Groundhog Day Transcript 2s92s

GROUNDHOG DAY Man: SOMEBODY ASKED ME TODAY “ PHIL, IF YOU COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE? ” AND I SAID TO HIM, “PROBABLY RIGHT HERE…” ELKO, NEVADA – OUR NATION’S HIGH AT 79 TODAY.OUT IN CALIFORNIA THEY’LL HAVE WARM WEATHER TOMORROW GANG WARS AND OVERPRICED REAL ESTATE. UP IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST THEY’LL HAVE SOME VERY TALL TREES. Clear across the Rockies and the Great Plains but look out, here comes trouble. （blowing forcefully） Oh, boy! A front coming our way. That’s going to mean to us here one of these big blue things! This cold, frigid Arctic air— this big mass coming out of the north. IT WILL MEET UP WITH THIS MOISTURE FROM THE GULF GOING TO MIX TOGETHER AT HIGH ALTITUDES

AND CAUSE SOME SNOW. Going out on a limb now. Not going to hit us here in Pittsburgh. Going to push off and hit Altoona. LET ’STAKE A LOOK AT THE FIVE DAY.NOTHING TO BE TOO SCARED ABOUT. BUNDLE UP WARM, OF COURSE. BUT YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR GALOSHES AT HOME. I WON’T BE HERE FOR THE 10:00. TOMORROW IS GROUNDHOG DAY. I’M GOING TO PUNXSUTAWNEY FOR OUR COUNTRY’S OLDEST GROUNDHOG FESTIVAL . SO ACCORDING TO THE LEGEND TOMORROW, FEBRUARY 2 IF THE GROUNDHOG WAKES AND SEES HIS SHADOW WE’VE GOT SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER. [WOMAN] YOU MUST REALLY ENJOY IT. THIS IS YOUR THIRD YEAR IN A ROW, ISN’T IT, PHIL? [PHIL] FOUR, NAN. FOUR. [PHIL] THANK, PHIL. UP NEXT, ENTERTAINEMENT EDITOR DIANE KINGMAN LOOKS AT SEX AND VIOLENCE IN THE MOVIES. STAY WITH US. （outro music） Man: WE’RE CLEAR.

[WOMAN] HAVE FUN IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, PHIL. [PHIL] FOR YOUR INFORMATION, HAIRDO THERE IS A MAJOR NETWORK INTERESTED IN ME. [LARRY] YEAH. THAT WOULD BE THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK. [PHIL] THANKS, LARRY. GO WAIT IN THE VAN, WILL YOU? [LARRY] THAT WAS NICE, PHIL. [HENNY] “BIG TREES.” [PHIL] STOP, HENNY. CAN YOU HANDLE THE 10:00? [HENNY] YEAH, YEAH. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO RUSH BACK I CAN DO THE 5:00 TOMORROW. [PHIL] OH, COME ON. I WANT TO STAY AN ENTRA SECOND IN PUNXSUTAWNEY? [HENNY] RITA THINKS IT WOULD BE GREAT TO STAY AROUND. GET SOME INCREDIBLE FOOTAGE OF PEOPLE AND THE FUN. YOU HAVEN’T WORKED WITH HER YET, HAVE YOU? SHE’S REALLY NICE. I THINK SHE’S GOING TO BE A REALLY GOOD PRODUCER. YOU GUYS WILL HAVE FUN. [PHIL] MMM-MMM. SHE’S FUN. BUT NOT MY KIND OF FUN. I WILL BE HERE FOR THE 5:00. RITA. （calypso-pop intro）

＊＊PREDICTIONS

SHOW A STEADY LOW YOU’RE FEELING JUST THE SAME BUT SEASONS COME AND SEASONS GO I’LL MAKE YOUS SMILE AGAIN IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME TAKE ME BY THE HAND CAN’T YOU FEEL YOU’RE WARMING UP? YEAH, I’M YOUR WEATHERMAN. ＊＊ [PHIL] CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET, LARRY? I’M PROBABLY LEAVING PBH. SO THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME WE DO THE GROUNDHOG TOGETHER . [LARRY] WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE GROUNDHOG FESTIVAL? WHEN I WORKED IN SAN DIEGO I COVERED THE SWALLOWS RETURNING TO CAPISTRANO SIX YEARS IN A ROW. [PHIL] SOMEDAY, SOMEBODY WILL SEE ME INTERVIEWING A GROUNDHOG AND THINK I DON’T HAVE A FUTURE. [RITA] I THINK IT’S A NICE STORY. HE COMES OUT. HE LOOKS AROUND. HE WRINKLES UP HIS LITTLE NOSE. HE SEES HIS SHADOW , HE DOESN’T SEE HISSHADOW. PEOPLE LIKE IT. [PHIL] YOU ARE NEW, AREN’T YOU? YOU KNOW,PEOPLE

LIKE BLOOD SAUSAGE TOO. PEOPLE ARE MORONS. [RITA] NICE ATTITUDE. [PHIL] LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE DOING THAT LITTLE GROUNDHOG THING. FOR ME, ONCE. HE COMES OUT. AND THERE HE LOOKS AT HIS LITTLE SHADOW. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BLOOD SAUSAGE? I HAVE SOME HERE… [RITA] I LIKE BLOOD SAUSAGE. ＊＊THEY SAY IT’S GONE THAT DON’T MEAN A THING ‘CAUSE I’M THE ONE THAT MOVES THE SUN FOR YOU, I’LLTURN IT INTO SPRING SO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LONELY, TRY TO UNDERSTAND BABY, I CAN WARM YOU UP, ‘CAUSE I’M YOUR WEATHERMAN JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN ‘CAUSE I’M YOUR WEATHERMAN JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN JUST ASK THE WEATHERMAN…＊＊

（sighs） [PHIL] RITA, I CAN’T STAY HERE. [LARRY] PRIMA DONNA. [RITA] CAN IT. WHAT’S THE MATTER? [PHIL] I HATE THIS PLACE. I STAYED HERE TWO YEARS AGO. IT’S A FLEABAG. I’M NOT STAYING HERE. [RITA] YOU’RE NOT STAYING HERE. [PHIL] I’M NOT? [RITA] NO. LARRY’S DROPPING ME OFF. I BOOKED YOU A NICE BED AND BREAKFASTON CHERRY STREET. [PHIL] GREAT. YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THETRAITS OF A REALLY GOOD PRODUCER. KEEP THE TALENT HAPPY. [RITA] ANYTHING I CAN DO. [PHIL] WOULD YOU HELP ME WITH MY PELVIC TILT? [RITA] WITHIN REASON. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO DINNER WITH LARRY AND ME? [PHIL] NO, THANK YOU. I ‘VE SEEN LARRY EAT. YOU GET YOUR SLEEP. I’LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING. [RITA] DON’T BE LATE. [LARRY] DID HE ACTUALLY CALL HIMSELF THE TALENT? [RADIO] Then put your little hand in mine

‘Cause there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb Babe I got you, babe I got you, babe… Deejay#1: Okay, campers, rise and shine! And don’t forget your booties, ‘cause it’s cold out there! Deejay#2: It’s cold out there every day. You can expect hazardous travel later today with that blizzard thing. Oh, that blizzard thing. Oh, well, here’s the report. The National Weather Service is calling for a big blizzard thing. Yes, but there’s another reason why today is especially exciting. Especially cold. But the big question on everybody’s lips… Yeah, their chapped lips. Right. “Do you think Phil will come out and see his shadow?” Punxsutawney Phil! That’s right, woodchuck chuckers. Both: It’s Groundhog Day! Get up and chuck that hog out there! （men snorting like hogs） [MAN] MORNING.

[PHIL] MORNING. [MAN] YOU OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG? [PHIL] YES, I AM. [MAN] YOU THINK IT WILL BE AN EARLY SPRING? [PHIL] I’M PREDICTING MARCH 21. [MAN] GOOD GUESS. I THINK THAT ACTUALLY IS THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING. [MRS.LANCASTER] DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR.CONNORS? [PHIL] I SLEPT ALONE, MRS.LANCASTER. [MRS.LANCASTER] WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COFFEE? [PHIL] IS THERE ANY POSSIBILITY OF GETTING AN ESPRESSO OR CAPPUCCINO? [MRS.LANCASTER] OH…I REALLY DON’T KNOW, UM… （Phil whispering:）HOW TO SPELL”ESPRESSO…” THIS LOOKS FINE. [MRS.LANCASTER] I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FESTIVITIES. [PHIL] I’M SURE I’M GOING TO. [MRS.LANCASTER] THERE’S TALK OF A BLIZZARO. [PHIL] THAT BLIZZARO MIGHT BLOW RIGHT BY US. ALL OF THIS MOISTURE COMING UP OUT OF THE SOUTH WILLPROBABLY PUSH ON TO THE EAST OF US CRYSTALIZE, AND GIVE US SOME SNOW. PROBABLY BE SOME ACCUMULATION.

BUT HERE IN PUNXSUTAWNEY OUR HIGH WILL GET UP TO ABOUT 30 TODAY. TEENS TONIGHT. CHANCE OF PRECIPITATION ABOUT 20% TODAY. 20% TOMORROW. WERE YOU JUST MAKING CHITCHAT? [MRS.LANCASTER] CHITCHAT. [PHIL] SEE YOU LATER. GOOD-BYE. [MRS.LANCASTER] WILL YOU BE CHECKING OUT TODAY, MR.CONNORS? [PHIL] CHANCE OF DEPARTURE TODAY, 100%. [NED] PHIL? HEY, PHIL? PHIL? PHIL CONNORS? I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. HOW YOU DOING? [PHIL] THANKS FOR WATCHING. [NED] DON’T TELL ME YOU DON’T ME BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE YOU. [PHIL] NOT A CHANCE. [NED] NED! RYERSON!

“NEED LENOSE” NED. NED “THE HEAD.” COME ON, BUDDY. CASE WESTERN HIGH. I DID THE WHISTLING BELLYBUTTON TRICK AT THE HIGH SCHOOL TALENT SHOW. BING! NED RYERSON. GOT THE SHINGLESS REAL BAD SENIOR YEAR. ALMOST DIDN’T GRADUATE. BING AGAIN! I DATED YOUR SISTER MARY PAT TILL YOU TOLD ME NOT TO ANYMORE. WELL? [PHIL] NED RYERSON? [NED] BING! [PHIL] BING. SO DID YOU TURN PRO WITH THAT BELLYBUTTON THING, NED? [NED] NO, I SELL INSURANCE. [PHIL] WHAT A SHOCK. [NED] DO YOU HAVE LIFE INSURANCE? ‘CAUSE YOU COULD ALWAYS USE MORE. AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT? [PHIL] NED, I WOULD LOVE TO STAND HERE AND TALK WITH YOU BUT I’M NOT GOING TO. SEE YOU.

