Highly Sensitive People 6n1621

Highly Sensitive People

Dorian Hackett

Published by Dorian Hackett, 2021.

Copyrights Reserved© 2021 – Dorian Hackett

No part of this book can be transmitted or reproduced in any form, including print, electronic, photocopying, scanning, mechanical, or recording without prior written permission from the author.

While the author has taken the utmost efforts to ensure the accuracy of the written content, all readers are advised to follow the information mentioned herein at their own risk. The author cannot be held responsible for any personal or commercial damage caused by misinterpretation of information. All readers are encouraged to seek professional advice when needed.

This book has been written for information purposes only. Every effort has been made to make this eBook as complete and accurate as possible. However, there may be mistakes in typography or content. Also, this book provides information only up to the publishing date. Therefore, this book should be used as a guide not as the ultimate source.

The purpose of this book is to educate the readers. The author and the publisher do not warrant in any way that the information contained in this book is fully complete and shall not be responsible for any errors or omissions. The author and publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this book.

Table of Contents

About the Book Are You A Sensitive Person: A Self-Assessment? Chapter 1 – Facts About Highly Sensitive People Chapter 2 – Insights into the Behavior of Highly Sensitive People Chapter 3 – Overstimulation and Other Difficulties of Being a Highly Sensitive Person Chapter 4 – Maintaining a Healthy Body Chapter 5 – Nourishing the Soul of an HSP Chapter 6 – Harmonious Relationships of HSPs Chapter 7 – Creating a Peaceful Work Environment Chapter 8 – HSPs in Love Chapter 9 – Selecting the Right Healer for an HSP Chapter 10 – Medical Care for HSPs Chapter 11 – How to Work with HSPs About the Author Other Books By This Author

About the Book

This book provides basic yet in-depth information you need to learn about your sensitivity trait.

A highly sensitive person, known as HSP in short, is someone who experiences acute emotional, mental, or physical responses to stimuli. This can include external stimuli such as your surroundings and the people you’re with. It can even encom internal stimuli such as your own realizations, emotions, and thoughts. While everyone does feel sensitive at particular times, and everyone does react to stimuli to a certain degree, being an HSP means that you experience a much greater and overwhelming response.

In the first four chapters of this book, you will learn all the basic facts about being a highly sensitive person and how to manage the over-arousal and overstimulation of your nervous system.

The next few chapters discuss the repercussions of your sensitivity on your childhood and adolescent years, social relationships, work, and friendships. It focuses on the benefits of sensitivity that you might not have thought of. Moreover, it includes advice about the general challenges that highly sensitive people face, such as nervousness and difficulty in finding the right type of work.

We hope that the information in this book can help you and other highly sensitive people experience a tangible improvement in their lives.

Are You A Sensitive Person: A Self-Assessment?

Before we move further , we would like you to take a simple self-assessment so that you can identify if you really lie in the category of a highly sensitive person.

For each statement given below, mark “True” if the statement holds somewhat true for you. Mark “False” if the statement not quite true or doesn’t hold true at all for you.

I get affected by the moods of other people around me. I am highly sensitive to suffering and pain. I feel the need to withdraw on busy days into a dark room or in my bed or any other place whe I am especially sensitive to caffeine. I get easily shaken by powerful sensory inputs such as strong smells, bright light, sirens, or co I get easily startled. I am conscientious. I feel highly moved by music and/or arts. Loud noises make me feel uncomfortable. I am conscious of the subtleties in my environment. I have a very deep and complicated inner life. I get unnerved when I have to do a lot of work on a very strict deadline. I get uncomfortable when I have to do a lot of things simultaneously. When people around me are feeling uncomfortable, I instinctively know what to do to make th I deliberately avoid violent TV shows and movies. I try extremely hard not to forget about things or make any mistakes. Being extremely hungry triggers a powerful response in me, breaking my concentration, and r I become irksome when there is too much happening around me. I acknowledge and appreciate fine or delicate scents, sounds, tastes, and pieces of art. I get shaken up by any changes in my life. When I have to compete or if I’m being observed while carrying out some work, I get so shak I prioritize arranging my life in a way that I can avoid overwhelming or upsetting situations. In my early childhood years, my teachers and parents saw me as shy or sensitive.

Scoring Guide

If you marked True for twelve or more statements, you’re probably a highly sensitive person.

But in all honestly, no psychological assessment is exactly accurate that you can revolve your life around it. For instance, if only two to three statements hold true for you but they’re highly true, you can consider yourself a highly sensitive person.

So, continue reading, and if you feel you fit in the comprehensive definition of a highly sensitive person in the next chapter, then think of yourself as one. The subsequent chapters in the book will help you learn more about yourself so that you can fare better in today’s environment.

Chapter 1 – Facts About Highly Sensitive People

In this chapter, you will get to know the key facts regarding your personality and how it differentiates you from others.

Highly sensitive people tend to absorb more information than regular people – they take in all the subtleties that others often miss out on. Moreover, what might seem normal to others, such as big crowds or loud noises, can be extremely overwhelming and hence, stressful for highly sensitive individuals.

For instance, most people don’t take any notice of strange smells, bright sounds, sirens, and clutter, but they seriously disturb HSPs. Most people might get tired after spending a day in the museum or a mall, but they’re still willing to attend a dinner party. However, HSPs need some peace and quiet after such a day.

Another striking difference between HSPs and regular people is their ability to notice things. For example, when regular people walk into a room, they generally notice the people, the furniture, and the more obvious things in the room. However, HSPs can immediately be cognizant, either intentionally or unintentionally, of the freshness or staleness of the air, the friendships and enmities, the mood, and the personality of the person responsible for the décor.

Fact #1 – HSPs Have an Ability to Feel More Deeply

It has already been established above that HSPs have the ability to feel more deeply than their less sensitive counterparts. Nevertheless, it’s important to reiterate it and explore it in greater detail as it’s the hallmark trait of a highly sensitive person.

HSPs like to process the information on a deeper level. They’re highly intuitive and go very deep inside to try to make sense of things. That being said, HSPs might find themselves crying easily over little things or being quick to feel angry over a minor disagreement.

Additionally, many HSPs find it extremely challenging to mask their true feelings because of how overpowering they can get at times. Several HSPs have been labeled as a “crybaby” by a lot of their friends and family over the years because they get upset and start crying while watching sad movies or stories.

HSPs are also known for the ability to “absorb” the emotions of others. This means that when people they love get hurt, they start feeling indignant or angry on their behalf. Sometimes, this can even leave HSPs feeling emotionally unbalanced, which is why a lot of them struggle to keep their emotions in check.

Fact #2 – HSPs, Like Others, Feel Best When They Are Moderately Aroused

A person will perform best on any particular task, be it conversing with another individual or playing a football game when their nervous system is moderately aroused and alert. A very low level of arousal can make a person feel ineffective and dull. To overcome the physical state of being under-aroused, some people turn on the music, drink a cup of coffee, ring up a friend, switch jobs, go on a vacation, and even strike up conversations with complete strangers.

Contrarily, too much arousal of the nervous system can make a person feel confused, clumsy, and distressed. Such a situation can make anyone, including HSPs, unable to process information and lose control over themselves. Again, there are several techniques to overcome this situation. Sometimes, it helps to rest, whereas other times, taking a Valium or consuming alcohol helps to lower

the arousal of the nervous system.

The ideal amount of arousal lies somewhere in between. In fact, a core finding of psychology is that there is a need and desire for an “optimal level of arousal.” This finding holds true for everyone, including toddlers and infants who hate feeling overwhelmed or bored.

Fact #3 – HSPs Love Creative Expression

Since Highly Sensitive People feel so much richer emotions than other people, it doesn’t come as a surprise that they like to channel into creative outlets. They prefer to express themselves and their feelings through mediums such as dance, art, music, poetry, writing, and more. Such expression helps them make sense of what they’re feeling and thinking.

If HSPs don’t use these forms of self-expression, they’ll have to bottle up their feelings until they explode. This is extremely painful for everyone, including HSPs.

Another reason why HSPs are more inclined towards creative arts is that they have a deeper appreciation for it. They can be moved by a painting, or a poem, or a song in a manner that many people would find hard to comprehend.

Fact #4 – HSPs Get Overwhelmed Very Easily

For highly sensitive people, multitasking is a major challenge. They become

noticeably more uneasy and anxious when they have too many things on their plate. This also results in higher stress levels of HSPs, and they find it more difficult to work productively.

Since HSPs are able to perceive things at a much deeper level than others, they often feel overwhelmed with experiences, events, and sensations. They find noisy and loud environments to be uncomfortable and chaotic. Instead, they feel most relaxed when there’s peace and quiet around them. In fact, this trait is often why many HSPs are categorized as introverts by those who don’t know or understand them properly.

Fact #5 – HSPs Easily Absorb Emotions

Emotions are infectious to a highly sensitive person. HSPs have the eerie ability to instinctively sense the emotions of those around them and experience them as if they were their own. When the people they’re close to are happy or enjoying, they cannot help but experience and radiate the same happiness.

HSPs can also perceive the apprehension and discomfort of someone else around them. This makes them great at reading people’s minds and knowing how to approach them. Nevertheless, this trait can make it very difficult for HSPs to overcome negative emotions, which is why they get so affected when others feel upset or angry with them.

