Robert Dilts - Nlp Master Practitioner Booklet 492y2m

; where the verbal surface structures (Ad) both trigger and are derived from the sensory deep structure represented by . Thus, language is an 'operator' which organizes and structures other aspects of our experience. Deep Structure Sensory Experience and Patterns

Verbal 'Surface Structures' Both Trigger and Are Derived from Sensory Experiences This relationship gives language a special role as a "meta model"—a model of our other mental models; something which other animals do not possess. It is our ability to build meta models that allows us a special degree of choice and flexibility in relationship to our experience of the world. NLP's focus with respect to language is more on the patterns, processes and form of language than its particular contents. That is, NLP identifies certain classes of words—e.g., nominalizations, sensory based predicates, ambiguity, embedded commands, etc.—which reflect areas of deletion, distortion and generalization in our experience and maps of the world. These types of formal patterns reflect higher level processes, such as beliefs, presuppositions and assumptions, which have a greater influence on our perception of the world than any specific contents. NLP also stresses non-verbal aspects of language as a key element in forming and communicating our models of the world. Somatic Syntax, for example, explores how nonverbal patterns, such as movements and gestures, both shape and reflect our inner experiences and representations.

Proper Naming

The names we give things determine their meaning to us. In the same way that a parent helps a child learn to understand and effectively interact in the world by teaching the child the proper names of objects, events and emotions, effective leadership involves giving voice to the type of language that s team ' core values, personal qualities and capabilities. Studies made on the relationship between language and health (Rodin, 1986), for instance, indicate a connection between physical health, sense of control and "symptom labeling." That is, a patient's sense of control effected the way he or she experienced and labeled bodily sensations as symptoms relevant to health or illness. In other words, people who have less of a sense of control are more apt to label a physical sensation as a "symptom" of illness. Likewise the label given a particular physical sensation will effect the degree of control a person feels about it. For example, a patient with a stomach ache can either say, "My stomach hurts" (a bodily sensation) or "I am getting the flue" (a symptom of an illness). This type of labeling determines a great deal about how the person approaches dealing with his or her situation. A "proper" name can be defined as one which brings out the best in oneself, acknowledges the positive intention of any others involved in the situation and, at the same time, tells the truth of the experience. Phrases like, "I failed," "I am not good enough" and "I did my best, but did not yet achieve my goal" for instance, could all be used to describe the same situation. Each, however, will have a different impact on the internal state of the speaker. A name that brings out the best in oneself while demeaning others would not yet be a "proper name." Clearly, labeling something in a way that puts oneself down or negates one's own resources, would also not yet be a proper name. A name that highlights positive aspects of oneself or others, but which hides or denies the real problems of an experience, is also not a "proper name." In many ways, proper naming is a type of verbal reframing. Proper naming helps people to view their experiences in a way that awakens a wider perspective and puts them in touch with potential resources and solutions. Proper naming is particularly important with respect to identity statements.

One-Word Reframing Exercise A simple way to practice proper naming is to explore "one-word reframes" of other words. This is done by taking a word expressing a particular idea or concept and finding another word for that idea or concept that puts either a more positive or negative slant on the concept. As the philosopher Bertrand Russell humorously pointed out, "I am firm; you are obstinate; he is a pig-headed fool." Borrowing Russell's formula, we could generate some other examples, such as: I am righteously indignant; you are annoyed; he is making a fuss about nothing. I have reconsidered it; you have changed your mind; he has gone back on his word. I made a genuine mistake; you twisted the facts; he is a damned liar. I am comionate, you are soft, he is a "pushover." Each of these statements takes a particular concept or experience and places it in several different perspectives by "re-framing" it with different words. Consider the word "money," for example. "Success," "tool," "responsibility," "corruption," "green energy," etc., are all words or phrases that put different "frames" around the notion of "money," bringing out different potential perspectives. Try forming some of your own one-word reframes for some of the following concepts: responsible (e.g., stable, rigid) responsible (e.g., stable, rigid) playful (e.g., flexible, insincere) playful (e.g., flexible, insincere) stable (e.g., comfortable, boring) stable (e.g., comfortable, boring) frugal (e.g., wise, stingy) frugal (e.g., wise, stingy) friendly (e.g., nice, naive) friendly (e.g., nice, naive) assertive (e.g., confident, nasty) assertive (e.g., confident, nasty) respectful (e.g., considerate, compromising) respectful (e.g., considerate, compromising) global (e.g., expansive, unwieldy) global (e.g., expansive, unwieldy)

FramesLimiting and Questions for GeneratingPositive BeliefsVerbal Reframes

1. Belief that the desired goal is Hopelessn not achievable regardless of es The three most common areas of limiting beliefs center around issues of hopelessness, s: helplessness and worthlessness. These three areas of belief can exert a great deal of influence on a person's mental and physical health. your Problem Statement: I (am/am not/cannot/etc.) ______________________________________ capabilities . 2. Belief that the desired is you want? Outcome Frame: What is the goal outcome Helplessn possible but that you are not ess: Positive Intention: What is the positive intention behind the statement? capable of Opportunity Frame: How is this an opportunity for you? achieving it. something you are or have (not) done. 3. Belief that you do not Hopelessness occurs someone Outcome Frame: Worthless deserve the when desired goal does not believe a particular desired goal is even possible. It is characterized by a sense "No matter what as I doa itnegotiator. won't make a difference. / am not a good negotiator. I want that, to improve my ability I misjudged ness: because of Whatthe I want is not possible to get. It's out of my control. I'm a victim." situation. I would like to be able to judge situations more accurately. / cannot v succeed inoccurs _______ . It is verythough important forshe mebelieves to succeed _________ . Helplessness when, even he or thatinthe outcome exists and is possible to achieve, a person does not believe that he or she is capable of attaining it. It Positive Intention: produces a sense that, "It's possible for others to achieve this goal but not for me. I'm not / am not a good negotiator. I want to be honest about my competencies. / goodmisjudged enough or the capable enough to important accomplishfor it."me to be able for my situation. It is

