I Am You...and You Are Me 575ym

Table of Contents

Foreword

Chapter 1An Ordinary Yet Extraordinary Life

Chapter 2The Life-changing Tower Moment

Chapter 3The Initiation into Spirituality

Chapter 4The Risen Phoenix

Chapter 5The Grand Conjunction

Chapter 6Do You Believe in Magic?

Chapter 7Spirituality and The Greater Purpose

Acknowledgment

Foreword

WE GO THROUGH OUR EVERYDAY lives as kids wishing to grow up sooner, but having reached there, we intend to reverse the situation. Everyday we endure life as pre-programmed robots living by society’s definition of the “norm”, but how many of us truly question this matrix? How many of us have actually asked, what is the true reason that each one of us was brought into this world? What has always been our very own individual purpose and yet what can we serve as the conscious collective? The truth of the matter is that if each of us were to truly address this question that ventures beyond the possibilities of the mundane realm we live in, realisation will hit that time and coincidence is inexistent. Everything has always been divinely orchestrated in the hope that each individual would be able to tap into this knowledge, “the secret knowledge of consciousness”, that encomes us, in the hope that we rise as a collective to save and change the thinking of humanity as a whole. I spent 33 years of my life chasing things every other human would, looking for ways that I would appear proud in others’ eyes, until a day came where I questioned what am I doing here? Why am I trying to make others happy or why am I even trying to seek approval from others? Instead, how can I as an individual partake in the greater good of humanity that would permit me to see happiness in another’s eyes? Never in my wildest dreams did I think the answer would present until I awoke one day only to experience the uttermost peace, joy, love and happiness in my heart. An unexplainable feeling, it was like a feeling of divine power. It was a feeling of having asked that question from the depth of my soul and at that moment I knew that this was something I wanted to share with the world, a birth given right, a purpose we are all meant to go through and not be isolated from. That the meaning of life was love, peace, joy and faith, one that is not to be kept to ourselves neither to only be shared with loved ones, but instead to be shared with every soul. I am not here to share my story alone, but instead make everyone realise our stories all exist as a collective to make us arrive at the same destiny. The hope to achieve something much greater than just ourselves. It’s the idea of embarking on a journey that involves us all to stand in the power of ONENESS. We were built as social animals, never meant to be working alone but instead to cooperate with one another to build a greater world. One that would prove our lives to be

purposeful and fulfilling. My only hope by having this book written is to awaken the consciousness within people who would go on to spread this to others. The idea has always been to pay it forward. Hence, I ask you to wake up and escape the matrix to take this leap of faith towards a reality that only holds the magic of peace, happiness and love.

CHAPTER 1

An Ordinary Yet Extraordinary Life

“I have a story, and so do you.”

IT IS HARD TO ENVISION or picture Evelyn’s life by just skimming through her online profile or bumping into her on the street. Her simplistic nature of baggy sweats and jeans, a jumper or simple tee with high-cut sneakers, lost in a world of Trance music beg to differ from the “first impression”. Often I joke around telling her “I guess you never really left college”. Engulfed by calmness and rich in universal wisdom, the mere moments spent in her presence not only leaves one feeling abundant in life’s lessons but also in stitches with her humour. Evelyn lives on the basis of mindfulness that many find difficult to master, her wide eyes always quick to pick up on things many would miss and her intense sensitivity towards situations before they even present themselves. Envisaging someone like her having endured 33 years of a very challenging life would be unimaginable. However, by 35, it was through those darkest times that she finally stepped into the light. Despite her experiences, she remains her authentic self and faces the world with constant forgiveness, inner peace, comion, patience, and humility. Although Evelyn came into the world long after her grandparents demise, she was constantly reminded by her parents about the nature of their beauty. Her paternal granddad was a well-known, disciplined and stern man who played a big role in the railways. In a small town, she always said she ired the stories on how everyone back then respected and greeted one another and were more of a family than strangers, something she said was lacking today. Evelyn’s mischievous nature always sent her dad yelling, “If your granddad were alive, you have no idea what soup you would be in!” and her response would jokingly always remain, “Yup. Hence, I came later.” Her grandmother was a French tutor equipped with exceptional cooking skills. On particular feast days, she would put the skills to use and cook up a scrumptious buffet to be fed to the people who would visit the church from various regions and countries. When it came to her maternal grandparents, Evelyn did not know much but she said they were beautiful individuals just by looking at the nature of her mother. She always told me, “I am who I am not only because of who I chose to be, but because of the people my parents’ raised me to become and if it weren’t for their own parents’, I won’t be standing here.” They always say that our genes stem from previous

generations, clearly it isn’t just inclined to the physiological aspects as the ion to learn French, excellent cooking skills, excessive cleanliness and humility was etched in her DNA. So you may wonder, with such stature, discipline and order, where does her mischievousness stem from? The answer was always simple and complemented with a cheeky grin: “How can you be so mundane? If something intrigued you, wouldn’t you want to explore it further?” However, she always did give credit to a fun and loving man on this issue; her dad. She used to say that he had the time of his life partying and exploring the world, yet still managing to attain a medical degree. Her mother on the other hand, having grown up in India, gave up her Law degree to ensure both daughters were constantly nurtured and brought up with culture and respect for others. Evelyn would always say that after 41 years of marriage to date, she has rarely come across two people that constantly annoy each other and yet were handicapped without the other. She called it the ultimate depiction of love where all they saw was being a pillar of strength and love not just to themselves but more importantly, to the lives they brought into this world.

