevice, and his arm got stuck. For five days he was stuck hoping somebody would come and rescue him. No one did. Eventually, he used a pen knife to cut off the stuck appendage and thus he saved his life, and the rest of his body. Sometimes in life, no matter whether it’s business, or love, or just life, there comes a time when you have to make a hard decision. Because on one side is an abyss with chances of success less than those of a snowflake in Hell, and on the other chances of success greater than at least zero. Some people can’t seem to see the wood for the trees and cling on till Kingdom come – or doom arrive. Others make a decision to help and save themselves, believing strongly in every man for himself, and Devil take the hindmost. These are the ones who live to tell their tale, and have enriched experiences they can share fondly with their descendants or friends down at the pub. The other route is just plain depressing to contemplate, and one may end up with a desiccated body claiming distant kinship with Egyptian mummies.

Takeaway God smiles upon those who take the first step to help themselves, no matter how

ruthlessly.

Commentary In weighing the pros and cons of decisions in love, life, business – decide on what your priorities are first and when the time comes to act, do it decisively.

Python Swallowing A Large Porcupine Syndrome

We all know the expression about the eyes being bigger than the stomach. Sometimes there is a case of being greedy – or stupid – and eating / taking on something you shouldn’t have. There are stories one comes across of African rock pythons swallowing fully grown porcupines. The macabre sight greeting those coming across such sights is of the porcupine somewhere in the snake’s stomach, and with the quills sticking out….. ..…. and the snake dead. Either because they were startled and tried to regurgitate said porcupine, and then it’s like trying to get a barbed arrow out of your intestines: it just tears you up. Hence the python dies a more painful death than the porcupine. ing the club of other predators, such as leopards, who might have thought that quills were worn by quitters.

Takeaway Worse than a Pyrrhic victory, where you can at least live to fight another day.

Commentary Don’t go to war with someone who already has a doomsday weapon pointed at you, guaranteeing your death and demise even if you destroy them.

A version of, ‘If I disappear, a letter with incriminating evidence will be sent to all the national newspapers, and information released on YouTube.’ Or, as the Russians would say, ‘Who told you we have Dead Hand?’

Protect Your Progeny

Primary school is fun for the kids. Maybe not so for the parents who have to put up with car park traffic jams, and getting to work on time. For the kiddies, it’s mostly heaven – especially during break and lunchtimes when they go outside and run around and enjoy themselves with their friends. At Barry’s son’s school, during breaks, the boys would stake out a corner of the playground and a football would appear, and for the next twenty minutes they’d be kicking the ball around pretending to be soccer greats like Ronaldo and Messi. During one such break, the mother of one of the boys came by. She saw that Barry’s son was refusing to give his ball to her son. Immediately, she went over to Barry’s son and gripped him by the shoulder, demanding that he give his ball to her son. His son refused of course, and reported the incident to his father that evening. Barry was apoplectic with rage – never mind Mama Bear, don’t mess with Papa Bear either. He was not one to tolerate any unauthorised touching of his children by anyone else apart from the immediate family. It was their right to feel safe at any time, even when not with him at school. Whenever he was with them, they were never out of his sight – he had never countenanced a situation like that of Madeleine McCann, being left alone in a strange apartment along with two baby siblings. The matter was resolved when the offending mother, Barry, his son, and the Heaster sat down to discuss the incident in the latter’s office. A line was

drawn under the matter when the woman apologised in person to Barry’s son at his insistence. Barry and the woman were friends afterwards.

Takeaway Your role as a parent – should you choose to step up to the plate - is to run lawful interference for your kids when they need it.

Commentary When a child sees that a parent will do anything to protect them within the framework of justness and the Law, they will grow up knowing and appreciating the boundaries of behaviour and fairness in a civilised society.

Crabs In A Barrel

It is amazing when you listen to some of the stories friends tell you. Harawa was complaining that in his community, when people try and succeed, his own people in these communities develop antibodies to those attempting to better themselves. They will try and bring such ambitious people down a peg or two by destroying their work or ambitions. This brings these upstart do-gooders down to the level of the rest of the crabs at the bottom of the barrel. There never is any offer of working together so that one crab climbs onto the back of the other, and another onto the back of that, and so on and so forth until one reaches the top of the bucket, and starts pulling the rest up and over to freedom of whatever flavour they’ve been working to. For some reason, the majority of the people concerned only know the bottom of the barrel. They just cannot countenance the fact that unless it is they who come up with a brilliant idea to do something more than merely carrying on round and round the bottom, nothing will ever change. For them, because they are out of their comfort and capability zones, and they don’t want to be exposed, it’s best just to lend their full voice in opposition always. There are many myopics in this world.

Takeaway

Be quick to spot where rubble ros want you to fail - even before you tell them what it is you want to achieve.

Commentary If you can read the crowd, and they have a bottom of the barrel mentality, borrow a pole and pole-vault yourself out of there. You just have to have the vision to see beyond the rim.

Seeing A Mature Bodybuilder Beating Up A Scrawny Boy

If you came across a fully grown mature bodybuilder bullying a scrawny teenage boy, what would you do? Say that:

1. The hulk, who’s obviously on steroids - is justified because the kid dissed his little sister 2. It’s a democracy, the hulking man can do as he pleases 3. I don’t want to get beat up, so I’ll let him carry on 4. The hulk’s uncle is the Chief of Police, so I’ll keep quiet 5. The hulk’s nephew owns the local bank, and I need to get a loan – so I’ll just move along, nothing to see here 6. The neighbours said the kid was sassy to them, so it’s OK to let the hulking man thrash him good to teach him a lesson 7. The kid’s got pocket money, and the hulk wants it bad to go get a momentary fix 8. Report the bully to the local sheriff / police 9. Confront the bully

Answers on a postage stamp please.

Takeaway All told, bullies are not the strongest people on earth.

Commentary Every bully has a weak point. Your objective is to find that weak spot, and drive a coach and six horses through it.

Rules Of The House To Age 18

Every parent will at one time or another face rebellion from the children’s ranks as they test their growing power against the safety net that the parents have had around them since they were helpless little babes with endless needs. Parents’ ripostes to this growing threat to their hegemony vary. For instance, to discipline children, some will put forth statements designed to show that they are still the bosses of all they survey in their home: ‘When you are 18, you are free to leave home anytime.’ ‘When you are 18, you can run naked down the street – and I won’t say anything as you will be classified as an adult. Just make sure you run one way, and don’t return.’ ‘When you are 18 you can get married, and move out.’ ‘When you are 18, you can have kids and you will become me thereafter, and you can argue against yourself.’ ‘When you are 18 you can tell me to go jump off a cliff. But only after you’ve permanently stepped outside of the house and are never returning - and I will simply close the door in your face.’ ‘When you are 18 and win the lottery, you can look after me for a change. But, until then……..’

Takeaway An Englishman’s house is his castle. So, as I own the house - do as I say, not as I do (owner’s privileges and all of that).

Commentary In some houses, mutiny from children on the good ship ‘Family’ is not tolerated. At least not until they are old enough to drink a beer with you, and are masters of their own lives - and live elsewhere.

Generational Ideas

The Big Valley occasionally got flooded by the river that cut through it. When that happened, the low-lying plains would be flooded and all the grazing lands would be useless to the animals for a month or so, but there would still be plenty of grass in the foothills. However, once the waters receded, the plains were very fertile due to the nutrients deposited on the land by the floods. In the previous two years, the river had flooded, and so now the plains were green with succulent grass. The hares fed well, and they grew plump. This particular generation of hares had only been around for a year or two, as they did not live that long in the wild, what with rogue wild dogs and jackals. At the next meeting of animals in Big Valley, one of them stood up to address the assembly. ‘I love living here,’ he begun, ‘it’s a land of plenty, and it will always be like this. We should hold a celebration every year.’ The bull elephant in the crowd asked, ‘How old are you?’ ‘Just shy of two years,’ he answered. ‘Ah, but I am twenty-five times your age,’ the Bull Elephant said, with a kindly smile at the hare. ‘And I can tell you that you cannot take the water for granted year after year. Ten years ago, for instance, there was such a fierce drought that even the river dried up!’ ‘I that,’ Croc piped up. ‘If it wasn’t for a few small pools here and there, the hippos and us crocs would have been totally wiped out.’

The animals all nodded and said Bull was right, and rejected Hare’s suggestion.

Takeaway Knowledge can be generational – it’s best to take all views into , as there’s never any reason to re-invent the wheel.

Commentary The same thing happens in organisations – it’s always good to ensure that corporate memory is not erased.

Avoid Confrontation – There Are Too Many Hidden Equalisers Around

It is often said that we make snap decisions of other people, perhaps thinking that we can win against them in a disagreement. However, some opponents may appear to be weak because they are soft-spoken, and some people may think that they can therefore put the kibosh on them – only to find that the victim actually speaks softly but carries a heck of a big stick, as expounded by U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt. Or put another way, the ‘victims’ will have demonstrated that they have been ardent students of the Crocodile Dundee School of Knife Fighting martial arts, and could seriously damage the attacker’s health badly. So the attacker brings their dog into the fight, thinking there is no fight in your own dog – and then their dog gets mauled. Planning is everything. So is studying your opponent meticulously to understand what drives them, where their red lines are, and what flex or compromise they have before you pick a disagreement with them.

Takeaway Until you go behind your opponent’s façade, make no assumptions, make no mistakes.

Commentary It may take 3 seconds to form a lasting impression of someone, but sometimes it will be wrong.

Sometimes truly wrong, and dead. Dead wrong.

Et Tu, Jay Z?

Cleveland, Ohio, USA, Friday November 4th 2016. There was Hillary Rodham Clinton doing her last rounds of campaigning in the 2016 American Presidential election, where she was up against The Donald, Donald Trump. It was a concert, and onto the stage strode Jay Z, and started doing his stuff in of Hillary. Larry was watching the YouTube of the event the day after, and thought it was interesting, seeing Beyoncé speak, then Jay Z, all hugging Clinton. That is until Jay Z started spewing out ‘N***a’ in his musical exhortations. Shocked was an understatement as Larry cut off the clip. ‘Why on earth would you set such a gutter level example?’ he turned to say to his wife who was sitting next to him, perplexed. ‘Diaf children look up to him as a shining example of an African-American who had made it, who is a musical colossus striding the globe. ‘They aspire to be like him, so that in a lot of their cases, such Jay Z inspired motivation lifts them up from the poor strata they are in, even as far up as the rarefied penthouses full of Cristal champagne as occupied by Mr and Mrs Beyoncé Carter and their ilk.’ ‘I agree – why such a legend would stoop so low as to insult his own heritage?’ his wife stated rhetorically. ‘If you were ashamed of your roots, visit a cosmetics boutique hospital and be done with it!’ ‘It’s so disappointing,’ Larry said shaking his head sadly. ‘African-Americans need leaders who know that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

‘African-Americans indulging in using the ‘N***a’ are imitating and therefore flattering, in the highest and most public way, the very same racists who would call them the ‘n’ word in mind and in speech in the first place. One wonders what they think seeing this self-hate virulently displayed unapologetically.’ ‘It’s tragic,’ his wife agreed. ‘No one has seen Asians insulting themselves on such an industrial scale. Nor the Chinese; Nor the Caucasians; Nor the Jews; Nor the Eskimos; Nor the Arabs. Nor the dolphins for that matter.’ ‘Martin Luther King Jr’s rate of spin in his grave is probably dangerously close to warp speed by now,’ was all Larry could say in response.

Takeaway If you’re going to insult yourself, at least be clever enough to choose your own insult – not that of someone else who’s bigoted and utterly loathes you.

Commentary Apart from refinement, something is not right. Marlon Anderson, PREACH IT ! Please.

The Flower In The Desert

A wise old man was travelling through the desert with his caravan and servants. There was not a single animal or plant in sight, and no dogs barking either as caravan moved on. As he topped a dune atop his camel, there in the trough before the crest of the next dune, was a single flower growing with vibrant colours. He stopped and thought for a minute, and pondered whether to take the rose with him, or pick it up on his return journey. Being in a hurry, he thought his pressing need was to get to the oasis and discharge his business first. So he rushed on. The following day, hot with the anticipation of plucking the flower and presenting it to his wife, he made good time to where he’d seen it. Unfortunately, he found that someone else had had the same idea, and it looked from the tracks in the sand that they’d ed by the previous day too – going in the same direction he’d gone. There it was. He had made a choice, based on what he thought were his priorities at the time. He was further galled when his pesky neighbour invited he and his wife for a meal in their tent. For what did he see being proudly displayed by his neighbour’s wife? The same flower that he himself had ed on, thinking he’d still find it waiting for him.

Takeaway If it’s immediately available, and you want it, don’t hum and haw – grab it with both hands. A rose in the hand is worth two in your imagination.

Commentary Many a love song has been written because someone thought that a woman or man was going to hang about while they themselves went off to Las Vegas to enjoy themselves. Life isn’t like that - and that’s why blacksmiths strike while the iron is hot.

Great Teachers Stay With You Forever

Rajinder ired Ms Sanghera in secondary school. She taught his English class for all of the five years he was in secondary school. Right from the time he was in grey shorts and nervously looking forward to being one of the Fifth Formers who roamed the grounds of the school like Knights of Old, owners of all they surveyed. Mrs Sanghera was a quiet lady from India, always softly spoken, always dignified, always polite. She was the teacher least likely to be heckled or talked back to by even the most nonchalantly insolent of the pupils she taught. She had that persona, complete with horn rimmed glasses, that calmed you in her presence, and she was always of the same even temperament, with a gentle look on her face. The teacher most diametrically opposite in temperament was the French teacher, Mr Volange from Mauritius, who had a fiery disposition, small as he was. In all those years, the class cohort never saw her lose her cool, never saw her raise her voice. What an achievement, Rajinder always thought. Especially that there were characters in the class that were past masters at winding up teachers, and had elevated such harassment to the level equivalent to a national sport. Reflection - post-graduation - showed that one could learn from Mrs Sanghera’s temperament, that her approach to dealing with unruly six foot three pupils was just right, and because they were respected and listened to, they immediately toed the line in her presence, and listened to her in turn.

Takeaway Pay attention – you never know what it is you learn that will give you pleasure, or an edge, or a platform to achieve greater heights, years into the future.

Commentary Do tell your teachers you appreciate them. You never know – tomorrow you could be taught by an avatar in the classroom. And they wouldn’t really feel the emotion of your heartfelt thank you.

Scared Witless By The Ghosts Of Future Failure

Brandon wasn’t taking preparations for his American Scholastic Assessment Test college exams seriously. He’d told all his friends that he’d been accepted into a great university in the States. His friends looked on as the weeks ed and saw his inactivity. He reassured them that he had plenty of time to sit the entrance exam that was a mandatory requirement for the university to confirm his ission. After all, it was summer, and the sun was shining most days. He was due to start at the new University in September that year. Rightly so, he had worked hard and earned his place there, but the inaction worried one of his friends somewhat. One day the friend asked him, ‘If you fail your entrance exams because you didn’t prepare adequately, what are you going to say to your friends when you meet them in the streets at Christmas? ‘They will be expecting you to be in the USA, and yet you will still be in London?’ That same day, Brandon got into a serious regime of preparation several weeks before the exams were due, and in good time. He went on to all the tests.

Takeaway Navel gazing at the wrong time results in people missing out on once in a lifetime opportunities.

Commentary Make sure you don’t miss your train because the present cocoons you so comfortably it seduces you into complacency.

Fulfil Your Destiny, Have No Regrets

Letting obligations or duty prevent you from enjoying your moment of happiness is never a good idea. In a modern world were isolation is the demonstration of the unitary family (i.e. the one-person family, if you can call it that), you ought to grasp enjoyment or merriment wherever you can lawfully get it. At the same time, do not be too kind to others. Some scrupulous people may steal your lunch even as you chill out and dish out the largesse. If you are a boy fancying that girl - well, man up and go for it. You never know, that’s your future wife of half a century or more, with whom you’ll enjoy many Titanic bow moments.

Takeaway Don’t sit there and lamely say, ‘I should have gone up to that girl or boy and made my interest clear.’ You never know – sometimes, the other party will also grasp whatever falls in their lap first, knowing that in some deserts, rains come only once in decades.

Commentary In later years, you can tell yourself that you at least tried, as you scoot around on your Zimmer frame in the Indian summer of your years, with a big smile on your face, loudly singing ‘Je ne regrette rien!’

Procrastination

Those who have work to do often make the mistake of thinking of the process as a sequential one. Hence to do the work, normally you think to: start and complete task A, then go on and finish task B, then ditto C, then finally D. Because with the above scenario the mind sees this as one big chunk of work, the mind balks and thinks that it will be a lot of work, with all the attendant stress. In reality, the best way to approach any kind of task is to always know that the job should be broken down into mini-tasks that you can do easily without triggering that fear in your mind that you will fail, or it will take too long. Never stick to blindly doing tasks in sequence every time. Break up tasks into the smallest units of work you can, and do them in the easiest order, or hardest order – but do it. This will short-circuit indecision and procrastination at the very least. Rinse and repeat. Once you get going, motivation will also go up.

The original plan for completing the task would follow: A to B to C to D

If you can, you could alternatively do (independently): B to C; then C to D; then A to B

Or C to D; then A to B; then B to C

Takeaway It’s always getting started that counts when facing that mountain you have to climb. Don’t stall before you even start.

Commentary As they say, when you have to eat an elephant, do it in bite-size pieces. Find the easiest tasks to do first, and then get in your groove and get motivated to complete the tougher tasks.

Consideration

Niko was going home, travelling on the underground using the Metropolitan and Bakerloo Lines to get to Charing Cross station. It was the in the middle of winter, and when he got to the station platform he hurried towards the rear of the train – which would become the front once they left the station. He sat in one of the two single seats nearest the door in the fifth carriage, as he always did. He looked out of the window at the other engers hurrying to get into carriages further up, and waited for the conductor’s whistle to signal that they were about to start on their way towards his warm bed before the daily drudge begun once again in another twelve hours’ time. A short time later, there was coughing and sniffling coming from the seat in front of him. He looked up and saw that a man was coughing open mouthed, had no tissue, and was using his coat sleeves and hands to wipe his nose. Five minutes later as the train left the station, he got up and went to the next carriage to find another seat. He didn’t think he could stand forty minutes of the coughing and sniffling, let alone want to catch whatever the man had. If the man had had bird flu, Niko would probably have been pushing up daisies come the following spring.

Takeaway It would be nice if we were all considerate to each other.

Commentary A wise man once commented that Empires come and go, but simple manners and politeness stay the same across time.

In Loneliness We Find Our True Friends

The wildebeest got spooked by a rogue pair of male lions who were like ghosts heard, but never seen. The stories of how they hunted down other animals and slaughtered them, sometimes just for the fun of it, spread quickly through the community. The resident lion pride said they had nothing to do with it. One day the wildebeest were grazing by the river peacefully as they migrated from one end of the plains to the other. Suddenly, there was a deep roar close to them. In a state of panic, they instinctively bolted and stampeded in the opposite direction. ‘Works every time,’ came a chuckling voice from the bushes by the river. ‘Oh, look! We have a straggler.’ The two lions broke cover and started walking towards the wildebeest that had got stuck in mud by the water’s edge. ‘I’m done for,’ he lamented as the two tawny muscular creatures strode forward leisurely. ‘My friends, all thousands of them, didn’t even hang around to see if I was all right!’ Just then, there was a shrill trumpeting from the forest’s edge as this elephant came striding majestically towards the three animals. The lions slowly backed away, and then disappeared. ‘Are you OK?’ the elephant asked the wildebeest. ‘Yes, I am, thank you. I’m just stuck, and my friends all stampeded off and left me here alone.’

‘Here, let me give you a hand.’ With that he pulled the wildebeest out using his trunk, and saw him run off to safely his herd.

Takeaway If you want to know who your true friends are - wait until the herd has abandoned you, stampeding off in a cloud of dust, then look to see who comes back for you as the dust clears.

Commentary Sometimes your true friends are strangers you’ve never seen in your life before.

Behaviour Incompatible With Principles

Ty and his current girlfriend had a lot of fun and good times. But beneath that tranquil surface lurked a human anomaly that Ty called his Planet X. That unseen, undiscovered Planet that was allegedly out there beyond the orbit of the dwarf planet Pluto. Some suspected that it dwelt beyond the Kuiper Belt in the Oort Cloud, that spherical cloud of icy objects that surrounded the solar system. The girlfriend’s behaviour disturbed Ty, but he could never put his finger on it. Ty only inferred that there was something that would tip his world upside down from the little bits of debris that occasionally floated his way from the behaviour. These were a violation of the principles that had formed Ty, and in turn Ty had modified constantly as he grew. When the bits of debris started coming at him thicker and faster like an intense night of the Perseid Meteor Shower, it was time for him to step back and stop gazing at the heavens in outer space and think of his inner space and peace. Ty came to the conclusion that if he stayed in that relationship, he would be unhappy because who wants their history re-written by somebody who is here today and gone tomorrow? Someone who never put down roots deep enough to understand him?

Takeaway If you know you are a good person, don’t let your life’s data be overwritten by some fly-by-night technician.

Commentary Don’t blindly hitch your horses to the first carriage you come across - it may turn out to have just one functioning wheel, instead of the two that are needed as a minimum.