[NED] THAT’S ALL RIGHT. I’LL WALK WITH YOU. YOU KNOW, WHENEVER I SEE AN OPPORTUNITY NOW I CHARGE IT LIKE A BULL. NED “THE BULL,” THAT’S ME NOW. FRIENDS OF MINE LIVE AND DIE BY THE ACTUARIAL TABLES. I SAY, “HEY, IT’S ALL ONE BIG CRAP SHOOT.” HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF SINGLE LIFE? BECAUSE THAT COULD BE THE TICKET FOR YOU. OH, GOD! IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR DINNER? [PHIL] SOMETHING ELSE. IT’S BEEN GREAT SEEING YOU, NEEDLEHEAD. TAKE CARE. （snickering） [NED] WATCH OUT FOR THAT FIRST STEP. IT’S A DOOZY. （polka music playing） **STRIKE UP THE MUSIC THE BAND HAS BEGUN THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER AND IN THE FUN THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA IT STARTED IN SCRANTON

IT’S NOW NUMBER ONE IT’S GOING TO ENTERTAIN YA…** Rita: HEY, PHIL! PHIL, OVER HERE. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? [PHIL] IT WAS HORRIBLE. A GIANT LEECH GOT ME. [RITA] YOU’RE MISSING ALL THE FUN. THESE PEOPLE ARE GREAT. SOME OF THEM HAVE BEEN PARTYING ALL NIGHT.THEY SING TILL THEY GET COLD THEN THEY GO SIT BY THE FIRE THEN THEY COME BACK AND SING SOME MORE. [PHIL] YEAH. THEY’RE HICKS, RITA. SO, YOU SLEEP OKAY WITHOUT ME? YOU TOSSED AND TURNED, DIDN’T YOU? [RITA] YOU’RE INCREDIBLE. [PHIL] WHO TOLD YOU? ( crowd cheering ) [RITA] OKAY. IT’S GROUNDHOG TIME. [PHIL] OKAY, ON ME IN THREE… TWO… ONE… ONCE A YEAR, THE EYES OF THE NATION TURN TO THIS TINY HAMLET IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA TO WATCH A MASTER AT WORK. THE MASTER? PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL

THE WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS WEATHERMAN, THE GROUNDHOG WHO, AS LEGEND HAS IT CAN PREDICT THE COMING OF AN EARLY SPRING. SO I GUESS THE QUESTION WE HAVE TO ASK OURSELVES TODAY IS: DOES PHIL FEEL LUCKY? Phil: IT’S THE SAME SHTICK EVERY YEAR. THE GUY RAPS ON THE DOOR. THEY PULL THE LITTLE RAT OUT THEY TALK TO HIM, HE TALKS BACK. THEN THEY TELL US WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. [Rita] OH, ISN’T HE CUTE? [PHIL] HEY, DO YOU LIKE YOUR GUYS WITH PROMINENT UPPER TEETH? [RITA] NO. [Man] THIS FEBRUARY 2nd AT 7:20 AND 30 SECONDS, PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL THE SEER OF SEERS PROGNOSTICATOR OF PROGNOSTICATORS EMERGED, RELUCTANTLY BUT ALERTLY IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA AND STATED IN GROUNDHOG-ESE

“I DEFINITELY SEE A SHADOW.” ( moans and boos ) SORRY, FOLKS. SIX MORE WEEKS OF WINTER. ( booing ) [PHIL] ON ME IN TREE… TWO…ONE… THIS IS ONE TIME WHERE TELEVISION REALLY FAILS TO CAPTURE THE TURE EXCITEMENT OF A LARGE SQUIRREL PREDICTING THE WEATHER. I, FOR ONE, AM VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE BEEN HERE. FROM PUNXSUTAWNEY, THIS IS PHIL CONNORS. SO LONG. [RITA] WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN WITHOUT THE SARCASM? [PHIL] WE GOT IT. I’M OUT OF HERE. [LARRY] PRIMA DONNAS. [LARRY] BOY, TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. [PHIL] WHAT IS GOING ON? [LARRY] I DON’T KNOW, PHIL. PERHAPS IT’S THAT BLIZZARD WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET. [PHIL] THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE. ( honks horn )

[LARRY] HEY, HEY! NOBODY HONKS THIS HORN BUT ME, OKAY, PAL? [PHIL] NO! NO! (horn honking) [MAN] YOU GOT TO TAKE THIS RIG OUT OF HERE. [PHIL] HEY, COMMANDER, WHAT’S GOING ON? [POLICE] WE’RE CLOSING THE ROAD. BIG BLIZZARD MOVING IN. [PHIL] WHAT BLIZZARD? IT’S A COUPLE OF FLAKES. [POLICE] DON’T YOU LISTEN TO THE WEATHER? WE GOT A MAJOR STORM. [PHIL] I MAKE THE WEATHER. ALL OF THIS MOISTURE COMING UP OUT OF THE GULF WILL PUSH OFF TO THE EAST AND HIT ALTOONA. [POLICE] PAL, YOU GOT THAT MOISTURE ON YOUR HEAD. YOU CAN GO BACK TO PUNXSUTAWNEY OR YOU CAN FREEZE TO DEATH. IT’S YOUR CHOICE. SO WHAT’S IT GOING TO BE? (horns honking, sirens wailing ) [PHIL] I’M THINKING. COME ON. ALL THE LONG DISTANCE LINES ARE DOWN? WHAT ABOUT THE SATELLITE?

IS IT SNOWING IN SPACE? DON’T YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF A LINE THAT YOU KEEP OPEN FOR EMERGENCIES OR FOR CELEBRITIES? I’M BOTH. I’M A CELEBRITY IN AN EMERGENCY. CAN YOU PATCH ME THROUGH ON THAT LINE, PLEASE? ( thud ) COULD I HAVE ONE MORE OF THESE WITH SOME BOOZE IN IT, PLEASE? OOH, I LIKE IT HERE. [RITA] PHIL, YOU GOING TO THE GROUNDHOG DINNER? [PHIL] NO, I HAD GROUNDHOG FOR LUNCH. WASN’T BAD. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN. YOU TWO RUN ALONG. WOW, LARRY, LOOKING FOXY TONIGHT, MAN. HEY, IS YOUR TROOP GOING TO BE SELLING COOKIES AGAIN THIS YEAR? [LARRY] THAT’S SO FUNNY, PHIL. [RITA] WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? [PHIL] UH… I THINK I’M GOING TO GO BACK TO MY ROOM AND TAKE A HOT SHOWER AND MAYBE READ HUSTLER OR SOMETHING. [RITA] SUIT YOURSELF.

( yelling ) [PHIL] YO, MOM, ISN’T THERE ANY HOT WATER? [MRS.LANCASTER] OH, NO, THERE WOULDN’T BE TODAY. [PHIL] OF COURSE NOT. SILLY ME. [MRS.LANCASTER] SWEET DREAMS. [RADIO] **Then put your little hand in mine ‘Cause there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb Babe I got you, babe I got you, babe…** Deejay #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine! And don’t forget your booties, ‘cause it’s cold out there! Deejay #2: It’s cold out there every day. [PHIL] NICE GOING, BOYS. YOU’RE PLAYING YESTERDAY’S TAPE. Deejay #1: …with that blizzard thing. Oh, that blizzard thing. Oh, well, here’s the report. The National Weather Service is calling for a big blizzard thing. Yes, but there’s another reason why today is especially exciting. Especially cold. But the big question on everybody’s lips…CHAPPED LIPS.

…chapped lips. Right. “Do you think Phil will come out and see his shadow? Punxsutawney Phil! That’s right, woodchuck chuckers. Both: It’s Groundhog Day! Get up and chuck that hog out there! （men snorting like hogs） [PHIL] WHAT THE HELL? [MAN] MORNING! OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG? [PHIL] YEAH. [MAN] THINK IT WELL BE AN EARLY SPRING? [PHIL] DIDN’T WE DO THIS YESTERDAY? [MAN] I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.（screams） [PHIL] DON’T MESS WITH ME, PORK CHOP. WHAT DAY IS THIS? [MAN] IT’S FEBRUARY 2, GROUNDHOG DAY. [PHIL] YEAH. SORRY. YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS YESTERDAY. [MAN] OH. (nervous laughter) [MRS. LANCASTER] DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR. CONNORS? [PHIL] DID I SLEEP WELL? [MRS. LANCASTER] WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CDFFEE?

[PHIL] YES, PLEASE. I THINK I’LL HAVE A DOUBLE. [MRS. LANCASTER] I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FESTIVITIES. THERE’S TALK OF A BLIZZARD. [PHIL] DO YOU EVER HAVE DEJA VU, MRS. LANCASTER? [MRS. LANCASTER] I DO’T THINK SO BUT I COULD CHECK WITH THE KITCHEN. [PHIL] NO, THAT’S OKAY. THANK YOU. [MRS. LANCASTER] WILL YOU BE CHECKING OUT TODAY, MR. CONNORS? [PHIL] I’D SAY THE CHANCE OF DEPARTURE IS 80%. 75, 80… EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. WHERE’S EVERYBODY GOING? [WOMAN] TO GOBBLER’S KNOB. IT’S GROUNDHOG DAY. [PHIL] IT’S STILL JUST ONCE A YEAR, ISN’T IT? [NED] HEY! PHIL? PHIL? HEY! PHIL CONNORS. I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU. MY, OH, MY, PHIL CONNORS. NOW DON’T YOU SAY YOU DON’T ME BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE YOU. WELL? [PHIL] NED RYERSON? [NED] BING! OH, FIRST SHOT, RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX. SO,

HOW’S IT GOING, OLD BUDDY? [PHIL] TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, NEDDY I’M NOT FEELING REAL WELL. [NED] IT’S FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION YOUR HEALTH. YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT I DO NOW. [PHIL] DO YOU SELL INSURANCE? [NED] HO-HO, BING AGAIN! YOU ARE SHARP AS A TACK TODAY. DO YOU HAVE LIFE INSURANCE? BECAUSE IF YOU DO YOU COULD ALWAYS USE A LITTLE MORE. BUT YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING? I GOTS A FEELING… (whistles) YOU AIN’T GOT ANY. AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT? [PHIL] I GOT TO GO. [NED] PHIL! (snickering) [NED] WATCH OUT FOR THAT FIRST STEP. IT’S A DOOZY. (laughing) (polka music playing) **STRIKE UP THE MUSIC THE BAND HAS BEGUN THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA

PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER AND IN THE FUN THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA IT STARTED IN SCRANTON IT’S NOW NUMBER ONE…** [Rita] PHIL! PHIL, OVER HERE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? [PHIL] RITA, DO ME A FAVOR? I NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE ME A GOOD, HARD SLAP IN THE FACE. [RITA] HOW’S THAT? [PHIL] GOOD. [LARRY] IF YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH THE OTHER CHEEK I’M RIGHT HERE. [PHIL] SOMETHING’S GOING ON. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. [RITA] ARE YOU DRUNK? [PHIL] DRUNK’S MORE FUN. CAN I BE SERIOUS FOR A MINURE? [RITA] I DON’T KNOW. CAN YOU? [PHIL] YES, I’M BEING SERIOUS. I’M HAVING A PROBLEM. I MAY BE HAVING A PROBLEM. [LARRY] RITA, RITA… [RITA] IT’S GROUNDHOG TIME. [PHIL] SEE, I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT.