1985

“Love remains the Universal key”

On one , Evelyn recollects her mum saying that as she was delivering her, the church bells started chiming and at that point her initial thought was “You made me miss my church service” but as time progressed, it dawned upon her that a child filled with positivity, independence, strength, laughter, charm and love was born. To this day, her mum holds the belief that those bells at the very second she was crowning were an indication that this child would be “different”. While her elder sister, Hannah, was the embodiment of a perfect, quiet, obedient girl, mostly keeping to herself and getting lost in her own thoughts, contrastingly, Evelyn was the complete opposite: mischievous, adventurous, loud and cracking jokes even when she was minutes away from a spanking. Her vibrant personality was distinct from that of the first child. Every time the house was too quiet, her parents would say “The mastermind is silent, can someone please go and check on what she is up to this time?” Evelyn did ask her exactly what she would have up her sleeve and her mother would just respond “If Evelyn wasn’t rummaging through Hannah’s art supplies, she was busy breaking things apart just to figure how to fix them back.” Evelyn found pleasure in the simple joys of life that weren’t exclusive to toys but rather using her hands and tools to deconstruct to create her own reconstruction. Since young, she loved exploring the mysteries of the world, from climbing in the jungle, to dealing with electronics and carpentry, reading Ancient Egyptian myths and the wonders of the world. Growing up, she found her ion resided in the outdoors, particularly with the calming, soothing effects of water. She was always intrigued by how the world operates, why it was spherical and what other galaxies and planets held. Stacks of encyclopedias lined her parents’ room that somehow addressed her curiosity where she would spend hours sprawled on the floor skimming through different editions although the vocabulary was far too advanced. Her mum observed this distinct behaviour that neither in the family

acquired this behaviour and to make things more interesting, she used to get on her hygienist mother’s nerves whenever she would run barefoot in the outdoors. Of course, at that point of time, she never did think anything of it. By then most children were way more engaged in indoor gaming systems and watching their favourite cartoons. Hence, finding very like-minded children within close proximity was rather a challenge but she never found that as a setback, as her adventures sent her lost into a world of imagination and possibilities. She saw magic in every little thing that the Universe held. When it was time to actually be indoors, her ion was directed towards creativity, from writing to drawing to sewing and handcraft. Evelyn’s house was filled with drawing pads and coloring books where she would find herself lost in the midst of coloring these pictures. However, only later on in life she did realise that from a very young age, she sought perfection in everything she created. If a picture wasn’t coloured too well, she would dismiss it and move on to a new one, only to come back at a later time to correct it. Needless to say, her sister’s pieces were always the target as she found them better than what she was trying to produce. As she grew up, she found that this habit had kicked into heightened levels where perfection in what she was producing was an utmost necessity to the extent of writing and rewriting her school and college notes until she was satisfied with the output. She mentions that the essential point was to realise that there was an issue and if left unattended, could escalate into more important life situations. This exact scenario presented itself throughout her adulthood, posing as a challenge that she had to address to progress forward. On her parents’ Evelyn grew up with a pure heart. They describe her as a child with unlimited comion and non-judgemental even towards strangers. Despite the countless scolding and punishment she received, she would run back to her parents minutes later asking for food or seeking attention. The attitude resonated from the idea that not talking to people out of anger was far worse than any castigation she received and was not worth in her words “Maybe longer than five minutes” as anything longer was overbearing. Although her child-like nature was prominent, she developed independence at the very tender age of five. Like any other family, situations and circumstances sometimes require the family to request the help of their siblings to watch over their child while they had to forgo energy towards another who was constantly triggered by health issues. Her Uncle and Aunt along with their two grown sons watched over Evelyn and played important roles in her growth. They treated her

as one of their own and although they were busy and the kids far older, they constantly found time to buy her books and serenade her with songs on the guitar. When asked truly at that point how exactly did she feel, Evelyn replied she ed at that age missing her parents’, feeling a little lonely and rejected. Hence, much of her time was spent preoccupied with things she could do as there were no toys nor were there kids of the same age around. She was constantly bullied in her kindergarten but never complained as she did have lovely friends. No one actually knew what was going on due to her nature of “not making a mountain out of a molehill”. Eventually this came to when one fine day, a beautiful Japanese family with three amazing kids turned up in the neighbourhood. Evelyn walked herself over and her bubbly nature instantly radiated to form one of the longest friendships. She said the most interesting experience is that children did not require a language to communicate, play and laugh. Despite the slight barrier on those , they formed the best of relationships and sought each others’ company daily. Today she says “Adults need to learn this. The only language that speaks the loudest is comion”. The most important lesson drawn from her background was to be comionate to everyone regardless of their social status, race or religion. Evelyn found it remarkable that her dad never turned down any patients who came to his clinic seeking medical attention. His asset book contained all patients who had difficulty settling their medical bills, yet he never returned to those pages looking for the money they owed. Evelyn would always joke and say that the book was as thick as her PhD laboratory notebook. The household practiced moderation, where both daughters were to remain active in physical and academic education. Since young, Evelyn’s dad encouraged them to participate in sports and he later on sought Taekwondo as a form of not just martial arts but self-discipline for both children. From that point, she discovered her ion and potential in this art-form and began exploring Muay Thai and Silat, an Ancient Malay martial art, in her adulthood. She always said regardless of the origin, they all shared the same features, mastering physical, mental and spiritual discipline. The idea isn’t to fight with another because every single practice requests that you walk away or run from danger as the first point of defense. It goes beyond that, it’s about mastering your own body and mind. It’s about dancing with the energy to create a source of power that envelopes you while you vibe with your surroundings. Throughout life, Evelyn showed strong determination in everything she

undertook, from losing weight to achieve an ideal BMI, to choosing her own method of learning rather than operating on the norm in order to obtain the results that were sought after. From a young age, she desired to create an impact in the medical field by becoming a doctor, a member of Doctors Without Borders and helping people in South Africa. However, life held a different plan for her as circumstances did not permit that route and instead paved the way into the scientific field where she successfully obtained a doctorate at 30 although her ion did not lay there.

