Confessions c3715

Other Books by Erik Bang Boesen:

Panik før lukketid, Selvbiografiske digte (Danish 2008 sold out)

Nina du Preez, Sydafrika-Danmark tur retur, Digte/Poems (Danish/English 2011 sold out)

Fra demokrati til forbuds stat, politiske læserbreve (Danish 2014)

De fremmede og os, indvandringens historie i Danmark (Danish 2016)

Månelys (Panik før lukketid 2) Selvbiografiske digte (Danish 2017)

A Mask of Plenty, poems (English 2017)

Filosofiske Strøtanker, om menneske og samfund (Danish 2018)

Erik Frank Hansen, Et Socialdemokratisk Forfatterliv, Biografi (Danish 2019)

Tilkendegivelser (Panik før lukketid 3) Digte (Danish 2020)

Guldgraverne og andre skrøner fra Sydafrika, Noveller Humor (Danish 2020)

CONTENT

Intro

God help me

A Silent Love

Sometimes Ellinor

Maybe

Why

Keep Clean

I Could Have

Deterioating

A Barriere Left Unbroken

The Island

Savior

Yesterday, Today and Tomorow

A Slow Death

Slipping Away

You Prommished

Save Me

Giving Up

My Granny Wife

New Beginings

A Secret Love

Another Day with you

Life

It Hurts

I Love You

Misunderstood

Could We, Should We

Forever Love

I Love You All

Remove This Fear

Forbitten Love

A Mother Love

Motherly Love

Ellinor

Martin

A Boy Love

The Friend

Longing For You

The Signals

The Lost Daughter

The Pain

The Truth

Sadness

Depression

Thought I Died

Nina 2

The Real Me

The Lost Will

Goodbye

The Poems Alphabetically

A Barriered Left Unbroken

A Boy Love

A Mother Love

A Secret Love

A Silent Love

A Slow Death

Another Day with you

Could We, Should We

Depression

Deteriorating

Ellinor

Forbitten Love

Forever Love

Giving Up

Goodbye

I Could Have

I Love You All

I Love You

Intro 09

It Hurts

Keep Clean

Life

Longing For You

Martin

Maybe

Misunderstood

Motherly Love

My Granny Wife

New Beginnings

Nina 3

Remove This Fear

Sadness

Save Me

Savior

Slipping Away

Sometimes Ellinor

The Friend

The Island

The Lost Daughter

The Lost Will

The Pain

The Real Me

The Signals

The Truth

Thought I Died

Why

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

You Promised

INTRO

Dear reader, this is my second book of prose poems written in the English language (the first being “A Mask of Plenty”) in 2017. And this book poems are, like the first one, mostly of the biographical nature (or Confessions if you like) right down the road of the memory lane, both past and present. And it has once more been with a lot of mixed feelings to write these biographical poems, because some of them goes deep and hurts inside, by refreshing them from the memory. But fortunately, there has been both sad and joyful memories in my life, which the poems also reflect. And you know, in a strange way it has been a nice therapeutic relief to get rid of. Sometimes it is good for the mental health for a person to take a good look inside oneself and clean up all the drawers and cabinets the memory bank, to erase all the bad and negative things and get on with life, because you can not use it for anything anyway.

Hope you enjoy. Erik Bang Boesen Svendborg 2021

So, help me God.

Here I am, Right back where I began the last time. But only this time with a cracked pipe in my hand.

A Silent Love

How can you deny me? Something that is so true? Our friendship is worth the world to me, But my dream is to be close to you.

We each other endlessly, Giving hope through thick and thin. But my heart bleeds constantly for you, Whispering the word, When?

I gave you a path to my heart, And on it you certainly found your way. Now lying in my spirit, I dream of us everyday.

And it is the mystery that lies within you, Your soul I wish to be nearby. But as for now I will continue loving you,

Quietly remaining here -

Sometimes (Or Ellinor)

When I first met you I never thought I would love you. I never thought I would need you. I just thought of being friends with you.

But as the days went by You made me love you. in every simple thing you do in every simple word you say now I cannot escape.

I have given you all of me. I have given everything. nothing was left for me.

Sometimes I thought it was just a big mistake. Sometimes it is just a nightmare. Sometimes I regret

but then again I do not Because I love you and I am willing to give everything. once again just to make you stay.

Maybe

If you only gave me the time, if you only gave me a chance, I'd show you how much I care, I'd make our love last.

But deep down inside I know. the only one you want. is the one that hurt you, the one that broke your heart.