I REALLY FEEL WEIRD. [RITA] LET’S JUST DO THIS, PHIL, THEN WE’LL TALK. [PHIL] ALL-RIGHT. ON ME IN THREE…TWO,ONE… Well, it’s Groundhog Day… again and that must mean that we’re up here at Gobbler’s knob waiting for the forecast from the world’s most famous groundhog weatherman Punxsutawney Phil, who’s just about to tell us how much more winter we can expect. (crowd chanting:) PHIL! PHIL! PHIL! [RITA] THIS IS A RIOT. OH, ISN’T HE CUTE? [MAN] THIS FEBRUARY 2, AT 7:20 AND 30 SECONDS PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL, THE SEER OF SEERS PROGNOSTICATOR OF PROGNOSTICATORS EMERGED RELUCTANTLY… [RITA] PHIL! [MAN] BUT ALERTLY IN… (PHIL yelling) OH, MY GOSH! YEAH, SPORT, I KNOW THERE’S A BLIZZARD. WHEN ARE. THE LONG DISTANCE LINES GOING TO BE REPAIRED?

WELL, WHAT IF THERE IS NO TOMORROW? THERE WASN’T ONE TODAY. HELLO? (dial tone) HELLO?! [RADIO] **Then put your little hand in mine ‘Cause there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb Babe I got you, babe I got you, babe…** [MAN] MORNING! OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG? [MRS. LANCASTER] OH, DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MISTER..? [PHIL] GOD! [NED] HEY! PHIL? WELL, HEY, PHIL, DON’T SAY YOU DON’T ME BECAUSE I SURE AS HECK-FIRE YOU. IT’S ME, NED…RYERSON. NEEDLENOSE NED, NED “THE HEAD.” COME ON, BUDDY. CASE WESTERN…HEY, LOOK… **PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER AND IN THE FUN…** [Rita] PHIL! OVER HERE! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? [PHIL] CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT A MATTER THAT IS NOT

WORK-RELATED? [Larry] HEY… [PHIL] IT’S A CREATIVE MEETING. [RITA] WE’VE GOT WORK TO DO. [PHIL] I’VE ALREADY DONE IT TWICE. WHEN YOU GET FINISHED, MEET ME IN THE DINER. [RITA] PHIL… [LARRY] WHAT’S THAT ALL ABOUT? [RITA] I DON’T KNOW. [LARRY] PRIMA DONNAS. [WAITRESS] MORE COFFEE, HON? [RITA] JUST A CHECK, PLEASE. THESE STICKY BUNS ARE JUST HEAVEN. [WAITRESS] AREN’T THEY? (loud clattering) [Gus] REAL NICE. JUST PUT THAT ANYWHERE, PAL, YEAH. [Ralph] GOOD SAVE. [RITA] OKAY, NOW TELL ME WHY YOU’RE TOO SICK TO WORK. [PHIL] RITA, I’M RELIVING THE SAME DAY OVER AND OVER. GROUNDHOG DAY, TODAY. [RITA] OKAY, I’M WAITING FOR THE PUNCH LINE.

[PHIL] NO, REALLY. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME. IT’S LIKE YESTERDAY NEVER HAPPENED. [RITA] I CAN’T BEGIN TO IMAGINE WHY YOU’D MAKE UP SOMETHING LIKE THIS. [PHIL] I’M NOT MAKING IT UP. I AM ASKING YOU FOR HELP. [RITA] OKAY. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? [PHIL] I DON’T KNOW. YOU’RE A PRODUCER. COME UP WITH SOMETHING. [RITA] YOU SHOULD GET YOUR HEAD EXAMINED. IF YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE A STUPID STORY LIKE THAT, PHIL. [MAN] PHIL? LIKE THE GROUNDHOG PHIL? [PHIL] YEAH, LIKE THE GROUNDHOG PHIL. [MAN] LOOK OUT. FOR YOUR SHADOW THERE, PAL. [PHIL] MORONS, YOUR BUS IS LEAVING. [LARRY] WE BETTER GET GOING IF WE’RE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER. [RITA] LET’S TALK ABOUT IT BACK IN PITTSBURGH. [PHIL] I’M NOT GOING BACK TO PITTSBURGH. [Rita] WHY NOT? [PHIL] BECAUSE OF THE BLIZZARD. [RITA] YOU SAID THAT WAS GOING TO HIT ALTOONA. [PHIL] I KNOW THAT’S WHAT I SAID.

[RITA] PHIL, I THINK YOU NEED HELP. THAT’S WHAT I ‘VE BEEN SAYING, RITA. I NEED HELP. [DICTOR] WELL, NO SPOTS, NO CLOTS NO TUMORS, NO LESIONS, NO ANEURYSMS... AT LEAST, NONE THAT I CAN SEE. IF YOU WANT A CAT SCAN OR AN M.R.I. YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO INTO PITTSBURGH. [PHIL] I CAN’T GO INTO PITTSBURGH. [DICTOR] WHY CAN’T YOU GO INTO PITTSBURGH? [PHIL] I TOLD YOU. THERE’S A BLIZZARD. [DICTOR] OH, RIGHT. THE BLIZZARD. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MAY NEED? [PHIL] A BIOPSY. [DICTOR] A PSYCHIATRIST. THAT’S AN UNUSUAL PROBLEM, MR. CONNORS. MOST OF MY WORK IS WITH COUPLES, FAMILIES… I HAVE AN ALCOHOLIC NOW. [PHIL] YOU WENT TO COLLEGE, RIGHT? IT WASN’T VETERINARY PSYCHOLOGY, WAS IT? DIDN’T YOU TAKE SOME KIND OF COURSE THAT COVERED THIS STUFF? [PSYCHIATRIST] YEAH, SORT OF, I GUESS, UH… ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY.

[PHIL] SO… WHAT DO I DO? [PSYCHIATRIST] I THINK WE SHOULD MEET AGAIN. HOW’S TOMORROW FOR YOU? IS THAT NOT GOOD? [PHIL] I WAS IN THE VIRGIN ISLANDS ONCE. I MET A GIRL, WE ATE LOBSTER, DRANK PINA COLADAS. AT SUNSET, WE MADE LOVE LIKE SEA OTTERS. THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD DAY. WHY COULDN’T I GET THAT DAY OVER AND OVER AND OVER? [GUS] YOU KNOW, SOME GUYS WOULD LOOK AT THIS GLASS AND SAY, “THAT GLASS IS HALF-EMPTY.” OTHER GUYS WOULD SAY “THAT GLASS IS HALF-FULL.” I PEG YOU AS A “GLASS IS HALF-EMPTY” KIND OF GUY. AM I RIGHT? [PHIL] WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE STUCK IN ONE PLACE AND EVERY DAY WAS EXACTLY THE SAME. AND NOTHING THAT YOU DID MATTERED? [RALPH] THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP FOR ME. [RALPH] GOOD LUCK. I’LL DROP YOU OFF. THIS THING STICKS A LITTLE BIT.

YOU GOT TO JIGGLE IT. [GUS] COME ON UP HERE, PAL. COME ON, GIVE ME YOUR KEYS. GIVE ME THE KEYS. FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS DRIVE, RIGHT? TAKE A DEEP BREATH. YOU FEEL OKAY? REALLY? OKAY, YOU’RE ALL RIGHT. [RULPH] UH-OH. [PHIL] WHOA! YOU WANT TO THROW UP HERE OR IN THE CAR? [RULPH] I THINK…BOTH. [PHIL] COME ON. [GUS] I DON’T THINK I SHOULD BE DRIVING. [PHIL] NO, NO. I DON’T EITHER. WATCH YOUR HEAD. NOW, WATCH YOUR KNEES. ALL RIGHT. LET’S NOT FORGET THE SEAT BELTS. [RALPH] HEY, WHO ELSE COULD GO FOR SOME FLAPJACKS RIGHT NOW? [PHIL] LET ME ASK YOU GUYS A QUESTION. [Ralph] SHOOT.

[PHIL] WHAT IF THRER WERE NO TOMORROW? NO TOMORROW? [GUS] THAT WOULD MEAN THERE WOULD BE NO CONSEQUENCES. THERE WOULD BE NO HANGOVERS. WE COULD DO WHATEVER WE WANTED. [PHIL] THAT’S TRUE. WE COULD DO WHATEVER WE WANT. [GUS] IF WE WANTED TO HIT MAILBOXES, WE COULD LET RALPH DRIVE. (siren wailing) [GUS] OH, HEY, HEY, PHIL. THEY WANT YOU TO STOP. [PHIL] HANG ON. Phil: IT’S THE SAME THING YOUR WHOLE LIFE. “CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM. “PICK UP YOUR FEET. “TAKE IT LIKE A MAN. “BE NICE TO YOUR SISTER. DON’T MIX BEER AND WINE.” OH, YEAH. “DON’T DRIVE ON THE RAILROAD TRACKS.” WELL, [GUS] THAT’S ONE I HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH. [PHIL] I DON’T KNOW, GUS. SOMETIMES, I THINK

YOU JUST HAVE TO TAKE THE BIG CHANCES. This is the police. Pull over immediately. [GUS] HEY, WE’RE TALKING IN HERE. UH, PHIL… [PHIL] YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I’M BETTING HE’S GOING TO SWERVE FIRST. [GUS] PHIL… [PHIL] I’M NOT GOING TO LIVE BY THEIR RULES ANYMORE. [RALPH] I NOTICED THAT. [PHIL] YOU MAKE CHOICES, AND TOU LIVE WITH THEM. UH-OH! [GUS] OH, OH, OH. MY KNEE. [PHIL] LET ME HANDLE THIS. YEAH, THREE CHEESEBURGERS, TWO LARGE FRIES TWO CHOCOLATE SHAKES, AND ONE LARGE COKE. [RALPH] AND SOME FLAPJACKS. [PHIL] TOO EARLY FOR FLAPJACKS? **Then put your little hand in mine ‘Cause there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb…** [PHIL] YES! OH, RISE AND SHINE, CAMPERS. DON’T FORGET YOUR BOOTLES ‘CAUSE IT’S COLD OUT THERE TODAY. WHAT IS THIS, MIAMI BEACH? NOT HARDLY.