MEETING OF AN ESSENTIAL SOULMATE

At the age of 18, Evelyn decided to move out during her college and university days unbeknown that from that point forward she was never going back to live at home as life had drawn out a different plan for her. Nevertheless, she maintained a close bond with family and relatives. During this period, she had a few dates, meeting many interesting individuals. However, her desire to find someone who would share the same amount of love she had to offer never waivered. the saying “When you stop looking, that’s when it all happens”? True enough, Evelyn stumbled onto Peter, her now ex-husband. It was a relationship that at that point she described as designed in the Heavens’. She felt as if her prayers were answered and she had stumbled onto the perfect match, because everything felt blissful. People regarded them as the epitome of soulmates. By just entering a room, they would trigger everyone to drift towards their bright personalities. She recollects now her failure to realise she was busy seeking someone to complete and love her that it fell through all they shared was more of a tight bond of friendship. She lost sight of all the red flags, blinded by an illusion of sacrificing her true happiness to possess a significant other that would merely seem to be truthful, ive and caring. Nonetheless, Evelyn relates the story that follows below in a grateful and insightful contract that moulded her into the individual today, providing her the most profound friendships maintained to this point. She always says “The Universe had a completely different plan for me to realise something much bigger than what I was seeking and in order to meet ten other different people in life, I had to share a life with this one individual first”. Initially, things presented as challenges as both were from different religious backgrounds that went against their families belief systems. Regardless, Evelyn’s Aunt who at that point of time was on her deathbed sought her niece’s happiness and created opportunities for Peter to be welcomed into the family. From that moment forward, they were more involved in each others’ family affairs and were inseparable. The couple shared a relationship becoming the pillar of not just for themselves but their families. Peter and Evelyn took on roles to share the workload from everything including household chores to

family obligations with neither communicating any discontent to whatever they might have felt nor providing room for doubt. As the relationship progressed, so did Evelyn’s desire to pursue her education. With the awardance of a scholarship, she managed to secure a PhD position in a renowned institute. Her belief system was that a doctorate wasn’t about obtaining a higher education, moreso it taught an individual emotional intelligence, the importance of teamwork, responsibility and multi-tasking. To Evelyn, it was a “way of life” rather than a “way to life”. With her 12 hour working schedule, she juggled responsibilities of serving roles as a fiancee, daughter, daughter-in-law to be, friend and sister by spending equal time, completing chores and most remarkably planning her entire wedding with limited assistance. Evelyn held on to her motto, “You can be busy doing anything for anyone but you can never be too busy to workout”. She never did openly mention how tough it could get but from the many times that we as colleagues would find her napping on the office desk or explaining that every weekend was a family occasion on Peter’s side was sufficient to provide us with more than just a hint.

CHASING THE DREAM

Upon completion of her doctorate, Evelyn decided to take a one year gap to further her ion by becoming a personal trainer at an international fitness club in her neighbourhood. She became one of the highest and successful achievers within a short period of time. When the break came to an end, Evelyn’s next move was to return to the scientific scene where she once again astounded everyone by securing a postdoctoral position in the United States. To her, the dream wasn’t so much the role, rather the achievement of stepping foot into the States coming from a country like hers’, fulfilling her lifelong desire. Peter was doubtful at the initial thought as he would have to forgo a life and family behind only to find himself in a jobless situation. Considering that they were already married by then and as ive as he was, they both embarked on the journey to Philadelphia. Evelyn recounts the experience as remarkable in of her career progression and exposure to an entirely different culture. While everyone viewed this as a blessing for the couple, it involved an immense amount of hard work, sacrifice and compromise from both parties. Evelyn’s extensive work hours and Peter’s shift timings sent the work-life balance out the door for the couple. From an inseparable scenario they started becoming more distant. Conversations that were once endless now had turned into constant bickering and unhappiness. The obstacles started to put a more obvious strain on their marriage. The excitement of living abroad and the adventurous spirit was replaced by workrelated stress, fear of lacking material abundance and the immense loneliness started creeping in. The arguments eventually led to confrontation of the issue at hand and Peter eventually convinced Evelyn that in order to salvage the marriage it would benefit the couple to head back home once the one year contract ended. With a heavy heart, Evelyn’s boss eventually agreed to let her go with the promise that she could return at any point in the future. As much as she was willing to do this for the promise held in marriage, deep down, Evelyn could not resist the hollow feeling that remained in her chest, leaving her feeling at a loss and empty.

Upon returning, she tried for various jobs, but never managed to nail down any until a secure offer came along easily from a famous research institution. Initially reluctant, she was confused as to how this would save the marriage cause she would once again be pushed in the direction to leave the country and to make matters more interesting, this time around Peter would not tag along. After careful consideration and the thought of responsibilities, she made up her mind to accept the offer as the best option. Much to her expectation, Evelyn found herself buried in the routine long working hours. Evelyn gave her all in order for the marriage work and ed them financially, taking constant trips back to Malaysia while Peter made a couple over. Although she was surrounded by good company, she felt a part of her was missing. Eventually, overcome by excessive mental exhaustion and having spent hours crying in front of the altar, begging to understand what her purpose was and why situations presented difficult when she had done her best in every possible way. Little did she know that very question held a tremendous power in it.