Maybe you are confused, frustrated too, about the one to choose, but it is obvious for you.

Maybe you are afraid. to be in love again, maybe you do not want.

what happened back then.

But all I have for you. in my heart is love.

Why?

I wish. you were mine for me to love but you turn me. down every time because of him. You say you love me. but it is not true. if it were you would say to me. I love you. but instead, you go for him. What is it? you see in him. I love you more. than him I would not cheat.

like he would I love you more. every day that I see your face but you turn me down for him!

Keep Clean

Every morning we get up. There are things that we must do! Keeping clean can be much fun. For you and everyone! We wash our hands; we rub and scrub. We wash our faces as you can see. Brush up and down, up, and down. Come brush your teeth with me!

I Could Have

I could have been a million things. died a thousand times. walked along that road. stopped all the shit. tried again, and again. broken loose. looked for another way. been happy. I could have But I did not Fuck

Deteriorating

She is gone.

The etch of that night will never be wiped from my memory. Rather it will be wiped from existence in the form of his body.

What she did will die with me. Her body deteriorates as l speak, Yet my body still quivers. At the vivid memory Of her hands on me.

I wish I could say my faith saved me.

Or that I was saved.

Today There is less room for justice in our society. Then there is for saviors.

Haven bound I was taken. But my memory was not taken from me

Scarred by the words not spoken. And screams left unheard.

A barrier left unbroken.

My body is still trying to . Who it belongs to? What it is capable of

What this body wants. Not what she wanted.

It knows what it wants but fate has other plans.

I survive through the turmoil of her existence. Yet I survive it through her ignorance. My name is left on his tombstone as to carry on his name, I am left with a greater burden. The keepsake of a grave I carry on my shoulders. Of a man I never chose to .

It took longer to realize I am strong. Then it took to realize even though I live in this body

I have no control of what others do to it. All I can do is fight it.

The Island

I get blinks of old memories. seems like some old dreams. clearer with each second dimmer then on

Just being in the moment forgetting to capture it. now they remain only as dreams. and when I am at peace, they crawl in to take me away on this familiar island blissfully, far from troubles far from rain

These moments carved in our life scripts. just like names of lovers on the beach only to be washed away smoothly comfortably by punctual tides of time and now all that remains. are these vague old dreams in this script of mine.

Savior

He was a knight in shining armor. He needed a damsel to help. He found me. I did not need him; he craved me more. and I became the one who needed to be helped. He could not help anymore. No one could. Not everyone is and alcoholic, Or a drug addict, Some people work too much, lock themselves away, or drink their coffee like its life . But the idea is the same, to drown themselves in something, in anything. To push away everything for a moment, just one small moment. Next time, look closer,

Because everyone has their demons, Some just are not that obvious.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

There are two days in every week. about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free. of fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains. Yesterday has ed forever. beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we did. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.

With its possible adversities, its burdens, its larger promise. tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. tomorrow, the sun will rise, Either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds,

But it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow. For it is yet unborn.

This leaves us only one day. TODAY Any man can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add. the burdens of those two awful eternities yesterday and tomorrow That we break down. It is not the experience of today. that drives men mad. It is remorse or bitterness for something.

which happened yesterday? And the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, truly live but ONE day at a time.

A Slow Death

As I hold the spoon to the flame, I have got only myself to blame.

As I stick the needle in my skin, I do not feel like I can ever win.

There is a moment of elation, That follows the penetration.

But it is gone again too soon, So, I try to find my spoon.

And I will do it all again, Until I reach the very end.

Slipping Away

There is a siren in the distance, As the daylight is slipping away. And he tries to put up some resistance, As his soul is slipping away.

The siren is growing closer, But he fears she cannot stay, To wait for the paramedics because Her will is slipping away.

The siren is loud and comes to a stop. They burst through the door, not waiting to knock. But they are too late to help, her families in shock. Her life has slipped away.

You Promised

You promised you had quit. I know that you tried, But in the end It turns out you lied.

You promised you would try. to quit again. But you were not any more successful. that time, my friend.

This time will be different. You promised me. You would give up your pipe, You would be crack free.

But you are still smoking crack, And I have given up hope. You will always love me less.

Then you love your dope.

So, I am saying goodbye, and this time I mean it.

Save Me.

You do not care about Your life or your health. And I cannot save you, But I can save myself. From you.

Giving Up

I cannot watch one more day, As you throw your life away, Put alcohol in your vein, and slowly go insane.