Bad Memories

Kapoli was reminiscing on the couch, and random memories were flashing up into his mind, prompted by some song or other on the radio, or some smell wafting in from outside. As he followed some of the threads in one particular memory, his brain started questioning certain aspects of what happened in an incident with a girl he was going out with. No matter how hard he tried to get past that knot of an incident in the timeline of his past, he just couldn’t navigate past it. In truth, certain memories – this being one of them - were be too painful to get over and reach beyond. It was just like reaching an electrified fence in one’s journey, reaching out (unknowingly) to get past, and then being jolted back. Repeated attempts having the same result - your hand is knocked back, you feel discomfiture, and in the end you turn back and the pain subsides. So long as the fence is not touched, it’s fine.

Takeaway Bad memories are only revisited if you want to torture yourself.

Commentary Sometimes you need outside help to cross the fence if it’s important for you to get into that space.

Monkey Branching

Ty was a guru in dating affairs, and he told of an interesting theory. Word out there was that women were masters of the technique of monkey branching – a.k.a. as swinging from one man to another, always wanting to improve the socio-economic status of their next catch. He also read somewhere that most break-ups and divorces were initiated by women, apparently the frequency was somewhere north of 75%. ‘That’s natural,’ said Ty. ‘Why?’ Larry asked him. ‘Because a woman will monkey-branch upwards in of – let’s be honest – the socio-economic status that the man has. Once she’s securely there, then she’s assured that she can be looked after – including her offspring with the man, or before the man, or outside the nest during her time with the man – if you catch my drift.’ ‘I suppose, but it works both ways,’ Larry pointed out. ‘How so?’ ‘Well, there are lots of stories of husbands trading in their aging model of a wife or girlfriend for a fresh new model with more vibrant colours and firmer accoutrements,’ Larry replied. ‘But ultimately, it’s the women who control the monkey branching trade, either up or down,’ Ty said in response. ‘You’re spot on there.’ ‘But either sex can play in the spot market at any time.’

Takeaway There is nothing wrong with maximising one’s value whilst one can – either in one’s career or in love.

Commentary Just the old adage not to step on people as you monkey branch your way up, because they are likely to avoid you like the plague on your way down. Or if they get savvy to your ways, kick you off the branch in mid-swing.

Easy To Teach A Monkey To Clean A Room, But Not Physics

There was a discussion about raising children when the gang met up one time. Barry’s wife had recently started ordering their five-year old daughter to start sweeping the house, and polishing furniture. This had infuriated Barry. The last time the wife had told their daughter to stop playing and come and start helping her clean the house, Barry had exploded – rumour had it louder than Mount Krakatoa had, a century and a half before. He’d gone over to her and told her in no uncertain to stop doing that to their daughter. ‘But she needs to learn how to clean up the house,’ the wife had said ‘Listen,’ replied Barry, ‘I can teach a monkey how to sweep a room, and the monkey will do it. ‘But I cannot teach a monkey how to do maths and calculate planetary orbits using physics. These things take time to learn and absorb. ‘And you want our daughter to fill her head with how well she can clean a room, instead of dreaming about how well she can solve the problem of dark matter in the universe?’ He paused. ‘I can tell you now – I’d rather my daughter came running to me with a big smile on her face about how she solved this great riddle of what dark matter is, than her looking miserable sweeping rooms that are always going to be dusty anyway.’ The daughter was never ordered to clean house again – at least not when Barry

was around.

Takeaway When children are at their most vulnerable, parents need to make the best choices for them. It is the parents’ duty to think for the child until they are of age.

Commentary Neither tradition nor culture is a defence for failure on the world stage.

Nice Guys As Reformed Bad Boys

Niko never could understand it. There he was trying his best to get this woman interested in him, but she looked at him, and told him he was a nice guy. He was too nice, too respectful, it appeared. She was after a bad boy was the implied wish. In his mind, with a smile, he wished he could have played Michael Jackson’s I’m Bad at that moment. Niko later came and discussed this exam question with his mates. Common comments were: ‘How could she not spot the wolf’s grin under the camouflage sheep’s fleece that he wore?’ ‘Didn’t she realise that Niko was a chameleon who was a specialist in doing exactly what the woman wanted, but was too clever to show his hand, because at the end of the day, if the woman could not spot a diamond in the rough – that was her problem.’ ‘In these days of diseases and ambiguity, and #MeToo movements, a man had to be cautious and keep his powder dry until he was sure that the feeling was mutual.’ ‘Reformed bad boys never really changed their spots, no matter how nice they behaved. They were just as ruthless – if not more so.’ ‘Because you never saw the really Bad Boy in the Nice Guy until it was too late. And then the woman would wonder what had hit her – but by then the Nice Guy / Bad Boy chimera was long gone, tail flicking in the air.’

Takeaway Just because a man treats a woman with respect, does not mean that he will roll over to have his belly tickled by her. It could just be that his Mama (obviously a woman) raised him to respect women.

Commentary Some women mistakenly think that Nice Guys do give a damn. Nice Guys who know who they are, and where they are going really don’t because most are competent deep sea night fishermen.

The Invisibles (Eye Exclusion)

The eyes are the windows to your soul, if not your inner thoughts. If you thought all human beings would be eye candy at some point, you would be wrong. So said Koni to Yusuf one day. He went on to tell Yusuf a rather disturbing story. He had noticed that at work, as the only person of colour, his colleagues always avoided looking at him in meetings. He found it odd. Human interaction depends on looking at each other directly for affirmation, acknowledgement, and inclusion. It would get weird because he would be sitting in the middle of two people, and the one opposite would look the other two – on either side of him – in the eye, but not look at him at all. Totally blank him like he wasn’t even there. Like he was some sort of invisible ghost or elephant in the room. Even when he was sitting with his junior colleagues, they would still do it. They would speak to his junior colleagues inclusively almost as if they were his boss. That would irritate the pants off of him – but what to do? He theorised that this was a subtle way of exclusion: if I don’t look you in the eye, I demean you – you don’t exist. I look at those I like, and so you are here, but you are not with us. Koni asked, ‘Take your two-year old child, and for the whole day don’t look at them when you are speaking to other people in their presence, not even when they call ‘Mummy/Daddy’ to you. Instead, look at everybody else in the eye. This applies to all children regardless of skin colour.

‘If you do this day in and day out, how do you think the toddler will start feeling psychologically? ‘Even worse, take this scenario into the classroom, and into the teenage years: a teacher avoids proper eye in the classroom with certain students every time – again over time what do those ‘eye excluded’ children start feeling? ‘What builds up in their minds?’ He left Yusuf deeply thoughtful – it was something so subtle, yet so fundamentally disturbing to the victim.

Takeaway Keep your eyes open, and follow your gut instincts.

Commentary There are some rather nasty ways to covertly practice exclusion out there.

Bottom Of The Global Totem Pole

Kaposa made an observation the other day about bullies, noting that at national level it seems the whole world racially picks on Africans. Which was sad, as beneath the colour of skin, eyes, and hair all are the same – cousins under the skin. There was the revelation that then California Governor Ronald Reagan gleeful called Africans monkeys whilst chewing the cud with President Nixon. Then, as President, Reagan went on to unequivocally the racist apartheid regime in South Africa, as did Margaret Thatcher. In 2018 British Lord Alan Sugar waded in with his snide racist tweet about the Senegalese national soccer team in the World Cup, saying they’d soon be selling bags and sunglasses on the beach in Marbella. Like one of those kids with a lame joke to tell, it seemed that he must have been waiting and itching to tweet that one for ages. Honourable mention went to those soccer fans - especially in the former Soviet bloc - who had taken the racial abuse of footballers of African descent as a serious national sport. Then in 2018 (again !) there was the Chief Rabbi of Israel Yitzhak Yosef calling people of African descent monkeys. Apparently, he was citing a age from the book of Jewish law, the Talmud - raising interesting questions. If you call your own cousin a monkey, then what are you? In summer 2019, along came Clemens Tönnies, Chairman of the board of German Football Club Schalke, exhorting that instead of increasing taxes in his home country of , ‘funding should be provided for building power plants in Africa so that the locals ‘would stop cutting down trees, making children when its dark.’’

‘Who would he be to dictate to Africans how they live their lives, and when they make their babies?’ Kaposa wondered, stating that the populations of Africa and Europe were 1.2 billion to 0.7 billion, and Land Areas 30.4 million km² to 10.2 million km² respectively. Therefore Africa had 3 times the land area of Europe, and under twice the population. And Mr Tönnies was unhappy about it. He did not tell Europeans not to make too many babies – but wanted Africans to be the ones to reduce their birth rate. Asia had 4.5 billion people: ~ 4 times what Africa had. So, why Africa?

Takeaway Live and let live - let’s all respect each other as human beings.

Commentary Racism should be rarer than a whale walking on land.

The Mistake Men Make With Women

Ty and some bachelor friends were holding court in one of the local watering holes. A discussion on women started when they were all sitting down after getting their drinks. ‘My ideal woman would be someone who was my equal. Someone I respected, and we’d share responsibilities equally,’ Randy said. Then Ty piped up, ‘Believe me, I have been looking for years for that someone that I simply get on with, and she’d have my back at all times. Still looking, I am.’ ‘So why is it that in a sea of women, men cannot find their matches?’ Tendai asked. ‘I think the more interesting thing to focus on is why women give us the boot and breakup with us 75% of the time? What are we doing wrong?’ this from Colin. ‘Are you sure it’s us men doing something wrong? Suppose the women have their agenda, which is to get a good guy, have kids, and then divorce to enjoy a free life subsidised by the good guy?’ Omar chimed in. ‘I don’t know if that’s right. But that it’s the women who get pregnant and for nine months carry our children,’ Ty reminded everyone, surprisingly considerate. ‘Yes, and you would really think that over time a couple would get closer, and love each other more, forging an unbreakable partnership into old age,’ Colin added. ‘It’s a perplexing question. The flip side is to ask ourselves – why do we ourselves initiate breakups 25% of the time then? Is it compatibility, buying

misrepresented goods, seeking younger models…..?’ Randy asked. ‘It’s so difficult to come up with any one reason. What I do know is that there are so may factors that come into it in the modern day that I fear the norm in the future will be just being single,’ Colin concluded. ‘That’s the day the human race will start dying out,’ Omar chipped in.

Takeaway A wise person once said: ‘In a relationship, a man should lead and the woman should guide.’

Commentary You get what you reach for.

Let’s Argue After We’ve Reached Our Mountaintop

You’re in a team. You’re in a relationship. You have children together. You have parents. You are working together as a village to raise that child. What are the priorities you have decided on together? It is better that when there is a collective effort to achieve something for the greater good, and all are agreed, then the focus is on the end result, and how you work towards it. However, some people’s memories on agreements may last no longer than that of the legendary goldfish. Strife soon follows, and they take their eyes off the common prize. They start instigating arguments, because the self - and not the collective - is now their only concern. The other asks why they don’t wait, delay their exit, at least until they have both achieved the common goal. ‘When we reach our mountain top, you can then tell me to get lost – because we’ll both have gotten what we want.’ At this stage, this pleading is like trying to reason with a King Cobra a metre away that’s looking you in the eye, and asking it not to kill you in a blistering strike. That is, it’s too late.

The same applies with those who are deaf to reasoning based on self-sacrifice for the good of the many. Trying to understanding them is like believing in alchemy.

Takeaway Never make a bargain with a snake. If it speaks with an oft-flicked forked tongue, hisses, and slithers on the ground and is out to do you in - then it’s a snake, and don’t make deals with it.

Commentary Unfortunately, clairvoyance is not something humans have yet developed. Therefore, if you want a reliable partner to work with, and reach your mountain top together with, thus achieving your mutual goals - take some serious time to plan and choose the right one.

You Too Can Move Mountains

The thing is, you have to understand where you want to start and where you wish to end when you want to move that mountain. Treating it all as a project, you can accurately predict where you will start in most cases – because you have to start somewhere. However, between the start and end of your endeavours, other factors normally interject. Such as time for example, quality, cost and value. So the end point is not a sure thing, as lots of things need to be factored in. The more effort you put into your project, and keep knocking out completed little projects or tasks on a daily basis, then you will move that mountain eventually. One of the keys to success is that when you’re busy shifting rocks etc. out of the way, don’t keep stopping to stare at how huge the mountain is. Instead, keep looking at your pile of earth and rocks to see how much you’ve moved each day. In other words, pay attention to the successes you are achieving incrementally, because you believe you will move that mountain a stone at a time. Before you know it, that mountain will be a little molehill. And you will indeed have transformed a mountain into a molehill.

Takeaway When you fret about how big that mountain is, and you think about how you

can’t possibly succeed, visualise the end point and your celebrations after you’ve finished your job.

Commentary Work to, and for, the end. The mountain can indeed come to Mohammed if you are determined enough.

Shady Exclusion

There are solid reasons why polar bears are white in the Arctic, green mambas green in the jungle, and scorpions brown in the desert. Amongst humans, exclusion and discrimination are about power. Those who wield it don’t see or feel it, and those affected are powerless to do anything about it. But then, strange things happen within those societies discriminated against. Within them, those with lighter complexions closer in hue to the colonial masters, start thinking they are above those who have a darker hue – even though everything else is genetically the same. A ‘Shadism’ galore. So while the Rome of Africa burns, some of the African Diaspora are looking in the mirror, and preening as to how lighter skinned they are compared to their fellow Africans. In the meantime, their collective Rome is reducing to ashes. A prime and classic example of how, if left unchecked, the Napoleons of George Orwell’s Animal Farm arise. Interestingly - particularly for Africans - you can naturally have a very light skinned sibling, born right after a darker skinned one (or vice versa) – from the same biological parents. This is to be expected as, of the modern humans, Africans are the original blueprint, and are the most diverse - the oldest lineage in our collective 200,000 year history. So, should there be a distinction and intra-familial discrimination? Of course not.

Of old, and mostly still, this did not matter to most Africans: you are of the same family.

Takeaway Give that woman a facepalm.

Commentary Give that man a facepalm.

No One Owes Me Anything, I Don’t Owe Anyone Anything

As one goes through life, it is important to that unless you have a contract, you don’t owe anyone anything. Maybe you owe your parents some gratitude, and looking in on them or after them when they are old and grey. Otherwise, if you meet a stranger in the street who wants help from you – it’s a judgement call. It depends on your feeling and outlook. The main thing is that you don’t owe that person any engagement at all. Engagement leads to psychological manipulation where you may feel obliged to owe that person something – depending on how skilled at manipulating you that they are.

Takeaway Fixing the fact that you are not obliged to anyone in your everyday thinking will ensure that you are not blindsided by subconscious manipulation.

Commentary Con artists know every trick in the human vulnerability book – so best be prepared.

Blowing Rings In Someone Else’s Smoke

It was a confusing time down at Big Valley. The Buffalo believed that they were being treated differently to everyone else because they were apparently too cantankerous to fit into the polite society of the other animals. So they formed a group to protect what they said were unwarranted profiling by the other animals. They decided to create a hashtag for their community to raise awareness and offset the negative gossip - #BuffaloAreCuddley. They also went about with placards which said that Buffalo were just the same as everybody else, and should not be treated differently to everyone else. The Wildebeest took umbrage at this, as they were called ugly and believed they were the worst put upon, and formed their own group, calling it #WildiesAreCuddley. So on quite a few occasions, the buffalo and wildebeest were in the same area at the same time, and this confused the other animals and they didn’t know what the real issues were, and who to . It split them into different camps. In amongst all this, it was reported that a terror group of jackals, calling themselves the Grey Jackals were roaming around claiming that the flamingos by the lakes were encroaching on their dens and their cubs were being threatened. Before you knew it, up sprang a group of African wild dogs, calling themselves the Grey Dogs. They said their purpose was to prevent the jackals doing what they themselves wanted to do.

In all of this, the aims of all the various groups started melding into one incomprehensible message, which was then largely lost on the animals of Big Valley.

Takeaway If you don’t like someone’s message to succeed out there, blow your own smoke with the same cigar brand, preferably Cohiba.

Commentary If you are on a crusade, make sure your public relations strategy takes in every imaginable and conceivable outcome, knowing that you are playing chess against seen and unseen opponents.

Materialistic

Stewart and Carlos were driving along M4 motorway to a meeting in Bristol early one morning. Stewart had picked up his friend and colleague earlier. ‘Nice car you have,’ Carlos had remarked as he stepped into his friend’s SUV, which was the latest Range Rover Sport model. ‘Yup, she’s a beauty all right. It’s the HSE Dynamic model.’ He then started detailing the spec on the seventy grand car. ‘Man, that’s impressive!’ Carlos exclaimed. He sat in silence listening to the beautiful rumble of the engine as they drove. ‘Don’t you suffer horrendous depreciation on the car?’ he asked. ‘Not that much. In the first three years depreciation is pretty reasonable. What car do you have?’ ‘Just a plain old Ford Focus.’ ‘I hear they are very reliable.’ ‘Ja. Never had a problem with it – and I’ve had it for over five years. Bought it second hand. So, apocalyptic stories of cars, such as this, losing half their value when they leave the forecourt are false?’ ‘With today’s cars, I think so. But I really don’t know about other cars.’ ‘I just want a car to get me from A to B avoiding getting wet and the like.’ ‘You’re are not materialistic then?’

‘No, and I’m not green either.’

Takeaway They say you have to spend money to make money, so for non-materialistic people, sometimes there’s a problem.

Comments However, being materialistic helps on the dating scene, as outwardly it shows the opposite sex what you can offer. Unfortunately, no one has yet found a way of telling someone’s IQ from a distance without speaking with them

Be Truthful To Yourself

It’s better to be truthful to yourself in good time. Don’t believe that you will disappoint someone when it’s a business deal – it’s better for both of you to have the total picture rather than a partial picture on which to base decisions. People appreciate honesty because the one commodity we all freely have, but can never recover, is time. In love too, it’s better to be up-front with your intentions and feelings. That way, you don’t string along your partner over time – in some cases decades. It’s just not fair to the other party. So just tell it as it is – the other party will appreciate that you released them from months, years, decades even of false hope in which they could have found someone who truly loved them. You could release them to make their own mistakes, rather them being your mistake.

Takeaway Don’t be selfish – if something is not for you, say it as soon as possible.

Commentary It’s not about hurting someone’s feelings as much as giving them the time to find alternatives.

The Prometheus Conundrum - Brilliant Idea, Lousy Execution

We know that we are supposed to be entertained when we buy our tickets to watch movies at the theatre. We get that the makers of the film are trying to get our adrenaline pumping as we watch. However, giving us scenes that just don’t make sense starts to eat away at us. We are expected to suspend our belief when we watch movies, to enjoy them better. However, when the level of suspension of that belief is expected to go down to that of a three year old, then there is a problem. Our minds then become less believing, and start questioning why we should be subjected to things that have no remote basis in fact or the imagination of the viewer. Cases in point – of the crew running exactly in the footprint of where the spaceship’s going to fall, even looking up at it, but still running within the footprint of the crash. Even Asterix and Obelix’s chief, Vitalstatistix, could have seen that one falling from the sky. The other case being explorers on a strange planet seeing a weird creature they’ve never seen before, and deciding that it was tamer than a well fed corgi and perfect for petting. This on an ‘alien’ planet. I go to the cinema to be wowed, not come out cursing a blue streak because the Director made me start doubting my own sanity!

Takeaway Ban CGI from good movies – and don’t ask what comes first: a) a good film, or b) bad acting.

Commentary Rank stupidity we get. Seriously, we do. And we can all read the Darwin Awards to our hearts content – for free on the internet. In the world of CGI etc., at least give us value for money and lull our jaded brains to gentle acquiescence.

Someone Else’s Work

Across the world, people suffer from this phenomenon. Have you ever written a report, and ed it to your boss, with that proposal to increase the efficiency of your team by 30%? How you slaved over the weekend, in your own time, making sure that all the figures added up? And you trusted your manager to be fair and square with you, and give you due credit? And then there you were at the company annual get together, and awards were being dished out? Then your boss’ name was called out as the person who came up with the idea of increasing team efficiency by 30%, and they went on stage and collected the certificate, and the bonus to go with it? Well, then, you were truly and properly Green’ed. You see, you were not the first one this happened to – kind of happens frequently too. Sometimes it’s harmless, sometimes the ‘thief’ gets all the accolades and makes gazillions of money out of it. Leaving you, the originator or inventor, open mouthed and penniless. Larry once complained about the numerous occasions when people of colour offered up great ideas, were ignored, and then miraculously, others suggested the very same idea shortly after, and the whole company erupted in praise. He was informed by Harawa that being Green’ed was nothing new. Nathan Green was an African-American slave in the American South who worked in Jack Daniels’ distillery, later becoming the first head distiller there. Apparently, Mr Green taught Mr Daniel the secret recipe of the whiskey that was to become world famous as Jack Daniel’s.

Only in recent years has Mr Green’s ingenuity and contribution to Jack Daniel’s whiskey been acknowledged - 150 years or so later.

Takeaway Old school managers always look after their team, and give due praise for great work – i.e. they encourage their staff to be the best they can be. They don’t feel intimidated by that because they are themselves confident of their own abilities.

Commentary Looking forward, in the office or at your innovator’s bench, know the laws of intellectual property and who can claim what.

Feeling Like A Ghost That Can’t Depart The Party

As the children mature and start creating their own families, parents need to vacate that space. Because children and parents shouldn’t share the same spaces such as nightclubs, party friends etc. Therefore parents need to banish themselves onto the next stage. Only then can the parents’ ghosts stop haunting their old stomping grounds, where the children are now energetically enjoying themselves. It’s the only way of avoiding time travel where father and mother and children intersect in time and space. Parents who linger too long stunt their children’s growth and clip their wings unintentionally. And strange things start to happen, where some end up on TV shows like Jeremy Kyle.