decisions. Ioccurs cannotwhen, succeed _______ . I want put my energy wheregoal it is Worthlessness evenin though a person maytobelieve that the desired will make the most difference. possible and that he or she even has the capability to accomplish it, that individual believes that he or she doesn't deserve to get what he/she wants. It is often characterized by a Opportunity Frame: sense that,not "I am a fake. I don't belong. to befor happy / am a good negotiator. ThisI don't is andeserve opportunity me or to healthy. test theThere limits isof something basically and fundamentally wrong with me as a person and I deserve pain my competence and develop new skills. / misjudged the situation. This the is an and suffering that I am experiencing." opportunity for me to improve my decision-making capabilities. / cannot in This is an opportunity for types me tooffind out how to to use my energy most To besucceed successful, people need to shift these limiting beliefs beliefs involving wisely. hopefor the future, a sense of capability and responsibility, and a sense of self-worth and belonging. Obviously, the most pervasive beliefs are those regarding our identity. Some examples of limiting beliefs about identity are:"/ am helpless/worthless/a victim." "I don't deserve to succeed." "If I get what I want I will lose something." "I don't have permission to succeed." Limiting beliefs sometimes operate like a "thought virus" with a destructive capability similar to that of a computer virus or biological virus. A 'thought virus' is a limiting belief that can become a 'self-fulfilling prophesy' and interfere with one's efforts and ability to heal or improve. Thought viruses contain unspoken assumptions and presuppositions which make them difficult to identify and challenge. Limiting beliefs and thought viruses often arise as seemingly insurmountable "imes" to the process of change. At such an ime, a person will feel, "I've tried everything to change this and nothing works." Dealing effectively with imes involves finding the limiting belief that is at their core and holding them in place. Ultimately, we transform limiting beliefs and become 'immunized' to 'thought viruses' by expanding and enriching our models of the world, and becoming more clear about our identities and missions. Limiting beliefs, for instance, are often developed in order to fulfill a positive purpose, such as protection, establishing boundaries, feeling a sense of personal power, etc. By acknowledging these deeper intentions and updating our mental maps to

include other, more effective ways to fulfill those intentions, beliefs can often be changed with a minimum amount of effort and pain.

Many limiting beliefs arise as a result of unanswered 'how' questions. That is, if a person does not know how to change his or her behavior, it is easy for the person to build the belief, "That behavior can't be changed." If a person does not know how to accomplish a particular task, the person may develop the belief, "I am incapable of successfully completing that task." Thus, it is often also important to provide the answers for a number of "how to" questions in order to help a person transform limiting beliefs. For example, in order to address a belief such as, "It is dangerous to show my emotions," we must answer the question, "How do I show my emotions and still stay safe?"

Limiting Beliefs may be Transformed or Updated by Identifying the Positive Intentions and Presuppositions which Underlie the Belief and Providing Alternatives and NewAnswers to 'How' Questions. As a simple exercise, practice turning the following limiting beliefs into how questions: It is dangerous to try something new. (e.g., "How can one try something new and stay safe?") If I get what I want now, something bad will happen later on. I am not creative enough to be successful. I am too old to really learn anything new. I am too young to have anything important to contribute.

Summary In summary, limiting beliefs can be updated and transformed by:

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Identifying and acknowledging the underlying positive intention. Identifying any unspoken or unconscious presuppositions or assumptions at the base of the belief. • Widening the perception of the cause-effect chains or 'complex equivalences' related to the belief. • Providing 'how to' information with respect to alternatives for fulfilling the positive intention or purpose of the limiting belief. • Clarifying or updating key relationships which shape one's sense of mission and purpose, and receiving positive at an identity level.

Verbal Frames for Eliciting LimitingBelief Statements Beliefs, and the verbalization of beliefs, typically take the form of what are known as "causeeffect" and "complex equivalence" statements in the Meta Model. That is, we believe that something is the result or consequence of something else, or that something is evidence of or means something else. The following statements use these verbal forms as a way to explore and elicit clusters of limiting beliefs relating to the sense of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness. Filling in the statements with respect to some situation or area in your life where you feel stuck or at an "ime" can help you to uncover important limiting beliefs which can then be addressed by other belief change processes and techniques. If I get what I want then ___________________________________________________. What would you lose or what could go wrong if you get what you want? Getting what I want would mean ____________________________________________ . What would it mean negatively about you or others if you got what you wanted? Getting what I want will make ______________________________________________ . What problems could be caused by getting what you want? The situation will never change because_________________________________ . What constraints or blocks keep things the way they are? I can't get what I want because_____________________________________________ . What stops you from getting what you want? It is not possible for me to get what I want because ______________________________ . What makes it impossible for you to get what you want? I am not capable of getting what I want because________________________________ . What personal deficiency prevents you from getting your outcome? I'll always have this problem because _______________________________________. What prevents you from reaching your outcome that can never be changed? It is wrong to want to be different because _____________________________________ . What makes it wrong or inappropriate to want to change? I don't deserve to get what I want because _____________________________________. What have you done, or not done, that makes you unworthy of getting what you want?

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Building a Winning Belief System A winning belief system helps people to experience:

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an expectation of a positive future a sense of capability and responsibility • a sense of self-worth and belonging The expectation of a positive future is produced by having desirable outcomes that are believed to be within reach. The sense of capability and responsibility come from the confidence that we have a good plan and possess the necessary capabilities to take the behavioral steps necessary to successfully reach desired outcomes. The sense of selfworth and belonging is a result of the degree to which it is believed that we deserve and have the permission and the to mobilize the capabilities and qualities required to be successful. Winning beliefs are directly related to the five fundamental components of the cause-andeffect chain required to achieve change. These five components include: 1. The outcomes the individual, team or organization is trying to achieve. 2. The path of steps which leads to those outcomes. 3. The behaviors or actions required to take the steps necessary to successfully travel the path. 4. The plan specifying the capabilities and qualities needed to in order to effectively execute those behaviors and actions. 5. The people or team who must possess the capabilities and qualities needed to take the actions and successfully complete the path leading to the desired outcome. People form key beliefs which effect their perception with respect each of these five elements of change. These beliefs have to do with: 1. The desirability of the outcome (the strength of its link with core values). 2. The conviction that it is possible to reach the outcome via the specified path of steps. 3. The judgment of how appropriate (i.e., ethical, difficult, practical, etc.) the required behaviors and actions are (regardless of whether or not it is believed they will produce the desired result). 4. The confidence that the involved individuals, team or company is/are capable to follow the plan and perform the appropriate behaviors and actions required to successfully reach the outcome. 5. The sense of responsibility, worthiness and permission that the involved individuals, team or company perceive with respect to using their capabilities, following through with the plan and reaching the desired outcome.