Fact #6 – HSPs Often Struggle With their Sensitivity

There are plenty of times in life when HSPs wish they could stop feeling the way they did. There are moments when they feel bad about being soft-hearted and

being easily affected by everything.

Many times, it’s hard for HSPs to be honest about how they really feel, even to the people they love, because they feel they might get dismissed and have their feelings invalidated.

HSPs are often told to “just forget about it,” or it’s “not a big deal.” While HSPs know that they shouldn’t fret over small things, they still find it hard to swallow their feelings and keep them inside.

Conclusion

While it does sometimes feel that being a Highly Sensitive Person is more of a challenge than a blessing, it’s important to that empathy and sensitivity is an amazing gift to have. To be gentle and kind in a world that all too often seems uncaring and cruel is the biggest strength anyone could wish for. So, never forget to celebrate the things that make you unique and never shy away from embracing your sensitivity.

Chapter 2 – Insights into the Behavior of Highly Sensitive People

HSPs display the traits and characteristics discussed in the previous chapter partly due to genetic factors. Several genes determine if a person is highly sensitive, and all of them have to do with the brain and neurotransmitters, mood, and emotions.

Nevertheless, nurture also has a strong impact on the highly sensitive brain. In fact, the primary gene that leads to a person becoming highly sensitive also makes them increasingly receptive to environmental influences – particularly as a child. In simple , nurture has an even more significant role in shaping highly sensitive people than it does for other regular people.

So, what exactly makes the nervous system and brain of an HSP different from others? Well, current research has plenty of answers, and in this chapter, we’ll explore the greatest differences.

HSP Brains Respond Differently to Dopamine

Dopamine is the brain’s reward chemical – it’s what arouses a desire in a person to do particular things and then experience a feeling of happiness or victory when they accomplish them. However, several genes involved in high sensitivity impact how a person’s body utilizes dopamine.

For instance, there’s a high chance that HSPs are less motivated by external factors, which is the key reason behind why they are more restrained and observant, and thoughtful while processing information. This neural behavior also prevents HSPs from being attracted to the same highly stimulating places that make them feel overwhelmed.

If you’re an HSP, and you don’t feel interested in a very loud party, it’s all because of your dopamine that’s helping you prevent burnout and overstimulation.

HSPs Mirror Neurons Are Highly Active

Mirror neurons allow people to understand another person’s actions or feelings. These neurons work by comparing the other person’s behavior with situations when the person themself has behaved that way. It’s essentially because of these mirror neurons that a person feels comion and empathy for others.

In an HSP, these mirror neurons are highly active, which makes them more empathetic than others. Note that HSPs don’t really have a higher quantity of mirror neurons than other moderately sensitive people; it’s just that the mirror neurons in an HSP are more active.

A functional brain imaging research conducted in 2014 showed that HSPs consistently had higher levels of activity in key areas of the brain linked with emotional and social processing. In fact, this higher amount of activity was also present in tests that involved strangers, indicating that HSPs have an ability to be comionate to people they don’t know personally.

If you’re an HSP and find it hard to watch a violent movie, it’s primarily because of these mirror neurons. But you shouldn’t always view them as an inconvenience in your life – it is these mirror neurons that make you caring, warm, and extremely insightful about what other people around you are experiencing.

HSPs Experience Emotions More Strongly Than Others

The ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) is a fascinating area located in the front of the brain. This area is connected to various systems encoming your values, your emotions and also helps to process sensory data. When people say that HSPs think more deeply than others, there’s a high likelihood that it happens over here.

vmPFC is strongly linked with emotional regulation, and it maximizes the things we experience with a certain emotional vividness. Everyone, including HSPs, experience life more clearly during emotional periods. However, high sensitivity is connected to a gene that amplifies this vividness. This particular gene allows emotional enhancements to have a much bigger impact on the vmPFC while processing a person’s experiences.

So, what does this mean for HSPs? Contrary to mirror neurons, this emotional vividness isn’t always social in nature. Rather, it’s about how clearly a person feels emotions inside themself in response to what goes on around them.

Thus, if you perceive things more strongly than others, it’s probably not just in your mind. , as an HSP, your brain is finely tuned to catch even the most subtle cues and react to them.

Societal Values and Sensitivity

In the past ten to twenty years, there has been an increased acceptance of

sensitivity and some excellent improvements in societal values as well. Even though most men have been raised to suppress their emotions and act tough, there are still many progressive men who are now beginning to understand that sensitivity is a positive trait.

Moreover, in recent years, the media has also highlighted stories regarding the connection between intense work environments and stress-related diseases. This has made several people question if working under high pressure is worth damaging their health.

While there are now a number of progressive people who view sensitivity as a cherished value for both men and women, there is no doubt that overstimulation in our society has multiplied exponentially. For instance, in the 1950s, there were barely four to five television channels, whereas today, we are swamped with over a thousand channels broadcasting a number of shows filled with gratuitous violence and graphic sex. The home telephone has also been taken over by millions of mobile phones that create a cacophony of clamor throughout the globe.

Influence of Age on HSPs

Age also plays a significant role in determining our sensitivity to stimuli. Older people and young children are generally more affected by overstimulation than others. Also, since children haven’t developed the ability to express themselves, they often react more severely.

On the other hand, teenagers and young adults who are HSPs have an increased tolerance for overstimulation. Certain HSP teenagers can even listen to loud music and party all through the night. However, as a person grows older, their ability to tolerate overstimulation reduces. Hence, it’s very common to see

middle-aged HSPs going to bed early and staying home for most of the day. However, one always needs to strike a balance between too much and too little stimulation.

Impact of Geography on an HSP

Countries vary regarding how much stimulation their citizens are exposed to. One research study showed that people from Holland keep their infants calmer compared to people from America who expose their babies to a higher level of stimulation. In India, children are raised with a high degree of stimulation, making it very difficult for the HSP. Nevertheless, even sensitive people in India become used to listening to loud noises.

For instance, a highly sensitive man from India who had lived in the United States for five years said that the longer he lived in the United States, the more he blended into the relatively quiet environment. He also said it was hard for him to bear the overstimulating environment of India. But because he was brought up in a very noisy place, he said that he would eventually get used to the overstimulation of his birth country, and after some time, the loud noise wouldn’t really bother him.

All in all, HSPs who have been brought up in overstimulating environments can easily handle excessive stimuli. However, sensitive people who are raised in less stimulating environments find it more challenging to adapt.

Conclusion

By appreciating, accepting, and understanding your sensitive nervous system

and adopting practical techniques to manage your sensitivity, you will slowly be able to identify and let go of any internalized false beliefs that there is something inherently wrong with you.

HSPs are a big minority in a society that thrives on aggression, competition, and overstimulation. In fact, if there were more HSPs, this place would be a much better place to live with fewer wars, terrorism, and environmental devastation. Really, it’s the HSP whose sensitivity helps impose restrictions on pollution, noise, and smoking.

Chapter 3 – Overstimulation and Other Difficulties of Being a Highly Sensitive Person

Afact established in the preceding chapter is that the HSP brain is wired slightly differently than a regular person’s brain. HSPs are especially susceptible to overstimulation as they process things more deeply than others. Research shows that their brains process everything in their environment on a deeper level, particularly observing and contemplating every minor aspect.

The end result of this is that the HSP will notice many things that a regular person will not, such as the barely audible music, the ticking of the clock, the shaking leg of the person sitting three tables away, the bright lights, etc. The senses of an HSP are persistently on guard and vigilant.

But all this “observation” implies an extra mental load for HSPs. This continuous overstimulation is a major challenge for HSPs and the primary reason HSPs are more likely to feel exhausted and tired at the end of every day. In this chapter, we’ll discuss the other difficulties that an HSP has to face in their day.

1. Lack of Belongingness

Several highly sensitive people feel that they don’t belong in their families – and feel very “different” from them. This lack of belongingness isn’t just in of how they act and think but also in how they perceive the world.

A lot of HSPs spend their childhoods adjusting themselves, trying to be like those around them in an attempt to fit in.

2. Inability to Cope with Hectic Schedules

Not everyone likes to be too busy and work round the clock. However, certain people are fueled by the exhilaration and excitement of a busy life. On the other hand, HSPs feel rattled and overwhelmed when they have several tasks to accomplish in a little amount of time (even if they have sufficient time to finish everything if they pick up their pace). The need to juggle the uncertainty of not being able to complete all the work and the stress of such circumstances is highly stressful for HSPs.

3. LOUD NOISES (EVEN the Ones That Others Love)

Movie theatres, concerts, and even the music playing in your earphones can be extremely loud for a highly sensitive person. Even though no one wants to blast their eardrums, for HSPs, loud noises are like a full-fledged attack on their senses. The problem is exacerbated when HSPs can’t control the volume and when others don’t seem troubled by it, they start feeling like the odd one out.

4. Sleeping Difficulties

Whether you’re an HSP or not, life can be tiring, and we all feel drained every once in a while. Since HSPs process information more deeply and experience a higher cognitive load than regular people, they generally feel more exhausted. Thus, they need more sleep than others.