CHAPTER 2

The Life-changing Tower Moment

“When the soul questions, the Universe responds”

EVELYN HAS ALWAYS HELD POWER in her intuition and psychic abilities from a tender age. Sensing and knowing when something good or bad was bound to happen was her forte. Interestingly, she always ignored the signs when it came to herself, instead using it to assist others. However, this time around, what she felt was an unavoidable, intense knowing that something major was about to take place in her life. A week before her 33rd birthday, she was aware of a strange feeling creeping in and kept telling her mum and Peter, “I don’t know what is occurring but it feels like I’ve been hit by a bus”. While her mum kept reassuring that things would eventually work out in her favour, she noted a strange tone in Peter’s voice, one that sounded like a combination of guilt and fear when he persistently questioned the meaning behind her statement as he was aware of her gifts. The day before her birthday, the nagging feeling presented itself in the 3-dimensional world when she uncovered on that very morning, that the marriage she so incessantly was trying to rescue came shattering into a million pieces, unforeseen by either Peter nor Evelyn when his infidelity of nine years was revealed. This news not only shook her to the core but also everyone who knew them as the “golden couple”. What hit Evelyn the most at that point was that in all her years it could have been revealed at any time, even before their marriage, but to happen a day before her birthday and weeks after her constant request to the creator and Universe made her believe there was something more to what was unfolding. The next couple of months were intense with both trying to fix a marriage although Evelyn had a stronger desire than Peter. The process was challenging as it raised questions on self-worth and image, especially coming from an Asian household. Despite this, Evelyn with her forgiving nature, flew back home during that duration to try and mend things. As time progressed, with Peter constantly suggesting divorce as a solution, she started to question the entire relationship to think of how she actually felt and what really mattered. Was she looking to please everyone and save her and her family’s image? Was she afraid of ending up alone? Was she fearful she would be unable to handle situations independently? Did she still love Peter, a man who she never truly knew? Most

importantly, was it worth it to sacrifice her happiness and the life she had built? It was at this tipping point that she decided the damage had been done and succumbing further into the darkness was uncalled for. It is with this knowledge she returned to home to pack her belongings, file for a divorce and left everything behind in a calm and gracious manner. No bickering, arguing or pointing of fingers and essentially, never looking back. She made the judgement call that time had finally arrived to focus solely on self and to live life to the fullest by embracing each moment. The best virtue I have always ired in Evelyn personally, was the fact that she did everything in silence without having to justify her choices with anyone. She disregarded all comments and rumours by ignoring them stating, “People will talk, because that’s all they can do in order to avoid the problems that they already face. So why bother?” Stepping away with her head held high, gracefully; like a ballerina departing off the stage following her final performance. The standing ovation did not matter, Evelyn knew she had done her due diligence despite not attaining closure. Instead, her focus turned solely to healing her heart and becoming the best version of herself, the version that required understanding that the love you seek from another can only be provided by oneself first. She suffered through the process, similarly as anyone experiencing a loss would. Constant insomnia, bouts of tears and a close encounter with depression were among the things she endured in silence. With her family preoccupied on other emerging matters, Evelyn had to face the initial situation of healing alone. Nevertheless, her unwavering faith that the creator never presents a situation for a good individual only to have them embrace it alone rather, not only did he give her the immense strength but doors to extremely ive and protective people were held open. You may regard these people as “soul family”, destined to enter your life, having shared past lives with the promise of a reunion in the present. Of course, this realisation was only understood later as she had no remote clue on the term “spirituality” or even its mere existence. These individuals were there every other day ensuring she was fine, safe and had someone to talk to. However, to Evelyn the most essential thing she sought was to face the issue head on and give in to every emotion as intense as it was, in her , “It’s better to solve it rather than sweep it under the rug only to have it resurface again later years”. She turned to swimming and sitting at the base of the pool to eliminate the noise of the world and remain in her thoughts, listening to the beating sound of her heart helped her during these difficult times. She

always said, “You can never hear clearly until you extinguish the noise of the world”. It was during these times that she recalled a very strong memory that she relayed to me much later; “On the day of the divorce hearing, did you know that all couples were seated separately with their friends or family. We were the only ones standing together, laughing and joking”. At that point Evelyn knew that she had walked far beyond the point of return and harbouring any resentment or anger was never in her nature neither would it bring satisfaction or joy to either party. The dissolution of the marriage did not take away her memories of the good times they shared nor did it hinder friendships between the families. Evelyn did not maintain a bond with Peter neither did she resent him as she said continuing to have conversations with him would fail to make him realise what he did was wrong on all s. ”The bigger motive was telling him that I forgave him and more importantly I meant it”. To this day, Evelyn and her family maintain a healthy relationship with Peter’s side. Encomed by her warrior spirit, she was focused on improving her quality of life. She disconnected from social media and deployed her energy in CrossFit while reconnecting with friends she had lost with. In just months, armed with her heart-filled intention to be the change and choose self, Evelyn regained her power as an independent woman, learning to be comfortable in her own skin. She slowly started to look forward to exploring and experiencing new things. Evelyn travelled with friends on multiple trips to reconnect with her “outdoorsy” nature that had been held back over the ten years. Upon returning from her at that time, final trip, it all happened. The Universe began to show itself by kickstarting her spiritual journey unbeknown to her. She observed consistent patterns surrounding her life, absorbing in and being mindful about the changes occurring without questioning or disregarding the process. She began to sense her intuition strongly again and unlike before, this time she took the upper hand and seized it. Guided by her curious mind, she began to note how things that were not serving her anymore started to drift away into the abyss with the notion that only great times lay ahead. Her famous words which I have etched in my memory, “Once you have fallen this low, the only way is up”. Eventually, she moved out of the place she was staying due to unforeseen circumstances although the lingering feeling months preceding it presented itself. However, since it was uncalled for with a very small duration of notice,

the house-renting scene took a toll of its own. We walked in the heat, viewing countless places with multiple public transportation methods. Once again, displaying her strength as an independent foreigner managing it by herself. According to her, she wasn’t alone; “It was meant to be and I wasn’t alone, you were there and so was the creator. I am never alone, I was never built to be alone and I will never be alone”, with her signature smirk ending the remark. On one occasion, I us spending time together discussing our future. Sharing the last moments of 2019, watching the fireworks and commenting on the events that we would like to foresee occurring in 2020. Unknown to humanity, 2020 was not only an unimaginable year, but to Evelyn it was a miraculous one that saved her life and changed her entire perspective on everything she once knew. To my amazement, in 2019, Evelyn obtained a tattoo symbolizing her recovery from rising from the ashes. At that moment, her idea of obtaining it was vague and would only be disclosed the following year. Hence, her statement always remains in my mind; “I never embark on anything unintentionally, I do it because it holds a meaning, one which even if I fail to understand now, will uncover later. I just know that I need to do it”.