Creating a winning belief system involves communicating and justifying confidence in each of these five key beliefs.

Winning Beliefs Assessment Shee

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The purpose of this worksheet is to help you identify and assess the key beliefs needed to successfully reach desired outcomes. Start by thinking of a goal you would like to achieve and write it below: Goal: ____________________________________________________________ In the spaces provided below, rate your degree of belief in your goal in relation to each of the statements on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest degree of belief. Check your head, heart and gut.

a. "My goal is desirable and important. I want to reach 3 4 2 1 it." Head: Heart:

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b. "It is possible for me to reach my goal."

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c. "What I have to do in order to reach my goal is appropriate and 3 4 5 ecological." Head: 2 1

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d. "I have the capabilities I need to reach my goal." Head:

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e. "I have the responsibility and deserve to reach my goal."

Using Inner Mentors to Build Head: 1 2 3 4 5 Confidence and Strengthen Heart: 1clients to build 2 confidence 3 4 strengthen 5 The following steps can be used to helpBelief and belief through the use of inner mentors.

1 to your2goal, or3to believe 4 in order 5 to be more 1. What else would you need Gut: to know, add congruent or confident? 2. Who would be your mentor for that knowledge or belief? Imagine where that mentor would be located physically around you in order to best you. 3. Put yourself into the shoes of your mentor and look at yourself through your mentor's eyes (second position). What message or advice would that mentor have for you? 4. Return to your own perspective (first position) and receive the message. How does it affect your degree of confidence and congruence?

Sleight of Mouth Patterns The NLP Sleight of Mouth patterns were formulated by Robert Dilts in 1980 as a result of

modeling the verbal patterns of people such as Plato's Socrates, Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, Mohandas Gandhi, Clarence Darrow, Shakespeare's Mark Anthony, Milton Erickson, and Richard Bandler, among others. Dilts attempted to encode some of the key linguistic mechanisms that these individuals used to effectively persuade others and to influence beliefs and belief systems. These patterns provide a powerful tool for conversational belief change. Generally, Sleight of Mouth patterns can be characterized as "verbal reframes" which influence beliefs, and the mental maps from which beliefs have been formed. The term "Sleight of Mouth" is drawn from the notion of "Sleight of Hand." The word sleight comes from an Old Norse word meaning "crafty," "cunning," "artful" or "dexterous." Sleight of hand is a type of magic done by close-up card magicians. This form of magic is characterized by the experience, "now you see it, now you don't." A person may place an ace of spades at the top of the deck, for example, but, when the magician picks up the card, it has "transformed" into a queen of hearts. The verbals patterns of Sleight of Mouth have a similar sort of "magical" quality because they can often create dramatic shifts in perception and the assumptions upon which perceptions are based. Beliefs, bothparticular empowering and limiting, are often built in relation to and reinforcement from significant others. Our sense of identity and mission, for instance, is usually defined in relation to significant others who serve as reference points for the larger To understand Sleight of Mouth patterns it is important to clarify the relationship between systems of which we perceive ourselves as a part. Because identity and mission form the beliefs and values. Values are defined by Webster's Dictionary as "principles, qualities or larger framework which surrounds our beliefs and values, establishing or ing entities that are intrinsically valuable or desirable." From the NLP perspective, values are a significant relationships can exert a strong influence on beliefs. Thus, clarifying key classic example of "deep structures," which are very important subjective experiences, but relationships, and messages received in the context of those relationships, often are also distant from specific surface expressions in the form of concrete behaviors and spontaneously facilitates changes in beliefs. sensory experiences. Mentors are generally significant others who have helped us to discover our own Values are expressed by words as "success," "safety," "love," "integrity," unconscious competencies, andsuch strengthen beliefs and values—often through etc. theirThese own types of words, known as "nominalizations" in NLP, are notorious "slippery." As labels, they example. Mentors are typically individuals who have helped to shape or influence our lives tend to be much removed with, from releasing, any specific words likeus. in a positive way farther by "resonating" or sensory unveilingexperience somethingthan deeply within "chair," "run," "sit," "house," etc. This makes them much more susceptible to the processes Identifying such mentors with respect to the beliefs in the Belief Assessment process can of generalization, deletion and distortion. It is not uncommon for two individuals to claim to help to spontaneously strengthen our confidence and congruence share the same values and yet act quite differently in similar situations, because their .subjective definitions of the values vary so widely. To gain practical meaning, values must be connected to experiences through beliefs. Beliefs connect values to the environment, behaviors, thoughts and representations, or to other beliefs and values. Beliefs define the relationship between values and their causes, indicators and consequences. A typical belief statement links a particular value to some other part of our experience. The belief statement, "Success requires hard work," for instance, links the value "success" to a class of activity ("hard work"). The statement, "Success is mainly a matter of luck," connects the same value to a different class of activity. Depending upon which of these beliefs a person had, he or she would most likely adopt a different approach to attempting to reach success. Beliefs are typically expressed in the form of the Meta Model patterns known as "complex equivalence" and "cause-effect." Complex equivalences are linguistic statements which imply "equivalences" between different aspects of our experience ("A=B," or "A means B"). This type of language pattern is typically used to make definitions of values and establish evidences for whether or not values have been met or violated. To say that "A resting heart rate of 60 beats per minute is healthy," or "Having a lot of money means you are successful," are examples of complex equivalences reflecting beliefs. Cause-effect statements (characterized by words such as "cause," "make," "force," "leads to," "results in," etc.) link values causally to other aspects of our experience. Such linguistic

structures are used to define the causes and consequences of particular values. Benjamin Franklin's classic adage, "Early to bed and early to rise

makes

a man healthy, wealthy and wise," is an assertion of causal factors leading to the achievement of certain values. The saying that "power corrupts" or "love heals" are statements relating to the consequences of values related to experiences.