If HSPs don’t get that sleep, they miss out on the chance to rest and reset their worked-up senses. For an HSP, working on a little amount of sleep can feel like hell, and every small inconvenience and irritation is amplified exponentially.

5. Feeling Emotionally Exhausted

If an HSP’s spouse is feeling stressed, they will start feeling stressed as well. Similarly, if an HSP’s best friend is sad, they will start feeling sad, even if their own day was coming along fine. HSPs have the ability to absorb the emotions of those around them – they don’t just sense what another person is feeling, but they actually start to feel it themselves. And to be honest, there’s nothing more

emotionally draining than carrying the weight of your own feelings and those around you.

6. Social Comparison

HSPs are highly vulnerable to the stress of social comparison as well. They often experience the negative feelings of others as well as their own, and they might feel them more deeply and strongly than others.

Moreover, HSPs also get more upset when they realize that a relationship has ended and feel that things could have been worked out, whereas another person may feel that there’s nothing that could be done.

7. STRESSING OVER RELATIONSHIP Problems

Like all other things, HSPs are more vulnerable to become stressed by relationship conflicts. They are more cognizant of problems arising in a relationship, including times when things are slightly off-track with someone who may not be feeling like there’s a problem. This trait can result in HSPs misinterpreting unrelated signs as signals of anger or conflict.

8. Carrying A High Weight of Other’s Expectations

HSPs tend to pick up on the feelings and needs of others. They absolutely hate letting other people down. Because of this reason, they find it hard to say no. Nevertheless, saying no is highly important for HSPs because they can feel worn down by the demands of others. This is also because HSPs can feel the other person’s disappointment if they said no.

9. Taking Personal Failures Too Seriously

Since HSPs are their own worst critics, they are more likely to self-doubt and rumination. If they make an embarrassing mistake, they will fret over it for quite a while, and in fact, they’ll feel more embarrassed over it than the regular person would.

HSPs don’t like being evaluated or watched when trying to do something difficult and can even make mistakes due to the stress of being observed.

10. Even Positive Changes Can Be Stressful

Adapting to change can be difficult for anyone, but it can extremely taxing for HSPs who find great comfort in routine, as routine is far less challenging than doing something new. Thus, even positive changes, such as getting into a new relationship or receiving a work promotion, can make them feel stressed.

This can even lead to their family and friends feeling confused as they don’t understand why the HSP is riding the “high” of their newfound success or luck. However, for HSPs, such feelings of excitement can be overstimulating in and of themselves. These people generally require extra time to adapt to changes – even if they’re positive.

Tips and Tricks for Improvement

If you’re an HSP, you need to find ways to deal with life’s stresses. A major chunk of your stress relief plan should encom protecting yourself from overstimulation. Learn how to place a barrier between overwhelming sensory stimuli and yourself. And most importantly, learn what makes you feel stressed and come with techniques to avoid them.

Add bursts of positivity by creating positive experiences in your routine to protect yourself from additional stress that you might face. Avoid stressful experiences such as violent movies and people who place heavy demands on you, make you feel bad about yourself, and drain your positive energy.

Learn the art of saying no to overwhelming demands, don’t feel bad about it, and create boundaries. Create a safe space. Make your home a soothing and relaxing environment for yourself.

Conclusion

As a highly sensitive person, you are highly likely to feel things deeply, regardless of whether those things are negative or positive. While the highs can make you feel happy, the lows can present difficulties that impact your relationships, ability to cope, and stress levels. Create a strategy for managing your feelings in stressful times to ensure that you don’t get overwhelmed.

Chapter 4 – Maintaining a Healthy Body

In the last chapter , we explored the problems associated with being an HSP. These challenges can, in turn, lead to HSP feeling high levels of stress, which has a lot of serious consequences. For instance, according to globally renowned stress reduction specialist, Kenneth Pelletier, between 50 to 80 percent of all diseases originate from stress. Since HSPs are more likely to feel overwhelmed and stressed than regular people, it’s critical for them to maintain a preventative health-maintenance program.

Irrespective of their immune system’s strength, HSPs tend to experience illnesses more strongly and become very upset when they get sick than regular people. Moreover, HSPs also have a lower pain threshold, making them more aware of the illness in their body.

Stress can result in a weakened immune system making them more vulnerable to catching both bacterial and viral infections. Many HSPs have stated that they observed a direct correlation between the number of colds they have and their stress level. Several have also claimed that they have strengthened their immunity through exercise, diet, minerals, vitamins, along with numerous other supplements.

In this chapter, we will discuss the practical measures you need to employ to enhance your immune system if you are an HSP with a stressed immune function.

A Healthy and Nutritious Diet for HSPs

HSPs need to be extremely careful about what they eat. Some foods can boost anxiety and tension, whereas others can compromise their immune function. If

you practice caution about your food consumption, you can function at an optimal level.

Here are some things you need to be conscious of when cooking and eating.

Food Allergies – Some HSPs have more food-related allergies than regular people. Thus, it’s essential to properly peruse the ingredients listed on food items. Make sure you consult an allergist if you suspect any food allergies. Processed Foods – A lot of processed foods contain potentially harmful ingredients such as MSG (monosodium glutamate), carcinogenic dyes, polyunsaturated fat, and high quantities of sugar and salt. Foods that are high in refined carbohydrates and sugar with a high glycemic count may lead to a burst of hyperactivity or energy followed by anxiety or depression. Foods with A High Glycemic Count – The glycemic index measures the extent to which your blood sugar increases in the period after consuming carbohydrates that are rapidly broken down. Several processed cereals, food items containing white flour, and white potatoes (not sweet potatoes) are some foods with a high glycemic count. Food Items Labelled “Low Fat” or “All Natural” – Many big food organizations are trying to profit from the healthy eating trend. Thus, you may frequently come across unhealthy ingredients such as preservatives and sugar in “healthy foods.” Spicy Foods – Spicy foods can result in a stimulating reaction for certain HSPs. Fast Food Chains – It’s highly recommended that HSPs avoid eating from fast-food restaurants that sell food containing high quantities of fat, sugar, salt, and chemicals. Commercially Produced Vegetables and Fruits – Commercially produced vegetables and fruits are replete with pesticides that can be injurious to anyone’s health and result in particularly harmful reactions in HSPs.

When starting a new diet, you have to be patient. For instance, you can gradually reduce your intake of processed food while incorporating whole grains and organic fruit and vegetables into your diet.

The crux of your new healthy diet should be moderation, and hence, you should always avoid overeating. If you eat to only fill half your stomach, your body will be able to digest the food properly, preventing indigestion and anxiety. Additionally, overeating will also increase your heart’s workload, ultimately resulting in increased stress. Always the phrase “eat to live - do not live to eat.”

According to Ayurveda, consuming foods that are moist, heavy, and warm helps to promote calmness. Thus, eating foods such as casseroles, warm soup, and hot cereal are both calming and nurturing, particularly during the colder months. To get the best nourishment, you should eat more salads during the summer and more cooked vegetables in the winter.

Consuming complex carbohydrates can boost serotonin (a neurotransmitter that helps to calm the nervous system). On the other hand, protein-rich foods can block the synthesis of serotonin, making HSPs feel more vigilant and alert.

In between meals, you should try to eat a healthy snack such as vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, or non-fat yogurt. You could even cut up a banana or an apple (or any other fruit that you like) and top it with one tablespoon of sugar-free, natural jam or berry syrup and shredded coconut. Try to avoid processed and sugary foods and stock your pantry with natural, healthy foods.

Exercise for A Healthy Body and Relaxed Mind

Exercise is essential for everyone, including an HSP.

However, as an HSP, you must steer clear of competitive sports activities in favor of exercises that lead to inner peace. Moreover, you should always exercise at a comfortable pace to prevent any kind of injury. Ideally, you should exercise at around 50 percent of your capacity, and you should be able to talk to people while breathing through your nose.

In 1996, the Surgeon General advised that people take up half an hour of moderate-intensity physical activity on most, if not all, days. These activities can be broken down into various smaller sessions that aggregate to thirty minutes over the day.

Even though regular people can usually take up intense daily exercise every day, HSPs, on the other hand, have to be extremely cautious regarding the intensity and amount of the physical activity they engage in. As long as you’re slightly increasing your heart rate during a vigorous twenty to thirty-minute exercise session, you will receive plenty of physical benefits without risking any injurious physical or emotional side effects.

Adverse Impacts of Our Competitive Sports Culture

The competitive sports culture prevalent today is deleterious for many HSPs and can be especially challenging for males. Boys who are not athletic feel undervalued and suffer socially. Many boys and girls are ostracized or teased if they are not adept in team sports at school.

Playing group sports under pressure can create performance anxiety and can be overwhelming for the HSP, possibly creating poor self-esteem. In a survey, more than 90 percent of the HSPs interviewed reported that they prefer to participate in individual exercise rather than team sports. While some HSPs may be naturally athletic and, with practice, can cope with the pressure of team sports, individual and non-competitive exercise is generally more in tune with the HSP temperament.

Exercise for the HSP

Generally, HSPs should engage in non-competitive sports such as walking, riding a bike, or yoga. There are also many new cooperative games that groups of people can play, such as keeping a large ball in the air.