Takeaway It is inadvisable to sup from the same table as your progeny in Party Land.

Commentary Move on in time gracefully, never look backwards, for there lies the false arrow of time that points in the wrong direction.

The Wolf And The Lamb 21st Century Style

Daisy was a hard worker with twenty years of experience. She was asked to write a report to be handed in the following day at 3:00 pm. Her working style was to influence behind the scenes, and not be confrontational in meetings. It was way more effective, as no one lost face. Whereas her head of department was an ‘I am always right, and what I say is the truth’ kind of manager. So she prepared a draft of the report, circulated it to her boss and the section head who was responsible for the area. They had a meeting, and the section head said that she wasn’t happy with presenting her section’s narrative the way the department head wanted, and she would do it her way. The department head wasn’t there, so they all agreed and how to do it and Daisy sat down with the section head, who dictated verbatim exactly what she wanted. Daisy tidied up the report and sent it to the board secretary at 3:00pm on the dot. The following morning the department head called her in and said that he was not happy with the report she’d written, it was below par, and not something he was expecting. Daisy pointed out that the report was verbatim what the section head had dictated. It was clear he had already made up his mind what to do, and jumped to a conclusion. His first action should have been to find out what had happened and also liaised with the section head. She couldn’t win.

Takeaway The lamb should plan to drink far away from the wolf, preferably several miles downstream.

Commentary If you’re in any situation where your soft intelligence and gut instinct point to animosity beneath the surface, pack your bags ASAP and leave. Sooner or later, temptation to bite seemingly weaker animals will surface – because to a predator, everything on four legs is beef on the hoof.

Inner Beauty Transcends Bias

History gives us myriads of examples where the inner beauty of people shone through. For example:

• The many Europeans who helped Jewish people escape from the Nazis. • Native Americans helping the first English settlers settle in North America in the harsh winters. • Those who fought to abolish the industrial strength slavery of the African peoples. • Those who have volunteered – and continue to - in impoverished inner city schools, and ghettos all over the world. • It’s all there – the majority of humans are comionate towards each other.

Unfortunately, a few will lead the many up the garden path because they have the influence, and some of the many are too busy eking out existences until suddenly what was wrong is right, and what was right is wrong - and they are too scared to stand up, stand out, and right things.

Takeaway Pet lovers will love this – is a grey cat any more special than a white cat, or any more different from a brown one, any more different from a black one? And when you crack a brown egg, is the result any different to when you crack a

white egg?

Commentary Don’t start on the horses. Believe in the goodness of man and woman, when understanding is not hidden by wool pulled over collective eyes.

The Prasad Paradox

Prasad was one of those enigmatic philosopher friends. One day, seeing all the news about ‘white’ Americans (i.e. United States citizens who originated from Europe) calling the police on their fellow American citizens who happened to be of African origin (‘black’ as per mainstream media representation) and in one instance even shamefully calling the police on a preteen African American girl simply trying her hand at entrepreneurship at the tender age of 12 - he posited the following: ‘What would ‘white America’ do, or be like, if all the citizens who had connections and ancestry to Africa suddenly disappeared from the USA? ‘Would they be happy?’ he asked rhetorically. Ajay ed in with a question of his own, ‘If there is a forest fire and a mongoose and a cobra are in mortal combat, and the smoke and heat are getting ever closer, what would they do? ‘Carry on fighting because one virulently hates the other literally to the death, and both get burned alive? ‘Or come to their senses and each escapes alive?’ He then pointed out that the fixation of some sections of American society on their superiority - particularly over the descendants of the slaves that made them rich in the first place - was a fatal flaw. Because instead of rejoicing and embracing their diversity together, they would let an even stronger adversary in through the back door. A classic case of hubris, and concentrating in the wrong direction.

Takeaway

It’s never a good idea to disadvantage those who you think you are superior to.

Commentary So called superiority comes, and goes, with the ages. Ask the Dinosaurs, the Roman Empire, Ottoman Empire etc. etc..

Trust Your Instincts

Joyce recounted the story of how in the heady days of her youth, she had hosted a long distant cousin who was in town for a while. This cousin was known to occasionally avail herself generously of other people’s property without their permission. But Joyce thought she and her cousin understood each other, and believed that the cousin would never visit such liberties on her. One night, as usual, Joyce went to sleep and put the keys to her wardrobe under the left side of her pillow. In the morning when she woke up, she found that the keys were under the right side of the pillow. A little niggling voice in her head said something was off. But in her haste to get ready and go to work, Joyce dismissed the voice and rushed off to work, leaving her cousin asleep – or so she thought. When Joyce returned from work, she found half her clothes – the most fashionable – were gone. So was her cousin. She frantically went around the neighbourhood trying to find her – all to no avail. Sitting down back in her bedroom, it dawned on her that deep in the early hours of that morning, her cousin had crept into her room, opened her locked cupboard, fixed the latch on the door, and replaced the keys under the pillow, where Joyce’s head was blissfully unaware – but on the wrong side. Pretty brazen stuff.

Clever too. If only Joyce had listened to that inner voice puzzling over that small detail, she might have thwarted the theft.

Takeaway Never ignore those niggling voices that are saying something is not right. Pause, take time out for a few minutes and try to understand why you are feeling uncomfortable.

Commentary More than half the time, your gut instinct is right – just slow down and eliminate that which is comfortable: what is left is where you should focus your attention.

Even The Fastest Car Has To Start From Zero

When Michael Jackson did his dancing moves on stage, the world stood transfixed, mesmerised. When Beckham was at the height of his playing career, he could score free kicks like no other. When Clint Eastwood directs films, we are in awe of the effortless optical feast we are consuming. But all of them did not start at the top. Sure, a lot of those we envy and aspire to be may have started off with some natural talent. But not all. The rest of the ability, the effortlessness, came with constant practice. In tandem with that was their inner belief that they could and would succeed, if only for themselves. And of course, more times than not, that self-belief would inspire them to climb even higher.

Takeaway If you are climbing a 10,000 metre mountain, and you find yourself at the 9,500 metre level filled with doubt – why not will yourself to reach for the top, even if you have to crawl there?

Commentary

Success breeds success, figuratively speaking. (This is in no way a comment that successful parents will always beget successful children).

Know Where You’ve Come From, Are At Now, Are Going

If you know who you are, where you have come from, and where you want to go, then you are stronger than most people. You will not be like that piece of tumbleweed blowing along the dusty street, propelled by whichever wind happens to by. Nobody is going to take you for a ride – not even the best snake-oil salesman there ever was.

Takeaway Dandelion seeds floating by on a summer wind, pretty though they are, drift wherever the wind is going at that particular time and have no say in the matter.

Commentary If you have to tumble somewhere, at least make sure it’s in the direction you want.

The Echo Technique

Koni was quite the ardent spy thriller aficionado, and in particular had read all of Robert Ludlum’s numerous books – each in one sitting. The only thing he was not into in his hobby was close quarter fighting as shown on the big silver screen by Jason Bourne’s Krav Maga. He had noticed that whenever he was speaking with people in the office or outside acquaintances, if he was vague about what he was actually saying and loosely linked that with the real topic he was after, an interesting thing happened. Invariably people, in trying to answer or comment on what he was saying, or fill in the silences, unwittingly revealed more information about items that were or were not connected to what Koni was actually ‘speaking’ to them about. So for example, he said, if you suspect your partner has been stepping out, you could say innocently that enemy armies have been observed on the march in the neighbourhood on moonless nights. Then just wait for any unintentional clangers to drop.

Takeaway When you undertake a deception, unless you act by yourself, the truth will leak out somewhere along the line.

Commentary If you could find a way of getting truthful information effortlessly and harmlessly, then innocently worded statements with intent are one of the best ways to go about it.

Warnings From A Dream

Hare was thrashing his legs in his sleep. When he woke up, he ed the vivid dream distinctly. In it, he dreamt that the neighbouring family of hares would be cornered by a rogue pack of African wild dogs who raided occasionally from outside Big Valley. The wild dogs would be like cunning herons who fished by tossing bits of food on the water, and catching any fish which ventured anywhere near the crumbs of food. He dreamt that the dogs would bring bundles of fresh hay and place them at the far end of a small cul de sac by the river bank, and slyly withdraw after setting their trap. So Hare hopped over to his clan neighbours and spoke to them about the dream he’d just had. He warned them not to fall for any loose, fresh hay they saw lying around Big Valley. The other family of hares said they’d be very careful while out looking for food. ‘Thanks for the warning,’ Papa Hare said. Some people wouldn’t have bothered.’ With that, Hare left and spent his morning foraging, and keeping a look out for any strange hay lying around. The other family went the other way, and came across this smallish cul de sac by the river bank. At the back was a sizeable pile of fresh hay. The whole family started running for the hay. ‘Papa!’ shouted the youngest. ‘This is exactly what Uncle Hare said. It really is a

trap! Don’t go in!’ It was too late, Papa Hare and the other of the clan were already munching on the hay at the far end of the cul de sac. The little hare started running back home, and as he did, he saw a pack of wild dogs stealthily entering the cul de sac, and knew his family was doomed.

Takeaway Don’t disregard those who bring you warnings from their dreams – sometimes it is indeed what will be.

Commentary Those who take heed save themselves unpleasantness. When you have a prescient dream then, if you can, warn those affected to take extra care.

Mighty Dinosaurs, Puny Mammals

Hare and Elephant were having a heated argument. Elephant said that he was the mightiest of all living things, and could survive anything that was thrown at him. Hare disagreed, saying that it was he that would survive anything thrown at him, because he was the cleverest. Kudu chimed in and asked if either of them had ever heard of how the dinosaurs died out. No, they both replied. ‘Well,’ Kudu started, ‘this big rock kind of fell out of the sky in a flash – so fast was its speed. ‘Before you knew it, all the big powerful animals were all gone. ‘That left only those little furry animals, mostly living underground, hiding from those big beasts and their sharp teeth. ‘So,’ Kudu concluded, ‘if you really have to look at it like that, the little animals win all the time – but it may not be due to their intelligence.’ ‘You mean there’s something to that expression that the meek shall inherit the earth?’ Elephant asked. ‘I don’t know if the furry underground dwellers were meek or not - but they exploded and took over the earth. And here we are.’ Kudu said.

Takeaway Evolution is like a river - block it one way, and it will find another way around

and continue elsewhere.

Commentary You can’t help loving Jimmy Cliff’s song The harder they come, the harder they fall.

The Power of The Brain

There have been stories of people playing computer games against on-line opponents for forty-eight straight hours non-stop who have allegedly dropped dead as soon as they stood up. An achievement in itself – perhaps where the contestants start suffering from ‘I’m going to finish in a minute’ syndrome. The brain subjugates the body in order to fulfil its fixation, for fixation it is. Taking drugs or drinking excess alcohol are options, and normally there is no gun in sight pressed to your head. As an observer once remarked, this extends to where men or women with seven or more decades under their belts feel the need to go out with partners who are a quarter of their age or less and then beget progeny. Again, all this is consensual, proving that if you are compos mentis, you can just get it on.

Takeaway If you want to beat mother nature, you can cheat – but not forever.

Commentary Sometimes the brain and body win – hence we see mothers giving birth at over seventy years of age and fathers over ninety years of age welcoming their children into the world. Love is a wonderful thing – it knows no age.

Nurturing Inspiration

In the midst of busy lives, we sometimes have flashes of inspiration. When the subconscious points out a solution to a problem that has been bedevilling us for a while. It’s often a case of the circumstances in which the outline of an idea is born. Metaphorically speaking and borrowing from the modern world of touch sensitive screens, the mind can swipe left and the idea is stillborn. Or the mind can swipe to the right, and start exploring the connection. Just as in these online dating apps, such as Tinder, the brain makes split second decisions about the possibility that the chemistry between the phone owner and the profile on the screen will be strong enough to kindle any latent fires. So the brain analyses the form of the idea, and based on preferences and ability at that point in time, calculated chances of success, and the determination to see things through to the end, the idea is either developed further, or shunted aside.

Takeaway When that flash of thought hits you, grab it and run with it to see where it leads.

Commentary Visionaries and trail blazers let their minds roam and chase that fleeting thought like chasing a butterfly in a misty forest. They are open minded, and continuously try to see how their idea can be turned into something solid that could be monetised, or simply created (like a piece of art).

Not Ready For The Exam Until After It’s Finished

When Rosebud was at the University in Birmingham, she did reasonably well. A month before her exams started, she was always seen with her nose buried in her textbooks, and nowhere to be seen. Even her boyfriend was left high and dry, not to mention frustrated. She would not be seen in any pub, where some of the wild eyed boys would be quaffing to their hearts content. After each exam, she would promptly disappear again. Not for her the post mortems and competitions to see who had got a different answer from everybody else and therefore had got it wrong or right, when they’d all be trying to figure out what grade they got from these impromptu exam exit polls. Only after her last exam was she once again her affable old self. One of the wild eyed boys who never gave a hoot as to what result they got - so long as they graduated with something - asked her why her behaviour changed. ‘It’s because I’m actually not ready for each exam until after the examiner has collected my paper from me at the end of official time.’ ‘Cool!’ was the reder she got back.

Takeaway We all approach tasks and tests differently, and devise our own individual methods to ensure guaranteed success.

Commentary An irable example of extremely focused prioritisation of the task at hand to the exclusion of all else.

Siblings

You can’t choose who of your biological family are. If the genes didn’t mix very well, and a bit of Vlad or Genghis filtered through to some of them, then you will have issues on your hands. On the other hand you could have the Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King Jr. type genes in some of them On the surface, if you have the Vlad/Genghis type for a sibling, you will be led down the garden path every now and then, and have lots of fights in the family. If they are manipulative, you may grow apart due to a thousand narcissistic cuts. If you have a King or Gandhi for a sibling, then look forward to the peaceful times. But, the best is where you all get on like a house on fire. Free from jealousy of each other, and always there for each other. Above all of that, of course, is that your parents should hopefully love each child the same, and not show favouritism. Favouritism in itself skews the growth of children positively or negatively.

Takeaway You can’t escape the selfish gene.

Commentary Some genes are more equal than others for the individual.

Kaposa’s Insanity Scenario

Kaposa was thinking aloud when his friends and he had a get together. He proposed a thought experiment which he called his Insanity Scenario. ‘Maybe I’m just talking gibberish,’ he started. ‘But, suppose that I’m a normal man,’ he went on, ‘and I am walking down the street on my way to work after my lunch break.’ ‘Suddenly, a van with blacked out windows screeches to a halt by the sidewalk next to me. ‘Four burly men, all over six foot six – including their haircuts – jump out of the rear and jump on me, one limb each, and hustle me into the van.’ ‘Where’s this going?’ asked Barry. ‘Just wait,’ Kaposa rebuked. ‘Well, suppose you find yourself blindfolded and in a solitary room that has oneinch diameter bars on the windows, and you can’t even see the sky, and you are handcuffed to the only chair in the middle of the room. ‘Someone then comes into the room with a white coat, and introduces themselves as Doctor of Psychiatry P. Ness, and says that you have been brought there because you are a paranoid schizophrenic. ‘He then says – looking at an official looking notepad – that this is the first time he’s ever seen you and your relatives have committed you to the psychiatric ward for treatment. ‘You of course do not believe a word of it, as deep in your heart you believe that no one in your family has any ill intent towards you. ‘With no access to the external world, no wallet, no mobile phone, not in your

home or place of work, not allowed to call anyone…… ‘How do you convince that person that you are not a stark raving loony, who is docile just at that point in time?’

Takeaway Sometimes strange unexpected things happen to people that can turn their lives into living nightmares, and they’re powerless to do anything about it.

Commentary If all levels of society are above board, have no ulterior motives, and above all take the time to listen and gather evidence, this would never happen. Still, mystifying incidents do happen – as in the ducks that were allegedly there and dead, but then were not, mysterious case of the Novichoked Skripals.

Takes A Lot of Hubristic Stupidity To Achieve

Life and death occur to all organisms, large and small. On a bigger social scale, Empires come and go. Milankovitch cycles repeat around the sun. Stars are born and die. Universes are born in one form or another, and then they too will come to . From the blink of an eye, to timeless lives – but finite lives nonetheless, birth and death are consequences of each other. When group think enjoyed by those who think they are the pinnacle of all human evolution makes them start thinking that only they are above the rest of the masses, the plebs, then hubristic stupidity and loss of corporate memory creeps in. It’s akin to hubris infused people then forgetting about Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion, which states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Takeaway A society needs to collectively safeguard it’s history, and come to a compromise agreement about its ambitions for its future. Leaving the latter to chance is a recipe for disaster, as anyone with nefarious motives can easily derail an entire society whilst benefitting from a safe distance, or protected by money.

Commentary What Newton didn’t specify was that sometimes the reaction doesn’t happen immediately. But, happen it will.

Even In Victory, Swindled

Watching clips on the internet, as you do, Koni’s wife showed him a clip of a boy struggling mightily against a bigger boy in a tug of war. The tussle swung back and forth for several minutes until the smaller boy eventually tugged the rope, and the bigger boy, to his end, crossing what had been the line everyone saw. Suddenly, the school person in charge of the games, with clipboard in hand walked over to the little boy, and said actually the line was several feet behind where all his teammates were standing, and the contest should carry on. This denied the little boy a deserved victory, and gave the other underserved time to recover.

Takeaway There’s no law preventing you from taking umbrage at those who feel they are entitled to cheat you.

Commentary There are strange thought processes out there.

True Victory Occurs Against An Equal, Not A Shackled, Opponent

The leopard came across an elephant in a clearing in a north Indian forest. ‘You look kind of well fed,’ the elephant noted to the leopard, who was now preening himself on the ground in the clearing. ‘Yes, I just feasted on a dog nearly as big as I am,’ the leopard replied. ‘That must have been some fearsome fight, taking down an animal the same size as you, and with nearly the same dangerous teeth as you – minus the claws of course,’ the elephant noted. ‘Well, you see, I snuck into the city in the dead of night around midnight but a few hours ago.’ ‘Weren’t you scared of the humans there?’ ‘No. I always use the alleys and rooftops and trees – they’d never see me.’ ‘Well, you’re quite the ninja then.’ ‘Don’t tell anyone – but those ninjas learnt their craft from my clan,’ laughed the leopard. ‘Anyways,’ he went on, ‘I came across this back yard because I smelt dog. It was dark, but as I approached I could clearly see the dog laying in the back yard.’ ‘Weren’t he owners up?’ ‘Nope, and as I approached the dog, he stood up and started growling at me. I circled him, and then he lunged towards me – and abruptly came to a stop.’ ‘Why, was he afraid of you?’ ‘No, in fact quite the opposite, he was positively rabid to get at me. But I noticed that he had a collar around his neck connected to a short chain.’

‘Lucky for you then.’ ‘After I realised that, his fate was sealed – he was not equal to me in strength or cunning. He didn’t stand a chance.’

Takeaway You cannot claim you bested an opponent when in fact he had one of his hands tied behind his back, and you came in swinging with both fists.

Commentary Exceptions occur when one armed opponents will win against two handed opponents (as in Danny Williams’ case, for example). But the general rule is that unless you fight fair, your victory is hollow.

Churches Emptied

There was Tendai sitting in Church and singing along on autopilot to the songs of hope and redemption projected on the screen at the front, whilst his mind and eye were checking out that finely dressed sista. All the while he was also thinking about how the world was changing. It seemed as if the days when the Church led the march of colonialism (which sucked the natural wealth out of overseas lands, and left the locals clutching bibles) were long over. Now churches were half or mostly empty on Sundays. Some of them had been converted into flats, the cemeteries built over - in some cases regretfully losing centuries of history etched on the headstones. So, what was the new faith? Where had all the faithful gone? Religion had held civilisations together for centuries, so what did all this foretell? Some religions still held it together, and were fraying at a slower rate than Christianity. Did it mean that there some correlation between opulence and loss of faith? It was said that the Western Roman Empire failed because in the long run, the rulers became focused on personal pleasures and political infighting rather than looking after the people and Empire. Was this what was unfolding in front of Tendai’s distracted eyes?

Takeaway

Evolution, like time, moves forward – sometimes at breakneck speed, sometimes slower than tar takes to drip. With the advent of finger-tip information, all the cats have wandered off in different directions – never to return to the cage with a unitary pulpit.

Commentary Change, however infinitesimal, is a given that transcends faith, time and matter.

The Answer You Know Already: Work Backwards Through The Solution

Sometimes the answer is apparent when working on problems. When this happens the person trying to find the solution can try several ways to deconstruct the problem and solve it from first principles. Or that person can work backwards from the answer. But of course, to be able to work backwards, the person must have knowledge of the wider conditions and context in which the problem is being looked at and the general rules and principles of the subject. That is how the Chinese reverse engineered a lot of technology, as did the Soviets after the Second World War, and others. Everybody does it to one degree or another. The key point remains – you have to be an expert in the field to be able to intuitively follow the right path. Success is never guaranteed of course – but aim for the stars, and you may at least land on the moon.

Takeaway If you have the general knowledge in that field, the answer may intuitively fall out.

Commentary Knowledge saves time.

Straight Line Through Winding Roads

‘That girl is very nice!’ said Tim. ‘Which one?’ answered Rob. ‘The one with the blue jeans.’ A few minutes later, to another friend ‘What do you think of that girl?’ ‘Which one?’ ‘The one with the pinched in waist?’ ‘Oh, her?’ ‘Yes, do you think she’s pretty?’ Another ten minutes afterwards: ‘Hey Larry, what do you think of that girl with the blue jeans? ‘Oh her, that’s Athena.’ ‘Do you think she likes me?’ ‘Man, just go there and speak with her yourself and find out for sure, and stop bothering me!’ The same applies in life. There are some people who are very forthright and will tell you as it is, cutting through all the verbal contortions because they have no time to waste.