Beliefs Are Typically Expressed in the Form of Either a Complex Equivalence or Cause-Effect Thus, from the perspective of the Meta Model, belief statements involve nominalizations and lost performatives which are linked to other nominalizations, lost performatives, or unspecified nouns and verbs, through complex equivalences and assertions of cause-effect. In the model of Sleight of Mouth, a complete "belief statement" must contain either a complex equivalence or cause-effect assertion. A verbalization such as, "People don't care about me," for instance, is not yet a full "belief statement." It is a generalization related to the value of "caring"; but does not yet reveal the beliefs associated with the generalization. To get the beliefs related to this generalization, one would need to ask, "How do you know that people don't care about you?" "What makes people not care about you?" "What are the consequences of people not caring about you?" and "What does it mean that people don't care about you?"

Beliefs Connect Values to Various Aspects of Our Experience Such beliefs are often elicited through "connective" words, such as "because," "whenever," "if," "after," "therefore," etc.—i.e., "People don't care about me because. . .." "People don't care about me if.. . ." "People don't care about me therefore. . .." Sleight of Mouth patterns can be viewed as verbal operations that shift or reframe the various elements and linkages which make up the complex equivalences and cause-effects that form beliefs and belief statements. They are essentially a description of the ways in which one can make content or context reframes for particular belief statements. The purpose of Sleight of Mouth is not to attack or humiliate someone for having a limiting belief; rather, it is to help the person widen and enrich his or her map of the world in order to become "open to doubt" the limiting belief and "open to believe" something more empowering.

The Meta Structure of Beliefs

There are a number of dimensions of our experience that are influenced by our beliefs, and which are also involved in forming and sustaining our beliefs. Our sensory experience is what provides the raw materials from which we construct our maps of the world. Beliefs are generalizations drawn from the data of our experience, and are typically updated and corrected by experience. As a model of our experience, beliefs necessarily delete and distort aspects of the experiences that they have been developed to represent. This gives beliefs the potential to limit us as easily as empower us. Values are what give our beliefs and experience meaning. They are the higher level 'positive intentions' which the belief has been established to or reflect. Beliefs connect values to our experiences through statements of 'cause-effect' and 'complex equivalence'. Expectations provide the motivation for maintaining a particular generalization or belief. Expectations relate to the consequences that we anticipate will come from holding a particular belief. The particular consequences a belief or generalization produces determines the usefulness of belief. Our internal states act as both filters upon our experience and the impetus for our actions. Our internal states are often the container or foundation ing a particular belief or generalization, and determine the emotional energy invested in sustaining the belief. It is the interconnections between these various components of our life experience that forms what Richard Bandler refers to as the "fabric of reality." The function of our beliefs is to provide key links between these basic elements that make up our map of the world.

Our Beliefs are Generalizations Which Link Together Experiences, Values, Internal States and Expectations, and Form the Fabric of Our Reality Consider, for example, a child learning to ride a bicycle. An empowering belief such as, "I can learn," might link together key values associated with learning—such as 'fun' and 'self Limiting Beliefs Create a 'Problem Frame improvement'—with an internal state of 'confidence', and the expectation that, "I will get better and better." These provide the motivation and impetus for the child to keep trying, When limiting beliefs and stay intentions and even though he or she might fallgeneralizations quite frequently. As connected the child is with ablethe to experience longer experiences from which they have been established, the deletions andgeneralization, distortions eventually periods in which he or she maintains balance before falling, it reinforces the updated corrected as a result ofthe new experiences, changed in internal "I can become learn," as well asor the state of confidence, expectation of improvement and thestate, and expectations. New data or 'counter examples' that do not fit with the generalization valuesrevised of fun and self improvement. will lead the person to reconsider the validity of his or her limiting belief. Healthy beliefs maintain their connection with all of these various dimensions. Our beliefs If a child who has generalization, can't a bike," changes is encouraged and expectations, ed to naturally shiftbuilt andthe update themselves"I as weride go through in values, continue to trystates, riding and (andas is we ablehave to perceive his or her "failure" as "") he or she will internal new experiences. eventually learn to maintain balance, and begin to have some success. This will typically lead the child Limiting beliefs canmaybe arise as a result a shift any onecontinued of these components a negative to begin to think, "Well, I can learn of this after in all." With success, thetochild will reverse or 'problem frame'. Once established, limiting beliefs can exert an influence on to his orformulation her earlier belief, naturally reframing it on his or her J own. The child becomes more 'open anythat or all instance, let's say that a child who is learning to believe' he of orthese she isvarious capablecomponents. of learning toFor ride ride a bicycle has an older brother or sister who is already able to ride a bike competently. and 'open to doubt' his orfor herthe perceived While the thisbicycle, may provide a strong motivation youngerlimitations. child to learn to ride, he or she may also develop inappropriate expectations. The child may expect to ride as well as his or Thesibling, basic questions one his canor ask, to either negatively challenge or a belief are: her older and compare herthen, performance to strengthen that of the older child. Because the younger child's performance does not match his or her expectations, the child 1. What internal state s (or inhibits) the belief? my shift into a problem frame or failure frame, leading to an internal state of frustration. In addition to2.producing uncomfortable feelings, the negative (or internal stateyour maycommitment affect the to the What values (priorities, intentions) strengthen weaken) child's performance, causing him or her to fall more frequently. The child may also begin to belief? build the expectation, "I will fall again," feeding a self-fulfilling prophesy. Eventually, in order to avoid continued discomfort and child may(or establish belief,the "I will never 3. What expectations willfrustration, either drivethe or motivate deflate the or derail) belief? be able to ride a bicycle," and quit trying to ride any longer. 4. What experiences will reinforce (erode) the belief?