Seems there is nothing I can do. To get through to you. If you are ever going to quit, Find your own strength to do it.

I just cannot take it anymore, So, I am walking out the door. Do not know if I will see you alive again, But I tried to be your friend.

My Granny Wife

Our lips have met one another and tasted like liquor. But ones once they turned tasteless. and my blood was no longer tainted, the greeting felt natural. Your hands brushed upon my trembling body. and they felt like the first fallen leaves of autumn. So delicate and new. The words from your mouth felt like butterflies. within my body, all over my body. Your stare feels like a ray of sunlight. after a wretched rainstorm, when you ask me why I look, I reply? "Because you're so beautiful"

New beginnings

I felt my head on your chest and ed. what it is like to sleep with someone who dreams of you, I kissed your lips softly and slowly and ed. what it is like to kiss someone who cares for every touch, I held your hand tightly with sweaty hands and ed what it is like to grasp for someone. who will not let go, I stared in your eyes, and you stared in mine and ed what it is like to look at someone. who thinks you are the most beautiful thing? in the universe,

A Secret Love

There is a Lady sweet and kind, Was never face so pleased my mind. I did but see her ing by, And yet I love her till I die.

Her gesture, motion, and her smiles, Her wit, her voice my heart beguiles, Beguiles my heart, I know not why, And yet I love her till I die.

Cupid is winged and doth range, Her country so my love doth change: But change she earth, or change she sky, Yet will I love her till I die.

Another Day with you

The dusk falls on another day, but I have yet to see its splendor. Birds and children laugh without fear, for they do not know the pain.

My smiles have fallen upon blind eyes, and my words upon deaf ears. The dusk falls on another day, but I have yet to see its splendor.

Heavy is my heart because of the truth, but it refuses to listen too close. Sunlight awakens and brings me to life, covering over the cavernous hole within.

I walk and hope to hear her voice, but the silence screams in my ears. Heavy is my heart because of the truth,

but it refuses to listen too close.

My soul whispers gently for her attention, yet the night is my cold companion. Anger and frustration rack my mind, while my heart is wrapped in sadness.

Step by step I continue the journey, longing only for the warmth of true love. My soul whispers gently for her attention, yet the night is my cold companion.

To whom do my cries find their way, crisp air receiving their pain. Hope dwells deep within my spirit. while her smile is burned upon the world.

Into the darkness I fade once again, waiting for the light of another day. To whom do my cries find their way, crisp air receiving their pain.

Life

I sit here and wonder... If life is worth living... Because no one EVER feels like giving... Giving the time to ask how I am. They ALL act like they do not give a damn. I know I have made a mistake, And now my LIFE I WANT to TAKE! I do not know whether you will forgive me, Because I know I cannot forgive myself... so please let me be. I know I disappointed you, But I know you will get through! The LAST thing I have to say is: I LOVE YOU! And that will always stay!

I am sorry....

It hurts.

I am hurting inside, you cannot see it. All my friends think it is just me. It is just me, everybody hates me, life is hard. People say it will get easy, that I doubt. Life is hard. Why do I go on? Encouragement, hope maybe. That I do not know. Maybe I am cared for, maybe I am not, but I hope. Since I am still here,

I will not leave, just because you were there for me.

I love you.

I love you more than words can say. when I hug you, it takes my breath away? I buy you roses you melt to the ground. you give me kisses my heart starts to pound. we have been together for 48 years. the day one of us dye is the day that I fear. naturally, we had our ups and downs. but mostly our smiles will never frown. I wrote this poem only for you to see. that you and I were always meant to be.

Misunderstood

Seeing you sunshine after rain. Sitting beside you happiness defined. Holding your hand the world is non-existent. Looking into your eyes my heart smiles. Your warm hugs emotional safety, security. Your tender touch I have yet to discover. The sound of your voice my mind soars. Kissing you my heart screams your name with every beat. Your love my heart hungered and was satisfied.

My unfailing love for you

MISUNDERSTOOD!

Could we, Should we?

the timing's not good but I would not change it, if I could this is how it is supposed to be. it is not a game of wait and see.

the heart knows nothing of time. it does not follow circumstantial song or rhyme. your heart tells you what to pursue what you want to see it through

to pick back up in a few, short years after frustration, maybe others, and unwanted tears

if that is right for what? for whom? yes, others care...but they are not you.

you have said it before.

they do not have a clue. as to what you feel see and do. to wait on approval for life to allow would that be easier...maybe?

but would I be proud? to know it was not good enough. when easy feelings seemed all too tough we both know- right now it would last. but later, bring back the past could we?