CHAPTER 3

The Initiation into Spirituality

“The death of ego breathes in the soul”

THE YEAR 2020 BROUGHT ON a pandemic that turned the entire world upside down, changing the course of humanity. No one foresaw what was coming, with our race living in a state of house arrest while nature found the opportunity to sustain itself, where pollution decreased, wildlife was at a better preservation rate and trees and flowers blossomed with butterflies fluttering in their magnificent colours and dance of courtship. Humanity was busy fighting over food supplies and toilet paper, each stripping off the shelves out of greed, failing to consider one another. On many levels, we all had to come to with isolation, death, grief, depression and yet many more were hit by the realisation of what was important in life. Each country’s government was doing the best they could to curb the spread and ensure enough supplies in of medical care, household items, food and finances. To the Universe, it was more of a paradigm shift, a time where the World needed to change its direction. It was another year of the “great awakening” and many would have to enter into “hermit mode”. Just like every other individual across the globe, although we live on the same island, chances of meeting each other were close to none. At that point Evelyn was living alone, completely isolated from everyone she knew. The initial thought that struck her mind was one of gratitude, at least everyone would be able to sit back and relax at home, focusing on themselves and their family, unaware of the duration of the state. Eventually, days turned into weeks and weeks into months, what seemed like a blissful situation became very dark and depressive without human . Evelyn began realising that once again, life-probing questions sought themselves back into her mind. She examined the cycle of working just to fort bills when it seemed like there was more to be done for humanity. Her desire to escape the matrix became so intense that from the deepest depths of her heart she knew her soul longed for something more. That very moment led to the initiation of the soul. Armed with determination, she ventured into her own darkness to seek the truth, which many escape from. Avoiding the dark night of the soul became inevitable,

one of the toughest spiritual processes to experience yet necessary in the search of light. Change is the only constant in life and resisting it is much of humanities nature but when a true purpose is sought after, divine intervention makes it inescapable to work in favour of the individual. The process itself requires the seeker to address and break free all life traumas, behavioural patterns and teachings that no longer serves one’s highest good. In other words, similar to the snake, the old skin is shed to be replaced by new. Ironically, this covering isn’t exactly “new”; it’s one that was long embedded in our psyche before being reconstructed into our DNA after the age of six by the acceptance of the “norm”. I us chatting hours together over the phone. Evelyn began opening up, itting all issues she had faced in life. She was engulfed by a sense of powerlessness and addressed how much of the problems and ways she handled life’s situations were due to emotions that she kept locked up since childhood. The thoughts allowed her to delve deeper into the reason for the feelings and through meditation, she received many more answers that opened doors to various past problems to be tackled. The purging involved massive amounts of tears, frustration and insomnia. As she began to clear these issues one by one, she realised that the only person she ever had to forgive in life for negligence was herself and the only individual who could provide her the love she seeked. Armed with the ability as an empath, and for those who may not know, the initial experience can be brutal when the emotion has not been mastered. Evelyn would feel intense emotions simply by looking at others’ situations and considering it was COVID, this did not improve the circumstances. On other days, she would explain how she felt as though her heart were about to explode due to the excess comion she felt for everything, living and nonliving. It was difficult to imagine or even decipher her thoughts and sensations at this time. The changing emotions at different time periods alongside her immense meditation s led her to half-suspect the possibility of schizophrenia or bipolar. By then, thanks to knowledge in countless forms of data and books coupled with her strong faith and belief in the ability to attain s to her questioning through meditation and silence, we knew they were symptoms of spiritual awakening. During this period, as her close friend, I became anxious about the process which eventually proved redundant. Her assurance and my faith in her words led me to trust that she was indeed guided and protected by a much higher power in order to complete the journey and stand in her truest form. Following this, Evelyn began incorporating many lifestyle changes, from trusting entirely in universal energy, meditation, showering multiple times as a form of cleansing

and listening to healing frequencies of music. She started to communicate in a very “sage-like” manner while still holding on to her excessive humour. One of her sentences that hit me the most was, “People hope to die and be at peace in heaven, but what if I told you that only death of ego was necessary to feel heaven on earth?” Evelyn went on to teach a few of us not just the true meaning of the “way of life” but through incidents that started miraculously occurring in her life, that magic happens when we relinquish the ego and accept that the world is nothing short of an illusion. She mentioned that the process was equivalent to metamorphosis; the evolution of a caterpillar into a butterfly, which requires an immense amount of strength to break free from a cocoon to transform into a beautiful, strong creature. She attributed strength to every individual who has been on this journey and said that; “It’s everyone’s birth-right to endeavour this process and if completed, the light at the end of the tunnel makes it all the more worthwhile”. Her final push was unexplainable and difficult to grasp but unavoidable. Recognising that her marriage was meant to shatter in order for the new to come in and the occurrence of the events that followed was a streak of lightning bolts that hit her. She finally understood and truly accepted that nothing was a coincidence and that everything was long written and signed in a soul contract before coming down to Earth. Everyone she had met served as a mirror image to serve as a reminder of values to be learnt in this lifetime, every failure was a setback by the Universe to learn from the mistakes and avoid cycle repetitions so that the soul would return to the path it was meant to fulfill. Eventually, Evelyn itted having developed additional abilities that were proven to me on many s, including healing and psychic abilities, with an additional telepathic bond that she shared with another. All of these would come into the light much later on bringing profound changes.