Definitions and Examples of Sleight ofMouth Patterns There are fourteen distinct Sleight of Mouth patterns which each help to shift attention, or widen a person's map in different directions. Consider the belief; "I have had this belief for such a long time that it will be difficult to change."This is actually a common belief that many people struggle with when attempting to make changes in their lives. While it reflects a valid perspective, it can be quite a limiting belief if taken at face value and interpreted narrowly or rigidly. (It is also particularly tricky, because it is a belief about other beliefs and the process of changing beliefs. This'self-referential'quality increases the likelihood that it could become 'circular' and a possible 'thought virus'.) Applying the various Sleight of Mouth patterns can help to add new perspective and 'widen the map' associated with this belief.

Structure of a Limiting Belief Statement About Change The following are definitions and examples of how the fourteen different Sleight of Mouth patterns can be applied to this particular belief statement. Again, that the purpose of Sleight of Mouth is not to attack the person or the belief, but rather to reframe the belief and widen the person's map of the world in such a way that the positive intention behind the belief can be maintained through other choices. 1. Intention: Directing attention to the purpose or intention behind the belief. e.g., "I very much ire and your desire to be honest with yourself." Positive intention = "honesty" "It is so important to be realistic about changing one's beliefs. Let's look realistically at this belief and what will be required to change it." . Positive intention = "being realistic"

2.

Redefine:

Substituting a new word for one of the words used in the belief statement that means something similar but has different implications.

e.g., "Yes, something that you've held onto so tenaciously can be challenging to let go of." "had a long time" => "held onto tenaciously" "difficult to change" => "challenging to let go of "I agree that it can initially feel strange to go beyond familiar boundaries." "belief => "familiar boundary" "difficult to change" => "initially feel strange to go beyond"

3. Consequence: Directing attention to an effect (positive or negative) of the belief, or the generalization defined by the belief, which changes (or reinforces) the belief. e.g., "Anticipating that something will be difficult often makes it seem that much easier when you finally do it." "Genuinely acknowledging our concerns allows us to be able to put them aside so that we can focus on what we want."

4.

Chunk Down:

Breaking the elements of the belief into smaller pieces such that it changes (or reinforces) the generalization defined by the belief.

e.g., "Since having the belief only a short time would make it much easier to change, perhaps you can what it was like back at the time you had just formed the belief and imagine having changed it at that time." "long time" => "short time" "Perhaps if, instead of trying to change the whole belief at once, if you just altered it in small increments, it would feel easy and even fun." "changing a belief => "altering it in increments"

5. Chunk Up: Generalizing an element of the belief to a larger classification that changes (or reinforces) the relationship defined by the belief. e.g., "I guess it is possible for any form of knowledge to become disconnected from the processes which naturally update it." "belief => "a form of knowledge" difficult to change => "disconnected from the processes which naturally update if "All processes of change have a natural cycle that cannot be rushed. The question is, what is the length of the natural life cycle for the particular belief you have?" "difficult to change" => "natural cycle that cannot be rushed" had the belief a . long time => "length of the belief's 'life cycle'"

6.

Counter-Example:

Finding an example or "exception to the rule" that challenges or enriches the generalization defined by the belief.

e.g., "Most other mental processes (such as old memories) seem to become less intense and more susceptible to distortion and change the longer we have them, rather than become stronger. What makes beliefs so different?" "I have seen many beliefs established and changed instantaneously when people are provided with the appropriate experiences and ."

7. Analogy: Finding a relationship analogous to that defined by the belief which challenges (or reinforces) the generalization defined by the belief. . e.g., "A belief is like a law. Even very old laws can be changed quickly if enough people vote for something new." "A belief is like a computer program. The issue is not how old the program is, it is whether or not you know the programming language ." .

8.

Apply to Self:

Evaluating the belief statement itself according to the relationship or criteria defined by the belief.

e.g., "How long have you held the opinion that the difficulty in changing beliefs is primarily a matter of time?" "How difficult do you think it would be to change your belief that long held generalizations are difficult to change?"

9. Another Outcome: Switching to a different goal than that addressed or implied by the belief, in order to challenge (or reinforce) the relevancy of the belief. e.g., "It is not necessary to change the belief. It just needs to be updated." "The issue is not so much about changing beliefs. It is about making your map of the world congruent with who you are now."

10.

Hierarchy of Criteria:

Re-evaluating (or reinforcing) the belief according to a criterion that is more important than any addressed by the belief.

e.g., "The degree to which a belief fits with and s one's vision and mission is more important than how long one has had the belief." "Personal congruence and integrity are worth whatever effort it takes to achieve them."

Hierarchy of Criteria 11. Change Frame Size: Re-evaluating (or reinforcing) the implication of the belief in the context of a longer (or shorter) time frame, a larger number of people (or from an individual point of view) or a bigger or smaller perspective. e.g., "Your probably not the first or only one to change have this belief. Perhaps the more people there are who are successfully able to change it, the easier it will become for others change this type of belief in the future." "Years from now, you will probably have difficulty ing that you ever had this belief." "I am sure that your children will appreciate that you have put out the effort to change this belief, rather than ing it on to them."

Change Frame Size

12.

Meta Frame:

Evaluating the belief from the frame of an ongoing, personally oriented

context -establishing a belief about the belief. e.g., "Perhaps you have the belief that beliefs are difficult to change, because you have previously lacked the tools and understandings necessary to change them easily." "Has it occurred to you that maybe your belief that this particular belief will be difficult to change is a good justification for staying the way you are. Maybe there is something that you like, or a a part of you likes, about the way you are now."

13. Model of the World: Re-evaluating (or reinforcing) the belief from the framework of a different model of the world. e.g., "You are lucky. Many people don't even recognize that their limitations are a function of beliefs that can be changed at all. You are a lot farther ahead than they are." "Artists frequently use their inner struggles as a source of inspiration for creativity. I wonder what type of creativity your efforts to change your belief might bring out in you."