[MRS. LANCASTER] OH, I…. [PHIL] SLEPT LIKE A BABY, THANK YOU. I’D LOVE SOME OF YOUR COFFEE, PLEASE. [MRS.LANCASTER] I HOPE… [PHIL] FLURRIES MOVING IN A BIT LATER BUT THE BLIZZARD’S GOING TO HIT OUTSIDE OF TOWN. WAS ANYBODY LOOKING FOR ME? A STATE OFFICIAL, MAYBE A BLUE HAT, GUN, NIGHTSTICK? [MRS.LANCASTER] OH, NO. NO ONE LIKE THAT. WILL THERE BE? [PHIL] APPARENTLY NOT. WILL YOU HOLD MY ROOM, PLEASE? I’M GOING TO STAY AN EXTRA DAY. CATCH YOU TOMORROW, HUH, POP. [NED] HEY…PHIL? PHIL? HEY, PHIL CONNORS! [PHIL] NED! [RITA] I LIKE TO SEE A MAN OF ADVANCING YEARS THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND. IT’S INSPIRING, IN A WAY. [PHIL] MY YEARS ARE NOT ADVANCING AS FAST AS YOU MIGHT THINK. [WAITRESS] MORE COFFEE, HON? [PHIL] YEAH. KEEP IT COMING, PLEASE.

[WAITRESS] SURE THING. (clattering) [GUS] REAL NICE. JUST PUT THAT ANYWHERE, PAL, YEAH. [Ralph] GOOD SAVE. [RITA] DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT CHOLESTEROL LUNG CANCER, LOVE HANDLES? [PHIL] I DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE. [RITA] WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL? EVERYBODY WORRIES. [PHIL] THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT MAKES ME SO SPECIAL. I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO FLOSS. [RITA] OH! [PHIL] WHAT? [RITA] “THE WRETCH, CONCENTERED ALL IN SELF. “LIVING, SHALL FORFEIT FAIR RENOWN” AND DOUBLY DYING, SHALL GO DOWN “TO THE VILE DUST, FROM WHENCE HE SPRUNG UNWEPT, UNHONORED AND UNSUNG.” SIR WALTER SCOTT. YOU DON’T LIKE POETRY? [PHIL] I LOVE POETRY. I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS WILLARD SCOTT.

DO YOU THINK I’M ACTING LIKE THIS BECAUSE I’M EGOCENTRIC? [RITA] I KNOW YOU’RE EGOCENTRIC. [LARRY] WE BETTER GET GOING IF WE’RE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER. [RITA] THANKS, LARRY. WOULD YOU LIKE A DOGGIE BAG? [PHIL] NO, I’M GOING TO FINISH. [RITA] I THOUGHT YOU HATED THIS TOWN. [PHIL] NO IT’S BEGINNING TO GROW ON ME. [PHIL] LARRY, QUIT STARING. THESE ARE EXCELLENT. [RITA] BON APPETIT. Phil meets Nancy [PHIL] DID YOU SEE THE GROUNDHOG THIS MORNING? [NANCY] UH-HUH. I NEVER MISS IT. [PHIL] WHAT’S YOUR NAME? [NANCY] NANCY TAYLOR. AND YOU ARE…? [PHIL] WHAT HIGH SCHOOL DID YOU GO TO? [NANCY] WHAT? [PHIL] HIGH SCHOOL. [NANCY] LINCOLN IN PITTSBURGH. WHO ARE YOU? [PHIL] WHO WAS YOUR 12th GRADE ENGLISH TEACHER? [NANCY] ARE YOU KIDDING?

[PHIL] IN 12th GRADE, YOUR ENGLISH TEACHER WAS… [NANCY] MRS. WALSH. [PHIL] MRS. WALSH. NANCY. LINCOLN. WALSH. OKAY, THANKS VERY MUCH. [NANCY] HEY… HEY! [RADIO] STRIKE UP THE MUSIC THE BAND HAS BEGUN THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA [PHIL] NANCY? NANCY TAYLOR? LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL. I SAT NEXT TO YOU IN MRS. WALSH’ ENGLISH CLASS. [NANCY] OH. I’M SORRY… [PHIIL] PHIL CONNORS. [NANCY] WOW, THAT’S AMAZING. [PHIL] YOU DON’T ME, DO YOU? [NANCY] UM… [PHIL] I EVEN ASK YOU TO THE PROM. [NANCY] PHIL CONNORS? [PHIL] I WAS SHORT, AND I’VE SPROUTED. [NANCY] YEAH… GOSH, HOW ARE YOU? [PHIL] GREAT. YOU LOOK TERRIFIC. YOU LOOK VERY, VERY TERRIFIC. LISTEN, I GOT TO GO DO THIS REPORT. [NANCY] ARE YOU A REPORTER?

[PHIL] I’M A WEATHERMAN WITH CHANNEL 9 PITTSBURGH. [NANCY] WOW! GOSH, I SHOULD HAVE KNOW. THAT’S GREAT. [PHIL] MAYBE LATEER WE COULD… [NANCY] YEAH, WHATEVER. [PHIL] STAY RIGHT HERE. YOU PROMISE ME? [NANCY] YES. [PHIL] I’LL BE BACK. WISH ME LUCK. [NANCY] GOOD LUCK! [NANCY] OH, PHIL! OH, PHIL! [PHIL] OH, RITA. [NANCY] WHO’S RITA? [PHIL] HOW SHOULD I KNOW? [NANCY] WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF ONE-NIGHT STAND? [PHIL] ON THE CONTRARY, NANCY. I LOVE YOU. I’VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU. THIS IS GOING TO SEEM SUDDEN, BUT… NANCY, WILL YOU BE MY WIFE? [NANCY] OH, PHIL. [PHIL] RITA… [NANCY] NANCY. [PHIL] WHATEVER. [PHIL] A GUST OF WIND.

A DOG BARKS. (dog barking) CUE THE TRUCK. EXIT HERMAN. WALK INTO THE BANK. EXIT FELIX AND STAND THERE. WITH A NOT-SO-BRIGHT LOOK ON YOU FACE ALL RIGHT, DORIS. COME ON. FIX YOUR BAR, HONEY. THAT’S BETTER. “FELIX.” “HOW YOU DOING, DORIS?” “CAN I HAVE A ROLL OF QUARTERS?” TEN… NINE… EIGHT… CAR… SIX… FIVE… QUARTERS… THREE… TWO…

[HERMAN] FELIX, DID I BRING OUT TWO BAGS OR ONE? [FILIX] I DON’T KNOW. (spurs jingling) [GIRL] I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO A COSTUME PARTY. (imitating Clint Eastwood: ) [PHIL] IT’S LIKE I SAID. I LOVE THIS FILM. I’VE SEEN IT OVER 100 TIMES. [GIRL] PHIIL! [PHIL] TOLD YOU, CALL ME BRONCO. [GIRL] SORRT, BRONCO. [PHIL] HI YA, NANCY. MY OWN FIANCE DOESN’T ME. WOMAN: HI. [GIRL] HI. [PHIL] THAT WILL BE ONE ADULT, AND… [GIRL] TWO ADULTS. [PHIL] TWO ADULTS, I GUESS. …groundhog, who, as legend has it can predict the coming of an early spring. So I guess the question we have to ask ourselves today is does Phil feel lucky? GOUNDHOG. DAY#6 [PHIL] RITA, IF YOU ONLY HAD ONE DAY TO LIVE WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT?

[RITA] I DON’T KNOW, PHIL. WHAT ARE YOU DYING FOR? [PHIL] NO… I MEAN, THE WHOLE WORLD IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE. WHAT DO YOU DO? [RITA] I’D JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE TO PUT THE CARMRA. WHAT ARE YOU LOIOKING FOR? A DATE FOR THE WEEKEND? [PHIL] NO. I’M JUST INTERESTED IN YOU. WHAT DO YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU LIKE? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT? WHAT KIND OF MEN ARE YOU INTERESTED IN? WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? [RITA] IS THIS FOR REAL OR ARE YOR TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL? [PHIL] I’ M TRYING TO TALK LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE. ISN’T THIS HOW THEY TALK? [RITA] CLOSE. … [PHIL] SO TALK TO ME. LET ME BUY YOU A CUP OF COFFIEE…AND A DOUGHNUT. [RITA] ALL RIGHT. Phil: SO WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE, ANYWAY? [RITA] I GUESS I WANT WANT EVERYBODY WANTS. YOU KNOW, CAREER, LOVE, MAGGIAGE, CHILDREN.

[PHIL] ARE YOU SEEING ANYONE? [RITA] THIS IS GETTING TOO PERSONAL. I DON’T THINK I’M READY TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU. HOW ABOUT YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT? [PHIL] WHAT I REALLY WANT IS SOMEONE LIKE YOU. [RITA] OH, PLEASE. [PHIL] WELL, WHY NOT? WHAT ARE LOOKING FOR? WHO IS YOUR PERFFECT GUY? [RITA] WELL, FIRST OF ALL HE’S TO HUMBLE TO KNOW HE’S PERFFCT. [PHIL] THAT’S ME. [RITA] HE’S INTELLIGENT, IVE FUNNY. [PHIL] INTELLIGENT, IVE, FUNNY…ME, ME, ME. [RITA] HE’S ROMANTIC AND COURAGEOUS. [PHIL] ME, ALSO. [RITA] A GOOD BOY. BUT HE DOESN’T LOOK IN THE MIRROR EVERY TWO MINUTES. [PHIL] I HAVE A GREAT BODY. AND SOMETIMES, I GO MONTHS WITHOUT LOOKING. [RITA] HE’S KIND, SENSITIVE, AND GENTLE. HE’S NOT AFRAID TO CRY IN FRONT OF ME. [PHIL] THIS IS A MAN WE’RE TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT?

[RITA] HE LIKES ANIMALS AND CHILDREN AND HE’LL CHANGE POOPY DIAPERS. [PHIL] DOES HE HAVE TO USE THE WORD “POOPY”? [RITA] OH, AND HE PLAYS AN INSTRUMENT AND HE LOVES HIS MOTHER. [PHIL] I AM REALLY CLOSE ON THIS ONE. REALLY, REALLY CLOSE. Phil & Rita - Take 1 [GIRL] IT’S PHIL CONNORS. [PHIL] HELLO. THANKS FOR WATCHING. [PHIL] SO WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF GETTING OUT TODAY? [RITA] VAN STILL WON’T START. LARRY’S WORKING ON IT. [PHIL] WOULDN’T YOU KNOW IT. CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? [RITA] OKAY. [PHIL] JIM BEAM, ICE, WATER. [BARTENDER] FOR YOU, MISS? [RITA] SWEET VERMOUTH ON THE ROCKS WITH A TWIST, PLEASE. Phil & Rita – Take 2 [PHIL] WHAT ARE THE CHANCE OF GETTING OUT OF TODAY? [RITA] THE VAN STILL WON’T START. LARRY’S WORKING

ON IT. [PHIL] WOULDN’T YOU KNOW IT. CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? [RITA] OKAY. [PHIL] SWEET VERMOUTH, ROCKS, WITH A TWIST, PLEASE. [BARTENDER] FOR YOU, MISS? [RITA] THE SAME. THAT MY FAVORITE DRINK. [PHIL] MINE TOO. [PHIL] IT ALWAYS MAKES ME THINK OF ROME… THE WAY THE SUN HITS THE BUILDINGS IN THE AFTERNOON. [RITA] OH WHAT SHOULD WE DRINK TO? [PHIL] TO THE GROUNDFOG. [RITA] I ALWAYS DRINK TO THE WORLD PEACE Phil & Rita – Take 3 [PHIL] CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK? [RITA] OKAY. [PHIL] SWEET VERMOUTH, ROCKS, WITH A TWIST, PLEASE. [BARTENDER] FOR YOU, MISS? [RITA] THE SAME. THAT MY FAVORITE DRINK. [PHIL] MINE TOO. [PHIL] IT ALWAYS MAKES ME THINKS OF ROME… THE WAY THE SUN HITS THE BUILDINGS IN THE AFTERNOON.