CHAPTER 4

The Risen Phoenix

“Once ignited, the flame can never be put off”

AWAKENING IS JUST THE SPARK of the entire spiritual journey. You begin encountering constant inner bliss, love, joy and contentment in everything. “The power of having nothing, is the power of acquiring everything”. The moment the Divine is recognised within ones’ self, the key has already been turned in the ignition. That was the exact phenomenon occurring in Evelyn’s life. So what is the awakened person’s mission? Following 50 consistent days of unimaginable inner battles, darkness and completion of self work, she felt a strong sense of contentment and pure, Divinely subjected Universal love. Evelyn continued trusting her process and permitted continued guidance from her intuition. From that point forward, her spiritual learning curve grew exponentially as she became more mindful and non-judgemental on life. Her take on mindfulness was that nature by itself required you to listen very carefully to the rhythm it played that allowed you to flow gracefully through life. What could all seem like a bunch of jargon in of experiences that she was relaying to many, but people surrounding started to take heed that things were occurring at a universal vibrational level, visible to the naked eye. Everywhere she walked, butterflies, birds and dragonflies would share her path. Synchronicities and signs started appearing everywhere, leading to events that happened in days or weeks following. Evelyn’s vibrational levels reached higher states leading to unspeakable glitches in technological devices and protection from various lower vibration situations as time progressed. The process by itself was now one no one could deject by just looking at the person she had become and the situations she encountered. Everyone who knew her was now unable to recognise the wise person she had transformed into but also how physically she presented differently, her aura, her vibe, her energy. Evelyn attributes her outcome to Universal guidance as she had no specific spiritual teacher in the 3-dimensional realm, nor did she understand what was occurring until much later. It was after this that she went through Kundalini awakening to achieve an utmost balanced state between the masculine and

feminine energies. She combined concepts of religion and spirituality, understanding that the teachings in religion were merely scratching the surface for those who did not quite decipher when instead they held greater meaning that paved the way to spirituality, “To stand in God-like manner”. She started unlocking akashic records and ancient wisdom that we all have ingrained in our DNA through meditation. Her questions were answered instantly on many occasions through meditation, or synchronistic findings on the internet, books, documentaries and podcasts without the need to seek them. Amidst the environmental and political chaos surrounding the world such as COVID and racial issues, Evelyn was able to dissociate, finding a sense of peace and calmness to maintain within herself. She recognised that the Divine was within everyone but was saddened by the fact that much of humanity failed to awaken the “sleeping giant”, instead seeking a world of destruction and living in the matrix that separated us from our entities. She always said, “We were given everything in this world for free; from air to food and plants; yet mass consumption made us put a price on everything. The definition of success no longer comes from comion and peace, rather material possession and power. If only man were to break free, this world would be Heaven by itself”. It was then that she took up the role of shining her inner light to create Heaven on Earth and to build comion in the heart’s of many. She started off by creating boundaries towards what was not working for her own good nor humanity. Of course, once you awaken, the purpose only slowly starts to unfold and understanding where to begin is the ultimate task. However, Evelyn was never in a rush and, trusting that everything would reveal itself in due time when the Universe knew she was ready. It all had to begin with baby steps. Her vibe would simply attract every stranger that crossed her path, people began to notice and smile at her in a country where sharing a gesture with a stranger was highly uncommon. I would always ask her, ”How did you know to respond to their smile when we are all wearing masks?” and her reply would simply be, “Well, if you look close enough the truth is that the eyes are the only window to the soul, so who cares about the mask?” The elderly in the community would randomly chat with her and recognise her wherever she went. Her respect towards them is profound for the wisdom they have gained over the years, many who have struggled through difficult times and been rejected and uncared for by their own children whom they raised. Evelyn’s calmness, laughter and positivity provided comfort for their lonely and comionate souls. Observing this as an outsider, to me, it seemed as though souls that recognised

the Godliness in each other were sharing life’s moments. One of humanity’s greatest fears is the fear of death. We once had a discussion on this topic and Evelyn expressed the concept that the soul lived an eternal life while the only death that happens is one of the physical body, the vessel, the one temporarily on this Earth. “Life on Earth is merely one of the many lessons we are given, rather than fearing death, honour living life instead. Every death, be it physical or egotistical, brings about rebirth. Without an end, there can be no beginning. Why not instead respect the vessel the Divine loaned to you and stand in your best version for the greater good of not just yourself but everyone else?” In the words of Evelyn, when asked about her experience; “The journey of this lifetime is to escape the illusion that humans have created over time, every perspective we have about people or situations are ultimately a reflection of ourselves. Life is a video game and we are just characters partaking in it. The idea is to excel every stage to win the game, but if we keep repeating the same mistakes then you will always find yourself back at the starting point. Hence, trust and surrender to co-create with the Universe. It is precious to have these realisations in order to create a future generation that is more aware than the current. Letting go of ego, fear and limiting self beliefs creates a space of peace, joy and comion within and all around you.”

CHAPTER 5

The Grand Conjunction

“To stand in power is to become the God within”

THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF the year of giving and receiving arrived, December. It was a precious memory etched into my brain and I considered myself lucky to witness this part of the process. This was partially due to the fact that the “stars were aligning in connection with the grand conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn; concurrently, Evelyn came into completion of her old karmic cycle. When an individual is successful in ing the tests placed by the Divine or Universe, whichever preference one could assume, the reward was always a promise. A vow of “gone with the old and in with the new”. By the end of 2020, Evelyn became very grounded, stepping out of the illusion of the matrix and standing in the balance of the Divine Masculine and Feminine, experiencing oneness with the Universe all resulting from surrendering to the entire process. One could simply witness the light that shone from her through her vibe and despite the person she had become, she stood at utmost humbleness and calmness, having chosen humanity over personal gain. She stood as “the God within”. As her research into spirituality progressed, she became more inclined towards not just the Western traditions but the Eastern as well and managed to incorporate them both based on situations that she felt she was guided by. Her tools expanded to tarot, numerology, astrology, astral projections and vivid dreams. Synchronicities were always presenting themselves as reassurances and she would always encounter angel numbers on car plates, the clock, buses, ments. I mean when it screams that loudly to anyone, you would definitely know it wasn’t a coincidence. Evelyn continued to allow her Higher Self to be the guidance of these interpretations that never proved wrong. Soon enough, she was making predictions on what would happen and even when they would occur, which were never wrong. The voice of nature that surrounded her everytime we went out sent various animals in our path, many at times birds would even knock on the room windows of the house or appear at the doorstep. The joke we shared was, “Evelyn, you carry the whole wildlife along with you”. One of the freshest memories I have is of Evelyn letting go of something that I