One of the easiest and least expensive exercises for healing your body and mind is to take a silent walk in nature every day. While hiking amongst natural beauty, you may want to also practice walking meditation. For an HSP, it’s important to stay focused on the present moment when walking in nature. However, if you enjoy competing in sports, it’s probably best to play with just one other ive person to reduce excessive stimulation.

If you or your HSP child wants to play team sports, choose an inherently less violent sport, such as soccer or volleyball, rather than American football or rugby. However, any player or coach with an insensitive attitude to win at all costs could turn any game into an HSP hell. Unfortunately, we are still living in a culture where “winning isn’t everything—it’s the only thing.” Actually, any sport can be enjoyable if the consciousness of the participants is ive and caring.

A method to exercise the body while reducing tension is hatha yoga, which

originated in India but has become very popular in the West in recent years. Yoga postures consist of a series of stretching poses that tone the body while releasing stress. When you perform hatha yoga, not only are you exercising your body, but you are calming both your mind and nervous system.

Proper yoga instructors will advise you to perform gentle movements and never to push yourself into a pose. Tai chi is another calming exercise, one that originated in China and is becoming very popular in the West. Tai chi consists of slow and harmonious martial-arts movements, which help promote a feeling of inner peace for the participant.

Vitamins, Supplements, and Herbs

Given the HSPs' proclivity to absorb stress that can create physical and emotional problems, it makes sense for them to use the effective supplements, vitamins, and herbal treatments available to help maintain their energy level, stay calm, and modify any adverse physiological reactions from stress.

Even if HSPs are interested in taking supplements, they feel confused and overwhelmed regarding which one to take. The variety and number of choices available can be mind-boggling, as the supplement business has become a billion-dollar industry. A decade ago, you would rarely find herbs in your local pharmacy or supermarket, but now herbs and supplements can be found in most retail stores. No wonder so many people are confused!

In addition to the sheer number available, it can be hard to know where to turn for reliable information on supplements and herbs. Unfortunately, a situation has developed where millions of people are buying supplements and herbs. Yet, the American FDA (Federal Drug istration) does not regulate the industry, and most medical doctors have not received any training in the use of

supplements and herbs.

To make matters more confusing for the consumer, some unscrupulous manufacturers trying to make a fast buck will be inconsistent in what they’re offering to the public. Studies have shown that there are different amounts and qualities of herbs and supplements from various companies promoting identical products.

While generally herbs and supplements are safe, you always have to be careful about side effects. If you are already taking allopathic medicine (conventional medicines prescribed by your doctor or bought over the counter), you need to be especially aware of the effects that vitamins and herbs may have on your body. For example, some herbs and vitamin E can be dangerous to take with the medication coumadin, a blood thinner.

How to Find the Right Supplements and Herbs

It’s highly recommended that you consult with your physician before taking any supplements or herbs. However, as stated above, many medical doctors have limited knowledge about supplements and herbs. If your doctor is not familiar with a supplement, you should meet with a holistic medical doctor.

Other than that, there are some excellent sources available to obtain information on herbs and supplements. Julian Whitaker, M.D. (http://www.drwhitaker.com/), the author of many articles and books on alternative healing, is the director of a wellness institute.

Another great source is Andrew Weil, M.D. (https://www.drweil.com/), who is

perhaps the most well-known proponent of alternative medicine. In his books Natural Health Natural Medicine (1990) and Spontaneous Healing (1995), he recommends specific Western, Chinese, and Ayurvedic herbs. In Dr. Deepak Chopra’s book Grow Younger Live Longer (2001), he offers important information on the proper use of supplements and herbs.

Jean Carper (https://www.stopagingnow.com/) is an internationally known medical writer whose articles regularly appear in the magazine USA Weekend, found in many Sunday newspapers. Her informative book, Stop Aging Now (1995), contains the latest medical research on the benefits of supplements and herbs. She lists the proper dosage, the type of supplement to buy, and any potential adverse reactions. Some of the supplements she describes are vitamins B12, C, and E, chromium, zinc, calcium, magnesium, selenium, and coenzyme Q-10.

There are many herbs and supplements you can take to reduce anxiety and tension. However, it’s generally not a good idea to take herbal preparations for stress reduction daily since your body may become habituated to the herb and could need larger dosages for the herb to be effective. Herbs for anxiety relief should be taken on an “as needed” basis.

Some commonly used herbs to reduce anxiety are valerian, ionflower, hops, and chamomile. Many HSPs have had good results buying a formula with a combination of healing herbs, which creates a synergistic effect. While valerian is the most sedating herb, some people actually have reported the opposite reaction after taking valerian, finding it stimulating. Everyone’s system reacts differently to each herb as well as to the dosage. Ask your health care practitioner or doctor regarding the dosage you should take.

Since HSPs are more sensitive to the effects of herbs, you should start with a small dose and gradually increase the amount you take under your doctor’s recommendation. Try out various herbs to see which one works best for you.

Finally, there is a marvelous flower essence tincture called “Rescue Remedy” that helps create calmness during stressful situations.

Conclusion

As an HSP, maintaining a healthy body is essential for your wellbeing. Hence, you need to pay special attention to your diet, exercise regularly, and consume the most suitable vitamins, supplements, and herbs. It’s also advisable that you create a healthy diet plan, a comprehensive exercise schedule, and a supplement consumption chart to prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed.

Chapter 5 – Nourishing the Soul of an HSP

One of the best attributes of being an HSP is your inherent capacity to have deep spiritual experiences. In the earlier chapters, we discussed that HSPs are more open to intuitive feelings and picking up subtle vibrations deeply.

A sense of spiritual wellbeing can help you meet life challenges and feel more optimistic. One study showed that a spiritual orientation helps terminally ill people avoid spending their last months of life in despair (Rosenfeld 2003). A spiritual focus has shown to be a crucial aspect of how well one copes with death. Expanding our natural attunement with spirit also helps cushion the trauma from major difficulties such as physical disease or the death of a loved one.

The more you develop your sense of spirituality, the easier it will be to cope with daily overstimulation. Some of us may have a resistance to pursuing a spiritual path due to early negative religious experiences. You may want to think of spirituality in of unconditional love, beauty in nature, or a Higher Power. You may also be more comfortable relating spiritually to a specific religious figure like Christ, Buddha, Mohammed, or Krishna, or a prophet like Abraham or Moses.

The HSP needs to be practical and discriminating when beginning a new spiritual practice. Proceed slowly so that your nervous system doesn’t become overloaded with too much energy. Even positive experiences such as profound spiritual experiences, getting married, or starting a new job can be overstimulating for the HSP.

Therefore, even during these uplifting times, you need to employ many of the same techniques that you use to cope with stress, such as following a daily routine, progressive relaxation, and taking the necessary herbs or supplements. So, in this chapter, we’ll take a look at how you can nourish your soul as a

highly sensitive person.

Understanding Inner Peace

Once you understand the nature of people, you will probably gain more serenity in your life. Almost no one loves another more than their own self, and virtually everyone’s motivation is based on self-interest. For instance, as an HSP, you might get upset if you feel that a friend isn’t considerate of your feelings or you might feel hurt if a friend doesn’t call you.

However, once you realize the nature of people, you will learn that some people don’t take the initiative to stay in touch. When you let go of the attachment to the idea that people should act in a certain way, you can experience more inner peace. Thus, by getting detailed insights into the nature of the world, you will be able to act from your inner essence rather than constantly overreacting to people’s moods and ever-changing situations that are not under your control.

While some people may exude unconditional love, many people will treat you nicely because they want something from you. Notice how polite salespeople are when they want you to buy their product. Would the same person behave in such a kind manner if they knew that you had no intention of purchasing anything?

Frequently, the person who said they would love you forever is gone when you don’t give them what they want. The nature of a human being’s egotistical love is conditional. However, divine love, as exemplified by the true saints such as Christ, Buddha, or Mother Theresa, is unconditional.

When you understand the nature of the human ego, which is based on self-

interest, as a sensitive person, you won’t be so disappointed when you realize that some egotistical people are simply not capable of treating others comionately.

Our Temporary Nervous System

As sensitive souls, it’s easy to get bogged down in the little discomforts of life and forget that what seems so important today will hardly matter next month or next year. Once you deeply understand that your soul’s brief journey in this incarnation will by swiftly, you won’t get caught up in the delusion that you are only this sensitive body.

Many people believe that what we see in this ephemeral world may appear real, but it’s actually a sort of illusion since nothing real (everlasting) can be destroyed. While our family, home, and bank will all disappear when we leave our body, the love we’ve shared and our spiritual attunement will last forever.

When we die, our souls will not be black or white, Muslim or Jew, male or female, sensitive or insensitive. When we experience the flow of divine energy connecting all beings, our fleeting differences hidden behind the masks of temporary personalities will become less important.

Patience and Detachment

While it’s difficult for sensitive people to remain detached during overstimulation, the more you practice patience, the less minor disturbances will bother you. There’s a story regarding a guru who had a very obnoxious person

residing in his ashram. One day, after making everyone angry and probably driving the HSPs crazy, the obnoxious person departed the ashram. The guru ran after the ill-mannered disciple and offered to pay him to return to the ashram so that the devotees could learn the spiritual lessons of detachment and patience. Thus, the more you can watch the drama of life unfold around you as if you were in a movie theatre gazing at the ever-changing shadows of darkness and light, the more your inner peace will increase.