Takeaway If you’re not sure of anything, the best thing to do is get it straight from the horse’s mouth.

Commentary You may think it’s the most important thing since sliced bread, but the world may beg to differ.

Python Bites Own Tail

There are lots of gruesome things that happen in nature, and with the bountiful treasure trove of short video clips showing all sorts of things on the internet, one gets to see some of these. Almost like having an armchair right there next to these life and death struggles in nature, comfortably sipping your beverage. One such clip that Ansari chanced upon showed a huge python being attacked by a badger. The badger was probably only a quarter of the python’s weight, but the fearless little critter was tearing chunks out of the snake. The snake, in obvious trauma and pain was flicking its own tail back and forth – the tip probably seeming to be like an anglerfish’s lure. On reflex, the python struck its own tail, biting it viciously. But its doom was inevitable.

Takeaway A classic case of being attacked by a dangerous outside force, having no defence, and lashing out at anything around you to escape or alleviate the pain.

Commentary Some clever enemies do that to you, just like the zombie bug. You end up turning your stress and distress against your nearest and dearest.

Win Small Everyday, Win Big Over the Years

Everyday, the poor woman sat at the roadside and sold her boiled eggs with the small sachets of salt wrapped up in newspaper. Day in and day out, she toiled. Come rain or sunshine, she was there with her small goods. Over time, she saved enough money to buy a little van and started selling sandwiches to the office workers at lunchtime. She worked strenuously at it, and before anyone knew, she had a fleet of these nimble vans, and was employing other workers to sell sandwiches for her. Then she moved, and now lived in a not so poor part of town. Her children were enrolled in a private school, and were doing extremely well there. Her smile was getting bigger as the years rolled by. She was then asked what the key to her success was. She said that each day, she achieved the three small tasks she set herself just before she went to bed the previous night – diligently.

Takeaway A small win each and everyday builds a record of achievement, and turns you into a motivated achiever.

Commentary

Rome was not built in a day, and the saying that you eat an elephant one mouthful at a time all point to the same thing. Nothing is ever birthed fully complete from nothing, and wanting nothing.

Wishing Into Reality

Nitin was always the studious one. As his friends frolicked with the girls, and enjoyed themselves at the theatre watching the latest blockbuster releases, Nitin trudged on. He had told his late father that he wished to be a lawyer. He would sit at his desk and dream himself into the offices of the top lawyers he heard about on the news and on the internet. Every day he spent a few minutes dreaming about how he would look as a lawyer, how he would speak, what his mannerisms would be like. Eventually, he began to act like the dream he was wishing for. This reinforced his belief in himself, and he begun to perform even better at college. When it came to University he aced his exams, had a brilliant internship at one of the local top drawer law firms, and was hired by them when he graduated.

Takeaway We all dream, be it for small or big wishes – it’s whether you pay attention and take action or not.

Commentary Some call it visualising, but dreaming is without boundaries.

Don’t Walk On By

Benny had a friend who had a problem with a manager in his organisation. This manager was bullying him like mad. Benny knew that he could help through advice. The only problem was that he simply didn’t have the time. However, he also knew that if he let the friend just go on without offering his advice, the manager would blow holes through the friend’s defence, and he didn’t want that on his conscience. The question was should he walk away or not? After explaining his little problem, Larry asked him this question. ‘If you see an eight year old boy being beaten up by a seventeen year old boy, would you just walk on by, while miming to Aretha Franklin’s song?’ Benny answered that he couldn’t, and so the following day he told his friend that he’d be happy to help.

Takeaway If you believe in fairness and all things being equal, prepare to have interruptions driven by your conscience.

Commentary Most altruists have a ion, and sleep well at night.

Heroes

It was August 2019. As an Ural Airlines Airbus A321 jet with 233 people on board took off from Moscow’s Zhukovsky International Airport, the plane hit a flock of gulls. Following this bird strike the captain, Damir Yusupov, initially thought only one engine was incapacitated and he hoped to circle the airport and land normally. But then, he said, his second engine cut off moments later, leaving him no choice in the matter but to get back to terra firma as soon as he could. This he did in a cornfield that was not that far from the airport. There was only one person out of the 233 on board that needed hospital treatment. Yusupov’s feat drew comparisons to the 2009 ‘miracle on the Hudson,’ when American captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger safely ditched his Airbus plane in New York’s Hudson River after a bird strike disabled its engines. In that instance, he saved the lives of all 155 people on board. It would appear that all peoples have heroes in their midst.

Takeaway One does not have to have a cape to be a hero, and heroes do come in all sorts of sizes and colours.

Commentary It’s about keeping a cool head in emergencies.

The Only Person To Compete Against Is Yourself

In class, the boys and girls were all laid back and there was no sense of urgency in any of them. When exam times rolled around, the scores were middling to mediocre. Bramley was finding it difficult to be motivated in a crowd of fun-loving and lovable, but not ambitious, class mates. The teachers could only teach the syllabus, it was up to the students to perform in exams. So slowly, he started setting himself goals to achieve against the syllabus that the school and exam boards set, and he began improving his marks in exams across all the classes that he attended. He began to pull ahead of everyone else. That made some of them sit up, and start to work harder too. Classes became a little less rowdy as, slowly but surely, they all started to want to improve their marks. However, Bramley kept wanting to do more, and the more he did, the more that his marks improved.

Takeaway Sometimes, the will of the one influences the habits of the many.

Commentary

The only person who can keep up with you at all times is yourself.

For The Determined, Every Failure Is A Step To Success

Every time that Jerry applied for a job, he got rejected. The applications piled up. Tens. Then hundreds. Then into the thousands. Still he doggedly applied. Someone advised him to keep on using that pick tirelessly at the coal face. Over time, with his determination, he begun to get interviews. A few at first, but then he begun to refine his CV and his correspondence and getting more and more responses. Eventually, he got a job. Throughout the dark days of rejections, he kept focused on the fact that he knew he was good enough for the jobs. For whatever reason, it was a numbers game, and also a question of the fears and ambitions of the person behind the hiring desk. The experience taught him survival, faith, renewal, and reinvention. Failure was one of life’s great enablers, a harsh lesson from a good teacher.

Takeaway

Failure is one of the most powerful sources of knowhow, understanding, and motivation.

Commentary That which is easily obtained teaches us poorly.

There Was Something There Before The Big Bang – The Big Void

Charlie and Niko were involved in a discussion about the Big Bang. The idea that everything that we see - those immense bodies floating in the universe on known, and unknown, laws was fascinating. Niko was of the opinion that the Universe was born out of nothing but a point from which everything we see was created – the standard accepted theory. Charlie, on the other hand, was having none of that. ‘There must be ‘something’ which creates something out of virtually nothing,’ he said. He added, ‘You know that in the strange world of quantum mechanics, matter can pop in and out of existence just like that? To me that’s proof that the Big Bang theory is flawed. ‘In the vacuum of space where we think there is nothing, particles are constantly being created and then vanishing again. ‘So, yes, there could have been a Big Bang – but before the Big Bang, there was a Big Void which might just have been a vacuum, again with these particles popping in and out of existence.’ ‘So how did the Big Bang, based on the expansion of the visible Universe happen?’ Niko asked. ‘Well, in the Big Void, there could have been a coming together of energy – like a placenta – that fed the Big Bang.’ ‘That’s outlandish!’ ‘Well, let me ask you this: if the universe continues expanding, at some point in the future, we will only see the stars in our own galaxy - or a merged galaxy

composed of our Milky Way, Andromeda and Triangulum galaxies – and the rest will be blackness all around. So what’s to say that there wasn’t a previous expansion, but we can’t now see those galaxies because they are way, way, WAY too far?’

Takeaway Nothing is born or borne out of nothing.

Commentary The Universe cannot expand if there is no Big Void to expand into. The Universe could not be born without a Mother, because the question is – ‘Who or what gave birth to that singularity that was the source of the Big Bang?’

‘Not In The Morning’ Rule

When Katrina used to take her children to school in the mornings, there used to be a lot of verbal arguments. She was driving along one morning after they had left their house, and were a few minutes away from school. ‘Mom, the teacher said that you need to see him today.’ ‘Sweetie, I can’t – I have meetings all day today and won’t be free until about four o’clock today. You’ve just ed that?’ ‘But Mom, Mr Hodges said you have to see him at 12:00 pm today!’ ‘Did he say why he wanted to see me?’ ‘No.’ ‘I’m sorry, I can’t make it. I will call him as soon as I get in the office, and I’ll ask him why.’ She knew that until she knew why Mr Hodges had asked for the meeting to do with her son, she’d be worrying and fretting about it. She decided that from that day on, there would be no last minute requests or complaints from her son and daughter. ‘Listen, the pair of you – from now onwards, could you tell me anything important that I need to know from the school in the evening before, when we are all at home? ‘I don’t want to hear any more unexpected stuff in the morning. ‘I really do not want to be worrying about things that you tell me an hour before I’m due in the office, when I don’t have time to deal with them properly.’

Takeaway Children or adults, it’s good if we pay attention to the needs of others, and don’t add to their daily burden.

Commentary It’s always best to be told of the day’s activities and future requirements when you are relaxing after a hard day’s slog, and you have time to think of the best way to deal with them.

You Sit Exams Alone

When Yusuf was growing up, he had brothers and sisters to help him with his homework. They were always there to talk through anything he did not understand. He grew very complacent, believing that he need not spend too much effort in studying as, collectively, he normally got very high marks for his work – it being a collective effort from him and his siblings. One day his father pulled him aside. ‘Yusuf,’ he said. ‘Yes, Dad?’ ‘You seem to be doing very well in your homework. How are your preparations for the exams?’ ‘I haven’t thought about them yet.’ ‘Well, I think it will be in your best interests if you start thinking of how you’re going to sit them, and what revision you need to be doing.’ ‘That should be easy, my homework is always the best in the class – what do I have to be worried about?’ ‘Well, that’s the thing: to really do well, you need to be able to handle the exam on your own. ‘Your siblings won’t be there to help you. It’ll be just … you. Note of course, that no one will help you in the exam hall, as all of you will be looking to do your best. Cheaters excluded of course.’ ‘Oh – that means really knowing my stuff.’

‘Yes, because only you by yourself will sit that exam.’

Takeaway Over reliance on others is never a wise thing.

Commentary When the crunch comes, stand on your own two feet, and be able to hold out.

Never Listen To Anyone Telling You You Are Useless, Including Me

Barry’s son Bradley came back from primary school one day with a sad look on his face. ‘Why, what happened?’ Barry enquired. ‘George called me a good for nothing fat git.’ ‘Well what did you say in return?’ ‘I said that was mean, and walked away.’ ‘Well, you did the right thing,’ Barry said, hugging his son. ‘I believe that you are very special, and you will grow up achieving great things.’ ‘Thanks, Dad.’ ‘In fact, as you go on growing up, you should never let anyone tell you that you are useless or anything negative, including your Mother and I.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Yes. You must be free to be the best that you want to be, can be.’ Another side-hug. ‘So – repeat after me: I will never let anyone put me down, including my Dad and my Mom.’ Bradley repeated it. ‘I will never let anyone put me down, including my Dad and my Mom.’ ‘Excellent,’ said Barry. ‘We’ll make sure that your little sister learns that too.’

Takeaway If your children know that they are somebody from the day they are born, and that even if they are unjustly criticised in the big bad world out there, they should not just accept it – even from their parents.

Commentary Parents should help their children develop a strong and just sense of self-belief and identity from early on.

Be Polite – It Costs You Nothing

At University, Jayesh fancied this pretty girl in his year. She used to hang out with this short and slight guy. Jayesh never could figure out why they were always seen together at break and lunch. None of his friends knew who the guy was. As his hormones drove him crazy, he felt he had to speak with her, and somehow get her to be his girlfriend. As chance would have it, one lunchtime he was walking past the library when he happened upon the girl and guy sitting together and chatting away animatedly. Unthinkingly trying to impress her, he came out with what he thought was the best alpha male one-liner. ‘Beat it, shorty,’ he said to the guy. The guy just looked at him calmly, and then looked at the girl. ‘Why are you being so rude?’ the girl asked, her anger evident. ‘I just wanted to talk to you,’ he replied. ‘Well forget that! Anyone who is rude to my little brother is never going to sit down and talk with me.’ With that, sister and brother stood up and walked off, leaving an open mouthed Jayesh wishing he’d done more investigation before he opened his mouth. ‘And to think that I actually fancied the guy!’ the girl said to her brother. ‘Well, you just can’t tell with el estúpido,’ he replied.

Takeaway Being humble and polite doesn’t cost you anything.

Commentary A polite and humble person takes the time to know themselves, and how they affect other people near and far.

Time Accrues No Interest

Hare and Croc were having a friendly chat by the sand on the river bank in Big Valley. Hare was feeding like there was no tomorrow on the grass next to the river’s edge, long ears twitching all the while. ‘Why are you so nervous?’ Croc asked, his mouth wide open as he basked in the brilliant afternoon sunshine. He was very comfortable on the sand, and was drifting in and out of short naps, his nictitating membrane flicking across his eyes the only indication that he was alive. ‘Well, them wild-eyed wild dogs and I crossed paths the other day, and in ing they complemented me as to how I looked fine and mighty well fed,’ explained Hare. ‘So I’m just making sure I get my business of eating today over and done with and retreat to my home, so that I avoid them as much as possible.’ ‘Well, that’s clever of you. It’s always a good idea to get chores done when you can, and not wait for the best time to do it,’ Croc replied. ‘Indeed – ‘best’ tends to mean different things to different people, and you can never bank the time you’ve lost.’ ‘Yes, and you cannot earn interest on that which you cannot bank – hence use time hard when it’s freely available to achieve at least something. Once it’s ed, it’s ed.’

Takeaway

If you don’t spend time wisely in that moment, you are not getting it back, even if you pine for it till the cows come home.

Commentary Time only goes in one direction - once it’s gone, it’s not coming back.

Growing Old Disgracefully

Jasper was a vain man. He was there when disco was the rage, and on the dance floor would swivel his hips enough to make John Travolta blush with envy, and Elvis spin faster than a neutron star in his coffin. He raved all night in the eighties and nineties. He begat children, and by the time the twenty-tens rolled around, these children were in their early twenties, and now were going out and about to sow or receive wild oats, as the case would be. Then the inevitable happened. Once day he went clubbing, as always denying that Father Time and Mother Nature had anything on him. So there he was trying to spark one of the girls who had come to the bar in a very revealing outfit. As he entered into his chat-up routine, honed over decades in clubs and watering holes, he heard a voice behind him. ‘Dad?’ It was his daughter. ‘Celestine?’ ‘What are you doing trying to chat up my friend?’ ‘Your friend? I didn’t know…’ he stuttered. ‘She’s a year younger than me, Dad!’

Jasper saw the disappointment and loathing in his daughter’s eyes, and beat a hasty retreat.

Takeaway The decent fathers and mothers will exit the stage and let their children have unfettered freedom to enjoy their own golden years without witnessing any of their horrors first hand.

Commentary If you want to do it, or can’t help yourself, at least do it far away enough from your own backyard - otherwise you’ll add to the stench.

As Old As He Was, Young As He Looked

Apart from those timeless immortals who remain physically the same for eons upon eons, us mere mortal organisms inhabit a continuum in between. From the Giant Sequoia trees in Southern California to Turritopsis dohrnii, the immortal jellyfish – they enjoy a look of timelessness. We can throw in Dracula’s miracle reincarnations in there as an honourable mention, not to mention African-American Henrietta Lacks’ immortal blood cells that have been used to advance the health of humanity all over the world through research for decades. Normal humans cannot compete with that, and yet amongst us walk those who defy the ageing process and look remarkably young for their age. Larry was one such individual. On several occasions he’d be accompanying his daughter – who was in her late teens - shopping, and shopping staff would either ask if they could be of assistance to him and his sister, or on one occasion, him and his girlfriend – which he of course quickly corrected. He’d bring this up now and then with his friends, stating that perhaps it was a blessing and a curse at the same time because the women his age would be thinking he was too young, and the younger women – though he looked their age - might not be too pleased if they were not comfortable with the age gap. He said he was therefore stuck in no-man’s land in the dating scene. But he was happy as he was.

Takeaway

If anyone is presumptuous about your age because you have a baby face – just bask in the praise.

Commentary Take it as a complement and smile when people younger than you call you young. In that case, those telomeres you have are like having a mint condition Highland Green 1968 Ford Mustang GT as driven by Steve McQueen in Bullitt in your garage - in 2019.

If You Can’t See The Bottom of The Pool, Don’t Jump In

A group of friends regularly spent time diving off a cliff into the sea in a place where the water was deep enough for them to come to no harm. Year in and year out as they grew into young men and women, they’d go to that spot on the promontory and jump off, doing crazy things like summersaults and the like. The waters were always clear enough to see into the bottom of the pool they were diving into. However, on this one day the team decided to go and have a swim in the late autumn and carried their beer with them to sit around on the promontory. It wasn’t a bright day, and the sea was a brownish green colour, and there had been a violent storm on the coast a few days before. A lot of sand and mud had been shifted about on the sea bottom. The local paper reported that there had been some petrified trees exposed further up the coast by the roiling waters, and mud and sand being moved about. So the normally clear waters, although as calm as waves could be, were dark. All the group walked to the edge and looked down, and decided discretion was absolutely the best part of valour, and decided against jumping in. All except Jerry. He called them all sissies, and took a running jump - feet first - into the water. They all watched him drop the 10 metres into the water, and disappear underneath. But he didn’t surface immediately, as they all had done countless times before.

They couldn’t see what was going on under the surface, some looking around thinking he was playing a joke on them and had swam underwater, intending to surface at a different spot. He did surface three minutes later, by which time all of them were panicking and about to call the Coast Guard. ‘I got stuck in the mud,’ he shouted up at them. ‘Thank goodness you’re safe!’

Takeaway If you’re doing something risky, ensure you’ve worked out all the permutations leading to safe outcomes.

Commentary Shine a light into the darkness first before you go in.

Inoculated Against Booze

Kaposa could drink two bottles of wine, feel woozy - and suddenly he’d be in deep sleep. Half an hour later, he’d come out of his slumber, and be as lucid as the Queen on Investiture Day. Some wondered what the hell his super power was. Koni couldn’t figure it out either. Barry on the other hand piped in. ‘You know what?’ he asked. ‘Yeah,’ Koni replied. ‘Kaposa reminds me of something I saw on YouTube…,’ Barry said. ‘Here we go,’ Kaposa ed in, rolling his eyes heavenwards. Koni continued, looking at Kaposa with feigned disgust, ‘There was this short clip I saw. It started with this African honey badger – one of the most hardy and fearless and ferocious creatures on this earth – chasing this yellow cobra all over the place and up a tree. ‘Imagine that, it was chasing the cobra!’ ‘Insane! I’d run the other way,’ Randy said. ‘That would be absolutely sensible,’ Barry said. ‘Anyways,’ continued Koni, ‘the cobra was so terrified, it dropped from the top of the tree onto the ground, and the badger was right behind in hot pursuit. ‘To cut a long story short, badger fights cobra, cobra bites badger, no effect and

then badger kills cobra. ‘Fast forward, and badger eats cobra, but then seems to have bitten off more than it could chew, and seemed to have been fatally bitten. So legs point up in the air, and then stillness. ‘Then, some time later, badger suddenly jerks awake, looks around and saunters off into the bush, tail in the air. ‘Just like Kaposa – one moment, totally paralytic with drink, next minute wide awake and behaving as if he hadn’t touched a drop.’ ‘I just don’t get it,’ Randy said.

Takeaway Some people can handle their alcohol as well as the badger handles cobra venom – inoculated, no doubt – which is fine, so long as no-one gets behind the wheel to drive home in that state.

Commentary Whoever invents or discovers that alcohol inoculation pill will mint millions.

The Free Giver

When he was eight, and they went on a school field trip to the South Downs, he shared his lunch with a friend who didn’t have any. He was doing the same with classmates at secondary school – and he never expected anything back, did it automatically. He was universally liked and respected, because a lot of what he did, he did not do in public. More of his interactions were on a one-to-one basis, and no one ever got to hear about it. So it was in his day-to-day dealings at work, and in his home life. Only his closest friends ever knew which women he’d had intimate relations with – because he never kissed and told.

Takeaway Just live a happy, balanced life, doing what makes you happy.

Commentary Sometimes to be popular, you don’t have to have a humongous marketing campaign – you could just use word of mouth to spread your brand’s popularity.

Last Wishes

The bull elephant lay dying alone under a baobab tree. A jackal came scurrying by. Seeing the elephant lying on its side, and clearly on his last legs, he stopped. The elephant spied him out of his weakening eyes and said, ‘You are a lucky fellow.’ ‘Why so?’ asked the jackal. ‘You get to witness the mightiest animal on this earth take his last mortal breath.’ ‘Not really,’ said the jackal, emboldened by the fact that the elephant was now harmless and could not hurt him. So he could say anything he liked. ‘You see, to me, you’re now just another piece of meat that I will eat and take home to my family to feed.’ ‘What a sad ending for me,’ the elephant said aloud. ‘I have walked the savannah for decades, witnessed countless moonless nights with the light of millions of stars lighting up the land in a soft glow, eaten the lushest grass, wandered to far off lands, fought with other bulls and sired many children – only to die alone,’ he wailed. ‘Well, if no one knows about you and what you did that was exceptional, no one really cares about your fate,’ the jackal said with a grin. ‘You are right, little friend. I wish I could have been another animal that lives in herds, and not be alone – but I am who I am, and so I accept my fate.’ The jackal’s response was to sit on his haunches and lick his lips, as the first

vulture alighted on a nearby tree.