[RITA] WHAT SHOULD WE DRINK TO? [PHIL] I LIKE TO SAY A PRAYER AND DRINK TO WORLD PEACE [RITA] TO WORLD PEACE. [PHIL] WORLD PEACE. AMEM. [RITA] THIS IS WONDERFUL. [PHIL] SEE, DON’T I TELL YOU? [RITA] HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT PUNXSUTAWENY? [PHIL] I’VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME HERE. SMALL-TOWN PEOPLE ARE MORE REAL, MORE DOWN TO EARTH. [RITA] THAT’S HOW I FELL. [PHIL] WOULD YOU WANT TO TRY SOME WHITE CHOCOLATE? [RITA] YUCK. DON’T MAKE ME SICK. [PHIL] NO WHITE CHOCOLATE, [RITA] THERE IS SOMETHING SO FAMILIAR ABOUT THIS. DO YOU EVER HAVE DÉJÀ VU? [PHIL] DIDN’T YOU TUST ASK ME THAT? [PHIL] I THINK PEOPLE PLACE TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON THEIR CAREERS. I WISH WE COULD ALL LIVE IH THE

MOUNTAINS AT HIGH ALTITUDE. THAT’S WHERE I SEE MYSELF IN FIVE YEARS. HOW ABOUT YOU? [RITA] OH, I AGREE. I JUST LIKE TO GO WITH THE FLOW. SEE WHERE IT LEADS ME. [PHIL] WELL, IT’S LED YOU HERE. [RITA] MM-HMM. OF COURSE, IT’S ABOUT A MILLION MILES FROM WHERE I STARTED OUT IN COLLEGE. [PHIL] YOU WEREN’T IN BROADCASTING AND JOURNALISM? [RITA] HMM-MM. BELIEVE IT OR NOT. I STUDIED 19TH-CENTURY FRENCH POETRY. [PHIL] WHAT A WASTE OF TIME. I MEAN, FOR SOMEONE ELSE THAT WOULD BE AN INCREDIBLE WASTE OF TIME. IT WAS SO BOLD OF YOU TO CHOOSE THAT. IT’S INCREDIBLE.YOU MUST BE A VERY STRONG PERSON. [PHIL] I THINK PEOPLE PLACE TOO MUCH EMPHASIS ON THEIR CAREERS. GOSH, I WISH WE COULD ALL LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS AT HIGH ALTITUDES. THAT’S WHERE I SEE MYSELF IN FIVE YEARS. HOW ABOUT YOU? [RITA] OH, I AGREE. I JUST LIKE TO GO WITH THE FLOW.

SEE WHAT HAPPENS. [PHIL] WELL, IT’S GOTTON YOU HERE. [RITA] UH-HUH. OF COURSE, IT’S A MILLION MILES FROM WHERE I STARTED OUT IN COLLEGE. [PHIL] YOU WEREN’T IN BROADCASTING OR JOURNALISM? [RITA] UH-UH. BELIEVE IT OR NOT I STUDIED 19th-CENTURY FRENCH POETRY. [PHIL] LA FILLE QUI J’AIMERAIS SERA COMME MON FRERE (speaking French) UN PEU, CHAQUE MATIN. [RITA] YOU SPEAK FRENCH. [PHIL] OUI. [PHIL] CATCH UP. I HAVEN’T DONE THIS SINCE I WAS A KID. [RITA] ME NEITHER. IT’S FUN. [PHIL] IT’S GOOD, CLEAN FUN. I HOPE THAT, ONE DAY I CAN DO THIS WITH MY OWN CHILDREN. [RITA] WHERE DID YOU GET THAT? [PHIL] WELL, I WENT OVER TO THE SNOWMAN SHOP. HEY, AN ASSASSIN! I’LL PROTECT YOU, YOUR MAJESTY. I SHALL DIE FOR YOU. YOU SHALL NOT TAKE HER.

FIND COVER, MY LADY. Boy: HEY, NICE ARM. I’M GETTING SOME GOOD ONES. HEY, THERE’S A BOY. THAT’S A BOY. GOOD TRY, SON. [RITA] HELP ME. **YOU GIVE YOUR HAND TO ME AND THEN YOU SAY HELLO AND I CAN HARDLY SPEAK MY HEART IS BEATING SO AND ANYONE CAN TELL YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME WELL BUT YOU DON’T KNOW ME NO, YOU DON’T KNOW ME NO, YOU DON’T KNOW THE ONE WHO DREAMS OF YOU AT NIGHT AND LONGS TO KISS YOUR LIPS AND LONGS TO HOLD YOU TIGHT OH, I’M JUST A FRIEND THAT’S ALL I’VE EVER BEEN ‘CAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW ME.** [RITA] OH.

[PHIL] WHAT? [RITA] I’M JUST AMAZED. AND I’M NOT EASILY AMAZED. [PHIL] ABOUT WHAT? [RITA] HOW YOU CAN START A DAY WITH ONE KIND OF EXPECTATION AND END UP SO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. [PHIL] WELL, DO YOU LIKE THE WAY THIS DAY IS TURNING OUT? [RITA] I LIKE IT VERY MUCH.IT’S A PERFECT DAY. YOU COULDN’T HAVE PLANNED A DAY LIKE THIS. [PHIL] WELL, YOU CAN. IT JUST TAKES AN AWFUL LOT OF WORK.COME ON IN. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. [RITA] I DON’T THINK I SHOULD. [PHIL] I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD, EITHER. I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU THIS ONE THING AND KICK YOU RIGHT OUT. [RITA] IT’S JUST LOVELY. [PHIL] WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT AND STARE AT THE FAKE FIRE? [RITA] OKAY. IT’S REALLY A WONDERFUL ROOM. [PHIL] IT IS NOW. [RITA] I DON’T KNOW, PHIL. I DON’T THINK WE SHOULD DO THIS. [PHIL] I DON’T, EITHER.

NO, ON SECOND THOUGH, I THINK WE SHOULD. IT’S THE PERFECT END TO A PERFECT DAY. [RITA] WELL, IT’S A LITTLE FAST FOR ME. [PHIL] ME TOO. [RITA] MAYBE I SHOULD GO. [PHIL] WHERE WOULD YOU GO? WHY? WE’VE GOT A PERFECT FIRE. I’VE GOT SOME FRENCH POETRY HERE. BAUDELAIRE? C’EST FANTASTIQUE. I WELL READ TO YOU. I’VE GOT SOME ICE CREAM OVER ON THIS WINDOWSILL. HOLD ON A MINUTE. ROCKY ROAD. [RITA] OH, I LOVE ROCKY ROAD. [PHIL] YEAH, I THOUGHT SO. YOU HAVE TO STAY. [RITA] NO, REALLY,PHIL, I’M TIRED. WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER TOMORROW. [PHIL] NO. TONIGHT. IT’S GOT TO BE TONIGHT.

[RITA] NO, PHIL, REALLY. [PHIL] COME ON, JUST STAY FOR A WHILE AND IF YOU LIKE IT, STAY FOR A WHILE LONGER. [RITA] LET’S NOT SPOIL IT, OKAY? [PHIL] I’M NOT SPOILING IT. I DON’T WANT TO SPOIL IT, EITHER. [RITA] YOU KNOW I CAN’T STAY WITH YOU. [PHIL] WHY NOT? I LOVE YOU. [RITA] YOU LOVE ME? [PHIL] I LOVE YOU. [RITA] YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME. [PHIL] OH I KNOW YOU. I KNOW YOU. [RITA] OH, NO. I CAN’T BELIEVE I FELL FOR THIS. THIS WHOLE DAY HAS JUST BEEN ONE LONG SETUP. [PHIL] NO, IT HASN’T. [RITA] AND I HATE FUDGE. YUCK [PHIL] NO WHITE CHOCOLATE, NO FUDGE. [RITA] ARE YOU MAKING SOME KIND OF LIST OR SOMETHING? DID YOU CALL UP MY FRIENDS AND ASK

WHAT I LIKE AND DON’T LIKE? IS THIS WHAT LOVE IS FOR YOU? [PHIL] NO, THIS IS REAL. [RITA] STOP SAYING THAT. YOU MUST BE CRAZY. I COULD NEVER LOVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU’LL NEVER LOVE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. [PHIL] I DON’T EVEN LIKE MYSELF. GIVE MA ANOTHER CHANCE. [RITA] THAT’S FOR MAKING ME CARE ABOUT YOU. [PHIL] I HAVEN’T DONE THIS SINCE I WAS A KID. [RITA] ME NEITHER. IT’S FUN. [PHIL] AND GOOD, CLEAN FUN TOO. GOSH, I CAN’T WAIT TO DO THIS WITH MY OWN CHILDREN. I WANT KIDS, LOTS OF KIDS. I WANT TO ADOPT. I WANT TO HAVE MY OWN KIDS. I WANT TO HAVE FOSTER KIDS. HEY, SOME KID JUST THREW A SNOWBALL AT US. LET’S HAVE SOME FUN. COME ON. HEY KIDS, COME ON.

I WISH THESE WERE MY OWN KIDS HITTING ME LIKE THAT. HEY! OW, OW! ARE ANY OF YOU ADOPTION? HERE’S A HUMDINGER OVER HERE. WASN’T THAT GREAT? [RITA] STOP IT. **STRIKE UP THE MUSIC THE BAND HAS BEGUN** Rita: PHIL, OVER HERE. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU’RE MISSING ALL THE FUN. PHIL, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE. WHAT HAPPENED? ROUGH NIGHT? [PPIL] [PHIL] YEAH. OKAY, CAMPERS, RISE AND SHINE. AND DON’T FORGET YOUR BOOTIES ‘CAUSE IT’S COLD OUT THERE TODAY. IT’S COLD OUT THERE EVERY DAY. Alex Trebek：”This country’s largest lake, Chapala is located near the city of Guadalajara,” [PHIL] WHAT IS MEXICO? What is Mexico?