As an HSP, you should always be mindful of the fact that the world and its objects are like a dry twig in as much as they offer us no lasting . We must be alert and detached, even while we are in the world. Then we can soar up to the heights of spiritual bliss. We can leave our bodies at any moment and should always be aware of our true nature. Once we recognize that we are the infinite soul rather than a temporary, highly sensitive person, we will open our hearts and experience more joy.

You will be able to transcend your temporary challenges as you develop spiritually through meditation, prayer, reading spiritual books, spending time in quiet, natural environments, repeating a mantra, and spending time with other spiritual seekers and teachers. The more you perform selfless service, helping others, the less you will focus on your own problems as you grow spiritually, serving humanity.

Expressing Gratitude Enhances Our Soul

One of the most important spiritual qualities to develop is gratitude. It is highly recommended that you write down everything that you’re grateful for in your life before going to bed. By focusing on the positive areas of your life, you will gently slip off into sleep on a positive note, rather than taking your worries with you throughout the night. This is also an excellent exercise to perform daily to enhance your spiritual growth.

Sometimes HSPs tend to focus on the little irritations caused by other people. The more you concentrate on the positive characteristics of others, the happier you will tend to be. Use your deep comion to forgive everyone and open your heart through acts of love and kindness.

Meditation for the Soul

Many spiritual teachers have taught that the purpose of being born human is for our soul to expand into God’s infinite love and light. Through meditation and spending time in nature, highly sensitive people can easily experience the divine effulgent energy flowing through us. Through inner contemplation and reflection, we can develop our innate spiritual ability and calm our nervous system. In fact, many HSPs experience a phenomenal spiritual transformation after starting a guided meditation.

Although your sensitivity to noise and frequent thoughts may distract you during meditation, you can still receive many benefits by integrating this practice into your daily life. You never know when you will be blessed with a profound spiritual experience. For instance, you might suddenly experience feelings of bliss even during a restless meditation.

When you practice meditation regularly, you will be able to experience your soul’s connection to the divine, and your mundane sensitivity challenges will pale in comparison. Even if you don’t have profound spiritual experiences, meditating lets your consciousness momentarily transcend this temporary Earth plane as you dive deeply into the spirit.

Spending time in nature can also awaken your innate spiritual qualities. Your

highly sensitive nervous system will easily relax when you spend time in the calmness of nature. In an urban environment, it is easy to become deluded, believing that it’s natural to sit in traffic jams on freeways, inhale toxic pollution, and listen to cars honking. However, in a bucolic countryside, you can feel your connection to the divine more deeply.

Since, as an HSP, you can feel more joy and appreciate beauty deeply, you can instantly enter into a tranquil state when you spend time in a lovely natural environment. Your soul spontaneously soars upward toward a divine state as you observe the harmony in nature. Also, you may be subtly inspired to realize the unselfish quality of nature. For example, an apple tree gives all its fruits to others, taking nothing for itself even when it’s being chopped down.

Conclusion

When you are born into this world, you do not bring anything with you. When you leave the earth, only the merit of selfless actions and love that you have shared will accompany you on your final journey. As you grow spiritually and maintain an awareness of the temporary nature of the world, your sensitivity becomes a joy, and you will be able to spread love and comion to all sentient beings and help uplift suffering humanity. As long as you focus on the luminous divine energy flowing through you, practice the coping techniques in this book and love, and approve of your sensitivity, you will experience joy and tranquility for the rest of your life and throughout eternity.

Chapter 6 – Harmonious Relationships of HSPs

In the previous chapters , we explored methods to maintain a healthy body and nourish the soul. In this chapter, we will investigate how being an HSP influences relationships and learn techniques to create positive relationships with all sentient beings.

Relationships and Sensitivity

As an HSP, you may sometimes tend to overreact negatively to other people’s moods and behavior. In the book, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love, Elaine Aron clearly discusses the HSP in intimate relationships (2001). In her landmark research of over one thousand people, she found that HSPs experience a deeper intensity when they fall in love than non-HSPs. She pointed out that 70 percent of HSPs are introverted and shy and speculates that the shyness could simply be a strategy to reduce stimulation in relationships.

Dr. Aron described how some people (both HSP and non-HSP) are high sensation seekers (HSS) who enjoy stimulating activities, take risks, and are easily bored (2001). Challenges in relationships can arise when an HSP who needs low sensation is married to a non-HSP who seeks higher sensations. The HSP, in this case, enjoys spending quiet time alone or at home while the nonHSP gets bored with such a life, always wanting to engage in stimulating activities.

In her work on HSPs’ relationships, Dr. Aron highlights the need for HSPs and non-HSPs to learn to compromise for the relationship to work out successfully. Both partners have to create optimal levels of arousal for the relationship to be successful, as well as employ creative solutions. Aron also emphasizes the importance of couples learning to accept each other’s differences rather than blaming the other for having a different temperament.

However, even HSPs who are in a relationship with other HSPs have certain challenges (Aron 2001). They can both spend too much time in solitude and overreacting to each other’s sensitivities. HSP couples need to create more stimulation in their lives by pushing themselves to go out more since it helps a relationship to participate in new, exciting adventures. However, HSP couples need to be careful not to spend too much time focusing on the problems of stimulation when on outings.

THE PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES of Being Upset

When you become upset with someone, chemical changes occur in your body. When you are feeling resentment and frustration, stress hormones activate the central nervous system, and you eventually become habituated to increased muscle tension, heart rate, and blood pressure. In addition, the stress hormone catecholamine (adrenaline-like hormone) is released during acute anger.

When you experience chronic anger and frustration during the day, there is an excess of cortisol, a hormone that increases agitation, and a decrease of serotonin, which calms you down. An excess of catecholamine can create anxiety, apprehension, and fear. Also, catecholamine speeds up the heart and can cause cardiac problems. An excess of cortisol leads to increased vigilance and a restless mind. You experience an exaggerated startle response, sounds appear louder, and lights seem brighter.

During chronic anger and frustration, low levels of serotonin make it much harder to feel happy and fulfilled, which can lead to depression. Concurrently, the endorphins that create a sense of joy literally dry up, resulting in poor relationships with people.

When you let yourself become upset with “insensitive” people, you are only hurting yourself. These other people may not even know that you’re angry with them. One of the greatest benefits of being an HSP is your ability to feel comion deeply.

You can use your innate kindness to open your heart to discourteous people and overcome hurt feelings. The Buddha said that using hatred to answer hatred only

leads to an escalation of hatred. So, open up your comionate HSP heart to heal your relationships.

Resolving Conflicts for the HSP

In this section, we will take a look at the various methods to resolve conflicts with other people. Once you start implementing the recommendations, you’ll observe that your sensitivity will actually help you build more harmonious relationships.

Weekly Mediation Program

One method of improving relationships that HSPs have had success with is the “once-a-week mediation program.” Both partners agree not to discuss contentious issues during the week. When people fight with each other daily, the relationship begins to deteriorate.

Unless the issue can be resolved immediately, both partners should choose a specific time during the week to discuss the problem. Pick a time when you will both be relaxed and not under any time constraints, for example, on a weekend afternoon.

During the week, you may write down everything that disturbs you about the other person. By writing down your feelings, you are not repressing your emotions or escalating the conflict by getting stuck in a daily verbal battle.

Five-Second Pause

The five-second pause technique to reduce stimulating arguments is where both parties agree to pause for five seconds before responding to each other. You may want to remind the other person that HSPs need more time to process information. It’s very difficult for a conflict to escalate when both parties agree to wait five seconds before responding.

The One Percent Apology

In every conflict, there are always two sides to a story. Accept responsibility for your role in the argument, even if you believe it’s only a mere one percent of the problem, and just apologize. Your remorseful expression gives an opening for the other person to apologize for their role in the conflict.

However, even if you have to swallow some pride and the other person doesn’t say sorry, you have opened your heart and created peace of mind for yourself, not blaming anyone and accepting responsibility for your actions.

Be Silent

Since the HSP feels more peaceful in a quiet environment, it’s important to reduce the amount of time they spend talking mindlessly. Being in silence with people also lessens the potential for interpersonal conflicts.

Excessive talking can be jarring to your nervous system when you have to

constantly give your opinion or defend yourself. Besides, too much talking may deplete your energy level. It’s important to choose your words carefully to avoid overstimulation.

Being in silence in a group setting can be very beneficial. You will feel more peaceful when you practice being quiet in large groups since you won’t have to constantly state your opinions, ask unnecessary questions, or talk about yourself. If you are introverted in groups, this practice is not meant for you. Don’t use silence as an excuse to avoid interpersonal connections since the goal is to create a balanced life.

Conclusion

Harmonious relationships don’t just happen. They take a lot of work. Sometimes, no matter what techniques you try to improve your relationships, they just don’t work out. However, once you work on changing yourself, your relationships will improve. Once you increase your self-esteem and become more peaceful, you’ll lessen any temptation to bring belligerent people into your life and will attract more loving people.