Takeaway It is a horrible death when none of your family or friends you have known do not give you a comforting send off.

Commentary Keep both your friends and enemies close – enemies have been known to come by graveyards, even if to say ‘I hated your guts, but at least you were a good person.’

Absence Also Makes The Heart Grow Cold

The lioness was speaking with the ants one day. She told them that her husband the Lion was always sitting around, always waiting for her to catch a meal before running up and telling them all to clear off as he munched the choicest bits of the food. ‘Do you miss that he has gone off on patrol across your lands?’ one of the ants asked. ‘No. I really don’t,’ said the lioness. ‘How so?’ ‘Well, I do all the hard work getting the food and raising our children, and all he does is sleep all day and chase me and the children off the food.’ ‘I see.’ ‘So no, I do not miss him.’ ‘Is there anything he’s good at?’ ‘I guess when rogue lions come around and threaten us, he does protects us, because I can’t.’ ‘Maybe that’s something that takes a lot of energy, and he deserves to have first choice and rest. Your life literally depends on him being fit and healthy and well fed. Perhaps he’s useful after all?’ ‘Still, I don’t miss him.’

Takeaway

Sometimes, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. It makes it more liberated.

Commentary Only when the everyday chores of the world are balanced, and they fade into the background of a relationship and do not feature in day-to-day discussions will a couple miss each other genuinely when one is absent.

Dreaming Of Loader Buckets

Zulu worked in the engineering department, looking after heavy earth moving equipment, in a quarry that run 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. He was the Senior Project Manager for ensuring that production of the crushed rock was continuous. No stoppages were ever allowed. The team worked in shifts, but as the Manager, he worked only during the day, unless there was an emergency. The crews were the ones who worked the shifts. One day, Zulu had a problem because he was running out of load-haul-and-dump loader buckets. So he walked over to the engineering workshop to talk to the foreman there, because the number of buckets being repaired and returned for service was running low, and that would affect production. If that happened, senior management would come down on him like a ton of bricks. When he approached the shop foreman and asked about when he’d get his buckets, the foreman erupted. ‘Buckets, buckets!,’ he shouted. ‘I’m even dreaming about buckets in my sleep at three in the morning!’ He stared at Zulu. ‘I know you need them, but I’m under so much pressure from other things and you walk in wanting your buckets!’ ‘I need them, otherwise production will grind to a halt, and nobody wants or needs that.’

‘OK. Sorry about that, I’ll double shift the work, and you’ll get your buckets tomorrow.’

Takeaway Don’t work yourself so hard to the stage and state that you start dreaming that in your sleep you’re still at work.

Commentary If you don’t have a life, create one, or take a sabbatical. Suffering a serious breakdown for a job is irable, but no one is irreplaceable.

Reading Pulp Fiction The Day Before A Crucial Job Interview

Larry had spent the last four days doing his research for this important interview the following Monday. He’d gone on the internet, and done his due research diligently. Every waking hour he had, he’d spent on this preparation. That the interviewers would be asking him competency based questions was a no-brainer, and so he had made sure he was up to date with his STAR technique, and the examples he would give in . The day before, on the Sunday, he woke up as usual at 6:00 am. He ran through what he needed for the interview the following morning, and checked off everything that he thought he needed. As he was having breakfast, he ran across his flatmate. ‘How’s it going?’ the flatmate asked. ‘I think I’m ready,’ Larry replied. ‘What’s that you’re reading?’ Larry asked him. ‘Oh, it’s Fire Play by one William Wingate published in 1977. I found it in a flea market the other day. I’m just finishing the last paragraph. Fascinating Cold War espionage stuff – I think it turned out that a lot of it was true. I watched a documentary on the Glomar Challenger ship years back which might have had something to do with it.’ Larry ended up borrowing the book, and he spent the rest of the day reading it from cover to cover. At his interview the following morning, Larry was very relaxed and aced the interview and got the job.

Takeaway Sometimes you need to take a total break to refresh yourself, and consolidate your gains – even if it’s the illogical thing to do.

Commentary Losing yourself in something different (without guilt) at crucial times helps give you renewed enthusiasm for when you return.

That Seductress Called Power

Tristan was a mild mannered worker. As he steadily rose through the ranks, he began to head up teams, and by and large they were all happy with him and felt that he looked after their backs. The director of a business unit in the company was promoted, and next thing you knew, Tristan was promoted to the post. At first, he behaved the same way as before with the teams. Gradually, as the months went by, he began to change and became more abrupt with those who had been with him on his way up. He’d order senior managers reporting to him to make him cups of tea, whereas before he had been happy to do that himself. In time a gulf grew between him and his previous colleagues, and he began to be ruthless in demanding things from those below him. ‘What a change,’ the workers would say. ‘Give a person a high position and they change and become monsters!’ ‘I wonder if he’s changed to his wife and children too?’

Takeaway If you are already an all round nice guy, be careful when Power comes a-calling with its silken pleasures, lest you end up being an ab of the weak and less fortunate.

Commentary

With great power should come recognition of the vulnerability of others further down the food chain.

You Can’t Fish In A Dry Pond

Ansari was a man with ambition in the small town he grew up in, and achieved many great things for himself. He also had lots of friends of the opposite sex, some of whom he dated. However, advancement of career and life’s prospects kicked in and he had to move to the Big City. He arrived in a neighbourhood where he was the outsider, did not know anyone, and was unfamiliar with the mores and cultural norms of the locals. There were plenty of women for sure, but because he was busy chasing his dream, he never quite got around to engaging with them – because where and when was that going to be? He had no friends in the locality because friends take time to develop and cultivate, and he was so busy and tired trying to eke out a living in this new, foreign place. He was a handsome bloke and wanted to get a girlfriend, but with every woman he saw in the street on smartphones or listening to music, it was difficult to chat up a girl on the fly. He lamented the days when he was back with his group, and he could have a girlfriend if he wanted to – all he had to do was look. And yet here he was – he couldn’t find a single fish to hook in this big ocean of a city. He also didn’t belong to any clique or group where familiarity would provide the opportunities to engage with the opposite sex, and strike up friendships, or go on dates. Life was crummy.

Takeaway When outside your culture or circle of friends and family, you will normally end up at the bottom of the food chain, dating wise, until you establish yourself and people get familiar with you – which might take time.

Commentary Familiarity breeds more dating chances.

Worry For A Parent

The behaviour of Benny’s father was always a point of debate when he and his other two siblings gathered together. Sure, their father had a lot of irable qualities, but then it’s the unpleasant things that people the most when unhappy. It was almost like when running a project, you never worry about those things going well – you focus on those things that pose a risk to your project or are not going well: reporting by exception. So it was when it came to their widowed dad, and his not so irable characteristics when it came to choosing women. It drove Benny and his brother nuts, and sick with worry at the same time. Because they loved their dad, they tried to rationalise his behaviour in choosing women who clearly were not suitable for him and just wanted a roof over their head, free food, and even freer booze. The brothers all tried one way or another to tell their father that their crystal balls foresaw a train crash. All to no avail, as the dad carried on on his merry way. Frustrated at their warnings being ignored, one brother one day just said, ‘If you keep thinking about the problem we believe dad has, and the fact he refuses to take heed of our advice, you’ll just end up jumping off a cliff in frustration.’

Takeaway Sometimes family problems are intractable – your best solution may be to come off the roundabout if the person you’re trying to help ignores that help.

Commentary You really don’t have to go down in flames with those that you’re trying to help.

What Comes After The Internet?

Innovation and progress are of great interest to all humanity. This provoked a debate between Larry and Koni. Koni posited that the internet was the pinnacle of portable or transferrable human communication progress. Larry disagreed. ‘Look,’ he began, ‘First we just spoke to each other in our villages and with strangers ing through by word of mouth. ‘Then we went onto written languages and writing on clay, papyrus, paper. ‘Then we invented mass production of books and newspapers.’ ‘Of course, those living in those epochs thought that newspapers and books – the printed word - were it. ‘And then we came into radio and then television. ‘Now we have the internet, which is all things to all men and women and children. ‘Because of my arguments above, the internet cannot be the pinnacle of human communication. In another hundred years there’ll be something else that takes it’s place.’ ‘It’s a bit hard to see what that could be isn’t it? I mean, man has been living in houses for millennia. The basic structure hasn’t changed – a house is still just a box with a roof on it, or a circular structure with a roof on it.’ ‘There’re different levels of progress. You can’t say a house is something technological, so that’s not a good example.’

‘Who knows - in the future, it may be that when humans reach maturity at 25 or whatever, after safely storing their sperm and eggs, they’ll choose to get their brains transferred to a worldwide super connected matrix where each brain can instantly know and feel what others it chooses to connect to are feeling and experiencing.’ ‘So who will get pregnant if everybody does that?’ ‘AI robots?’

Takeaway Money drives human ambition in the modern world. If it can make someone a ton of money - and to hell with everybody else – it will happen.

Commentary Some people when the sky at night was gloriously dark, and they could make out all the bright stars in the constellations. They also wonder if there’ll be more satellite swarms like those recently launched by Elon Musk.

Boundaries

John was one of those affable chaps. Whenever anyone called him and invited him to a party, he’d always agree and be there. When his female co-workers wanted him to mow their lawns, why, John was the man, and off he went. When his boss at work wanted John to stay extra late to finish off reports, (whilst the boss himself sauntered off home to his wife and kids), there was John agreeing and doing it. But his boss never publicly recognised his efforts in going the extra mile. His elder brother would often turn up unannounced, and crash in John’s third bedroom, turfing out his youngest child. She would have to double bunk with her elder sister, much to her inconvenience and his wife’s chagrin. She didn’t mind if only he could tell them in advance. One day she up and flipped her lid. She pointed out to John that he was always putting his family last in order to curry favour with whoever asked him to do something for them. She warned him that not having boundaries based on his own needs, and those of his family was seriously affecting their relationship, and if things didn’t improve, might break the family apart.

Takeaway A person without boundaries goes wherever the prevailing wind blows.

Commentary One’s boundaries imply pre-thought and self-analysis, and acceptance of capabilities and wants. Like a gamblers limit, boundaries help you to pre-set limits and red lines which you should know not to cross.

It Takes Just A Second To Die

There was a quiet country lane in the English countryside next to a brook with a pond and plenty of colourful flowers around the edges of the pond. It was summer, sunny, and many insects were busy making hay while the sun was shining. A pair of dragonflies were patrolling the skies above the pond. Chasing each other about, darting from left to right, right to left, front to back, back to front in playful acrobatic duels, they were taking a break from chasing the girls. At one point they flew higher, and then spotted a car travelling along the road that ed by the pond. One of them said to the other, ‘I dare you to fly in front of that car for a minute and let’s see who can be nearest the radiator grill without being sucked in.’ The other dragonfly balked. ‘Nah. It’s a bit too dangerous for me. We might both lose our lives,’ he said. ‘OK, scaredy cat,’ the other said. ‘Watch the Master at work – and don’t think I won’t tell the girls all about this. Man, you’ve lost all your street cred!’ With that he darted down just as the car turned a bend and was entering the straight portion of the road that ran past the pond. He quickly flew in front of the car, about fifteen millimetres from the radiator, turning to his friend who’d by now come down and was flying next to the road, directly above the roadside hedges. As he turned to his friend to give him a mocking smile, the car suddenly accelerated into the straight and, caught off guard, he was pushed into the

radiator and stuck on the fins, dying instantly. The friend flew back above the pond, sad, but with the knowledge that his one competitor in their world was gone forever.

Takeaway One should not take chances with one’s life – it’s so easy to lose your life in the blink of an eye.

Commentary Everyone should be aware of their mortality each second they live so that they take steps to enjoy their lives while they can. Unexpected departures from this life are not as uncommon as some might think.

Happy Childhoods

The children of the animals in Big Valley were sitting around talking about their childhoods. The lion cubs told of how much they were allowed to play, and nip their parents’ tails when the family were together, and that there was always someone around to protect them. The little elephants said the same thing, and how they loved wallowing in the mud at the watering hole. The little warthogs piped in, saying it was great playing with the elephants at the watering hole mud baths under the watchful eyes of the parents. They all agreed it was great having to play around familiar places. ‘That’s so nice,’ said the baby wildebeest. ‘We wildebeests get born, and have to be ready to run as soon as our feet are steady enough a few minutes after we leave our mothers’ wombs. ‘We are really never allowed to play around in one place as we always move from place to place all the time! You all have it so good. Even the croc and python kids get looked after by their moms in one place for a few days after they hatch.’ ‘Well,’ said a tiny snake, ‘count yourselves lucky. Some of us come out of our eggs and it’s every little girl and boy for themselves and predators take the hindmost. Except for some of our oviraptor cousins, we’re left to fend for our poor tiny selves, and we don’t even get to see and know our moms and dads.’

Takeaway Not all childhoods are happy ones – a lot depends on where you’re born, and

more importantly who your parents are, or wish to be.

Commentary Your life is a genetic throw of the dice with innumerable possible outcomes.

What Will Make Me Happy At The End Of Today?

When you sleep at night, do you go over the day’s events and ask yourself what it is you achieved, and give yourself a pat on the back for having achieved it? What could you have done better? Who should you have talked to? What did you miss that you wanted to flag up? Do you reminisce about the conversations with friends and family you had that uplifted you in the past? Do you give a little thought to what you want to be doing and achieving the following day? This is the key to a happier life that achieves at least something each day, and therefore adds a little contentment to your life every day. As you open your eyes to each new day, and yawn expansively, do you what you wanted to do with today? Have you a list of things that you absolutely must do today? Things that will take you at least one small step towards your final destination in life? Success breeds success as they say – so the more you achieve of the little things, the more they will add to your happiness.

Takeaway Keep your focus on what needs to be done today to produce success tomorrow.

Commentary When you realise that there is no such thing as a free lunch (once you’ve reached adulthood), and you realise that you’re numero uno in your own destiny, and that delayed gratification is the best profit generator - you’ll be up and running in the right direction.

Failure Is Ignoring The Signs Of Success

In research, Mary-Anne was taught that being meticulous was the key to success. ‘You see,’ her research supervisor emphasised to her, ‘research is like how you want to succeed in life.’ ‘Oh, how’s that? Doing this research in itself is a sign that I wanted to make my life a success, doesn’t it?’ ‘Well yes, but I’m speaking at a different level.’ ‘But research is straightforward. Life is not,’ she said. ‘Yes, and yet there are similarities. Take for example, if you are the last of say four siblings, ipso facto, the other three siblings are in your experiment.’ ‘Experiment?’ ‘Yes, because you see, as you all grow up, they will all be experimenting with their lives. You’ll be there to document all the ups and downs, and all the crises with girlfriends, boyfriends, falling out with parents etc. etc.. You will be in a unique position to mould your life such that you choose the best path to succeed in your life - even if they don’t in theirs.’ ‘I see what you mean.’ ‘However, you cannot reap the fruits of your observations if you also don’t follow the signs of their success, from which you yourself learn.’ ‘Fair point. So how does all that relate to research?’ ‘Research is about testing things, theoretically or experimentally. Each test may fail overall, but some little things during the process will be a success. And so, a keen research mind will keep building on those little signs of success.’

Takeaway Don’t discount failures – they may mask the small successes that lead to you winning.

Commentary Keep your eyes peeled, and be prepared to repeat the failure, if only to understand and repeat the small steps that led to the small successes, and learn.

Follow Your Gut Instinct

Several times Carlos had interviews in which he prepared thoroughly. The night before, he would double check that he had indeed covered all the topics that he needed to. On numerous occasions, his gut instinct would say to revise or read up on a particular topic. More often than not, that information would come in handy in the interview, although not directly what he would have been reading up on normally. The fact that he listened to his gut instinct resulted in him always listening to that voice in his head that made the suggestions about what to top up on in the last few hours before interviews or major meetings.

Takeaway Listening to suggestions made by that inner voice in your head ought to be second nature : don’t drown that little voice out with excuses.

Commentary ‘I should have listened to my instincts’ is sadly one statement we never will hear the end of.

Minority Of The Minorities?

Something had got under Larry’s skin. When they all met for one of their monthly get togethers, and had settled down, he straight off launched into a monologue. The other friends saw the look on his face, and just left him to it. ‘No other race has been known to publicly insult itself as the African Americans – ergo Africans,’ he started. ‘The former for normalising the insulting name given to them by the slave owners. ‘The latter for going along with the name black – often used in lower case, thus trivialising them. ‘This is taken to extremes when one reads e.g.: Black and Minority Ethnic (BME). ‘Hang on, you ask, are Blacks a large section of the population that they are not included in the term minority, but are lumped with ‘minorities’? ‘Are they different to the other ‘minorities’, thus requiring a separate term within ‘ethnic minorities’? ‘What ‘genius’ comes up with these oxymoronic phrases? ‘A big non sequittur burger. ‘That aside, some African Americans and others of the Diaspora Africaine, Diaf, actively go out of their way to call themselves the ‘n’ word. ‘When other races the bandwagon, they then scream racism – and leave some of the audience scratching their heads furiously to the point of drawing blood at the incomprehensibility, and stupidity, of it all.’

Takeaway Self-respect can be self-taught – you just don’t have to be a lemming.

Commentary Those who practice this twisted art for the whole world to see ought to know better. But money may induce self-contempt as they cosy up to Caesar’s crown, or the lemmings with no idea of where they are headed, or who’s watching and splitting their sides laughing.

No Matter What, Keep Your Core Values Intact

Jayesh was weathering a severe perfect storm of work stress, girlfriend, and financial issues. So he called up his favourite uncle and spoke to him at length about his problems. The uncle was always there for him at any time day or night. He advised that Jayesh first split his problems into those that he had control over, and those that he didn’t. Discussing finances, the uncle talked him through what he needed to do to keep in the black. Next was how not to be extravagant, and what ways he could save. Moving onto girlfriends, the only thing the Uncle said was that Jayesh needed to protect his Core at all times. The Core was that set of values and beliefs that actually made up who Jayesh was as an individual. If anyone was allowed into his Core, and intentionally or otherwise, messed up the Core, Jayesh would spiral into no man’s land. The Core represented things that you did not compromise on. They were the unwritten boundaries, or red lines, that Jayesh set himself and which no one – absolutely no one - was allowed to cross. No matter what the state of the relationship with a girl was, so long as the Core was not breached, Jayesh would weather any storm. But that of course depended on if he was ever to let any woman in into the Core. ‘Now that,’ his uncle said to him, ‘would be a monumental disaster.’ He paused, and then continued to say, ‘By the way, that’s what I told your cousin

Hina, and she’s pretty much stayed true to it since.’

Takeaway Of course, flex with the times, but never change who you are, your Core.

Commentary In relationships, s/he who has boundaries avoids digging themselves out of a hole in the future that they need not have fallen into.

The Vicious Neighbourhood Dog

In the streets of Mumbai there lived some numerous feral dogs in a particular district. As with most mammals, there was this particularly vicious male dog that bit and roughed up any other male dog that dared infringe on its space. If one lesser dog even did as much as sneeze, the alpha dog would bare its teeth, growl and snarl in a threatening way, sometimes putting in a good bite as the beta dog cowered away, tail between its legs. When it came to female dogs in heat, although there would be a gang of the males following the female, they all knew to keep a good distance away from the alpha dog and the female. One look behind from him would send the dogs all scattering to the nearest alleys, to emerge only when the dog and his paramour had trotted further on. At this time, this vicious dog was in his prime, and his control over all other dogs around that area was total and complete. He enjoyed another two years as top dog. Then along came another bigger dog from one of the neighbouring areas. They circled around each other a few times when they first met, and then it was a vicious fight for dominance. The alpha dog lost his crown, escaping with only a torn ear and some bite marks. Losing his dominance meant that some of the other dogs then began to have a go at him too as he slid down the hierarchy. As he grew older, most of them started terrorising him even more until he was so emaciated he was a walking skeleton.

Then he disappeared.

Takeaway Even the strongest man or animal on earth at that snapshot in time will not be that - or there - forever.

Commentary So too with humans who forget that their time at the top has a shelf life. As you go up in a rollercoaster, so too shall it drop.

Waiting For The Right Opportunity To Amble By

Jensen was a contractor who was a specialist in Information Technology. He made quite good money, but was afflicted with procrastination and believing that he could get any job he wanted, anytime he so wished. So he was always at home watching TV, YouTube - or playing video games. Whilst he was searching for the next contract to come along, he also decided to splash out on a brand new 4x4 Sports Utility Vehicle. He got called to several interviews. A couple of them offered him the job, but he wanted one particular specialist job, saying the others weren’t as technical as he had been led to believe in the adverts and job descriptions sent. He began to get blasé about interviews, and whilst he had reserves in the bank, he had seriously depleted them. After four months of being picky, the situation at home was beginning to slowly turn from comfortable to ‘You’d better do something now’, or else next month will be full of money problems. His wife too was looking at the outgoings, private schools and all, and although riding in the big car gave her pleasure, the fact that they might be starving in a month’s time if her husband did not get his act together was beginning to seriously worry her. Then the ideal job was suddenly on offer, subject to interview. Like, ‘We need you to come in for an interview tomorrow, and start the job the day after, if you are selected.’ It was a competitive field, and Jensen wanted the job.