14.

Reality Strategy:

Reevaluating (or reinforcing) the belief ing for the fact that people operate from cognitive perceptions of the world to build beliefs.

e.g., "How do you know that you have had this belief for a long time'?" "What particular qualities of what you see or hear when you think about changing this belief make it seem 'difficult'?"

The Sleight of Mouth Patterns as a System of Verbal Interventions As the following diagram illustrates, the fourteen Sleight of Mouth Patterns form a system of interventions which may be applied to the cause-effect or complex equivalence statement at the foundation of a particular belief, in order to either become more 'open to doubt' or 'open to believe' that particular generalization.

/

Sleight of Mouth Questions

not complex equivalent good You incapa cause-effect One of the best ways to both learn and apply Sleight of Mouth is by asking questions related ble to the various Sleight of Mouth patterns. In a way, each of the Sleight of Mouth patterns The unwort could be considered an answer to a key questions leading to different perspectives and y hy perceptual positions. It impossi Start byble writing down a limiting belief statement that you would like to work with. Make sure that it is a "complete" belief statement in the form of either a complex equivalence or causeeffect assertion. A typical structure would be: Referent (am/is/are) judgment because reason.

Limiting Belief: ______________________ means/causes ________________________

1. Intention: What is the positive purpose or intention of this belief?

2. Redefine: What is another word for one of the words used in the belief statement that means something similar but has more positive implications?

3. Consequence: What is a positive effect of the belief or the relationship defined by the belief?

4. Chunk Down: What smaller elements or chunks are implied by the belief but have a richer or more positive relationship than the ones stated in the belief?

5. Chunk Up: What larger elements or classes are implied by the belief but have a richer or more positive relationship than the ones stated in the belief?

6. Counter Example: What is an example or experience that is an exception to the rule defined by the belief? The Whole System of Sleight of Mouth Patterns 7. Analogy: What is some other relationship which is analogous to that defined by the belief (a metaphor for the belief), but which has different implications?

8.

Apply to Self:

How can you evaluate the belief statement itself according to the relationship or criteria defined by the belief?

9. Another Outcome: What other outcome or issue could be more relevant than the one stated or implied by the belief?

10. Hierarchy of Criteria: What is a criterion that is potentially more important than those addressed by the belief that has not yet been considered?

11. Change Frame Size: What is a longer (or shorter) time frame, a larger number or smaller number of people, or a bigger or smaller perspective that would change the implications of the belief to be something more positive?

12. Meta Frame: What is a belief about this belief that could change or enrich the perception of the belief?

13. Model of the World: What is a different model of the world that would provide a very different perspective on this belief?

14. Reality Strategy: What cognitive perceptions of the world are necessary to have built this belief? How would one need to perceive the world in order for this belief to be true?

Applications of Sleight of Mouth

Sometimes a simple Sleight of Mouth statement can make a big difference in helping to shift a person's attitude and responses. Consider the example of the woman who had just received news that she had an unusual form of cancer, and that, consequently, the doctors were not certain how to treat it. Fearing the worst, the woman was anxious and distraught over the situation. She consulted an NLP practitioner, who pointed out to her that, "In unusual circumstances, unusual things can happen." This simple statement helped her to shift her perspective such that she could view uncertainty as a possible advantage, not necessarily a problem. The woman began to take more action on her own, and was given more freedom of choice by her doctors, because her situation was "unusual." The woman went on to have a remarkable recovery (also "unusual") with minimal intervention from her doctors, completely regaining her health. There are also many historical examples of how Sleight of Mouth statements, made at the right time, haveJesus' changed the courseofofApply history lives. ConsiderLife the following Application toand Selfsaved Saved a Woman's , taken from the Gospel of John (8:3-11), of a particularly powerful and moving example of how used thethe Sleight Mouth pattern 'apply to self to save a woman's Notice that Jesus did Jesus not challenge beliefofitself. Rather he of "outframed," causing the life. group to shift their perceptual position and widen their map of the situation to include their own behavior. "And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and they had set herViruses' in the midst, They said unto him, Master, this woman was Sleight ofwhen Mouth and 'Thought taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such stoned:are butsometimes what sayest thou? in situations where other belief change Sleight ofshould Mouthbe patterns effective techniques and interventions are difficult to apply or are inappropriate. Sleight of Mouth is This they said, tempting him, that they might have cause to accuse him. But Jesus often necessary in order to deal with "though viruses," for example. A thought virus is a stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them special class of limiting belief. A typical limiting belief is a generalization drawn from not. experience. Consequently, it can be updated or corrected as a result of experience. New data or 'counter that doasking not fit him, with the generalization lead theunto person to He So whenexamples' they continued he lifted up himself,will and said them, reconsider the validity of his or her belief. If a child falls down several times while attempting that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped to learn to ride his her bicycle, for example, the child may build the generalization, "I can't down, andorwrote on the ground. ride a bike." This may even lead to a type of 'self fulfilling' cycle in which the child's belief • and accompanying frustration it even more difficult theconscience, child to be went in theout one by And they which heardmake it, being convicted by theirfor own appropriate of attention learn the skill. The interference confirms the the one,state beginning at thetoeldest, even unto theincreased last: and Jesus was left alone, and child's limiting belief, and he or she may give up trying if not encouraged by others. woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accs? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." Jesus' statement, "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her," is a classic example of applying the values asserted by a belief statement back onto the belief itself. To do so, Jesus first 'chunked up' "adultery" to "sin," and then invited the crowd to apply the same criterion to their own behavior.

A Normal Belief Is Drawn from (and thus Naturally Corrected by) Experience and s Positive Intentions and Values If the child is encouraged and ed to continue to try riding, however, he or she will

eventually learn to maintain balance and begin to have some success. This will typically lead the child to begin to think, "Well, maybe I can learn this after all." With continued success, the child will reverse his or her earlier belief, naturally reframing it on his or her own.