“Lakes and Rivers,” 400. “Seneca is the largest of these lakes…”WHAT [PHIL] ARE THE FINGER LAKES? What are the Finger Lakes? Correct. “This South American lake drains into…” [PHIL] WHAT IS TITICACA? What is Titicaca? Correct. “Lakes and Rivers” for 1000. “Milky colored…” [PHIL] WHAT IS THE RHONE? “…this river is blue upon exiting.” What is the Rhone? The Rhone, good, for $1,000. You are $500 off the lead. [PHIL] VERY GOOD. THIS IS PITIFUL. 1,000 PEOPLE FREEZING THEIR BUTTS OFF WAITING TO WORSHIP A RAT. WHAT A HYPE. GROUNDHOG DAY

USED TO MEAN SOMETHING IN THIS TOWN. THEY USED TO PULL THE HOG OUT AND EAT IT.YOU’RE HYPOCRITES, ALL OF YOU! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH WHAT I’M SAYING, LARRY? UNTIE YOUR TONGUE. COME HERE AND TALK. AM I UPSETTING YOU PRINCESS? YOU KNOW, YOU WANT A PREDICTION ABOUT THE WEATHER YOU’RE ASKING THE WRONG PHIL. I’LL GIVE YOU A WINTER PREDICTION. IT’S GOING TO BE COLD… IT’S GOING TO BE GRAY… AND IT’S GOING TO LAST YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Then put your little hand in mine… （clattering） Then put your little hand in mine ‘Cause there ain’t no hill or mount… Then put your little hand in mine ‘Cause there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb （clattering） （tinny and distorted:）I got you, babe.

[PHIL] ONCE AGAIN, THE EYES OF THE NATION HAVE TURNED HERE, TO THIS… TINY VILLAGE IN WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA BLAH, BLAH－BLAH, BLAH－BLAH. THERE IS NO WAYTHAT THIS WINTER IS EVER GOING TO END AS LONG AS THIS GROUNDHOG KEEPS SEETING HIS SHADOW. I DON’T SEE AN OTHER WAY. HE’S GOT TO BE STOPPED. AND I HAVE TO STOP HIM. [LARRY] REAL GOOD, PHIL. REAL GOOD. [RITA] HE’S OUT OF HIS GOURD. I’M WORRIED. I THINK THERE’S SOMETHING REALLY WRONG WITH PHIL. [LARRY] YEAH. THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS REALLY WRONG WITH PHIL. [RITA] OH, HI, PHIL. [PHIL] I’VE COME TO THE END OF ME, RITA. THERE’S NO WAY OUT NOW. I JUST WANT YOU TO . WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL DAY TOGETHER ONCE. [MAN] ALL RIGHT, LITTLE FELLA, GOOD JOB. HE JUST SMILED AT ME!

DID YOU SEE THAT? I BELIEVE HE DID. （both laughing） OKAY, LITTLE FELLA, THERE YOU GO. [MAN] HI, THERE, MISTER. SOMETHING I CAN DO YOU FOR? HEY! HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HEY! JAKE! GET THE WORD OUT! SOMEBODY KIDNAPPED PHIL! WE’RE GOING AFTER HIM. （tires screeching） [RITA] WHY WOULD ANYBODY STEAL A GROUNDHOG? [LARRY] I CAN THINK OF A COUPLE OF REASONS. PERVERT. [RITA] HE MUST HAVE JUST SNAPPED. [LARRY] THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD. （tiers screening） [RITA] WHAT IS HE DOING? WHAT CAN HE BE THINKING? [PHIL] THAT’S NOT BAD FOR A QUADRUPED. YOU GOT TO CHECK YOUR MIRRORS.

JUST SIDE OF YOUR EYE. THAT’S IT, THAT’S IT. HEY, THEY’RE CHASING US! COME ON, MAKE IT FUN. （squawks） DON’T DRIVE ANGRY. DON’T DRIVE ANGRY! [MAN] HOT DOG! THERE’S NO WAY OUT EXCEPT THE WAY WE CAME IN. WE GOT HIM NOW. （truck engine revving） （truck engine revving louder） [LARRY] WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING? [RITA] I DON’T KNOW. [MAN] IF YOU SHOOT, AIM HIGH. DON’T HIT THE GROUNDHOG. [PHIL] WE MUSTN’T KEEP OUR PUBLIC WAITING.. （chattering and whimpering） IT’S SHOW TIME, PHIL. ALL RIGHT, ON ME, LARRY, IN THERE… TWO… ONE… [RITA]PHIL!

[LARRY] HE MIGHT BE OKAY. WELL, NO, PROBABLY NOT NOW. **Then put your little hand in mine. ‘Cause there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb** [PHIL] AW, NUTS. [MRS. LANCASTER]DID YOU SLEEP WELL, MR. CONNORS? WOULD YOU LIKE SOMEM, UH, TOAST? （crackling） OH, MY GOD! （honking） （tires screening） （thud） （church bells ringing） [RITA] THAT’S HIM. [LARRY]HE WAS A …REALLY, REALLY GREAT GUY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKED HIM. A LOT. Phil Convinces Rita [RITA] I’M SORRY? WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN? [PHIL] I’M A GOD. [RITA] YOU’RE A GOD. [PHIL] I’M A GOD, I’M NOT THE GOD…I DON’T THINK. [RITA] BECAUSE YOU SURVIVED A CAR WRECK?

[DORIS] YOU FOLKS READY? [PHIL] I DIDN’T JUST SURVIVE A WRECK. I WASN’T JUST BLOWN UP. I HAVE BEEN STABBED, SHOT, POISONED, FROZEN, HUNG, ELECTROCUTED AND BURNED. [RITA] OH, REALLY? [PHIL] EVERY MORNING, I WAKE UP WITHOUT A SCRATCH… NOT A DENT IN THE FENDER. I AM AN IMMORTAL. [DORIS] SPECIAL TODAY IS BLUEBERRY WAFFLES. [RITA] WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? [PHIL] BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BELIEVE IN ME. [RITA] YOU’RE NOT A GOD. TAKE MY WORD. THIS IS 12 YEARS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOL TALKING. [DORIS] I COULD COME BACK IF YOU’RE NOT READY. [PHIL] HOW DO YOU KNOW I’M NOT A GOD? [RITA] OH, PLEASE! [PHIL] HOW DO YOU KNOW? [RITA] IT’S NOT POSSIBLE! (whispering: ) [DORIS] I’LL COME BACK. DORIS. THIS IS DORIS.

HER BROTHER-IN-LAW OWNS THIS DINER. SHE’S WORKED HERE SINCE SHE WAS 17. MORE THAN ANYTHING SHE WANTS TO SEE PARIS BEFORE SHE DIES. [DORIS] OH, BOY, WOULD I. [PHIL] THIS IS DEBBIE KLEISER AND HER FIANCEE. [DEBBIE] DO I KNOW YOU? [PHIL] THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING MARRIED TODAY BUT DEBBIE IS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTIS. [DEBBIE’S FIANCEE] WHAT? ! [RITA] LOVELY RING. [PHIL] THIS IS BELL. HE’S BEEN A WAITER SINCE HE LEFT PENN STATE. HE LIKES THE TOWN, HE PAINTS TOY SOLDIERS AND HE’S GAY. [BILL] I AM. [PHIL] THIS IS GUS. HE WISHES HE STAYED IN THE NAVY. [GUS] I COULD HAVE RETIRED ON HALF-PAY AFTER 20 YEARS. [RITA] IS THIS SOME TRICK?

[PHIL] MAYBE THE REAL GOD USES TRICKS. MAYBE HE’S NOT OMNIPOTENT. HE’S BEEN AROUND SO LONG HE KNOWS EVERYTHING. [RITA] OKAY. WHO’S THAT? [PHIL] THIS IS TOM. HE WORKED IN THE MINE. [RITA] AND HER? [PHIL] THAT’S ALICE, FROM IRELAND SHE LIVED IN EERIE. [ALICE] HE’S RIGHT. [RITA] AND HER? [PHIL] NANCY. SHE MAKES NOISES LIKE A CHIPMUNK WHEN SHE GETS EXCITED. [NANCY] HEY! [PHIL] IT’S TRUE. [RITA] HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM? [PHIL] I KNOW EVERYTHING. IN FIVE SECONDS, A WAITER WILL DROP A TRAY. FIVE, FOUR… [RITA] THIS IS NUTS. [PHIL] OKAY? [RITA] OKAY, THAT’S ENOUGH. [RITA] WHAT ABOUT ME, PHIL? DO YOU KNOW ME TOO? [PHIL] YOU LIKE PRODUCING

BUT YOU’RE HOPING FOR MORE THEN CHANNEL 9, PITTSBURGH. [RITA] WELL, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. [PHIL] YOU LIKE A BOATS, BUT NOT THE OCEAN. YOU GO TO LAKE IN THE SUMMER WITH YOUR FAMILY. THERE’S A WOODEN DOCK AND A BOATHOUSE WITH BOARDS MISSING FROM THE ROOF AND A PLACE YOU CRAWLED UNDERNEACH TO BE ALONE. YOU’RE A SUCKER FOR FRANCH POETRY AND RHINESTONES. YOU’RE VERY GENEROUS. YOU’RE KIND TO STRANGERS AND CHILDREN WHEN YOU STAND IN THE SNOW YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL. [RITA] HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS? [PHIL] I TOLD YOU. I WAKE UP EVERY DAY RIGHT HERE RIGHT IN PUNXSUTAWNEY, AND IT’S ALWAYS FEBURARY 2 AND THERE’S NOTHING. I CAN DO ABOUT IT. IF YOU STILL CAN’T BELIEVE ME, LISTEN: IN TEN SECONDS LARRY IS GOING TO COME THROUGH THAT DOOR AND TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME, BUT YOU CAN’T LET HIM. [RITA] LARRY?