Chapter 7 – Creating a Peaceful Work Environment

In this chapter, we’ll discuss ways to reduce stress at work while creating a relaxed job environment. It is challenging for sensitive people to work under time pressure for an inconsiderate boss or with difficult colleagues. Consequently, this workplace stress impacts their emotional or physical health.

Public and Personal Costs Due to Work Stress

Due to your desire to fulfill your obligations and conscientiousness at work, you may find yourself frantically multitasking to complete arduous assignments, resulting in physical and emotional burnout. Even in less overwhelming situations, your desire to be conscientious and not make mistakes can create stress.

The feeling of not being able to live up to the highly competitive work standards can create low self-esteem, anxiety, and frustration for the HSP. Some stressful job conditions can be overcome if you work with a ive staff. There is a correlation between job satisfaction and positive social interactions at work. Depersonalization at work is a major cause of both unhappiness and stress on the job. The lack of real human at work (sometimes we’re more likely to email the person in the next cubicle than stand up and talk to them) contributes to a feeling of anomie in the workplace.

When HSPs feel that the work they are performing at the job is meaningful, their job satisfaction increases. For instance, if they can understand how their job benefits humanity, they will likely become more enthusiastic about their vocation.

Attitude About Work

Attitude is an important factor in job satisfaction. When you perceive your work from a global perspective, you can gain a new appreciation for your occupation. People in developing countries and even laborers in our own country may perform heavy physical work for more than ten hours a day for a fraction of your salary. Many unemployed people would jump at the chance to work in your field. Suddenly, that “boring” job may seem a lot more interesting.

If you feel unsatisfied with your work, get to the root cause of your dissatisfaction. Is it due to the unreasonable demands of a disrespectful boss? Are coworkers rude to you throughout the day? Or is your frustration due to an internal pattern of not being satisfied with most aspects of your life? We usually bring our beliefs and attitudes into the workplace so that our job mirrors our life. The mind always thinks the grass is greener somewhere else, and the ego thrives on conflict to maintain its separate identity.

Always that the higher your willingness to overcome job obstacles, the higher the chances of having a positive work experience. For instance, when you attempt to improve your relationships with your work colleagues, your job satisfaction goes up. However, if you put forth a great deal of energy to improve a difficult job situation and nothing works, you can always resign. You are never truly stuck.

Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness

It will increase your sense of wellbeing to work in a less demanding job that may pay a lower salary but gives you the freedom to spend more time pursuing calming and enjoyable activities.

Materialistic cravings create a vicious circle. The more money people make, the more money they think they need. The more ego gratification employees receive on the job, the more status they will crave. People who live in expensive, airconditioned houses still commit suicide. What you really need to do is air condition your mind by investigating why you would continue to work in a very stressful job that harms your physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.

If you make your job your entire life, you’re setting yourself up for emotional trauma when you eventually leave the job or retire. It’s better to live a balanced life, making time for a satisfying social life, and pursuing interesting activities outside of work.

How to Reduce Work-Related Stress

Several techniques such as the ones listed below can help you build a more relaxing work environment.

You can play calming music in the background to eliminate or reduce the noise at work. Plenty of HSPs regularly listen to music, wearing earphones, while some use headsets on the job. Put up inspirational pictures of natural environments, such as sea- or landscapes, or pictures of your loved ones.

If you work in an urban, artificial environment or under fluorescent lights, looking at nature will help you keep calm. It might also help if you place plants or flowers in your workstation. Inhaling the delicate fragrance of flowers or looking at a beautiful bouquet will soothe your nervous system.

Surround yourself with love by bringing in pictures of close friends and family

. Ensure that your chair is comfortable enough to sit in throughout the workday. This way, your muscles will always be relaxed. You can even purchase a massage cushion for your chair that will automatically massage your tension away during the day.

Aromatherapy, which involves inhaling the fragrances of vaporized essential oils, is another effective technique to create peace at work. The fragrance of certain essential oils has proven effective against stress and help you relax. For instance, research showed that when the fragrance of lemon is diffused into an office, keyboard errors reduce by more than fifty percent (Worwood 1997).

Conclusion

Each HSP is different. So, where a high sensation seeking HSP will enjoy mild stimulation at work, another HSP would detest the same kind of work. Hence, as an HSP, it’s important that you work in a field that suits your interests as well as your temperament. You may want to schedule a consultation with a vocation counselor who can guide you about various career options. Alternatively, you can take some vocational tests or interest test to gauge your aptitude and abilities for various professions.

Chapter 8 – HSPs in Love

With regards to falling in love, research shows that HSPs tend to fall in love with more difficulty than others. But this isn’t always a bad thing. For instance, research shows that falling in love increases an HSP’s sense of competence and the breadth of the person’s self-concept. Nevertheless, it’s good to explore how an HSP falls in love and what they feel while in love, and in this chapter, we’ll be doing exactly this.

HSPs Will Notice and Even Feel What their Partner Feels

HSPs have the ability to pick up on the unspoken, subtle emotional cues. They can notice the slump in their partner’s shoulders, the tension in their voice, or the sudden avoidance of eye . But it’s not that HSPs do this on a conscious level. Rather, they tend to read the signs and know how their partner is feeling.

In fact, HSPs don’t just know how their partner is feeling, but they feel it themselves too. For instance, if the HSP’s partner is feeling stressed, they will start to feel stressed out as well.

This is extremely challenging. So, if you’re an HSP dealing with stress, it’ll help if you openly speak about your feelings and, above all, master the art of listening. When HSPs can discuss your feelings and know that they’re being heard and accepted, they will find peace.

HSPs Get Exhausted and Overwhelmed More Easily Than Their Partners

Even a highly accepting partner of an HSP will find it difficult to comprehend

how easily an HSP can become overwhelmed and how exhausting it is for them to take in and stimuli.

Recreational family activities can be difficult to handle because places such as malls, parties, and amusement parks can overstimulate HSPs.

In such cases, you need to work hard and find activities that accommodate your sensitivities in a manner that you can have fun as a couple but don’t get too exhausted.

HSPs Need More Time to Adapt to Changes

Adapting to change is difficult for almost everyone. Since HSPs feel and process things on a deeper level than others, even positive changes, such as beginning a new relationship, can get overwhelming for them.

Consequently, HSPs take relationships slowly, particularly in the initial stages. Moreover, HSPs often need time to themselves at first to safeguard their heart and keep their stress levels in check.

HSPs Often Need Alone Time

Certain HSPs are extroverts, whereas others are introverts. However, even extroverts, even the most chatty and social ones, sometimes need to disappear and spend time alone. This is because social and other kinds of stimulation can quickly overwhelm the senses of an HSP, and they need time to calm down.

In a live-in relationship, an HSP may need to have a room that’s solely theirs and would not allow anyone to enter. However, if HSPs live separately, they may have to vanish for a couple of days to calm themselves.

HSPs Love Being Engaged

HSPs process things deeply; hence they’re often contemplating the major things in life. This can be as cosmic as the future of humankind or as personal as how a friendship will work out.

In either case, HSPs don’t want to spend too much time on meaningless, surfacelevel talks, and they expect their partners to have an open mind and eagerness to discuss major topics.

HSPs Get Affected by the Environment More than Their Partners

We all prefer some kinds of environments more than others. However, an HSP’s system invests excess energy into processing the signals around them – whether that’s light, activity, noise, or simply the existence of other people. This means that even a mildly “busy” place can quickly become all-consuming for an HSP and can overwhelm their senses.

As an HSP’s partner, you need to understand three basic rules –

Think if your HSP partner will enjoy an event before making a plan.

In case the venue is going to be crowded, busy, or loud, give them plenty of warning in advance. Be ive and understanding if the HSP says they need to leave – even if they were having fun a couple of minutes earlier.

Conflict Takes a Big Toll on HSPs

Most people don’t like to be in a conflict situation. However, for an HSP, it’s more than that, as a conflict situation can significantly overwhelm them. It’s a situation that calls for firm and fast responses and a major amount of emotional overload. This is essentially a two-in-one challenge for HSPs.

For better or worse, several HSPs deal with this problem by going the extra mile to please their partners. This can lead to a problem, especially when they don’t speak up about their needs.

People dating HSPs need to be fully aware of this tendency as this will help your partner feel safe to speak what’s on their mind and look for ways to manage conflict appropriately as a couple. Again, listening skills and creating a safe space for open and honest discussion go a long way.

HSPs Want to Be Accepted

Many HSPs have had several suitors who spent absolutely no time in understanding them. They are people who saw the HSP’s sensitivity, their quirky personality, and their creativity and said, “That’s so charming, I really love that!” But the same people never took the time to say, “I fully accept and love the side

that needs me, the side that feels things so deeply, the side that has to process, the side that’s inconvenient when it gets overwhelmed.”

These two sides are part of a single person, and no HSP can have one without the other. Thus, HSPs tend to block people who only want one of their sides and not the other.

If you’re romantically involved with an HSP, you need to take the time to accept and listen to your partner – for their entire self – and they will start loving you more deeply than you have ever been loved before.

