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Making Sense

KARYAWAN

NIKAH GANTUNG: A ‘Halal’ Alternative to ‘Unlawful’ Dating?

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Hasanul Arifin

NIKAH GANTUNG has been a known practice by of the Malay/ Muslim community for quite some time. In fact, it was one the topics raised during a discussion session on gender interactions organised by Young AMP under its Muslim Youth Intelligentsia Series for Malay/Muslim undergraduates in February this year. In my personal experience, many of my friends have commented that they feel nikah gantung may be a solution to romance and relationship woes among youths. Despite this, there has been very few academic studies or publications that have been conducted or written on the particular subject matter, although it has been briefly mentioned in the book “Malay Kinship and Marriage in Singapore” by Judith Djamour.

What is Nikah Gantung? According to the anthropological study by Djamour, nikah gantung is a suspended marriage contract that is practised by the Javanese and Boyanese communities. This practice, although not widespread or prevalent enough to be considered a social phenomenon, cannot be considered to be uncommon either, especially within these two communities. The suspension or gantung mentioned here is the suspension of the rights to consummate the marriage. In other words, the couple that is going through such a marriage contract is still ed and legally bounded to one another by a state-appointed kadi in a solemnisation or akad nikah ceremony. The only difference is that the right

to consummate the marriage is temporarily suspended for a stipulated amount of time. This altered clause is based on the reason that it is a marriage with a girl who has yet to attain puberty, hence is deemed unfit for consummation, until she has attained puberty. As such, the girl continues to live in her parents’ household, separate from her husband, until she has attained puberty. This is based on the of Aisyah’s marriage to the Prophet. According to Djamour, when this is achieved, the suspension or gantung is then lifted, and the girl is then handed over to her husband for consummation and starts the life of a wife in her husband’s household from that point onwards.

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“ This point of view can be seen as the ‘Islamic solution’ for students in love who are concerned with the halal and haram aspects of gender interactions and are already set in committing their lives to one another. Increasingly, we notice this growing practice amongst students who are in love and want to preserve the “islamicity” of their relationships with the opposite sex. ” This definition of nikah gantung, however, differs from the personal studies conducted for the purpose of this article. Nikah gantung still remains, although it is practised in a different way, possibly because it has evolved over time to adapt and suit the changing needs of the community as well as to suit the changes in marital laws in Singapore where child marriages are no longer legal.

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The Differing Concepts of Nikah Gantung Mr Zawawi Buang, a 47-year-old Javanese Workshop Instructor who went through nikah gantung at the age of 21 is still happily married with 4 children. He shares that the temporary suspension does not only involve the temporary suspension of the rights to consummation but also the temporary suspension of a proper marriage ceremony for a stipulated period of time. This means that his concept of nikah gantung also

involves postponing of the wedding or bersanding ceremony to a later date, usually for up to 2 years from the akad nikah ceremony. The reason for doing so is mainly to save up enough money to pay for the marriage ceremony as well as the financial liabilities that would be incurred in living together, which may include the purchase of a HDB apartment. As such, after the akad nikah ceremony, the married couple will live in separate households, restricting their engagements with one another to that of a social, nonsexual relationship. The husband is still required to contribute part of his income to the livelihood of the wife in accordance with the Syariah, although they may be living separately from one another. This act of living separately comes to an end once the bersanding ceremony is conducted. As such, the relationship after that evolves to that of a typical husband and wife’s, where the husband is then allowed to consummate the marriage.

This concept of nikah gantung differs from the one held by Madam Mariam Alias, a 46–year-old private tutor of mixed Indian-Malay descent who went through nikah gantung at the age of 19 and remains happily married with 7 children. Madam Mariam’s concept of nikah gantung extends beyond working adults saving up for the bersanding ceremony and the financial liabilities that would be incurred for a married couple living together. In fact, Madam Mariam views nikah gantung as the ideal alternative to the dating culture prevalent among youths today which may be a slippery path towards premarital sex, modelling her ideas based on the marriage trends of youths in Saudi Arabia. As such, her concept of nikah gantung revolves around the idea of parents taking up the responsibility to the married couple financially temporarily until the husband is financially ready and the couple is independent enough to live on their own.

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Nikah gantung is a tricky subject that has not been studied in great detail and its definitions vary from one individual to 33

another.

This point of view can be seen as the ‘Islamic solution’ for students in love who are concerned with the halal and haram aspects of gender interactions and are already set in committing their lives to one another. Increasingly, we notice this growing practice amongst students who are in love and want to preserve the “islamicity” of their relationships with the opposite sex. The Potential Problems of Nikah Gantung On the other hand, it may be argued that this proposed solution may open doors to even more problems, which may include the loss in the sacredness of the marriage contract, as immature youths may abuse the circumstances they are offered and treat the marriage

contract lightly, resulting in the possible increase in divorce rates. According to Ustaz Abdul Rahman Shariff, a deputy kadi who has handled several cases of nikah gantung, it is often performed among youths whom he feels have not yet achieved the maturity required to carry out the roles of husbands and wives. It is also sometimes practised among youths to cover up unwanted pregnancies. Besides the potential problems of immaturity and divorce, there are moral and ethical considerations in the practice of nikah gantung. Ustaz Abdul Rahman says such a concept is foreign to the spirit of Muslim marriages, whereupon the g of the marriage

contract, the husband is obliged to fulfil his obligations towards his wife, especially financially. He disagrees with the notion that parents should bear the financial burden of their children’s marriage as this is contrary to the fundamental clauses of a marriage contract, forcing the parents to perform roles that are not supposed to be theirs. This view is shared by Mr Zawawi, who argues that the suspension of the financial responsibilities of a husband would reduce the marriage institution to that of a ‘legalised’ boyfriendgirlfriend relationship. This shaky affair would be made more complicated should the couple disrespect the mutual agreement of restricting their relationship to that which is non-sexual in nature. This circumstance may lead to

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unwanted pregnancies, which would further add to the financial burden that is borne by the parents. In addition, the young husband may not be matured or responsible enough to anticipate his new role as a father to his children. Madam Mariam defends her idea of nikah gantung, asserting that the prevention of sin is greater in value than that of divorce. In fact, divorce is never considered a sin, whereas unlawful gender interaction is. She further adds that the usage of contraceptives, common in today’s world, would help to prevent unwanted pregnancies as discussed previously.

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A ‘Halal’ Alternative? Nikah gantung is a tricky subject that has not been studied in great detail and its definitions vary from one individual to another. I am more inclined towards the arguments against nikah gantung as an alternative solution to unlawful dating practices. This is because marriage should be guided by the ethical principles of mutual love and comion, as stated in the Holy Quran, Surah A-Rum verse 30.

relationships lawful via nikah gantung may be to prevent the occurrences of sin and premarital sex. However, to carry out this approach without considering the guiding principles of love and comion towards our parents would not make our good intentions fully aligned with the spirit of Islam. I am not saying this is wrong. But the idea of formulating a practical way out seems in contrast to the spirit of jihadun-nafs (the struggle against one’s desires) and the Prophet S.A.W’s advice to perform the fast to quell the sexual urges if one cannot afford to marry. Nonetheless, nikah gantung remains a debatable subject that is open to further scrutiny and analysis.

The guiding principles of love and comion mentioned in this verse, in my opinion, are not only between the couple, but extend towards their parents as well. And how would love and comion be extended to our parents if we are to burden them financially with our marriage? Indeed, the intentions of making our love

The writer is a first year bioengineering undergraduate in the National University of Singapore (NUS). He is also a member of the NUS Muslim Society.

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