knew her old self would not have. In that same month, she suddenly felt the need to shave a portion of her waist long hair to donate it to the National Cancer Center so they would be able to make a wig. When I questioned her if she was confident on this decision she just replied; “I can’t build a school in Africa now, but this is the least I can. So I don’t see why not”. Somehow, when a decision is made in favour of the Universe, everything aligns. The owner who made the wig for the center not only brought it over for us to take a look but he volunteered to send it over, expense fully covered. The entire donation was funded anonymously and that by itself spoke volumes of all the people involved. This scenario wasn’t so much as to portray what she did but it is a reminder for all of us to that as dark as this world seems, there are still beautiful strangers out there extending their hands in any way possible. The idea is to do what we can, when we can. As time progressed, she started living a minimalist lifestyle. Evelyn found makeup, exquisite meals and extravagant dining unnecessary and ridiculous. She became uneasy at the thought of expenditure that led to excess indulgence. Her take on it was that it was acceptable and not wrong if people enjoyed it once in a while but she just found that it wasn’t her cup of tea. Even through darkness, she saw the light in people. Her notion was that 2020 was another year of the “great awakening”, where just like her, many would encounter similar situations. In accordance with technological advances, Mother Earth also undergoes an upgrade, and there is no better proof that 2020 was one of those years; needless to say it is still continuing on. This process requires the collective to stand in consciousness in order to vibrate with Earth’s energy levels to reach a state of balance. The biggest key to winning any battle is love and having faith in the Universe. Evelyn’s remark was always, “If I can stand in my power, so can everyone”. Her journey of transformation was one that was so accelerated, painful and yet blissful that it was unimaginable to even recollect the person she once was. The simple question was, “How did it occur this fast?” and the answer was always, “Well, when you accept and give in, all you have to do is receive in faith, you become an unstoppable force to work with”. In Evelyn’s own words, she explains the awakening as, “You are born for this world to remove despair, poverty, the “norm” of what life should be. When you actually start to see, hear and feel, not just physical form, but energy and vibration, you will realise that you are much more than a vessel. The ‘boomerang effect’ is what you put out to the Universe will be returned to you, simply because you did not choose self

instead you chose entirety. Trust and love is the key, it unlocks every door. The idea is never to be a successful individual for yourself, the notion is to stand as a successful individual as yourself for this world. Live your life in this world as the best version of yourself, live your life in this world knowing that even when you die, if you have nothing, you have left so much love behind. Be a source of light, love and guidance in the lives of others and you will realise that it never is one sided. Maintain gracefulness and humbleness regardless where you stand or who you become. Most importantly, that humour makes the Earth shake at its core. No one can live without it.”

CHAPTER 6

Do You Believe in Magic?

“Every answer you seek, has always been staring back at you”

WE SPEND OUR CHILDHOOD ENGULFED in fairytales, shows and even books depicting the presence of magic. Many of us may have even witnessed or experienced miracles around us, never quite understanding the concept but just taking heed. Despite technological advancements and astronomical understandings, not everything has been decoded. The question isn’t exactly when but more like why? The answer is simple, some things are not to be explained but more so to be witnessed by the seeker. If everyone were to have the answer to every situation before it occurred, the political, environmental and social outcomes would be catastrophic. Hence, the knowledge is bestowed unto those individuals who have a greater intention for humanity which in other words, “The Philosopher’s Stone becomes the gift from the Universe for the Keepers of the Light”. I must it, I lost my belief in magic and miracles over the years, becoming more devoured by the matrix, getting deeper into cultural and economical “norms”. Evelyn’s experience slowly started to remove the blindfold of my eyes, opening the world of possibilities. In 2021, Evelyn and I decided to move in together as housemates as we felt there was much we could furnish together in the desire to fulfill purpose. At that point of time, Evelyn was extremely keen into understanding esotericism and the stories that were behind it. Her famous sentence was always, “I truly know there is more to this than just pulling a rabbit out of a hat but for the sake of me understanding this I am pretty sure without me knowing something is going to vanish.” True enough, as she was reading a book, the bookmark beside her completely vanished and we turned the house upside down to search for it and returned empty handed. We were both laughing hysterically ing her statement until she said that it would eventually turn up if it had to. Within minutes of that statement, it actually did, in a place we had sought earlier but turned up empty. That was the mark indicating that there was much more to it and she realised at that point it wasn’t an art to study, it was more an art to master by working with energy field levels of the Universe. If I were to go on about the many magical moments I witnessed in her life, this book would be more about David Copperfield than an awakening. It is more of a

notion to serve as a reminder that we are all powerful, superhuman creatures of this Universe. The key to every insight is held by the power of the mind. The vibrational frequencies emit responses through our nervous system before dissipating out into the Universe. The outcome is either a match or a repel, the circumstance, one desired or one unintended. Evelyn always said that the story of the Tree of Life was a realisation that man by themselves are the Tree of Life, we are all the answers that we seek, the validations we thirst for. A tree that is deeply rooted only grows taller and stronger to extend its branches out and give life to the leaves that hang onto it for . Unless you stand in your power, how can you seek to another? The most essential life teaching is that nothing was ever meant to be complex, every sight, sound and touch is a depiction of the simplicity of life. The problem with humans is the complexity of the brain invokes an idea that everything requires problem solving, when in reality the only answer has always been, CONSCIOUSNESS. Evelyn identified her purpose and is currently on the start of her journey. She mentions that it will be a beautiful road that progresses with universal guidance. Her advice to those who feel alone and wronged is as follows: “To awaken consciousness, is to awaken graciousness. Escape the matrix and reclaim your identity, one that was, is and will always be yours. Pain is a reminder of the chance to face the problems and relinquish them. You are the decider of your destiny, the destiny to awaken the soul within the vessel. Be the best version of yourself, be the I AM, be one with humanity, for humanity. Live in consciousness and love. Peace and joy will be yours.” The end of this book marks the beginning of her journey. Are you ready to embark on yours today?