Conclusion

HSPs are meaning-driven. In a romantic relationship, they are highly dedicated and willing to invest extra efforts in building a deeply meaningful connection – making them more likely to have a healthy, rich, and committed relationship, despite the obstacles they come across.

Nevertheless, there are several more ways in which being an HSP can impact your love life. So, make sure you’re on the lookout for ways in which your personality can influence not only your relationship with your partner but also others.

Chapter 9 – Selecting the Right Healer for an HSP

Now that we’ve discussed the challenges and problems faced by an HSP in their day-to-day life, let’s take a look at how to overcome them and heal the wounds that you’ve suffered because of being an HSP.

Today, there are a multitude of healing techniques d, and it can be quite easy for you to get overwhelmed in trying to choose the best one for yourself. In fact, you will find yourself surrounded by a plethora of therapies, healers, books, herbs, and supplements that claim to help you. In this chapter, we’ll talk about how you can select the right healer for yourself.

Pick Thoughtfully

Every HSP is different. Thus, a method that works for one HSP can have an adverse impact on another. We highly recommend that you consult with a holistic medical doctor before starting any alternative healing program. Moreover, you need to carefully review each modality and use your gut feeling to decide which one is most suitable for you. It would be good to spend some time reflecting on each of the descriptions listed below and note if any of the methods seem to resonate with you.

Acupuncture

This is an ancient Chinese system of healing, where thin needles are inserted into specific points of the body. This technique helps boost the immune response and balance the flow of ow energy throughout the body to alleviate pain.

Some HSPs may have an adverse reaction to acupuncture due to the slight pricking sensation when needles are inserted. It’s important for HSPs to interview an acupuncturist before their first treatment to determine if the practitioner is gentle. Some acupuncturists insert needles in the body so deeply that the patient may experience sharp pain, while other practitioners are so gentle that the patient feels virtually no sensation.

You may also want to consider acupressure or shiatsu, both of which use pressure from the practitioner’s fingers and hands to stimulate points on the body, relieving pain and stress. If you opt for this, make sure you let the therapist know if the pressure is too strong.

Aromatherapy

This branch of herbal medicine uses the inhalation of essential oils extracted from plants and herbs for healing purposes. The inhalation of fragrances like lavender, jasmine, or rose can help create a peaceful atmosphere on an emotional level. The absorption of chemicals of the essential oils into the bloodstream, lungs, and sinuses can help heal some physical illnesses.

Even though aromatherapy is an excellent approach to calm down the HSP’s nervous system, individuals who are sensitive to fragrances may have a deleterious reaction to the treatment. Before you buy an aromatherapy pot and essential oils, you may want to test the procedure, as well as the essential oils. Often, displays of “tester” sample bottles are available where aromatherapy essential oils are sold. The tester display can be a valuable source of information.

Ayurveda

Ayurveda is a five-thousand-year-old system of healing from India. In an ayurvedic consultation, a practitioner evaluates each individual’s constitution and creates a specific treatment plan based on the patient’s constitution. Then the practitioner makes specific recommendations to restore harmony in the patient, which could include diet, herbs, exercise, yoga, herbal steam baths, oil massage, and lifestyle changes.

Bio

Bio is a technique where a practitioner hooks you up to monitors that gauge your basic physiological responses, such as your heart rate or skin temperature. During the session, you can check the readings on a monitor to learn how to control your response to stimuli. Once you learn how to regulate your body’s vital functions, you can reduce stress and pain.

While bio training is generally enjoyable and relaxing, some HSPs may feel uncomfortable being hooked up to machines with wires. You may want to visit a bio clinic and become familiar with the procedure before starting your own treatment.

Chiropractic

Chiropractic doctors make adjustments to the ts and spine that can impact the nervous system. Such adjustments can lead to healing of the back along with other physical problems. However, several HSPs may find the adjustments to be too invasive and jarring for their sensitive nervous system.

Nevertheless, there are gentle forms of chiropractic adjustments available.

Network Spinal Analysis is a form of neurological work that brings about a deeper level of healing, getting past physical, emotional, and mental traumas to help you develop new strategies to handle the stresses of daily life more effectively.

Counseling

Counseling or psychotherapy can help the HSP cope with the challenges of living in an overstimulating non-HSP world. You may want to see a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family counselor, or a licensed social worker.

Counseling and psychotherapy usually work in a continuum. At the counseling end, you will receive information, advice, and tips for carrying out what you have learned in this book. However, you need to work from the psychotherapy end of the continuum if you are feeling recurring inappropriate emotions (depression, anxiety, anger) that are interfering with your life, or you have not been able to implement counseling recommendations.

Holistic/Alternative Physicians

Holistic/alternative physicians are medical doctors who have received training in either herbal or Chinese medicine, supplements (such as vitamins, minerals, and amino acids), nutrition, homeopathy, or acupuncture.

The advantage of consulting with a medical doctor is their knowledge of the side effects of taking herbs and supplements and their ability to order appropriate diagnostic tests.

Homeopathy

Homeopathic medicine utilizes highly diluted remedies made from natural substances that catalyze natural healing responses in the patient. Many homeopathic remedies can promote calmness and tranquility. Homeopathy has been used extensively in England for many years.

Avoid any adverse reactions; you may want to consult with a medical doctor with homeopathic training or make sure that the practitioner is knowledgeable about any potential side effects. Most homeopathic practitioners object to their patients using many other forms of treatment, including allopathic drugs and herbal formulas, since they may cancel out the remedy. Although homeopathy is generally safe, you still need to use caution when utilizing this method.

Meditation

During meditation, the person is not reacting to the past or worrying about the future. Concentrative meditation focuses the attention on the breath or a mantra (words). Mindfulness meditation involves being a witness to the mind without reacting.

There are several schools of meditation that teach both concentrative and mindfulness meditation. Look up any meditation technique thoroughly before committing to beginning a regular practice. You need to use your discrimination and intuition to select the approach that is most in tune with your sensitivity.

Conclusion

Adopting any one of these healing techniques will kickstart your journey toward inner peace. Once you slowly begin to work on these techniques, you will experience more tranquility and joy in your life. Always that you are not alone. There are thousands, or perhaps millions of HSP in every country who are also trying to cope with a sensitive nervous system. Once you have the coping skills to survive in our overstimulating world, you can truly enjoy being a highly sensitive person.

Chapter 10 – Medical Care for HSPs

In the previous chapter , we took an in-depth look at specific techniques to effectively heal HSPs.

In this chapter, we’ll discuss how your personality impacts your response to medical care in general and the specific medications you might be consuming or are offered because of your personality.

How Does Your Personality Impact Your Medical Care?

There are several ways in which your personality impacts your medical care. Some of these include:

You’re more sensitive than regular people to bodily symptoms and signs If you don’t live a life that is in line with your trait, you will develop more stress-induced illnesses You are highly sensitive to medicines and other types of medical care You are highly sensitive to painful sensations You feel overstimulated by medical procedures, treatments, examinations, and environments In “healthcare” environments, you strongly feel the presence of suffering and death Due to the above factors and the fact that most healthcare providers aren’t HSPs, your relationships with them are quite troublesome.

The bottom line is that as an HSP, you are generally more stimulated than the regular patient. Even if your healthcare provider is gentle enough to not treat your overstimulation as a nuisance or a problem, it still makes things quite problematic. For instance, your ability to voice out your concern decreases significantly.

The good thing is that there are several solutions to this problem. For example, before meeting with a healthcare provider, you can prepare a list of questions and take notes. You can ask a close friend or family member to accompany you to listen and put forth questions that you may not have thought of or forgotten. You can even explain your problem to the healthcare provider and allow them to calm your senses with some small talk or whatever technique they prefer. Also, never feel too shy to ask the healthcare provider to repeat instructions and to be available for post-consultation calls to answer any new questions that you might have thought of later.

A New Way of Dealing with Medical Professionals

1. Think of a medical situation that is socially uncomfortable, overstimulating, or problematic for you in any way. It might be your response to being undressed (apart from a hospital gown) to a certain type of examination, or to having your teeth grilles, blood drawn, or receiving a report or diagnosis that is unclear or delayed.

2. Think about the medical situation in of your personality, including your personality’s potential positive role. For instance, in case there’s a problem, you will notice it sooner and be more meticulous in following instructions. However, most importantly, think of the things you need to make the situation less overwhelming.

3. Think of ways in which you can get what you need. This might be something you can do on your own. However, it probably encomes a little element of communicating about your sensitivity to a healthcare provider. It’s best that you write down a comprehensive script for yourself. Make sure that your script exudes self-respect and will garner respect from others without being arrogant or rude.

You can even have someone, preferably in the medical sector, go over your script. Then practice the dialogues with them. After the role-play is over, ask them how they felt while you were speaking.

4. Contemplate ways in which you can apply what you have practiced to the next time you receive medical care. At this point, you should return to these points and practice more to turn your imagination into reality.

Word of Warning About Medical Labels for Your Personality

Research is rapidly proving how your mental attitudes impact our immune system and illness. In fact, it even shows that certain people tend to have feelings and thoughts that could lead to illness. But since healthcare providers focus more on illness, they fail to consider if there are some positive sides to a personality type that might accompany certain illnesses.