But unfortunately he did not get it, and the family were surely headed for Armageddon unless he got any old job just to bring in the money. His mistake was that he had made assumptions, and had not prepared continuously for his dream job, despite the enormous amount of time he had to do it.

Takeaway Be ever-ready for that one bus with your name up front, whose arrival time you don’t know.

Commentary Buses may come along all at once, but you might still miss all of them if you’re not ready at the bus stop.

Seven Ages Of Man

A man hiking up in the mountains came across a hermit sitting at the front of his cave. ‘Ah, young man,’ called out the sage, ‘How are you on this, fine, sunny day?’ ‘I’m good, thank you,’ he replied. After some further pleasantries were exchanged, the young man asked the hermit, ‘You look like a wise man. What in you view are the stages that humankind goes through? I have been mulling that question myself for a while now.’ The hermit thought for a minute or so, and then answered, ‘I would say there are seven ages of man. They are:

1. Infant – Helpless, but finding out that ‘I am, therefore I exist’ 2. Pre-teen – Exploring the local world, knowing that ‘I can affect things’ 3. Teenager – Learning about the global world; sailing through the Strait of Hormones (not Hormuz) 4. University – What will I become? 5. Worker / Mature Adult – Taxes are Inevitable; Family – doing your bit to sustain the population. 6. Indian Summer – Exit stage left; Last chance to explore and enjoy life 7. Sunset by the River – Leisurely waiting for the Grim Reaper

There are three ages before University and three after, giving the ages balance. Some of course will skip some stages – like some people may not like going to University, and may also skip it because of the burden of student loans, for example.’ ‘Which stage are you at then?’ ‘Me? Sunset by the river,’ the hermit replied with a beaming smile. ‘As you can see from the vista, the river is below to your left, and when the sun is going down, my residence is bathed in it’s warming orange glow, and I am happy.’

Takeaway Enjoy each age as much as you can, so that at the end of your Sunset by the River, you too are happy.

Commentary Do more walking and hiking.

The Pain of Good Deeds

Jade was approached by a relative in rural China to help her out. She wanted Jade to take her daughter and look after her. At the time, Jade was not married, was single and had a good salary coming in in one of the big cities. The little girl, Qiang, was seven. Over the next fifteen years, Jade kept the girl, often forsaking her own needs. She got married five years later after taking Qiang, and had a daughter of her own. She adopted the Qiang shortly after with the blessing of her natural parents, who still lived in the rural countryside and could not afford to take her back or give her the education that Jade was giving her. Qiang attended university, helped all the way by Jade, and graduated and begun a successful career. However, she fell in with the wrong man soon after. She begun to believe that she was above Jade in everything. Jade tried to make sure that things were calm, but when the girl tried to have a go at her own daughter, that was the last straw. Jade told Qiang that that was not acceptable, and she should really calm it down. Qiang would not listen and decided to move in with her boyfriend, instead of compromising and quieting down. Next thing Jade knew, Qiang had been arrested for drug possession, although she swore on a stack of bibles that the drugs were not hers.

She refused to ever talk to Jade, because she said it was Jade’s fault that she ended up where she was. So the ties between them that had been there for over twenty years were suddenly broken by Qiang. Jade was deeply hurt, as she looked at Qiang as a daughter.

Takeaway In matters of kinship, it is never a given that your altruism will be rewarded, or at the very least acknowledged. See empathetic blindness for what it is, and act with that in mind.

Commentary Someone helping another’s child should not be afraid that they are raising a cuckoo chick.

Stopping To Let A Tailgater

Barry was driving home from a birthday party that had been held in one of the local community halls next to a church. He was giving Koni a lift home – they lived in the same direction. As they drove down Brighton Road, a Jaguar sports car came zooming right up to Barry’s car’s bumper. So there they were driving along at 30 miles an hour, with heavy traffic on both sides of the road. Barry kept looking in the mirror. He couldn’t even see the other car’s headlamps – the car was that close. Barry was getting agitated, and beginning to subconsciously put on more speed. The speedometer was now on 35 miles per hour. ‘You’re beginning to speed up, you know. You’ll get a speeding ticket if you don’t slow down,’ Koni told Barry, who was now very visibly irritated, with his constant glances in the rear view mirror. ‘You know what I usually do in these situations?’ Koni asked Barry. ‘No.’ ‘Just pull over to the side of the road, and let the guy . It’ll only cost you five to ten seconds, and then we can be on our merry way with no stress. This is exactly what leads to road rage situations – and people have been known to be knifed or shot to death because they get irate that someone is driving too close to them.’ Barry indicated he was stopping and came to a stop.

Before the car was even at a standstill, the Jaguar had already roared past and was speeding away. Ten seconds later, they were well on their way. ‘I guess that’s the right thing to do,’ Barry said, now completely stress free. ‘Absolutely. I always do that – and drivers like that will meet their matches in other equally deranged drivers. Then they will get a taste of their own medicine.’

Takeaway As a famous non-person said, no-one owns the roads – we all do. So it’s pointless to act like a dog in the manger.

Commentary Best thing to do is just think of getting home safely to your wife’s / husband’s lovely hug, and that glass of chilled wine, and let the lunatics go head-to-head with somebody else.

Blood Or Not, If You’re Wrong - Don’t Count On Me

There was once a crusty man who was the top dog in the village police. He made sure the village was crime free and there was no anti-social behaviour from anyone. Together with his wife, he had 2 boys and a girl, the last child. Once the children were nearing their late teens, the eldest son begun to act up. He’d throw his weight around and declare that he was the son of the head honcho in the police in these parts. One day, when out with his friends, they went at the local supermarket intending to get some cigarettes. They were denied, but one of them took some chewing gum without paying. It was caught ton camera, and the police were called. The four friends ended up at the police station, where the boys father also worked. The boy thought his father would come out and intervene to make any charges go away. The dad did come in to where they were being held. The son looked at his dad expectantly. ‘Hi son,’ the dad said. He then turned around and faced his staff, and said loudly, ‘My instructions to you are that you do not show anyone any favours, including my son. Let the evidence point to where the crime belongs, and deal with it that way.’ ‘See you at home,’ were his parting words to his son.

The officers proceeded to check the level of theft, and gave the teenagers a caution. The son knew not to mess around with the wrong company from that day.

Takeaway When those who grow up privileged cannot work out for themselves that using someone else’s sweat to get what you want without lifting a finger is akin to downright fraud.

Commentary Man up, and take responsibility. When the cat is away, some mice have been known to bully other mice instead of playing nice.

Clever Tots

Barry was recounting a story of when he and his wife had their infant son. As the boy was growing and getting fatter and fatter, as they do in the months after birth, he decided that instead of picking up the child each time they were restless or wanted to sleep, and then pacing back and forth to soothe them to sleep, he would buy one of those small swing-like contraptions that you wound up. You then put the child in the seat, release it, and it swings back and forth, lulling the little darling to sleep. So he rushed off to MotherCare and bought one of them, and went back home. He assembled it, and put it next to his armchair, and it worked a charm on his son. Every time he was fed and burped, Barry would strap him into the swing and start the machine off - sorted, and the child fast asleep before you could say Jack Robinson. If Barry saw the boy stirring into wakefulness, he’s just wind up the swing and let it go. All this worked just fine – until the second week of operations. One evening in that week, he’d put his son in the swing, and sat back to watch television in peace as his son drifted off to sleep. His son woke up abruptly, and reached out his chubby right arm for the front , which he grabbed with his little superhuman fingers – bringing the swinging motion to a sudden stop. This made Barry look at the swing, and see his son looking at the firmly grasped in his hand. ‘Odd,’ he thought.

He waited until his son was asleep again, on his chest, and then put him back in the swing and started it swinging again. A few minutes later, the swinging again came to an abrupt stop. There was his son looking at his hand firmly grasping the again. Barry gave up for that evening and let his son doze off on his chest. This was repeated over the next few days. He gave up, and as he packed the swing away, never to be used again, all he could say was, ‘It was a good idea at the time.’ Shortly after, his son was crawling all over the house like a tiny tornado.

Takeaway Proud fathers often buy everything that they think the child will want – but sometimes they are behind the curve.

Commentary An easy example – wait till your children have that growth spurt when entering their teens, and you end up visiting shoe shops every week for new shoes.

If You Let It - Yes, The Internet Will Dumb You Down

There was a time decades ago when the perceived wisdom was that robots would replace hard human labour, releasing us to a life of more leisure. That didn’t quite happen yet. We see now that the internet will do something similar, but technologies sometimes coexist because no one can achieve what the Armed Forces of the USA would call full-spectrum dominance. The use of the internet has become a bone of contention, especially for the younger generation, with some studies allegedly showing that the level of smarts of those children watching mountains of internet content was less than for those who did not. The question may perhaps be raised as to what content is watched. If it’s just continuous loop non-value-add stuff, when you’ve already achieved your day’s work and targets, fair enough. But if it’s the staple diet all the time, then yes, whoever is watching will get dumbed down because to learn and to keep, you have to focus on the essentials, and repeat learning until it’s engrained in your memory. If essentials keep being dilated and diluted by non-value stuff, not much learning will be hard wired. Ergo, dumbed down.

Takeaway The internet is a fantastic free repository of knowledge and entertainment – but, as with everything, don’t overdose on it.

Commentary Cherry pick what you want off the internet, but don’t succumb to it’s effortless charms. And yes, some of the internet content is simply moreish.

Car Chase Choppers

How fascinating those car chases are on TV. We are riveted to see how the police will catch the offender. The drama grips you and you’re wondering if the offender will get to get the upper hand, and escape. Before you know it, you’re watched the whole episode and you’re looking on YouTube for similar content, and off you go watching one after the other on autoplay ….. It’s easy to get addicted watching someone else’s content because it requires no effort from us other than just sit there and watch, until we get hungry or fall asleep. A nuclear blast has broken up the monolithic viewer segments and spread viewer fragments – some big, some small – to the four corners of the earth. With this scattering comes opportunities to watch even more specialised content to your heart’s content.

Takeaway The screen (traditional TV, desktop, laptop, tablet, or smartphone) does seem to be - still - the opium of the masses. Maybe even more so as time has ed, because now some of it is mobile – anywhere, anytime, anyplace, anyhow.

Commentary Best to be the chap behind the screen creating the content.

At least you avoid being a couch potato.

Your Money Is Ours, Mine Is Mine

Larry welcomed his friends for their usual boys’ monthly Saturday get together. The get togethers rotated from one family to the next until all nine of them had hosted, then it started all over again. He’d recently married this beautiful lady who was about twelve years his junior. ‘Larry! Still alive, then?’ asked Koni with a twinkle in his eyes. ‘No midnight heart attack yet?’ said Rajinder as he walked in. They all knew his wife had gone to her parents for the day, and by the time she returned they would all have left. In the lounge, they were having a good old chat and drinking. Then Koni said, ‘What’s with you Larry? You look like your usual lottery numbers came up, but you forgot to play.’ ‘It’s not that. But I have a question for you guys. I just want to know so as to know I’m not losing it,’ Larry replied. ‘Shoot’, Zulu said. ‘Well, lately my wife seems to have fallen for this expression ‘What is yours is ours, what is mine is mine’.’ ‘Oh, oh,’ Koni said, with a look of pain on his face. ‘Oh dear,’ Rajinder said, looking at Larry with pitiful eyes. ‘Why are you guys saying that?’ Larry asked. ‘Well, a happy marriage is where you share together. None of this yours and mine stuff,’ Tendai said.

‘All I can say is that I hope you have a prenuptial agreement that says what was yours before you married is yours, and after you married anything you earn or create together is shared equally, because that doesn’t sound good,’ was all Zulu added to the conversation.

Takeaway Chameleons are excellent at changing colours and camouflaging themselves – but if you know their morphology, you can figure them out at a distance long before you approach.

Commentary Some people have no scruples, so unless you like facing cleaners in family court under duress, make sure you don’t get caught out.

Inculcating Charisma

There was a time Charlie was widowed and hadn’t yet remarried, and he had just the one child – a son. Whenever he picked up his son from primary school or from the childminder, and they went to the local supermarket to stock up, he’d always show his son how easy it was to strike up a conversation with the cashiers at the tills. By judging each situation depending on the cashier, Charlie would strike up a conversation and crack jokes with them, or start a more lower key conversation always dependent on the cashier. Most would of course engage in conversation with him, and the faces of a few would light up in appreciation of a customer who took the time to talk to them, and didn’t just see them as subservient service staff. But his son would sometimes grow impatient, saying that chatting to the cashiers was a waste of time, and could they go home please. Of course, Charlie never stopped. He did the same when he was travelling, always handy with the one liner jokes and banter shaped for each unique situation. At work, he was especially respectful and chatty with the secretaries, but did not flirt with them – he didn’t believe in doing that in his own backyard. His son grew up to be a confident young man, who after years of observation also turned out to be very adept at talking to anyone at whatever level of society they were at, and whatever level they were in any organisation he worked on – not to mention women he came across. And that ability only increased as he used it more and more effortlessly. He’d became a charismatic charmer.

Takeaway The selfless parent is one who constantly teaches their children everything they need then, and everything they need for far into the future.

Commentary If you were to drop dead tomorrow without freely teaching and transferring knowledge to your kids – what use will that be to you, except maybe to the daises you push up?

When You See Rain Clouds Approaching – Seek Shelter

Gator and Racoon were having a great old time playing hide and seek with each other in one of the clearings in the Florida Everglades. Nearby, there was a little pond that was connected to the myriad waterways criss-crossing the flat landscape. It had been a sunny day and the two friends had decided to play that afternoon. As the afternoon wore on, some clouds slowly begun to build up in the distance. Racoon and Gator carried on playing merrily. The clouds got nearer, and a fresh wind begun to blow. Racoon stared getting worried. ‘I think I need to retire to my burrow – that doesn’t look too good,’ he said. ‘Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s probably just going to over our heads harmlessly,’ Gator said to his friend. Soon the grey clouds were replaced by black. Thunder rolled, reverberating ear splittingly loud in the clouds. Shortly after, the rain begun to fall, accompanied by pearls of thunder. ‘I wish I’d gone home when I saw the clouds in the distance,’ Racoon lamented. ‘Now I can see that my path home is already flooded.’ Gator said, ‘Sorry about that.’ ‘That’s easy for you to say – water is your home. So, rain falling on you is like water off a duck’s back – same for the same.’

Just then, a lightning bolt struck a small mound next to Racoon, and singed his tail. In the instance just after the lightning strike, Gator made a dive into the pond, leaving Racoon cowering by himself, wisps of smoke coming off of his tail.

Takeaway When you see or feel danger bearing down on you, leave the scene and regroup elsewhere safer.

Commentary Those who wait until the last minute when inconvenience or danger is upon them court failure. If you play Russian Roulette, one in six times you will lose permanently.

Make The Effort

‘Twas the festive party season. On one of those December evenings, Shane arranged to go out with one of his plutonic girl friends to a club in Central London. He picked her up, and soon they found themselves driving westward along Wormwood Street, near Liverpool Street train station. As he drove along, they saw a group of about five males walking along the pavement to the left, next to his lady friend. ‘He seems overdressed,’ Shane said, laughing a little. The subject of the comment was a man dressed to the nines. He had a colourful jacket over a slim fitted shirt, well fitting pants and shoes that looked worth over £150 even at that distance. In short, a very colourful and well put together outfit. His friend looked at him, and then straight ahead again. ‘At least he made the effort,’ was all she said. There was no recovery from that particular comment. Shane always wondered forever after if she was hinting to him to make a move, or just sincerely making a comment about the guy.

Takeaway She made an important point – fishermen don’t get any fish by standing on the shore with no boat or kit and wishing the fish would come to them.

Commentary Not for nothing are they referred to as the inscrutable sex.

Where There’s ion, Burdens Lighten

The team had each been given very high sales targets for that year. Each of them had not been there when those targets were being discussed and agreed. It was a case of, ‘You’re new here. This is your territory. This is how much you need to bring in by the end of the year. So off you go.’ Individually, they struggled to make sense of their products and patches because they had not been there at the beginning. They did not feel as if they owned the products so that they could confidently speak and sell them. Added to that, the manager was one of those who believed that once you were told what to do, you were automatically the expert on that product and away you should go, and just do it and deliver the sales. There was no feeling of a team working together. A new team manager was brought in. She immediately saw that what they needed was direction. What pleased her most was that all the team exhibited ion for their work, which made it easy for her to introduce some changes to help them to achieve their targets. She first held one-to-one sessions with each of the team . From this, she identified that there was a lot of knowledge in the team. She then held workshops each day for just one product, inviting everyone connected with that particular product to attend and give their unbiased thoughts. This also helped the team to gel together. From these workshops, each team member got a work plan, and help in all the

areas they needed – Contracts, IT, Legal, Product Development, Marketing and Corporate Strategy. From then on, the team begun to make inroads in their sales targets. They were also a happier team

Takeaway Where there’s ion, give them the leeway to enjoy their work.

Commentary ion is like the heart of a star, an engine that can burn perpetually during one’s career, lighting up the way day or night.

Keeping Private Secrets

At one particular school, there was supposedly a furious three way rivalry in class. Different students aligned themselves to the three principal players – we’ll call them A, B, and C. There was one pupil, Chansa, who was aligned very closely to C, but every now and then would hang out with A. A was a neutral person, who really just concentrated on himself and how far he could go. He also helped anyone who asked. So in essence, he wasn’t competing against anybody in the class but himself. B was just a free-floater who just went about minding his own business. What was not widely known was that when it was just the two of them, A and C collaborated closely. They exchanged textbooks, to get a better understanding and perspectives, and shared class notes. All of which helped them both in their final examinations. Funny thing was that everybody else thought that they hated each other to the core.

Takeaway Sometimes burying the hatchet and collaborating is the best win-win way to success.

Commentary

Even better, keep your business to yourself, as only the two of you know the truth, and no one can deceive either of you.

Smile Lights Up His Universe

When Larry was hard at work, sometimes he’d be overwhelmed with projects and would often arrive home late. Every time he did, his little two year old would rush to the door to give him a great big hug with her big happy smile. He’d throw her up in the air and she’d squeal with delight. Or they’d roll around chasing each other on the carpet. Each time he saw that smile and delight on his daughter’s face, his Universe lit up and his stress was reduced to zero, because he knew that his daughter loved him unconditionally and that that smile was one of pure joy at seeing him. He’d then spend the next hour having dinner with the family, and playing with her until her bedtime, when he tucked her in and read her bedtime stories.

Takeaway Genuine unconditional love from someone who loves you purely for who you are is priceless.

Commentary Cherish the memories.

Insults Are The First Resort Of Fools

Hanifa was married to this ambitious man for a few years. Over time, she had two children and they seemed to be happy. The more successful the husband was however, the more he seemed to start resenting her. She had stayed at home, and although she had been to university, she had decided to ensure that the early years of their children were with her at home. She was still very much attractive, but had put on a bit of weight – not that much, but she was not slim either and could be called curvy, but not overweight. As time went on, whenever they had a difference of opinion on household matters, he’d start insulting her. As months ed, even close friends began to notice that he was dishing out insults to her now even in the company of their close friends. Those friends who cared for the both of them tried to tell him to knock it off. Hanifa herself eventually found that he was having an affair with a colleague at work. That ended the marriage because at the beginning she’d told him if he ever strayed, she was out the door.

Takeaway Those who are first to resort to the nuclear option of insults over minor differences are indeed fools.

Commentary Before nuclear war is declared, it is polite manners to try and negotiate a solution without resorting to insults which resolve nothing. Friedrich Nietzsche advised people to mistrust all in whom the impulse to punish is powerful.

Know Your Moment

Joanna went for an interview for a job she desperately wanted. It would increase her pay by twenty-five per cent, and enable her to move into a more upwardly mobile neighbourhood. So she prepared very hard, and the day of the interview eventually came. It was with one of the technological start up companies near Old Street Station in London. She felt very confident as she strode into the interview room. There was the director of product marketing, and the head of product development both sitting across from her at the table. The interview was going well, and the director was doing a lot of nodding. A good sign, she thought. Then he asked what she knew of their product. She proceeded to show that she knew everything there was to know about them. The director continued nodding all the while. Then she said, ‘I also noted that on your products you could have added some additional information to market it better, and get more high end customers.’ She explained further how they could have improved that. The director turned to the head of department, and asked, ‘Is that true? Can you check it out please?’ He turned back to her, and said, ‘Thank you for that. Do you have any questions for us?’

She asked her questions, and then ended on a high note, and left. She was not offered the job. Her friends said it was probably because she showed up the head of product development, and that was never a good thing to do in an interview. Best to do it after you are hired. Besides – why give them a free consultation on what they’re doing wrong?

Takeaway Sometimes well intentioned advice or comments are best left to a quiet moment when the reception of said advice will be better received.

Commentary Be aware of what you might be snatching from those vicious jaws – victory or defeat.

Things Left Unsaid

Sometimes in relationships, a person can think that they have found The One, the one true love that completes them and they believe that their love will last forever. However, the consistent thing about people is that most invariably change. With that change comes different perspectives in how they conduct the relationship. Then the problems start. For example, they insist that you and them must not disappoint Relative X and you must arrive on time at the restaurant, no matter what, because it’s their birthday. You protest and say things should never be set in stone and be so black or white, but they insist you must be on time. Then of course you acquiesce, but you know there shouldn’t be this pressure. You duly arrive at restaurant. Lo and behold, the relatives are not even there yet. So you sit around waiting with a pleasant smile, thinking that you were right all along. You also start thinking deeper than you’ve had to in this relationship so far. A red light flashes in your mind, and there’s a warning that this person will put more weight to what the relatives or anyone else says than to what you feel in the matter. Being human, your senses are put on automatic alert to pick up any future behaviours that sideline your feelings and opinions and instead focus on those of outsiders.