I never picked to be in this place. we ironically met. what made us feel open and free? what made you share your life with me?

to know how you feel... totally exposed.

things you said. only I could possibly know.

in itself is hard and tormenting you express your hopes. concerns and fears. of losing this now

still unsure what direction to steer it is hard for us both we've gone 'round and 'round. a solid answer is yet to be found.

how do we reach this? what must we do? if we knew all of this, would that be bad, too?

we are afraid to let go. we have tried it before. to always come back

the heart was so sore.

wondering and feeling you might be 'the one.'" should that be something? to turn from and run

where can we go? from here? amongst all confusion, this still shines clear -

hold out our hands. let open the heart. or do not get involved. it is too hard to start. if it is a game you felt you could win.

you said you would jump in if your mind

says you will lose that you will do should we continue? to sit here and question?

or realize this is. life's greatest lesson should we?

Forever Love

Forever I will love you. No matter what Forever I will love you. And I will not give up. For my love to you I can never stop.

You will always stay in my heart. No matter how long we will be apart. No matter how much people will blame. Forever I will love you. Forever I will be the same. Your eyes are my guide. I will stay always by your side. I will not let go of the love I find. Your smile is my light. I loved you even before my first sight. Forever you will be my dream knight.

Your hair. your ears. your lips All your face I love you all. This love will never be replaced.

Your heart. your words. your voice

I love you all.

We are born to be together. I will love you forever. No matter how much I am going to suffer.

My love to you will forever exist. On you I will always insist Be sure that I do not care for all the rest. You are my fate. Forever I will love you. I will never hesitate.

I want you to love me. Just one more day And let me feel those nice feelings once again Let me forget that you have already went away. cause that will make me go insane.

Let me love you one more day. To give you more love that may make you stay.

Come back to my life once again appear! Stay in my heart come near.

Remove this fear!

Let us fall in love once more. And from this dream don't make me awake Do not say goodbye. Don't close the door. For heaven's sake

You were the sweetest dream. I know. Dreams are always better than real. Dreams always bring sun beam. Real puts you in prisons of steel. Life is so strange. Nothing stays the same. Everything changes. But who to blame?

Life is like a game. Where you must lose

Before you can gain To win you must face the fearful rain.

In Life. They always say. Don't use your heart. Only use your brain

In life there is love But the more is hated. No one decide. They all hesitate. And who knows the fate?

The closest people you need go away. When you need them the most? You find them lost.

Day after day Days go by People are born. and another die

Year after year No one understands. Nothing is clear. Nothing in our hearts except fear

Today you walk & talk. Tomorrow you lay in your grave. And nothing it gave. The money that you save. And no use of your gold When it will not be sold You must be strong.

Stop doing the wrong And never lie Be ready for your last goodbye.

Forbitten Love

It was not a snap that broke her, Or the purple on her skin. It was a gentle fondling, From a man she thought her kin. It was not a dirty van that housed her, It was the paradise that she lived in. She fought to change the past, To meet her future with a grin. But day by day she drooped, Her smile turned into sin. Inside her head she heard Silence through the din. Her heart could not forgive. The places he had been. It took years for her to realize. It was time to lift her chin. Because at the end of the day She knew he could never truly win.

A mother loves.

I being young. careless, not a worry in the world I was so happy. I was that kid running around. trying to race everyone. never feeling alone I did not know right from wrong. but what was wrong with that? one day I my mommy. she was listening to the phone. I had a good day. except for when that teacher called me over. "Why do you have that bruise dear?" gasp and that cut. I looked down. "Oh, I fell yesterday”!

she sent me off to play again. so, my mommy on the phone she covers her mouth. I asked what was wrong. but she did not say a thing. over the next few days that is how it went me talking to the teachers between races. and my mom listening to her voicemail. one day I came home. a nice lady in a suit wanted to talk to me. I thought she was cool, so we talked. she asked me all sorts of questions. how much do you eat? when? what do you do for fun? have you ever been hit? I told her everything. not a single care it was fun right. she left while talking about me on the phone.

give it a little while. and an hour later she came back with 4 police officers. I could smell cologne.

They smiled at me and walked me over to a squad car, asked if I wanted to sit up front. "Sure." Who could say no? The nice lady sat with me from a while and talked a lot. A little while later, she took me in her car. We drove for an hour. I forgot to ask though, "Where’s mommy?"