Thought viruses, on the other hand, are based on other limiting beliefs rather than on direct experiences. They are usually generalizations, drawn from other beliefs or assumptions; frequently beliefs that are not even our own, but that have been installed by others. Thus, thought viruses are not naturally corrected or updated by experience. Rather, the beliefs upon which they are based (and which hold them in place) must be identified and transformed. While techniques such as the Belief Change Cycle can be used with many typical limiting beliefs, Sleight of Mouth is often most effective for 'thought viruses'. This is probably no more evident than in situations involving political, philosophical and theological debate. Many of the individuals who served as models for the Sleight of Mouth patterns had missions in the area of social change, and used Sleight of Mouth in order to transform limiting cultural beliefs through oratory and debate. Within the framework of Sleight of Mouth, the goal of all speeches, oratory, debate, etc., is to create, reinforce, challenge, outframe, or recode a particular belief or belief system. To effectively install a new belief system, it is also sometimes necessary to first create a "double bind" or dilemma with respect to the existing belief system. One cannot simply assert alternative beliefs and expect them to be considered or accepted based on their own merit. Belief change often requires destabilizing current beliefs by introducing doubt. This sometimes includes addressing or reframing a number of alternatives which may challenge the new belief one desires to install (see the entry on Polya Patterns).

The following excerpt from a speech by Abraham Lincoln challenging pro-slavery theology (October 1, 1858) is another classic example of how Sleight of Mouth patterns are used to outframe existing limiting beliefs and create a wider map of the world.

"Suppose it is true, that the Negro is inferior to the white, in the gifts of nature; is it not the exact reverse justice that the white should, for that reason, take from the Negro, any part of the little which has been given him? "Give to him that is needy" is the Christian rule of charity; but "Take from him that is needy" is the rule of slavery. The sum of pro-slavery theology seems to be this: "Slavery is not universally right, nor yet universally wrong; it is better for some people to be slaves; and, in such cases, it is the Will of God that they be such." Certainly there is no contending against the Will of God; but still there is some difficulty in ascertaining, and applying it, to particular cases. For instance we will suppose the Rev. Dr. Ross has a slave " named Sambo, and the question is "Is it the Will of God that Sambo shall remain a slave, or be set free?" The Almighty gives no audible answer to the question, and his revelation—the Bible—gives none—or, at most, none but such as its of a squabble, as to its meaning. No one thinks of asking Sambo's opinion on it. So, at last, it comes to this, that Dr. Ross is to decide the question. And while he considers , it, he sits in the shade, with gloves on his hand, and subsists on the bread that Sambo is earning in the burning sun. If he decides that God wills Sambo to continue a slave, he thereby retains his own comfortable position; but if he decides that God wills Sambo to be free, he thereby has to walk out of the shade, throw off his gloves, and delve for his own bread. Will Dr. Ross be actuated by that perfect impartiality, which has ever been considered most favorable to correct decisions? But, slavery is good for some people!!! As a good thing, slavery is strikingly peculiar, in this, that it is the only good thing which no man ever seeks the good of, for himself. Nonsense! Wolves devouring lambs, not because it is good for their own greedy maws, but because it is good for the lambs!!!" As with all effective change processes, Lincoln's primary approach is one of Pacing and Leading. Lincoln systematically begins by first acknowledging or "pacing" the existing belief or belief statement. He then applies several different Sleight of Mouth strategies within his speech, however, to begin to "lead" his listeners into doubt about the validity of the belief. Lincoln's first intervention "paces" the belief that "the Negro is inferior to the white," but then redefines the notion of "inferiority" as "having less" or being "needy." He also redefines "slavery" as "taking something away from" somebody. The consequence "take from the needy" suddenly stands out as being clearly opposed to the "Christian rule of charity."

In his next intervention, Lincoln takes a slightly different angle. He first "paces" again by summarizing "pro-slavery theology" as the belief that, "Slavery is not universally right, nor yet universally wrong; it is better for some people to be slaves; and, in such cases, it is the Will of God that they be such." Again, Lincoln does not challenge the belief directly, claiming that "there is no contending against the Will of God." Instead, he uses the Sleight of Mouth pattern of

chunking down;

attempting to apply the belief to the "particular case" of "Dr. Ross and Sambo." The question is, "Is it the Will of God that Sambo shall remain a slave, or be set free?" Lincoln quickly establishes the

meta frame

that "Dr. Ross is to decide the question," pointing out that "while he considers it, he sits in the shade, with gloves on his hand, and subsists on the bread that Sambo is earning in the burning sun." (This level of detail is clearly indicative of much more "sensory based" chunking than the abstract language originally used to state the belief).

Lincoln points out the consequences that if Dr. Ross decides that "God" wills Sambo to continue to be a slave, "he thereby retains his own comfortable position" and does not have to "walk out of the shade, throw off his gloves, and delve for his own bread." This leads to the meta frame that it will not be possible for Dr. Ross to make an impartial decision related to "God's will" for Sambo; again introducing doubt about the validity of the belief.

Lincoln then shifts to using

counter example

and

analogy

to outframe the notion that "slavery is 'better' for some people." He first redefines "better" to "good," and then points out that "as a good thing, slavery is strikingly peculiar" in that "it is the only good thing which no man ever seeks the good of, for himself." He draws out the power of the counter example even more by making the analogy to "wolves devouring lambs because it is good for the lambs."