Takeaway Humans in relationships are only happy together if the way they change as time goes by is in synchrony.

Commentary You have to work hard at it to make sure that you change together at the same pace.

Advice Is Free

Zulu’s daughter had finished her university, graduated and was now looking for gainful employment. He advised her to focus on the job search until she succeeded. She, however, was more interested in going out and partying till the break of dawn. ‘You know, I don’t mind you partying and all of that, and of course you can stay with your mom and I till kingdom come, but you have to get serious about finding yourself a job,’ Zulu said to her one day. ‘There’s still time,’ she replied. ‘There’s never time in these matters,’ Zulu warned her. ‘You see, in the time you’re enjoying cocktails and all the dancing, someone else is working hard to make sure they land that dream job that you too have been trained for and want very much.’ He shook his head, and continued. ‘If I were you, I’d put in more effort into getting your foot on the first rung of the employment ladder. Once you’re on it, then you can enjoy your life.’ ‘But Dad…!’ ‘Let me ask you this, have you ever seen a sight where the cart was before the horse and the horse was pushing it?’ ‘No…..’ ‘I’d suggest you don’t either.’

Takeaway Advice is indeed free – it’s just up to you to take it, or leave it.

Commentary There is no such thing as a free lunch, but there is such a thing as free advice.

What’s A Friend?

Shirley, Ajay and Koni were discussing the topic of friendships in the tea room at work. ‘A friend is someone you’ve connected with on FACEBOOK,’ said Shirley. ‘We’re not talking virtual friends here, or that anonymous someone in your friends folder who always likes whatever you post on your page,’ Ajay chimed in. ‘To me a friend is someone I can go out with at weekends and we share things without thought,’ was Koni’s take. ‘Yes, and also someone who can drop whatever they are doing and fly half a continent to be with me if I am in real need,’ Ajay sided with Koni ‘Are we talking about fiends with benefits?’ Shirley said with a mischievous smile. ‘No!’ both men said at the same time. ‘Someone who has a deep emotional connection with you. When you are with them you feel like the world is all right. That tomorrow will be a brighter day. That, my friends is the best definition,’ Koni said as they left the tea room.

Takeaway A true friend is someone who helps you out any time you ask, and they don’t ask anything in return of you.

Commentary

The caveat being that you don’t take advantage of their friendship with you.

Don’t Pull Your Punches

The warthog came down to the watering hole one hot day, just before the rainy season. He found Elephant on the dry river bed. He was slowly digging to make the water well wider and deeper for everyone else. He was down on his front legs, using his tusks to dig. His big ears were flapping to keep himself cool. ‘Hi, Elephant. How’s it going?’ ‘Slow. The heat takes it out of you.’ ‘Sure does.’ He continued observing Elephant’s slow progress. ‘You don’t really know how to dig do you?’ he said eventually. ‘Warthog, if you’re better than me, I’ll stand aside,’ elephant said politely. ‘Umm, that’s OK. On second thoughts, I think you’re doing just fine. I’ll catch you later, I need to get to my burrow for a siesta.’ With that he strutted off. ‘Lazy so and so! I should have stomped on him with my leg,’ muttered the elephant.

Takeaway Sometimes when you pull your punches, others think that you are a pushover.

Commentary When you are stronger than you look, or more assertive than your polite nature suggests, sometimes pulling your punches is kinder.

Leadership

The key animals in Big Valley were gathered to select a Chairperson for the Water Preservation Committee. First up for consideration was Leopard. ‘I don’t like the way he is solitary. He can’t bond with other committee , creeps out the smaller animals, and he prefers to work mostly at night.’ Leopard got 3/10 votes. Next up was Warthog. ‘Well, he’s feisty but his attention span is not all that great. He also spends too much time wallowing in mud.’ Warthog got 5/10 votes. Then it was Elephant’s turn to be considered. ‘It’s difficult speaking with him, because his ears are so high. I have to repeat myself each time I speak with him. But he influences people positively.’ Elephant got 7/10 votes. Then came Hare. ‘She’s hyperactive, never stops long enough for us to hold an important discussion. Every so often she has to scurry off to eat something, which can be tiresome.’ Hare got 3/10 votes. And then Lion. ‘He can’t control his temper, and thinks that he should be King of Everything. Don’t sneak up on him or you’ll get slapped in the face by the way. He rules by the stare of his golden eyes, which intimidates some of us.’ Lion got 6/10 votes. Then came Rhino. ‘Now Rhino is very placid, and never loses his temper unless you really rile him.

He can handle anyone he needs to in the Valley, and also speaks softly when you’re speaking to him, not as loud as lion.’ Rhino got 8/10 votes, and was voted in as Chair. They were all agreed that Rhino would create confidence in the committee leadership as he had the stature, credibility and the temperament to ask questions, correct mistakes and make working in the committee interesting.

Takeaway Now and then expect to be thrown into a leadership position for which you think you’re not prepared. Step up to the plate, and trust your instincts - and refer to Russell H. Ewing’s definition of a boss and leader for guidance.

Commentary People look to leaders to fit roles depending on the context and situation. So choice is important, because once you’ve hammered in a square peg in a round hole, it’s difficult to get it out easily.

Talking About Delivery Dates

One week, an acerbic office manager called one of his team into his office to discuss a project. He himself was only told about it that very morning as soon as he walked into the office. Some senior manager had been sitting on this request from the Board of the company for a couple of weeks. The deadline was that Friday 5:00 pm, and a report had to be submitted to the Board at that time. The Board was meeting following week – so this had to be done on time. Why the director responsible had not acted on it sooner was a mystery. ‘Now I want you to do this project and finish it by this Friday at close of play, OK?’ he instructed, reeling off what had to be done, and the format required. The team member asked a few questions, and said he’d put it as a priority and went away. He was working hard on the project, but on the Wednesday morning, the manager saw him helping another colleague on another project. He called him into his office. ‘You can’t be wasting time doing anything but the project I gave you, is that clear?’ ‘It’s very clear,’ the project manager replied. ‘But just so you know. If you ask me to deliver a project, then it is my responsibility how I do it, so long as I deliver it to time and quality – Friday this week, 5:00 pm. Between the time you gave me the project to do and when I deliver it, I could go to the moon on a Monday and come back on Wednesday, and still finish it on time; or I could go to the South Pole and return, and still deliver it.

‘So until I fail, let me enjoy that delegated authority to deliver the project in my own way.’

Takeaway When you delegate delivery of a project or a task, be it at home or work, give the person a chance to deliver in peace.

Commentary Trust in those you delegate to helps both parties to work better, and achieve more.

A Fool And His Senses Are Like Drunken Lovers

People were transfixed watching YouTube videos of drunken couples fighting in public. It seemed like there was this instant entertainment from any corner of the globe showing people falling over drunk, and doing all sorts of stupid things. The advent of the digital camera, thanks to Kodak all those decades ago, meant that anyone and everyone on earth was now a Wizkid at photography, spanning the continuum from innocuous stuff to the red light district kind of stuff. Many of the clips would show the drunken quarrels in detail from start to finish. You’d see them get into fisticuffs, swinging, missing, falling down. Then watch as the other offered their hand to pull them up, they’d make up, and the two would stagger drunkenly off into the alleyway and out of camera shot. So with fools. They make mistakes, then they get advised on the right path to go. But, they will stray off that path and start with their tomfoolery again. Only the hardiest of their nearest and dearest persist in helping them, until these saints finally throw in the towel, and turn their backs, not wanting to carry on on the ‘I won’t do that again’ rollercoaster.

Takeaway Never get into a shouting match with fools, because no observer will know which of you the fool is. Just walk away.

Commentary We’ve all been fools, or played the fool, at one time or another in our lives – it’s just what we learnt from those experiences, and that makes the difference.

Respect Yourself First, And The World Will Too

The man always had a problem motivating himself every time he had a big project. A voice in his head (Left Spin, LS) would tell him that he could achieve what he was thinking about. But another voice (Right Spin, RS) would interject, and start saying that he had more than enough time to delay the start of the work. That he could watch Law and Order or whatever he wanted, and still have time to finish what he had to do. Because that was the path of least resistance, more times than not, the person would end up procrastinating. Procrastination feels good, because we are not facing up to the hard drudge that we need to do to earn our money, or feel even better and respect yourself more. However, all these delays are cumulative. Sometimes it’s so severe people suddenly wake up to what’s been happening, and suddenly realise they’ve wasted years of their lives.

Takeaway Respect for yourself is heavily dependent on how you yourself, face yourself mano a mano in the dead of night and it to yourself what you have actually achieved, or not achieved. If you really have achieved what you set out to do, your smile will show your inner self respect.

Commentary

When push comes to shove, some people don’t just con others. They also con themselves.

Grandstanding

A young lady was walking down a road which was on a rather steep hill. She was walking on the pavement when she spied three men coming uphill in the opposite direction. Decades old pavements being what they are, they were uneven in parts with moss here and there in some gaps. She decided to look straight ahead, and slightly to the left, to avoid eye . A short time later just as she ed the men, the toe of her shoe hit a little raised pavement slab…. She went flying in a heap, landing on her knees. ‘Are you all right?’ one of the men asked her as she knelt on the pavement. She said she was fine, maybe she had grazed her knees. The men carried on uphill. She berated herself as she slowly hobbled down the hill. ‘I should have been watching where I put my steps, instead of looking at the trees so as to look aloof,’ she lamented to herself.

Takeaway Trying to fit yourself into other people’s view of you is a fool’s errand.

Commentary

Your priority is not how others see you, but your safety first, and whether you are comfortable where you are and with who you are.

If They Are Vulnerable, Teach, Teach, And Teach Them Again Endlessly

Bramley had a twelve year old son. The son was just about to enter his teenager years, and hormones were sluicing around in his system like detergent in a washing machine. He’d refuse to do his homework, and throw temper tantrums. Bramley would just take him to one side and talk to him quietly, and explain to him that he had to let go of his temper, and listen to what his dad was saying to him. Over the next few years, his son’s temper seemed to grow worse, but whenever that happened, Bramley would do the same thing – sit his son down alone and tell him to let go of the anger, and just focus on behaviours and issues. Bramley explained that he too had had a bad temper when he was growing up at that same time of his life. He told his son that through bitter experience, he had learnt to be very neutral, and focus on things that he could control, and now he rarely, if ever, lost his temper. As the son neared the end of his teenage years, there was a difference, and he was calmer when dealing with any problems he faced.

Takeaway When it comes to children or those close to you, it’s worth the extra effort to keep repeatedly pointing to the right path instead of giving up.

Commentary

Sometimes those helped don’t know any better due to biology or ignorance, and if you want them saved, you have to put in the effort. To quote Eppie Lederer: If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

You Don’t Owe Us Anything – But Gratitude Would be Nice

Innumerable times the elephants saved the grazers from the rogue lions from outside Big Valley. There was the time when Croc got a bit naughty and ambushed an antelope at the waters edge, right under the noses of the drinking elephants. The elephants had all looked at him with stern eyes, and Croc had sheepishly released the baby antelope pretty pronto. Then there was the time Leopard was chasing the baby warthogs, with their mother in hot pursuit of him. The baby warthogs had made a beeline for the shade under Bull Elephant’s belly – which brought Leopard to the quickest turn on a dime he’d ever made. Then there was the time that a lone buffalo was set upon by the rogue lions from the next valley. The elephants had all charged and chased them off. In all of these cases, all the animals simply made haste to be elsewhere, and the only thing they did was to cast eyes wide with horror at the elephant before bolting. So it was that at the next meeting of all the animals in Big Valley the Bull Elephant stood up and spoke. ‘We don’t mind saving some of you from various dangers. You don’t owe us anything, we’re just being neighbourly. But it would be nice if you could at least say thank you, which won’t cost you anything but the air you breathe out.’

Takeaway Many people do acts of kindness without expecting anything in return, but do

expect a simple thank you as polite acknowledgement.

Commentary Even the most altruistic altruist will eventually throw in the towel if recipients of good deeds do not have the manners to say thank you.

The Empath In Her

Shirley seemed to be blessed with the ability to understand everyone around her. Everyone found her to be someone they could share their problems with – she was a good listener. She could spot what the issues were in the problems that friends and colleagues confided in her, and give them good advice, acting as a critical friend. She could strike up the appropriate conversation with whomever she met on the street, anywhere. As an empath, she was excellent at matrix management and could get disparate groups to meld together and focus on one common aim. Senior management knew she was someone who was a good person manager, and knew how to resolve problems and issues, and could motivate people to do better and achiever greater. Unfortunately, because she was easy going and not one to throw her weight around, they said she came across as soft. But soft she was not.

Takeaway Empaths are the natural relief valves in communities.

Commentary Vulcan mind meld masters they are not, but being an empath works a treat if handled properly.

When Modesty Don’t Count For Jack

So there they all were, eagerly waiting their end of year exams before they broke up for the summer holidays. They had sat exams in eight subjects – the usual English, Mathematics, Science, Geography History etc. etc.. They got their test scores over the week as each subject teacher told them the results of their test. Their little eighth grade faces would be agog with anticipation at the end of those lessons when they knew they’d get their marks. At break they’d all be comparing what marks they got, and totalling them up to see who had the highest overall mark in class – the most coveted mark. Because they were in the A stream of that year, the best of the best, then whoever got the most marks would claim the school attainment prize. Finally on the Wednesday of the last week before they broke up, the final marks across all eight subjects were announced. Banké had 757, Parmar had 759 out of a total of 800. Then the papers were handed out with the marks on them. Banké, being Banké, spotted that on her geography marks she’d actually got 80% after she added up all the marks in red - but had been given 75% as a final mark. Modest, but forward with it, she went to the geography teacher and pointed out the error. The total marks were duly added up for her, and there it was. Her hard work had been rewarded, and she indeed got the attainment prize.

Takeaway When your future depends on it, you shouldn’t hold yourself back because of self imposed values of modesty or shyness.

Commentary Here’s the thing – you have to learn to be quietly assertive from the day you’re born. Situations when you need to be on point can be fleeting, and require an instant response before the opportunity vanishes.

Success Is Intelligent Sustained Effort

A man had a dream. In that dream, this amorphous cloud visited him as he slept. ‘Who are you?’ he asked it. ‘I am success,’ the cloud said. ‘But you don’t seem to have any definition,’ he said. ‘That’s because success is defined by what you want me to be.’ ‘How can that be?’ he asked. ‘Simple. Each person has their own version of what success looks like, depending on what it is they are doing at that particular time.’ ‘Surely success should be universally accepted, be as uniform as the speed of light?’ the man asked, puzzled. ‘No, each person on Earth defines success their own way. You, for example, may address a meeting or television interview and come out thinking you did well – but in reality that success is only in your heard, and the world outside of that think you bombed.’ ‘So, no. Success is different things to different people. That’s why at work you have levelling boards that seek to ensure that the definition of success in a job is applied as equally as possible across all workers.’ ‘So you are different things to different people – but how would you want someone to define success for themselves?’ ‘The key to success, my friend, is intelligent sustained effort that ensures that the individual achieved what they were aiming for.’

Takeaway Key to success? Plan thoroughly, Execute flexibly, Achieve a crisp conclusion.

Commentary Note however, that to some nefarious people, to fail is to succeed. And others copy to succeed. Whatever, if it works (legally) – try it.

Let It Go – Just Get Home Safely

A few years ago, Koni was travelling on the London Underground on the Northern Line. It was the evening rush hour, and the tube carriages were crowded. ‘Even sardines have more room,’ Koni had thought. Suddenly, there was a commotion right in front of Koni. This gang of three young men were shining laser pointers into people’s faces. One particular man took severe umbrage at this, and was working up to tell the gang, ‘Let’s take this outside’ kind of thing. Koni didn’t look at the aggressors, but went up to the man and held him by his right bicep and brought his face close to the man’s ear and asked him quietly, ‘Do you have kids?’ ‘Yes,’ the man replied in an angry voice. You could see that the gang had for sure got under his skin something awful. Koni then quietly said, ‘I know it’s absolutely frustrating, but your priority today is to turn your back on those people, and just think of reaching your home safely so that you can play with your kids. ‘So ignore them, they’re scum. Everyone in this carriage can see that. You are the bigger and better man.’ Thankfully, the man took his advice.

Takeaway

Unless you’re in one of the US Navy SEAL, British SAS or Russian Spetsnaz teams, it’s not a good idea to take on three guys in a crowded tube train.

Commentary Your family is your priority, if not your own safety. So just walk away – discretion is the better part of valour.

After The Foundation Is Gone

Men and women all over the world have been in these situations since time immemorial. At home, the bloom of love has long faded into the brown of a desiccated land from where the nourishing rains of love have long since departed. At work, that enthusiasm one had for the job has long since disappeared into the hazy distance of the past like …. the Ford Cortina. What is one to do when the foundation on which one builds one’s family at home slowly disappears like a sandcastle on the seashore when the tide comes in? People talk about the seven year itch (and coincidentally, the Eiffel Tower in the city of romance is meant to be painted about once every seven years too on average) – but is that really true? (For jobs, it’s probably a two year itch). Whatever it is, all that this shows is that without continuous effort from both sides, relationships will not last. We only have to look at our own cars. Without proper maintenance, our cars will fall apart eventually and cease to provide us with the pleasure of door-to-door travel in the comfort of our own individual space.

Takeaway There is no such thing as a free lunch in relationships for either party. At work, it all depends on you - if there’s a level playing field.

Commentary Dig deep foundations too – they last longer.

When You Are Weakest Externally, Be Strongest Internally

There was once a man working in a very big multinational company. Unfortunately, at one point, he was the victim of identity theft and the thieves cleaned several thousand pounds from his bank . With a new baby and a wife to , he was in dire straits. Everyone in the office knew what was going, on and they did their best to help him. But whenever colleagues saw him, he was absolutely as calm as a cat, and as cool as a cucumber. He never showed any signs of stress, and his wife and child could attest to the fact that he never took out his stress on anyone at home. When asked about it, he’d say that it was important not to show your enemies your deepest fears. Otherwise, if they found out that you were afraid, they’d turn those fears around and attack you. His sang-froid was the talk of the office long after his case was resolved in his favour, and he got his money back.

Takeaway A classic case of keeping your cards close to your chest at all times.

Commentary

Sometimes you have to realise that it’s beyond your control, and expressions of anger or sorrow won’t solve anything – so stay cool.

Chimoto’s Equation of Opportunity

It’s interesting to read about all sorts of insidious practices when it comes to applying for jobs. Apparently, if you have the wrong surname, but all the qualifications, you might not even get to interview stage. Tongue in cheek, and proposing that there is a simple equation when people try and look for jobs in certain countries, Chimoto espoused that:

Probability of Interview Success = function of (S; Q; C; M; A)

Scarcity S: if there’s only one doctor in town, no matter what his/her colour, you will go and see them if you are seriously ill. (Does not apply to those who prefer death above being cured). Qualification Q: if you are a doctor, and all other applicants are snake oil salesmen, and a doctor is required – it’s a no brainer Continent C: a.k.a. as ancestral origin (as at Anno Domini Year 0): if there is no scarcity, and all are similarly (maybe not equally) qualified, then prejudices start to outweigh corporate needs. Equally true, some ethnic minorities, if they are the ones in charge of recruiting, in some cases may have reverse bias and favour their own. Media M: what negative stories in the media have impacted the recruiting person individually, or their family, or their social circle Attitude A: the individual’s attitude and visible soft skills at the interview.

Chimoto then said there were numerous other variables to look at, but these were the base ones – but it was just his back-of-a-fag-packet thesis.

Takeaway One of the most insidious things that denies the excluded the chance and opportunity to enjoy the rewards that their ability as human beings deserves.

Commentary Yes, when in Rome you should do as the Romans do. However, said Romans - if worth their salt - should in theory be able to take on any newcomers, confident that they are better without underhanded tricks. Ergo, ‘If they hide behind invisible prejudice, they cannot claim to be the best’ (Chimoto’s Level Playing Field Addendum).

Questioning Genuine Love

In the Western world, is there really a genuine institution called marriage? Or is the whole marriage thing becoming like Christmas – a manufactured convenience? Marriage in the traditional sense was meant to keep families and villages together to ensure continuity, and keeping traditional work cultures going. The West has evolved to the extent that one questions the utility of marriage – is it to rear children together, companionship, economic convenience? But then statistics say that upwards of 75% of women will initiate a divorce or breakup with their partners. If that is so, what’s the point of the two of you bringing a child into the world, when there’s a 75% chance or more the child is highly likely to end up in a single parent household in the following years? The statistics then automatically spew out terrifying numbers as to the fate of children under a single parent’s tutelage.

Takeaway For sure, the children don’t ask to be born into these circumstances. But they have no say ultimately, and are powerless.

Commentary If we know that humans are complex creatures, can we one day balance the forces of individuality versus the forces working for the advantage of the family,

the many?