Motherly Love

My mother unknowingly inspired me to write this poem.

My mom. My former best friend. The same mother who let me get bruised and bullied. who told me horror stories of rape and molestation? - When she was not cautious of my-her own history. My mother who stood in the kitchen raising her finger high and - Chanting “fuck you, fuck you!”, at my father. Tears running down my face as she continued to scream. My mother who took the medicine Mucinex with a heavy hand. The same mom who would wake me up at four in the morning. - to tell me lies about my father when she ran out of drug. The same mother that committed adultery several times. The same mother that subjected me to R rated movies. - at a young age. The same mother who attacked my sister as I watched. My mother who rejected me every time I reached out to her.

- who blames me for not visiting her? My brother who I am terrified of. Terrified of becoming her. The same mother that I own everything to. - mother who made me who I am.

Ellinor

You are my sun. my moon my guiding star my heaven on earth no one could make me happier. you make me feel whole. you fill out my heart. and because of you I can touch the stars. walk on the moon. and light up like the sun.

Martin

You come with no wrapping or pink bows. You are who you are, from your head to your toes. You tend to get loud when speaking your mind. Even a little crazy some of the time. You are not the world and do not care to be. You can be you and I can be me. You try to be strong when pain knocks you down. And the times that you cry are when no one’s around. To error is human or so that is what they say. Well, tell me who is perfect anyway. But I love you all the same!

A Boys Love.

When the boy said. I love you. I nearly wept the tears which have been filling. since the last one left, Unsure of my feelings I turn away. and look to the ground, Searching, For something, To distract myself, I see the garbage, with the used wrappers from our affairs, Wondering, maybe that is why, Because why would a boy love you for any other reason but your body? Because I have been taught to beware of those three words, For those are the words which are spoken when he wants more, More than your touch, Or cress, But your lips,

His, on your hips, For when the boy said I love you I was confused and concerned, Because why would she, Could she, Love someone like me.

The Friend

I call myself a friend, The end, The end, Every friend has its end, It is nearer than you think, For I am the friend who cared too much, And you, Too little, I tried, You cried, Screaming "how could you," I question your intentions, For you think I cared too less, But it was you indeed, For I went on years no sleep, Watching, Waiting, Making sure I would wake up with a best friend,

And I cried, When it rang true, The end of you had come too soon, For I was the friend who had lost what I loved, And you were the friend who lost everything,

Longing for You

Have you ever woken up? in the dead of night, needing that someone with all your might? Just hearing a song sparks a memory, and you are reminded of them. in everything you see. You survive off memories. when they are not with you, and the longing just grows stronger. no matter what you do. So, until the next time your lips meet, you will the feelingthe rush, that heat. A love as beautiful, as the storybooks say-

so, tell me, have you? ever felt this way?

The Signals

You send me the signals. that we are over, we are through. But why do you keep coming back. if that is true? You ask for my forgiveness. time and time again but I am sick of giving it to you, not anymore will I. Your confusion is rubbing off on me, just because you are unsure. does not mean I have to be as well. I know you do not want me, I get it, there is no need to make me feel like as well. I am done with you, like you are. I, now can we drop these petty games. and part our ways?

The lost daughter

I used to think we were happy. And everything was OK now. And bygones were bygones. but you did not believe me, and you did not trust me. You did not think you were happy. Because someone told you that. And You did not come to me. you just said your goodbye, and leaving everyone aghast It is a shame you left though, Believe me. I would like to undo everything. But I cannot And you cannot There is only one person in the world. who can help you now? and that is you.

The Pain.

Kill me please, I beg of you, come and take me from this place. take away all my pain, and put a smile on my face.

lift me higher than the rest, hold me right up to the sky. let me look down at my world, laugh and sing my goodbye.

whisper your words of comfort, and peel away my pain. please help me to be happy, and make me smile again.

embrace me warmly in your arms, wash me of my dirty sins. take my life onto yourself,

and let the sadness win.

so, kill me now, I ask of you, and I will not ask again. for you are the one I turn to, you are the angel of my pain.

The Truth.