Nevertheless, there are cultural prejudices as well towards certain personality types that are the actual source of damage. For instance, healthcare professionals can indicate their prejudice by claiming that a specific type of trait or personality is negative or unhealthy. These signs can manifest themselves in the description of sensitivity as a “syndrome” or that these people “often lose control” or are “out of balance.”

Always keep in mind that there will be times when you will feel that you are overreactive, are out of control, and have lost your balance. HSPs living in a highly stimulating environment are guaranteed to feel this way, particularly those who’ve had a rough personal history or a very challenging childhood.

In such cases, do let healthcare professionals help you with medicines, even if they sound a little arrogant about it. Just make sure that you start with a small dose and then gradually move to a larger one. Also, it’s not your personality that’s at fault, but the society in which you were born and live in.

Why Should You Take Prozac and Other Medications?

As recommended above, you need to discuss your personality with your healthcare professional. When you go for a consultation, you will be prescribed a “psychoactive” drug as a long-term solution – probably an anti-depressant, like Prozac, or an anxiety-reducing medication like Valium.

These medications can be extremely beneficial if you’re in a crisis or need a short-term solution to moderate your overstimulation or its effects, such as not eating or sleeping properly. The bigger question, however, is if you should take a permanent medication to “cure” your personality. Well, many healthcare professionals think you should. Nevertheless, as an HSP, you need to thoroughly research the medication and its effects before making any decision.

Medications During A Crisis

There is a huge difference between consuming psychoactive medications during a crisis and using them to bring a permanent change to your personality. Often medication can be the simplest or even the only way to break the vicious cycle of overstimulation and lack of sleep at night and normal functioning during the day.

In this case, your healthcare professional might either promptly prescribe medications or tell you to suffer through a painful state of mind. Thus, the best way is to determine ahead of time what steps you will take in a crisis and then find a healthcare professional whose philosophy regarding medicated matches your own.

Medications for Instantly Stopping Arousal

There are numerous psychoactive drugs, but the ones offered most frequently to HSPs include fast-acting anxiety-reducing drugs, such as Xanax, Valium, and Librium. All of these drugs stop arousal in its tracks in just a couple of minutes.

Many people swear by these drugs for helping them cope with a stressful time or for getting sleep. However, you should keep in mind that while the effects of these drugs are temporary, they can become addictive if taken for long.

Medications to Overcome the Effects of Long-Term Overstimulation

HSPs are also often advised to use anti-depressants to cope with any real or perceived drawbacks of their personality. In a crisis, these drugs certainly prevent suffering and can even save your life.

Anti-depressants take around two to three weeks to work, and hence they aren’t really addictive. But there’s no immediate benefit as well. Nevertheless, a lot of people still find it difficult to cease their use.

If you decide that you want to use anti-depressants, make sure you first consult with an experienced psychiatrist.

Conclusion

As an HSP, you will be more sensitive to medications than the rest of the population. Thus, before you start consuming any medications, make sure you consult with a doctor regarding the best type of medication for your specific needs. When it comes to medication, in general, it’s essential to be under the guidance of a healthcare professional who not only knows and understands you but also has a philosophy on medication that is similar to yours.

Chapter 11 – How to Work with HSPs

In the last chapter of the book, we will shift our focus a little and address nonHSPs and discuss how they can manage and work with HSPs, whether it’s their kids, students, employees, or patients.

Tips for Parents of Highly Sensitive Kids

Having a highly sensitive kid at home can get difficult or even frustrating at times. However, it’s essential that parents understand their feelings and accept them as they are. Listed below are some parenting strategies for a highly sensitive child that may help you deal with your sensitive little one.

Give them some “alone” time, which will help them recharge themselves. Be empathetic and understanding if you see your child crying or getting overstimulated. Help them overcome their fears by being patient. Get a pet for your child so that they have a companion to play with (make sure your child isn’t allergic to pets). Avoid using severe disciplinary measures such as yelling, spanking, etc. Talk to your child when they’re upset. Help them stand up to people who bully them. Don’t attempt to change their personality as this will prove detrimental to their overall growth. Help your highly sensitive child relax. For instance, you can incorporate half an hour of a yoga session into their daily routine.

Tips for Teachers of Highly Sensitive Students

Teaching HSPs requires a different strategy than teaching non-HSP students. While HSP students are easily overstimulated physiologically, they also tend to pick up on the subtleties in a learning environment.

Moreover, HSP students are also quite conscientious and try to give their best performance. In fact, many of them are even gifted. But no one can perform well when overstimulated and HSPs generally get overstimulated more easily. The harder HSPs try when they’re under pressure or observation, the more likely they are to fail, which can be extremely demotivating for them.

Try to maintain a disciplined classroom. High amounts of stimulation such as a noisy classroom can exhaust and distress HSPs. Some of them might withdraw, while others, particularly boys, may become hyperactive. Avoid overprotecting the highly sensitive student. However, if you encourage them to take up a difficult task, make sure they’re successful in it. Make concessions for the highly sensitive person. For instance, if they have to present something, allow them to use notes or read aloud as this will reduce their arousal. Be cautious of the cultural prejudices against introversion, quietness, shyness, etc. Watch out for it in yourself and other students. Teach students to respect different personalities.

Tips for Employers of Highly Sensitive Employees

HSPs are great assets for teams because of their insightfulness, empathy, conscientiousness, and talent. However, because of their trait, HSPs can also indicate absenteeism, high stress, and burnout, which can be a huge cost for employers, affecting morale and the overall corporate culture. However, there are some tips that employers can use while working with highly sensitive employees.

Pay attention to your employees and don’t treat them like machines. Do your homework on HSPs to protect them and appreciate the additional value they add to your organization. HSPs do not perform well when they’re being observed for evaluation purposes. Look for other ways to learn about their performance. Don’t stigmatize HSPs as they’re one of the most socially valuable and creative employees. Invest in a low-stress, working space – modern open offices are filled with distractions that can overwhelm HSPs. Make quiet spaces available to reduce stress and improve productivity and morale. HSPs don’t like self-promotion and wish that they can be noticed for their efforts, so make sure you appreciate the honest hard work of your highly sensitive employees.

Tips for Healthcare Professionals Working with Highly Sensitive Patients

Healthcare professionals often have to work with HSPs. Here are some tips that will help healthcare professionals provide the best medical care to their highly sensitive patients.

Rushing or getting agitated will only aggravate the physiological stimulation of HSPs. Because of the stress caused by such overstimulation, the HSP will not be able to communicate properly. Ask HSPs what they want from you to help stay calm. This could either be a conversation to distract them, silence, debriefing regarding the procedure, or some medication. Don’t be annoyed or surprised by the HSP having a lower pain threshold, more side effects to medications, or even better response to “subclinical” dosages of medications. These are all aspects of their physiological differences. Encourage your highly sensitive patients to bring someone along with them for their appointments or prepare for an appointment by writing down questions. Allow them to call you if they any points or questions later.

Conclusion

Whichever field you’re in, you will definitely come across a few HSPs, and you can use the abovementioned tips to work with them effectively.



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About the Author

‘When someone tells you, it can’t be done, it’s more a reflection of their limitation, not yours...’

Dorian Hackett is a native Austrian and an author, who writes all his work in English. He graduated from with a degree in Civil Engineering and a master’s in Construction and currently works for a construction company. He is engaged to be married and lives his fiancé and their Labrador, Murphy.

As an aside to his day job, Dorian discovered that he enjoyed writing while he was completing the thesis for his masters. So, when he was finished with studying, he decided to write books that would help others to improve their lives and fortunes. His two titles to date are Millionaire Mindset, which helps readers to develop the right train of thought for success and Speed Listening, which is useful for those who have to plough through lots of information in their jobs.

In his spare time Dorian enjoys working out at the gym as often as he can and walks his dog to relieve the stresses of daily life. He loves to travel to exciting and distant destinations when he gets the opportunity and when on vacation, he is a keen scuba diver. One of his long time ambitions is to ride a motorcycle on a proper racetrack to satisfy his need for speed.

As far as the future goes, Dorian hopes to write more books in the future, that will entertain and educate his readers and hopefully go some way to changing their lives, even if just a little.

Other Books By This Author

In today’s world, possessing ordinary reading and listening skills will not help you because the world relies on speed. There is a lot of information available and not enough time to go through it all. Speed listening will help you acquire an important skill.

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A concise explanation of what you will learn in this book includes:

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When you change your mindset, anything is possible. Inspired by "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill and "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki, the book “Millionaire Mindset: Strategies Used by the Rich” will help you take strategic steps to financial freedom. In the book you’ll learn about:

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Do you ever wonder how some get rich easily while others have financial struggles their whole lives, working for someone else? What is the difference between those people? Is it the way in which they were raised, the education they received, the habits they developed over the years? There’s a simple truth: you have the power of changing your mindset. When you do so, your life will change and you’ll be on your road to financial freedom.

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Learning new things is an excellent part of life, and we should all aspire to learn and develop. It takes time, though, and time is precious.

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This well-organized book encomes all stages of the learning process, memory process from the creation of positive action, the biological base of memory, learning ideas, and much more. This ebook s primary focus is on the working memory and strategies that help to fasten learning.

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