CHAPTER 7

Spirituality and The Greater Purpose

“With dissociation comes reassociation”

AFTER FLIPPING THROUGH THE PAST six chapters of what may seem like the shortest book you may have come across, not only could you possibly question why you read about the awakening process of a particular person and what significance it held? Truth be told, this book was to create a greater understanding of the context of spirituality with the example of someone whom I personally knew with no prior understanding and experiencing the most remarkable gift of life. Evelyn’s story wasn’t written to speak about “her story”, it was published to let everyone know that we all have that story, be it different from the other. Each of us face fears, worries, heartbreaks, suffering and pain in various different ways in which some of us build the strength to carry on while others’ constantly find ourselves falling back into a pit of despair. This book was written to assist you to step out of darkness and into the light. So how does one escape from the inner demons that harbour their minds? We all need to take a good look into the mirror and ask ourselves, “What have I been running from?; What are my greatest fears?; How can I love myself more?; How do I create a better version of myself?” The steps to achieving anything for that matter always stems from us. No answer is ever out there, after all you know best where you lack and what your strengths are. Many times we get frustrated, heartbroken and upset when people lie to us, be it in a relationship, at work, among friends and yet we fail to realise we tell the greatest lies to ourselves for the sake of escaping fearful outcomes. The beauty about TRUTH is that it helps you address a situation, ripping the band aid off rather than sweeping the dust under the rug, as the latter will definitely resurface. Wouldn’t you rather solve a situation in the moment or would you rather carry those sandbags through life? So why am I reiterating so much on changing yourself first? The TRUTH is that the soul needs to dissociate from “YOU” and that can only happen when the ego goes through death. The reassociation with Spirit and Divine happens once “I AM” becomes nothing more than the vibrational fields and beings of this Earth. Every plant, animal,

thing, human that you see becomes you. “In order to find yourself, The Soul, you first have to lose the sense of self”. According to Evelyn, there is no one true way to do it. She says, “To each their own, there is no true one right way nor is there a wrong, because the destination is always the same”. She does offer some suggestions which will assist you on this journey but is not limited to:

1. List down all things that you find have stemmed through childhood, adolescence or any point in life that may be affecting your decisions, relationships or outlook of life. When you do this, sit in a quiet place, alone and spend some time with yourself to really look at how, why and what could be possible? 2. Once identified, number them in order of the easiest to address to what may seem the toughest. The idea then becomes to find ways that you could put these emotions, traumas or pain to rest. There is no deadline for how long you take to rectify them but you should never prolong and be persistent daily. The key here is to avoid moving on to the next issue unless the previous has been resolved. 3. So how can we resolve the issues? In her example, as Evelyn mainly went through childhood traumas, her focus was on talking to her mum to face and tackle these issues head on after which she would spend her time in meditation asking guidance from the Universe. Once again, the main point here is the faith and trust she had to listen quietly in the moment of meditative silence. Unfailing faith always shows you what you need to see rather than what you want or expect. 4. When it comes to relationships or traumatic incidents, the take would be to address firstly, that you are beautiful, amazing and the only one who can love yourself like no other. If the issue stems deeper, rather than just scratching the surface, have the necessary conversations to question why and then realise the situations and heal from them. Always compare where you are now, what you have been through and how you could have escaped situations that could have been far worse. Only then will you realise that everything has a purpose. 5. Eventually once the darkness has been swept by light, you will find yourself standing in the true essence of self love. In all these points, the most essential is

the understanding that meditation does not only encom an individual closing their eyes and sitting in complete silence. Listening to music, dancing, martial arts, watching the sunrise or sunset or even just staring out into space is a form by itself. It requires the individual to lose their sense of self in the beauty of energy, frequency and vibration while still being mindful of their existence here on Earth. So achieving this state is one all can attain regardless of the method implicated.

Acknowledgment

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK the most important individuals in my life, my family who raised me to be the “I AM”, without their constant and love my journey would have been a much difficult one. I also owe it to JT and TG for having been a true source of guidance, and making this book come into life. Last but not least to mention acknowledgement to all the characters in this book whose names have been replaced to maintain privacy. Without any of the above mentioned people, my journey would not have been possible.

Copyright © FMNA

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by mechanical or electronic means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer or researcher who may quote brief ages in a review or scholarly publication with author credits. Every effort to comply with copyright requirements has been made by seeking permission and acknowledging owners of source material used in the text.

Disclaimer: i) This book is a collection of memories. The personal stories and memories by individuals recorded here are their version of events and have been both provided and reproduced in good faith with no disrespect or defamation intended. Every effort has been made to ensure the researched information is correct. No liability for incorrect information or factual errors will be accepted by the author. ii) The views and opinions expressed in this work are solely those of the author. Some names may have been changed to protect privacy; however, they reflect real people and events.

Cover design: Aaron S. Interior Layout: Pickawoowoo Publishing Group

National Library Board, Singapore Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

Name(s): F. Nathan Title: I am You … You are Me / written by F. Nathan Description: First Singapore Edition

ISBN: 978-981-18-1798-4 (paperback) ISBN: 978-981-18-1799-1 (ebook)