Antlion’s Strategy

The mouse was busy foraging in the bush whereupon it came across a small conical pit in the sand. Curious, it hollered to see if someone was around and indulging in their artistic fantasies, as in it thought that someone was doing the animal version of crop circles. A voice then came up from the bottom of the pit, and a pair of fearsome looking jaws protruded from the bottom. ‘Yeah, this here pit is occupied, so be so polite as to take a hike,’ the voice said. ‘I was just curious – well, what are you doing down there?’ ‘Waiting for my dinner.’ ‘Who’s going to deliver your dinner to you – the sandman?’ the mouse couldn’t help chuckling. ‘Ha, ha. Very funny – I’ll have you know that my lunch walks to me of it’s own free will.’ ‘Seriously?’ the mouse looked around and saw no living creature in sight. ‘Looks to me like you will starve down there.’ ‘Will never happen. You see, my lunch has no clue I’m here – just like you didn’t a few moments ago.’ Just then, an ant wondered towards the pit. The mouse looked on, fascinated. For whatever reason, the ant went up to the pit and stumbled over the edge, quickly sliding down to the bottom. It tried to walk up the sides, but they were made of tiny sand particles and it couldn’t get a grip.

In the meanwhile, the antlion was flicking more sand towards the ant. The ant slid to the bottom for the umpteenth time, and unfortunately for it, this time the jaws clamped on its belly and it was dragged down to its doom.

Takeaway Patience can be a matter of life and death, or a choice between poverty or becoming rich beyond the dreams of avarice.

Commentary Different strokes for different folks and different creatures.

Punished With The Herd

Kaposa’s daughter came home from school one day absolutely fuming. She had been meant to come home for lunch that day, but hadn’t turned up. But her mother hadn’t been worried, as they lived a short distance from school. ‘So what happened?’ the mother asked. ‘Well, we were all in class, and when our new French teacher came in, the big boys at the back of the class started misbehaving.’ ‘Well, they always do that, don’t they?’ ‘Yes, unfortunately they do. But the mistake they made was to do it in the lesson just before lunch break.’ ‘Oh?’ ‘That meant that the teacher refused to release us until whoever had thrown a piece of paper at the blackboard confessed.’ She paused for effect. ‘No one confessed!’ she cried. ‘So we had to spend our lunch hour doing work in the classroom, under Miss’s steely gaze. Boy, was I mad!’ ‘That wasn’t fair on those who were not guilty,’ her mother said. ‘Actually, that’s the thing. As detention finished and the other pupils were filing out, Miss called me over and told me that she was sorry I had been detained too, but she couldn’t make exceptions in public.’

Takeaway

When you are in the same group as flea bitten curs, expect that every now and then you too will be hauled with them to the pet fumigation station.

Commentary Sometimes, there’s just nothing you can do but ride out the storm.

Forgiving

Lisa and Nitin were having a chat one Thursday afternoon over lunch. ‘My boyfriend left me last week,’ she said, sipping her latte. ‘I’m sorry,’ Nitin said. ‘Don’t be,’ Lisa said. ‘The credit card bill came in yesterday, and the day he left he spent £300 of my money. I called him and asked for it, and he said he didn’t have any money.’ ‘So what did you do?’ ‘I told him to forget it.’ ‘You’re very kind.’ ‘He actually rang the next day and apologised and asked for forgiveness.’ ‘What did you say to him?’ ‘Well, I couldn’t very well ask him for my money as I knew he was skint. So I forgave him. I preferred that to months of chasing him around, and having screaming matches.’ ‘You’re very good. I don’t think I can forgive someone who did that to me deliberately.’ ‘Isn’t that hard?’ ‘Not really. If that person is happy swindling me, then I’ll be equally happy not to forgive them.’

Takeaway

Forgiveness depends on the context and the temperaments of those involved.

Commentary Sometimes the best thing is just to be indifferent, and walk away.

The Fulcrum Of Peace Anywhere Is Fairness

There was a heated discussion at the town hall the other day. The citizens of the county were up in arms because the taxes were being raised again. They asked for an explanation as to why this was so. The chairman of the finance committee stood up to explain. He said that they had to repair the mayor’s residence’s greenhouse that had unfortunately been vandalised by some unseen miscreants. Comments and objections came back thick and fast: ‘Why on earth is that a priority to tax us for?’ ‘Can’t he just do his gardening in the summer anyway?’ ‘Last time I checked, there were more important things to do than spend our money on frivolous items that are not that urgent.’ ‘What ing that money to give extra this winter to families that are struggling to feed their children?’ ‘And the mayor hardly uses it anyway. Imagine having to use our money to maintain something year in and year out that we really don’t need!’ ‘All right then. We will change that and introduce a bill to use that portion of the budget to help the homeless and families in need,’ said the chairman of the finance committee. There was no objection to the amendment. ‘The other major item we have is repairing, and then maintaining the broken down bridge in the middle of town. Since it got damaged and traffic had to

detour six kilometre to get to the same place, businesses have suffered. Any objections?’ ‘No, that’s going to be good for the whole community.’ No objections were raised.

Takeaway As long as it’s fair, or negotiated fairly, harmony rules.

Commentary There’s always someone trying to swindle everyone else, one way or another – and that’s when problems begin. Then there’ll be someone trying to sell you a MiG 29 Fulcrum or two.

Treating You As An Object

The man and his girlfriend had been together for four years at this point, when her mother decided to come and visit with her sister, the girlfriend’s aunt. The two sisters were going to stay at a third sister’s house in the same neighbourhood. So, after picking them up from the airport, the man and girlfriend drove to the house. As soon as they arrived, the two sisters alighted, as did the girlfriend. The man had been the one driving, and of course, minding his manners, he went to the boot to unload the luggage. There, the girlfriend just said to him to bring up the luggage to the house, and immediately went off to her mother and aunts. She never offered to help, nor did she thank him for helping at all – and her mother and aunt were still within earshot. To him, showing appreciation to those who helped you was one of the things that were etched in his mind as fundamental. So anyone who did not practice this art of decency was acting out of bounds.

Takeaway It’s simple, and it’s cost free – that simple ‘Thank you.’

Commentary Many make the mistake of treating others as objects that are there to serve their

needs, forgetting that humans, being humans, can just up sticks and be gone in the blink of an eye.

Creativity Has Its Blues

A teacher was holding a senior class, and his topic of the day was creativity. ‘For Man,’ he begun, ‘creativity….’ ‘Sir, do you mean for men and women?’ piped up one of the girls. ‘This is not a woke class, Miss, I mean that in the traditional sense. As in HuMANkind,’ he replied, emphasising the man in the word. ‘As I was saying, creativity for Man is a gift that keeps giving because of all the things we now take for granted and use day in and day out.’ ‘Like …for example,’ a student slouching in his chair asked. ‘Well, if you take off those wireless earphones – what are they AirPods? BEATS? Never mind, but you can see you can’t live without these gadgets, which all came out of someone else’s creativity. ‘However, creativity is not like a tap you can turn on or off. ‘It’s sometimes an excruciating process. ‘Imagine if you have travelled hundreds of miles, and you arrive at your destination. However, your destination lies across the mouth of a wide river, and the bridge has been washed away in a recent flood you knew nothing about. ‘So there you are, you are nearly there. You can see your destination across the river – but you can’t just reach it yet. ‘So either you come up with another way to cross the river – like a hot air balloon, for example – or you have to invest in travelling some more miles up the river to where you can cross, then double back on the right side of the river and reach your destination. ‘In all of this, for that particular creation, you have to be focused to see it to the

end. ‘Many people, faced with that last hurdle, the collapsed bridge, might elect to give up because they may feel they can’t do it, and be sad about it. ‘It’s the persistent ones that win out in the end.’

Takeaway Creativity without persistence is just another crumpled note in the wastepaper basket.

Commentary Knowing that your ups and downs are a given should give the creative person the inner faith to carry on, because everybody goes through that cycle.

Choices

A man was walking along by Hadrian’s Wall in the North of England near Upper Denton when he slipped and fell. The curious thing was, as recounted by him later, at the beginning of his fall, he was actually asking himself which hand to use to break his fall. In that moment, he was thinking so fast that he actually had the time to decide which side to fall on, and which of his two hands to put out and use in order to safely cushion his fall. One of his audience then stated that the only animal they knew that could do something like that, and be deciding at leisure which way to land whilst in midair or mid-fall, was any member of the cat family. Because no matter which way they fell, they always righted themselves before landing on all four feet. That brought up a general debate. They all agreed that choices and decisions need to be made in a considered way if possible no matter what the circumstances, but made at pace, at speed, and decisively to suit the situation. For example, we all know that if students were given all the time in the world to do their homework assignment, they would all get maximum points – even if they handed the assignments in after the tutor was long dead, and they themselves were grandparents.

Takeaway Consideration of options, timing, and decisiveness in the moment are key to making decisions.

Commentary Going in without at least some rudimentary knowledge of what your choices are will negate the above.

Safe Shortcuts

Sandra was a brilliant woman. She went to university and then onto medical school and specialised in neurosurgery. In her last year, she was in the top five of her class and would have graduated and easily found a job anywhere. But then, after graduation she and her boyfriend discovered that she was pregnant. They had already been engaged for a year, and so she decided to forego the job offers she already had, and concentrate on raising the child. Five years later, a friend from University bumped into her. She had had another child, by then after she and her boyfriend had got married four years before. Sandra looked happy and radiant, much to the envy of her friend who was on the career treill. She had only jumped off the dating carousel herself three years before. ‘So why did you decide to have the babies first?’ the friend had to ask. ‘Well, you know how it is in the modern world – parents are too busy working, they farm out their kids to nurseries and then employ a nanny to take them to school and pick them up….’ ‘Just like I’m doing!’ ‘But then for me it was that feeling that I had to be there for my kids. Had to be there to show them real nature by walking in the forest together whilst they were still young so that they could the smell of damp earth, the small of wild flowers, the singing of different birds, the smell of pine…. Memories they’d keep for decades, all associated with togetherness and family.’

‘I can understand that – you have to have the time to do that though.’ ‘Yes, and that’s why I did what I did. My husband, it must be said, earns enough for us to do that – so maybe it’s not an option for everyone.’ ‘You’re right.’ ‘Most of all, this allows me to teach my children shortcuts to life that otherwise I would never be able to do.’

Takeaway The American Dream was always about the next generation doing better than the last – so it is with shortcuts parents teach their children: it’s about making it easier for them to do better than the parent.

Commentary If you’re got your children’s best interests at heart, this just comes naturally.

Alone Does Not Mean Isolated

Stewart was always seen around by himself in the neighbourhood. Many people assumed that he was a loner. That turned out to be far from the truth. It appeared that he was just too busy to visit his relatives and assorted friends all over the country, and all over the world. He seemed to be just a lazy person who most of the time preferred to be thinking of the next big breakthrough in the internet arena. When he was really out and about he was very personable, and made friends easily all over the place. He was also a man who was always eager to help those who were in need, and did a lot of volunteer work. This was evidenced when he held his fortieth birthday bash and hired the ballroom at a local hotel. He easily mustered over a hundred guests including friends and family, and paid for the whole thing himself as a treat.

Takeaway Keep in with your friends, however infrequently.

Commentary There is no need to be alone. Your friends are the ones who will bury you, and celebrate your life and times.

News Askew

‘CHANNEL X HAEMORRHAGING VIEWERS!’ the headline said on the front page of the free newspaper. ‘Too right,’ the man thought to himself. Television channels seemed to operate in a different world. A common man could look at the facts as presented from various sources and come to one conclusion, and yet when watching the news he’d be told a different conclusion from the same set of facts. As a reasonably well educated man it was becoming increasingly impossible for him to sit through any news broadcast without switching channels because he would develop a visceral repulsion to the way the facts would be twisted, or omitted, to fit a certain point of view. He wondered what had happened to the five core principles of ethical journalism:

1. Truth and Accuracy 2. Independence 3. Fairness and Impartiality 4. Humanity and 5. ability.

He felt that a fair number of readers and viewers thought that these principles had been thrown out of the window willingly by the vast majority of media

players. It was a sad state of affairs, because there was no way one could debate healthily alone, against oneself, before the men and women in white jackets came and carted one off. Increasingly he, like others, had turned to alternative clips of news on the internet to satisfy their thirst for an unbiased feed of news. He shrugged his shoulders – he was just resigned to the new reality.

Takeaway The fragmentation of the market for news has logically led to myriad sources of news and other content. Market forces point to that inevitability.

Commentary People just beg to be treated as responsible adults who can make up their own minds about what they read. Projecting the fears of the few onto the many without proof has the whiff of control and dictatorship about it. We are all different whilst being the same, so figure out how to be inclusive yet exclusive.

Reward Yourself For Achieving

It is said that to be fiscally prudent, one should pay oneself first and foremost before you start paying off your other bills owed to people whose services you have used. A lady took that further and was telling her friends that one of the best things to do to motivate yourself when you were your own boss was to treat yourself whenever you achieved anything. Anything. Of course, making sure that the scale of the reward was within the boundaries you set yourself to actually make a profit and grow your company. Her friend agreed with her, pointing out that she herself had employed just such a reward system when she was studying at University. At the beginning of each term, she’d make a list of all the things she’d treat herself to if she successfully achieved the goals she needed to be at the top of the class in all her subjects. She said this worked particularly well as it kept her mind focused on the rewards, and allowed all those dreary hours of work to quickly, because the rewards were always on a list in front of her as she studied, and became ingrained in her mind as well. In the dark depths of the night when her spirit was flagging, she’d visualise herself enjoying her rewards, and then she’d invariably get a second wind.

Takeaway If you work hard, reward yourself in abundance.

Commentary Sometimes the one who is putting in all the effort and toiling hard, burning the midnight oil, least thinks of rewarding themselves. It is prudent to have a relief valve incorporated.

It’s Not Me Actually, It’s You

Geena was commenting on how often people said ‘You’re the problem!’ after minor disagreements. No one seemed to be able to escape this one. In love, Geena said, that kind of manifested itself in reverse as, ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Those dreaded words which when heard by the other half of the couple means the end is nigh. On the love side, it’s mostly said by the person who wants to leave the relationship for whatever reason. Another (or variants thereof) was ‘I love you, but I’m not in love with you…,’ In other instances, it occurs when someone has clearly reversed into you and pranged the front of your car: ‘You hit me!’ In the latter example, it’s of course to shift the blame onto the innocent party and escape a hefty hike in insurance. In the discussion, Geena and friends pointed out that these were situations where the party being so informed could legitimately say in response: ‘I’m not the problem. It’s you.’ Or, ‘I haven’t got a problem. You have.’ One of the friends, Tamara, observed that it was always important to try and hand the monkey back to the initiating party so that if there was any feeling of guilt, it wasn’t you who was left for months afterwards thinking and asking, ‘What hit me?’

Takeaway Some people are so shameless that their default position is that you, and not them, are to blame.

Commentary Develop antibodies to this mind set, because that condition is all too common.

ire. Worship. But Don’t Blindly Follow

In Big Valley, one Leopard became quite a hero. Some of the rogue wild eyed wild dogs from a neighbouring valley had snuck into Big Valley and laid siege to a flock of wild sheep on the slopes of the foothills, terrorising them till they were ready to drop dead with fright. Then along came Leopard, sauntering in a leisurely way, as he usually did. He had heard the yelping of the dogs and had come to investigate. As soon as the wild dog bunch saw him, they hightailed it out of the valley, never bothering to stop as their cover had been blown. The sheep thanked the leopard profusely for saving them from a certain death, ripped to pieces and eaten alive. The very thought of that made some of them feel decidedly faint. From that day onwards, the sheep followed Leopard wherever he went. One day, they were all following Leopard on the bed of the river. The rains had started a few days before, and so the river was still very low – however, the previous night, there had been very heavy rainfall in the hills upriver. They were near an old tree whose trunk was at least the size of a grown rhinoceros’ chest, when they heard a low rumble. Leopard stopped to listen, as did the sheep - looking at each other in consternation. Suddenly, round the river bend, rushing towards them at the speed of a charging buffalo, came this torrent of churning brown water at least a metre high. Leopard’s reflexes kicked in by instinct, and he was up the tree and on the highest branch before the sheep could blink.

Sadly, they stood rooted to the spot in shock with nowhere to run, since they couldn’t climb trees The torrent of fast flowing water swept them all to their doom.

Takeaway Sometimes people follow their heroes to disaster unthinkingly.

Commentary You should just learn the best from those that you worship, and continue travelling along your own path, taking advantage of what you have learnt.

The Good Friend

Last week, Barry turned up at the boys’ monthly get together shaking his head. ‘What’s up?’ Ansari asked him after they all had drinks in their hands. ‘You know that my wife is very good friends with Beverley?’ ‘Yes – you already told us lots of times that you went to school with Beverley from the time you two were wearing nappies right up until you finished your ‘A’ Levels.’ ‘And also that your families were so close that she was practically a member of your family,’ Yusuf added. ‘That’s right.’ ‘Soooooo …. What the hell is bugging you?’ asked Niko. ‘Well, last week Friday, I was out and about in the City whereupon I spied Ronnie, Beverley’s husband in the distance. ‘I was walking towards where he was, when out of a shop came this – shall we say, well put together – woman, and they proceeded to kiss, and walk slowly away. All the while exhibiting outrageous PDAs.’ ‘What did you do?’ ‘Nothing, I was so in shock.’ He took a long sip from his glass of beer. ‘So later that day I rang Beverley to set up a meeting at a coffee shop – just the two of us – for the following day. I then told my wife when I got home, and she too was in shock, but said she never trusted the son of a gun anyway, but would leave it to me to speak with Beverley.’

Another long sip. ‘So I met Beverley yesterday. I pussyfooted around the issue a little, and then told her that as I saw her as a sister, I had to tell her what I saw. Which I did.’ ‘And…..?’ they all waited with baited breadth. ‘Well, she started accusing me of interfering in her marriage, and that I was jealous of her husband because I had always fancied her. That this was my way of trying to ruin her marriage. She then got her coat and stormed out, vowing to never speak with me or my wife ever again.’ ‘Damn!’ the others exclaimed in unison.

Takeaway If someone wants to wear blinkers even if they don’t need to, you don’t have to help them cross the road.

Commentary Kind acts have a habit of backfiring, especially when matters of the hearts are concerned.

Don’t Field A Mule In A Thoroughbred Horse Race

It was a puzzle to Viola. At work, she had met this guy who worked in one of the company’s subsidiaries, and they had hit it off very quickly. Pretty soon they agreed to go on a date. She spent almost the whole afternoon preparing for the date on that Saturday, again and again asking friends over the phone what they thought would be the best outfit to wear. So by the time she left, she’d been dressed by committee – the committee of all her friends, and her mother. She felt good though. She was about five minutes early at the trendy restaurant and waited. He came in bang on time, but was casually dressed, and it was apparent he hadn’t put in all that much effort in his appearance. Her attraction to him begun to slowly ebb, and over the next hour and a half of their meal she enjoyed herself, but his card was marked as she felt that he could at least have tried to impress her. She was a fussy person, and was always smartly dressed even in casual clothes. Needless to say, there was no second date.

Takeaway When there’s something worth winning, don’t bring a mule to a horse race.

Commentary If you miss the bus because you were iring your navel in bed, second chances are unlikely to roll by you anytime soon.

Think For The Other Person

There’s something that all people who’ve been parents do for their children. When the child is born, it is helpless, and needs someone to attend to its every need in order to survive and grow. As a child under twelve, the same applies to a lesser degree. When they are teenagers, children suddenly seem to want nothing to do with Mom or Dad as the independence bug kicks in full throttle. But you still have to do that special thing. Even as young adults up to when they exit University, you should still do it. That ‘it’ is thinking for your children. It’s something we do instinctively in their early years, but it becomes rarer and rarer as they grow up. We should all do it for each other at all times as well, because it prevents those under stress or duress from forgetting key things that are important. For example a friend who always reminds you to tell delivery companies not to leave your home deliveries on your porch in full view of porch pirates. Or that friend who mentions to you that you could get a cheap deal on some exotic holiday you’ve always wanted – all done without prompting. All are examples of thinking for your friends and family – and hoping that they too do the same for you. That way, nothing falls through the cracks, and you all benefit together.

Takeaway Nothing is better than knowing that your circle of friends and family think for you, and you’re really covered, and not just by lip service.

Commentary Works well, especially if you all don’t have chips on your shoulders.

Limitless Energy

The year was 2077. In the last decade and a half prior to that, extraordinary things had happened. Fusion energy had finally been proven to work commercially, and in the last two years, fusion reactors had been built across all of the continents – including Antarctica. The energy was so cheap that all Governments on Earth gave away free electricity to their citizens. Electric cars were now the norm, and fossil fuel cars were illegal in most countries due to free fusion energy being available everywhere. This energy was used for industrial scale desalination plants the world over, which then banished drought and famine for the first time in human history. Nascent water wars were nipped in the bud. Massive carbon dioxide extraction plants opened up and worked efficiently 24/7 using this clean, hydrogen powered energy. Such was their efficiency that carbon dioxide levels began to decrease world-wide. With unlimited energy on tap, research scientists found new areas to focus on. The European Large Hadron Collider was superseded by an even more massive one twice as big as scientists looked for dark matter in earnest. Groups also began to research methods of creating anti-gravity drives based on principles using the Higgs field. Plans were enthusiastically made to cryogenically collect all of the planet’s creatures’ embryos and send them in a two separate probes to loiter in the frigid Oort Cloud, at opposite ends, so that even if the sun exploded into a Red Giant a

few billion years down the line, they’d be safe. The hope was that humans would have developed enough in 2 billion years to at least have mastered interstellar travel by that time. The example was that life took about 3.5 billion years from a standing start to humans taking their first flight – so there was hope. A mood of optimism prevailed as peace reigned, as all agreed that Earth was all humanity had. Destroying it through mindless war would condemn most of the world’s population to death and starvation for no good reason.

Takeaway The power of dreams is immense.

Commentary Providing no one does anything stupid, there’s hope for us yet.