[PHIL] PLEASE, BELIEVE ME. YOU’VE GOT TO BELIEVE ME. [LARRY] YOU GUYS READY? WE BETTER GET GOING IF WE’RE GOING TO STAY AHEAD OF THE WEATHER. [LARRY] WHAT’S THAT? [RITA] “…IF WE’RE GOING TO STAY AHEADE OF THE WEATHER.” MAYBE IT REALLY IS HAPPENING. I MEAN, HOW ELSE COULD YOU KNOW SO MUCH? [PHIL] THERE IS NO WAY. I’M NOT THAT SMART. [RITA] MAYBE I SHOULD SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY WITH YOU US AN OBJECTIVE WITNESS,JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS. [PHIL] GEE, THIS SOUNDS LIKE A SCIENCE PROJECT. CONCENTRATE. YOU GOT TO WANT IT. YOU’VE GOT TO WANT IT, RITA. OH, COME ON. IT’S MORE IN THE WRISTS THAN THE FINGERS. YOU JUST GOT TO…

（whistles tunelessly） （whistles tunelessly） （laughs） BE THE HAT, COME ON, GO. BE THE HAT. [RITA] IT WOULD TAKE ME A YEAR TO GET GOOD AT THIS. [PHIL] NO. SIX MONTHS, FIVE HOURS A DAY AND YOU’D BE AN EXPERT. [RITA] IS THIS WHAT YOU DO WITH ETERNITY? [PHIL] NOW YOU KNOW. THAT’S NOT THE WORST PART. [RITA] WHAT’S THE WORST PART? [PHIL] THE WORST PART IS THAT TOMORROW, YOU WILL HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT THIS AND YOU’LL TREAT ME LIKE A JERK AGAIN. [RITA] NO! [PHIL] IT’S ALL RIGHT. I AM A JERK. [RITA] NO, YOU’RE NOT. [PHIL] IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE. I’VE KILLED MYSELF SO MANY TIMES I DON’T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. [RITA] WELL, SOMETIMES, I WISH I HAD A THOUSAND LIFETIMES. I DON’T KNOW, PHIL.

MAYBE IT’S NOT A CURSE. IT JUST DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT. [PHIL] GOSH, YOU’RE AN UPBEAT LADY. [RITA] I WANT YOU TO KNOW, IT’S BEEN A REALLY NICE DAY FOR ME. [PHIL] ME TOO. [RITA] AND MAYBE, IF IT’S NOT TOO BORING WE COULD DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME. [PHIL] I HOPE SO. [RITA] YOU’RE STILL HERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DISAPPEAR OR I WAS, OR SOMETHING. [PHIL] NOT UNTLL 6:00. [RITA] OH! YOU RAT! [PHIL] I NEVER SAID MIDNIGHT. [RITA] YOU KNEW I WAS WAITING FOR MIDNIGHT. [PHIL] DOES THIS MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE? [RITA] NO. [PHIL] GOOD. [RITA] OKAY. [RITA] OH, I’M SORRY. [PHIL] THAT’S ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN FALL ASLEEP.

I PROMISE I WON’T TOUGH YOU… [RITA] HMM… [PHIL] …MUCH. [RITA] THAT’S ALL RIGHT. I’M… I’M NOT TIRED. WHAT WERE YOU SAYING? [PHIL] I THINK THE LAST THING THAT YOU HEARD WAS, “ONLY GOD CAN MAKE A TREE.” [RITA] MMM. [PHIL] WHAT I WANTED TO SAY WAS I THINK YOU’RE THE KINDEST, SWEETEST, PRETTIEST PERSON THAT I’VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE THAT’S NICER TO PEOPLE THAN YOU ARE. [RITA] HMM… [PHIL] THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU, SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ME. I NEVER TOLD YOU, BUT… I KNEW THAT I WANTED TO HOLD YOU AS HARD AS I COULD. (sighing) I DON’T DESERVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU. BUT IF I EVER COULD I SWEAR, I WOULD LOVE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

[RITA] DID YOU SAY SOMETHING? [PHIL] GOOD NIGHT, RITA. [RITA] GOOD NIGHT, PHIL. **Then put your little hand in mine ‘Cause there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb Babe I got you, babe I got you, babe.** Deejay #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine and don’t forget your booties, ‘cause it’s cold out there. Deejay #2: It’s cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach? Deejay #1: Not hardly. UH..? (gasping) **STRIKE UP THE MUSIC THE BAND HAS BEGUN THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA PICK OUT YOUR PARTNER AND IN THE FUN THE PENNSYLVANIA POLKA IT STARTED IN SCRANTON, IT’S NOW NUMBER ONE…** [PHIL] WHO WANTS COFFEE? GET IT WHILE IT’S HOT. [RITA] OH, THANKS, PHIL.

[PHIL] LARRY? SKIM MILK, TWO SUGAR. [LARRY] YEAH. THANKS, PHIL. [PHIL] PASTRY? [RITA] NO, WE’RE SETTING UP. [PHIL] PASTRY, LARRY? TAKE YOUR PICK. [LARRY] THANKS, PHIL. RASPBERRY. GREAT. [PHIL] I WAS TALKING WITH BUSTER GREEN, THE HEAD GROUNDHOG HONCHO. IF WE SET UP OVER HERE, WE MIGHT GET A BETTER SHOT. WHAT DO YOU THINK? [RITA] SOUNDS GOOD. [PHIL] LARRY, WHAT DO YOU THINK? [LARRY] YEAH, LET’S GO FOR IT. [RITA] GOOD WORK, PHIL. [PHIL] MAYBE WE’LL GET LUCKY. LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THE HEAVE STUFF. NO, NO, NO. YOU GOT YOUR COFFEE. I’LL GET IT. [PHIL] WE NEVER TALK, LARRY. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? [PIANO TEACHER] YES?

[PHIL] YES, I’D LIKE A PIANO LESSON, PLEASE. [PIANO TEACHER] I’M WITH A STUDENT, BUT COME BACK TOMORROW… [PHIIL] WELL, I KIND OF WANT TO GET STARTED. I COULD GIVE YOU $1,000. [PIANO TEACHER] COME ON IN. (playing C scale) [MAN] MORNING! OFF TO SEE THE GROUNDHOG. [PHIL] BON JOURND, SIGNORE. [MAN] YOU THINK IT’S GOING TO BE AN EARLY SPRING? [PHIL] “WINTER, SLUMBERING IN THE OPEN AIR WEARS ON HIS SMILING FACE A DREAM OF SPRING,” CIAO. [MAN] CIAO. (playing arpeggios haltingly) [RITA] PHIL! [PHIL] RITA, HI. HEY, LAR, HI. HOW’S SHE LOOK? [RITA] GREAT. [PHIL] THANK YOU. [LARRY] DID YOU KNOW HE COULD ICE SCULPT? [RITA] NO.

(playing “La Bouree Du Celibataire”) NOT BAD, MR. CONNORS. [PIANO TEACHER] YOU SAY THIS IS YOUR FIRST LESSON? [PHIL] YES, BUT MY FATHER WAS A PIANO MOVER, SO… [NED] PHIL? PHIL CONNORS, I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU. [PHIL] NED RYERSON. [NED] YES. [PHIL] I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU’RE HEADED BUT CAN YOU CALL IN SICK? [NED] UH… I GOT TO GET GOING. UH… IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU, PHIL. [PHIL] HELLO, FATHER. LET’S GET YOU SOMEPLACE WARM, ALL RIGHT? [OLD MAN] YOU… [PHIL] YEAH. YEAH, ME? [NURSE] SIR, ARE YOU THE ONE WHO BROUGHT THE OLD MAN IN? [PHIL] MM-HMM. HOW IS HE? [NURSE] WELL, HE JUST ED AWAY. [PHIL] WHAT DID HE DIE OF? [NURSE] HE WAS JUST OLD. IT WAS JUST HIS TIME.

[PHIL] I WANT TO SEE HIS CHART. EXCUSE ME. [NURSE] UM, SIR… SIR, YOU CAN’T COME IN HERE. SIR, THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA. [PHIL] WHERE’S THE CHART? [NURSE] SOMETIMES, PEOPLE JUST DIE. [PHIL] NOT TODAY. IT’S HARD DOWN THERE AT THE BOTTOM. [WAITRESS] HERE YOU GO. [PHIL] THANK YOU. COME ON, DAD. COME ON, POP. COME ON, POP. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, BREATHE. BREATHE, POP. BREATHE, POP! A Long , Lustrous Winter [PHIL] WHEN CHEKHOV SAW THE LONG WINTER HE SAW A WINTER BLEAK AND DARK AND BEREFT OF HOPE YET WE KNOW THAT WINTER IS JUST ANOTHER STEP IN THE CYCLE OF LIFE. BUT STANDING HERE AMONG THE PEOPLE OF

PUNXSUTAWNEY AND BASKING IN THE WARMTH OF THEIR HEARTHS AND HEARTS I COULDN’T IMAGINE A BETTER FATE THAN A LONG AND LUSTROUS WINTER. FROM PUNXSUTAWNEY, IT’S PHIL CONNORS. SO LONG. NICE SPEECH, PHIL. VERY NICE. [PHIL] THANKS. HOW WAS THAT FOR YOU TWO? [LARRY] HEY, MAN, YOU TOUCHED ME. [PHIL] THANKS, LARRY. THANK YOU. I GOT TO GO, OKAY. [RITA] PHIL, THAT WAS… SURPRISING. I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE SO VERSATILE. [PHIL] I SURPRISE MYSELF SOMETIMES. [RITA] WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE? [PHIL] I’D LOVE TO. CAN I HAVE A RAIN CHECK? I’VE GOT SOME ERRANDS I’VE GOT TO RUN, OKAY? [RITA] PHIL… ERRANDS? WHAT ERRANDS? I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING BACK.

[PHIL] HEY, HOLD IT, FELLA! (yelling) (groaning) [PHIL] WHAT DO YOU SAY? WHAT DO YOU SAY? WHAT DO YOU SAY, YOU LITTLE BRAT? YOU HAVE NEVER THANKED ME. I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. MAYBE. (groaning) (THREE OLD WOMEN) NOW WHAT? YOU’VE TOTALED IT. IT’S ONLY A FLAT TIRE. JUST BE PATIENT. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? IT’S AN EARTHQUAKE. IT’S NOT AN EARTHQUAKE. WHAT IS IT? OH, THANK YOU, YOUNG MAN. [PHIL] IT’S NOTHING, MA’AM. I HAD THE TIRE AND THE JACK. JUST BE COMFORTABLE, ALL RIGHT? BE A MINUTE.

(OLD WOMEN) WHO IS THAT? MUST BE FROM THE MOTOR CLUB. [WOMAN] OH, MY GOD, HE IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK. DO SOMETHING. AN AMBULANCE, A LAWYER, ANYTHING. OH, MY GOD. (gasping) [PHIL] I THINK THAT DID IT. (panting) IF YOU’RE GOING TO EAT STEAK GET SOME SHARPER TEETH, ALL RIGHT? ENJOY YOUR MEAL. [WOMAN] OH, THANK YOU. [MAN] WHO WAS THAT? I’M FINE. [WOMAN] ARE YOU SURE? [MAN] OH, YES. EAT, EAT, EAT. Larry: PEOPLE JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS INVOLVED IN THIS. THIS IS AN ART FORM. YOU KNOW, I THINK MOST PEOPLE JUST THINK I HOLD THE CAMERA AND POINT IT AT STUFF BUT THERE IS A LOT MORE TO IT THAN JUST THAT.