The sun is hiding behind the clouds, the rain fills up the skies. she smiles and she says she is fine, but they are just her lies.

secretly she is breaking down, she lives in her own world of pain. this girl used to be so happy, but that is never to be again.

her heart is gone, and she is empty, inside she just wants to die. but she bravely puts on a smile, she will not let them see her cry.

she will prove how strong she is, and that she will be alright. she does not care how hard it is,

she is going to win this fight.

she wants to open to someone, but does not know who to tell. who would understand that she, feels like she is going through hell.

she wants to openly cry, and to be told she will be okay. she wants to know she can do it. that she can make it all go away.

she does not understand it though, she is not sure she ever will. all she really wants is to, open and tell how she really feels.

Sadness.

Laugh at me I deserve it, I do not have a choice. look at my face and listen to my voice.

push me I deserve it, I am going the wrong way. someone needs to show me where I must stay.

hit me I deserve it, for I have done something wrong. I must have lied and pretended I was strong.

kill me I deserve it, I am just not strong enough. someone hurry up this life is just too much.

Depression

Someone comes and rescue me, help me through the night. someone comes and hold me, whisper you will be alright. someone comes and look at me, and know that I am not fine. someone comes and say to me, I love you, please be mine. someone comes and smile at me, make me feel like I am cared for. someone comes and speak to me, make me feel better than before. someone just be there for me, pretend to care. someone just stays so I can see you, so, I will know your always there.

Though I Died.

He above has chosen me, it is my time to leave. but I want you to smile, and not to cry please.

For now, I am with the angels, and I am watching from the sky. but please do not be sad. I do not want to see you cry.

I was just not strong enough, I weakened and gave up the fight. but it did not mean I did not love you. I just would never be alright.

now I am truly smiling. yes, I am watching you from above, I am sent out my hug and kisses.

I am shouting out my love.

this is your final time with me, come and whisper your goodbyes! but please try and smile I do not want our last memories to be your softened cries.

I am sorry for what pain I have caused. but I know it was for the best. now I can finally be happy. and now I am finally at rest.

So, this will be my last words spoken. and I do not want to see you cry. keep on living in your wonderful lives. the world did not stop, though I died.

Nina 3

I heard your voice in the wind today. And I turned to see your face. The warmth of the wind caressed me. As I stood silently in place.

I felt your touch in the sun today. As its warmth filled the sky. I closed my eyes for your embrace. And my spirit sored high.

I saw your eyes in the windowpane. As I watched the falling rain. It seemed like each raindrop fell. It quietly said your name.

I held you close in my heart today. It made me feel complete. You may have died – but you are not gone.

You will always be a part of me.

And if the sun shines The wind blows, the rain falls. You will live on inside me forever. For that is all my heart knows.

The Real Me.

A battle with depression, a fight she cannot win. no matter how strong she is, she knows she will give in.

she smiles like she means it, but her smile is a fake. each night that she goes to sleep, hoping she does not wake.

she does not know how she does it, yet each day she makes it through. wishing she could turn back time, wishing she could start new.

each day it hurts a little more, yet she cannot seem to share, just how she is really feeling,

she fears no one will care.

she thinks so badly of herself, but she does not say how she feels. she's scared when she says it aloud, the pain will become too real.

each day is her own battle, each day she goes through hell. on her face is a painted smile, but inside she is not well.

she does not want to be like this, she desperately wants you to see. she just wants to smile & be happy, oh yeah, and that girl is me.

The Lost Will

I want to Google something. I do not know what. Anything that would distract me from my forlorn thoughts

I have a lot to do. but I accomplish none of it. I’ll probably end up lonely. somewhere in a pit

life dealt me great cards. I am just a shitty player. but I can still turn it around. if I find a will somewhere

Goodbye

Since this is the way it is going to be, I will sum it all up. with poetry -

Where do I even start? explaining the way, I feel? I just keep telling myself: this cannot be happening; this is not real.

In my heart it seems there is a sudden void. You built me up, only to break me down. now everything appears be destroyed.

My life's orbit has suddenly stoppedwhere do I go from here? I guess this just goes to show,

things are not always as they appear.

Only now do I realize what I put up with, everything I had to endure. Only now do I really contemplate, on what we truly were.

I am not here to make you feel guilty, nor will I ever be. Just know, I will always , the 'old' you and me.

All This And much more I have finally Confessed

Thank you for your time!

Confessions Copyright © Erik Bang Boesen 2021

Publisher: Books on Demand GmbH Norderstedt Books on Demand GmbH København Denmark BoD Books on Demand GmbH World vide Publisher. Print: Books on Demand GmbH Norderstedt

Writing type: Times New Roman Book cover: © Pinterest

1.edition 2021

ISBN: 9788743065197