WOULDYOU BE INTERESTED IN SEEING THE INSIDE OF THE VAN? [NANCY] OH, YOU KNOW I REALLY HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE PARTY. [LARRY] GREAT IDEA. I’LL GO WITH YOU. LET ME JUST DROP A TIP HERE. OKAY. [LARRY] RITA, HI. HOW ARE YOU? RITA, THIS IS NANCY. [RITA] HI. [NANCY] HI. [LARRY] WE WERE JUST GOING TO THE PARTY. YOU GOING TO GO? [RITA] YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE FUN. MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL PHIL. [NANCY] I THINK. HE’S ALREADY IN THERE. [LARRY] GREAT. (boogie-woogie piano playing) (music stops) (applause) (playing ballad) (playing jazz) (playing rock) [PIANO TEACHER] ISN’T HE GOOD?

[RITA] HE’S GREAT. [PIANO TEACHER] HE’S MY STUDENT. I’M SO PROUD. [PHIL] THANK YOU. HELLO. WELCOME TO OUR PARTY. [RITA] I DIDN’T KNOW YOU COULD PLAY LIKE THAT. [PHIL] OH, I’M VERSATILE. (slow dance music playing) [OLD WOMAN] IT’S THAT NICE YOUNG MAN FROM THE MOTOR CLUB. THANK YOU AGAIN. [PHIL] IT’S NOTHING, LADIES. [OLD WOMAN] HE’S THE FASTEST JACK IN JEFFERSON COUNTY. [RITA] WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? [PHIL] I REALLY DON’T KNOW. THEY’VE BEEN HITTING ON ME ALL NIGHT. [WOMAN] THERE YOU ARE. MM-MMM. I NEVER THANKED YOU PROPERLY FOR WHAT YOU DID FOR BUSTER. HE WOULD HAVE CHOKED FOR SURE. [PHIL] WELL, HE MAY HAVE. HE WAS TRYING TO SWALLOW A WHOLE COW.

[MAN] I OWE YOU ONE, BUDDY. [WOMAN] HANG ONTO HIM, DEAR. HE’S A REAL FIND. [RITA] WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY? [PHIL] OH, SAME OLD, SAME OLD. [FRED] EXCUSE ME, MR. CONNORS. [PHIL] HEY, FRED, HOW WAS THE WEDDING? [FRED] THANK YOU FOR MAKING DEBBIE GO THROUGH WITH IT. [PHIL] ALL I DID WAS FAN THE FLAME FOR YOU, FRED. YOU [DEBBIE] ARE THE BEST. [PHIL] NO, YOU ARE THE BEST. RITA, THIS IS DEBBIE AND FRED KLEISER. HERE YOU GO, KIDS. CONGRATULATIONS. [DEBBIE] WHAT IS THIS? NO WAY. [FRED] WRESTLEMANIA! NO WAY! [DEBBIE] YES!! HOW DID YOU KNOW?! WE’RE GOING TO BE IN PITTSBURGH. [FRED] THANK YOU, MR. CONNORS, YOU’RE A REAL PAL. [DEBBIE] OH, THIS IS THE BEST. [RITA] I DON’T UNDERSTAND.

[PHIL] UH, YEAH, I GUESS NOT. [RITA] HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW YOU? YOU COME ONCE A YEAR AND YOU’RE THE MOST POPULAR PERSON IN TOWN. [OLD WOMAN] DR. CONNORS, THANK YOU FOR FIXING FELIX’S BACK. HE CAN EVEN HELP AROUND THE HOUSE AGAIN. [PHIL] I’M SORRY TO HEAR THAT, FELIX. [RITA] DR. CONNORS? [PHIL] IT’S KIND OF AN HONORARY TITLE. [RITA] WHAT IS GOING ON? [PHIL] I REALLY DON’T KNOW. [RITA] THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON WITH YOU. [PHIL] WOULD YOU LIKE THE LONG VERSION OR THE SHORT? [RITA] LET’S START WITH THE SHORT AND GO FROM THERE. [BUSTER] OKAY, FOLKS. ATTENTION. IT’S TIME FOR THE BIG BACHELOR AUCTION. NOW, YOU ALL KNOW THE RULES. ALL THE ELIGIBLE BACHELORS COME DOWN IN FRONT AND YOU LADIES, YOU BID ON THEM. YOU GET TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH THEM NO

QUESTIONS ASKED! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW, AS LONG AS IT’S LEGAL. SO GET OUT YOUR POCKETBOOKS. AND , IT’S ALL FOR CHARITY. [DORIS] PHIL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE? GO ON, GET UP THERE. I GOT TEN BUCKS THAT SAYS YOU’RE MINE. HEY, BUSTER, I GOT YOUR FIRST VICTIM. [BUSTER] PHIL CONNORS, COME ON UP HERE. ( band playing fanfare ) ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT AM I BID FOR THIS FINE SPECIMEN? [OLD WOMAN] FIVE DOLLARS. [BUSTER] THE BIDDING HAS BEGUN AT FIVE DOLLARS. [NANCY] TEN DOLLARS. [DORIS] FIFTEEN. [NANCY] TWENTY. [DORIS] TWENTY-FIVE. [NANCY] THIRTY. [DORIS] THIRTY-FIVE. [NANCY] FORTY. [DORIS] FORTY-FIVE.

[NANCY] FIFTY. [DORIS] FIFTY-FIVE! [NANCY] SIXTY. [BUSTER] I’M BID 60. DO I HEAR MORE? [RITA] ＄339.88. ( crowd gasping ) ( applause ) [BUSTER] I DON’T THINK. WE’RE GOING TO ACCEPT ANY MORE BIDS. I THINK THAT’S SOLD TO THE LITTLE LADY FOR ＄339.88. ( hammer pounds ) [BUSTER] CONGRATULATIONS. Buster: OKAY, BACHELORS, WHO’S NEXT? ( burlesque drumbeat plays ) ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHAT AM I BID FOR THIS…GUY? DO I HEAR A BUCK AND A HALF? ANYBODY? 75 CENTS? [OLD WOMAN] I BID TWO BITS! [BUSTER] SOLD TO THE LADY FOR 25 CENTS. [OLD WOMAN] I GOT HIM! OH! [NED] PHIL? PHIL CONNORS? I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU.

[PHIL] RITA, THIS IS NED RYERSON. HE’S MY NEW INSURANCE AGENT. [NED] I’LL SAY. I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS GUY FOR 20 YEARS. HE COMES UP TO ME AND BUYS WHOLE LIFE, TERM, UNIFLEX FIRE, THEFT, AUTO, DENTAL, HEALTH WITH THE OPTIONAL DEATH AND DISMEMBERMENT PLAN WATER DAMAGE. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. [PHIL] MINE TOO. [RITA] MINE TOO. [NED] WHERE ARE WE GOING? [RITA] OH, LET’S NOT SPOIL IT. [NED] OH! LET’S NOT…OH…I GOT THAT. ( meows ) A Woman Face in the Ice [RITA] WHY CAN’T I LOOK? [PHIL] BECAUSE YOU BOTHER ME, A LOT. [RITA] I’M GETTING COLD. HOW MUCH LONGER DO I HAVE TO SIT HERE? [PHIL] I’M GIVING YOU YOUR MONEY’S WORTH. YOU PAID TOP DOLLAR FOR ME. [RITA] WELL, I THINK YOU WERE A BARGAIN.

[PHIL] IT’S SWEET OF YOU TO SAY. YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT. [RITA] IS IT FINISHED YET? [PHIL] ALMOST. I STILL HAVE TO PUT SOME CHERRY SYRUP ON THE TOP AND THEN WE CAN EAT IT. [RITA] COME ON. I’M FREEZING. [PHIL] LET ME TURN IT INTO THE LIGHT. [RITA] IT’S AMAZING. IT’S BEAUTIFUL. HOW DID YOU DO THAT? [PHIL] I KNOW YOUR FACE SO WELL. I COULD HAVE DONE IT WITH MY EYES CLOSED. [RITA] IT’S LOVELY. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. [PHIL] I DO. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW OR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I’M HAPPY NOW BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. [RITA] I THINK I’M HAPPY TOO. (RADIO) Babe I got you, babe

I got you, babe They say our love won’t pay the rent Before it’s earned, our money’s all been spent…oh, please, not again. That is a great song. No, it’s not. [RITA] MMM…IT’S TOO EARLY. OOH. [PHIL] SOMETHING IS DIFFERENT. [RITA] GOOD OR BAD? [PHIL] ANYTHING DIFFERENT IS GOOD. [RITA] MMM… [PHIL] BUT THIS COULD BE REAL GOOD. WHY ARE YOU HERE? [RITA] I BOUGHT YOU. I OWN YOU. [PHIL] BUT WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? [RITA] YOU SAID STAY, SO I STAYED. [PHIL] I SAID STAY, SO YOU STAYED? [RITA] MM-HMM. [PHIL] I CAN’T EVEN MAKE A COLLIE STAY. I GOT TO CHECK SOMETHING. JUST STAY. JUST STAY.

THEY’RE GONE. THEY’RE ALL GONE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS? [RITA] NO. WHAT? [PHIL] TODAY IS TOMORROW. IT HAPPENED. YOU’RE HERE. [RITA] I’M HERE. OOH, PHIL, WHY WEREN’T YOU LIKE THIS LAST NIGHT? YOU JUST FEEL ASLEEP. [PHIL] IT WAS THE END OF A VERY LONG DAY. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU TODAY? [RITA] I’M SURE I COULD THINK OF SOMETHING. Phil: IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL. LET’S LIVE HERE. WE’LL RENT TO START. ** WHAT A DAY THIS HAS BEEN WHAT A RARE MOOD I’M IN WHY, IT’S ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE THERE’S A SMILE ON MY FACE FOR THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE WHY, IT’S ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE ALL THE MUSIC OF LIFE SEEMS TO BE

LIKE A BELL THAT IS RINGING FOR ME AND FROM THE WAY THAT I FEEL WHEN THAT BELL STARTS TO PEAL I WOULD SWEAR I WAS FALL SWEAR I WAS FALLING WHY, IT’S ALMOST LIKE BEING IN LOVE. ** ( calypso-pop intro ) PREDICTIONS SHOW A STEADY LOW YOU’RE FEELING JUST THE SAME BUT SEASONS COME AND SEASONS GO I’LL MAKE YOU SMILE AGAIN IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, TAKE ME BY THE HAND CAN’T YOU FEEL YOU’RE WARMING UP? YEAH, I’M YOUR WEATHERMAN COLD WIND’S BLOWING SNOWING, DRIVING EVERYONE INSIDE HARD RAIN’S FALLING HARD RAIN’S FALLING PITTER PATTER DOWN YOUR WINDOWPANE IF THIS INVITATION IS SPOILING ALL YOUR PLANS JUST CALL INFORMATION UP

‘CAUSE I’M YOUR WEATHERMAN IT’S JUST THE WEATHERMAN WHEN IT’S COLD OUTSIDE CALL YOUR WEATHERMAN WHEN IT’S COLD OUTSIDE I CAN WARM YOU UP IT’S JUST THE WEATHERMAN. IT’S JUST THE WEATHERMAN.