Strategies for Using Sleight of MouthPatterns As the example of Lincoln's speech illustrates, Sleight of Mouth patterns can be sequenced and combined to form strategies for influencing beliefs and belief systems. In order to avoid being (or appearing) combative or confrontative, the fundamental strategy for using Sleight of Mouth is that of Pacing and Leading. The following strategies outline some of the methods that can be used to apply Sleight of Mouth patterns to 'pace and lead' limiting beliefs to more positive reformulations by taking them through a series of intermediate steps. In this way, the belief is shifted incrementally in a more gentle fashion, rather than attempting to change it all at once. 1. Belief Chaining In NLP, the term "chaining" refers to a form of anchoring in which experiences are linked together in a particular sequence, leading from a starting state to a desired state. The key element in establishing an effective "chain" is the selection of the transition states chosen to link the problem state to the desired state. These transition states function as "stepping stones" to help the individual move more easily in the direction of the goal state. It is often difficult for a person to cross the gap between their current state and some desired state. Let's say, for example, a person is stuck in a state of frustration, and wants to be motivated to learn something new. It is difficult to just switch from frustration to motivation and would most likely simply create tension or conflict to attempt to force oneself from one to the other. Chaining would involve establishing two or three intermediate steps or states between frustration and motivation. The most effective chains are those which incrementally pace and lead from the problem state to the desired state. If the problem state is negative and the desired state is positive, this would involve moving incrementally from the negative state to another state which is only somewhat negative; confusion, for example. From the somewhat negative state, a small but significant step can be made to a state that is slightly positive; let's say curiosity about what might happen next. It is then relatively simple to take a step from the somewhat positive state to the desired state of motivation. Of course, depending on the physiological and emotional distance between the present and desired states, more intermediate steps may need to be added.

Basic Belief Chaining Procedure The establishment of the sequence of states in a chain, and the linking of one state to another is most easily done through the process of anchoring. Historically, the NLP technique of "Chaining Anchors" has used kinesthetic anchoring. One way of creating a belief chain is to add linguistic distinctions, such as Sleight of Mouth patterns, to the sequence of kinesthetic anchors. As an example, to work with a limiting belief, you can lay out four spaces to form a 'chain' going from the Problem State (the limiting belief) to the Desired State (a more empowering belief) with two intermediate steps:

1 2 3

Location #1: The limiting belief (Problem State) Location #2: The positive intention of the limiting belief Location #3: A redefinition of some aspect of the limiting belief statement which makes it somewhat positive 4 Location #4: An empowering belief that is a consequence of both the positive intention and redefinition (Desired State)

1. Standing in the location for the problem state, choose a limiting belief that you would like to work with (e.g., "It is hard for me to learn language patterns, because I get confused and bored by words.") Pay attention to the internal state that is associated with the limiting belief. Then, step out of the location and change your state, "shaking off the affect associated with the limiting belief. 2. Now, walk over to the desired state location and enter into an internal state in which you feel 'aligned' and 'wise'. It isn't necessary to know the empowering belief that will Chaining States - From Frustration to Motivation accompany this belief at this time; it is only necessary to experience the positive internal state that will be associated with it. When selecting the states which are to be part of a chain, it is best if contiguous states have some degree of physiological, cognitive or emotional overlap. Frustration and confusion, for example, share some features. Likewise, confusion and curiosity overlap in relation to certain characteristics - they both involve uncertainty about an outcome, for example. Curiosity and motivation also have similarities in that they both involve wanting to go in a particular direction.

3. Return to the 'problem state' location, and physically walk through other steps of the chain to get a sense of the movement from the present state to the desired state. Again, it is only important to begin to a feeling for the changes in the internal state. You do not yet need to be conscious of any changes in the belief just yet. 4. Go back to the limiting belief space and then take a step forward to the location representing the 'positive intention'. Explore the positive purpose of your limiting belief, trying out different words until you find an expression that really shifts your feeling and internal state to something more positive, (e.g., "To feel associated and connected with what I am learning.") 5. Step forward again, into the 'redefining' space. Restate the limiting belief, but redefine the key words of the belief to better reflect what you have discovered about the positive intention. Explore how different verbal reframes can help give you different perspectives on the belief. Again, keep trying different words, until you have found some that significantly change your feeling with respect to the belief, (e.g., "It is hard for me to pay attention to language patterns, when I get confused and bored because I am listening only to the words and not paying attention to my feelings and relationships with other people.") 6. Step forward again, to the desired state location, and formulate a positive belief statement that incorporates the positive intention of the limiting belief, but that is empowering and enriching. Again make sure that the words really stimulate positive feelings when you say them, (e.g., "I can really enjoy learning language patterns, when I stay associated and connected to my feelings and relationships with other people while I am listening to the words.") 7. Walk through the chain several times, repeating the statements associated with each location, until it feels like there is an easy and smooth flow from present state desired state, both linguistically and kinesthetically.

2. Chains of Meaning A Chain of Meaning is a type of Belief Chain which can be used to link a limiting belief to more empowering possibilities through the Sleight of Mouth pattern of redefining. Chains of meaning use the structure:

In a Chain of Meaning, a negative label or evaluation (A-) is linked to a more positive conclusion (D+) by creating a chain of 'complex equivalences' (B and C), which each redefine the limiting judgment in a more positive direction. In the following example, the negative label "learning disabled" is linked to being "a thorough learner" through a simple chain of meaning. "jf being learning disabled (A-) means that one is a slow learner (B), and being a slow learner means that it takes longer to learn (C), and taking longer to learn something means one is a more thorough learner (D+), then being learning disabled means one is a more thorough learner."

Fill in the blank spaces below to practice creating a chain of meaning with respect to some limiting belief or generalization. a) A- (a negative quality, situation or experience) ___________________________ (e.g., "failure") b )

means

B (a neutral or not so negative quality or characteristic) _________________; ________________ __ (e.g., "what I tried did not work") c)

which means

C (another neutral or slightly positive quality or characteristic) ___________________________________

(e.g.,

"I have more experience about what is and is not effective") d)

which means

D+ (a positive quality, characteristic or experience) ___________ _____ e.g., "it will be easier to find a proper solution")

Therefore ____________________________(A-: "failure") means ______________________________(D+: "it will be easier to find a proper solution"). 3. Chains of Causes A Chain of Causes is another type of belief chaining method which links a particular belief to a more enriched map of the world through a series of consequences. Establishing a Chain of Causes involves connecting a particular phenomenon to other behaviors and experiences through 'cause-and-effect' statements (similar to the way 'causal modeling' is used in the Milton Model as a way to form hypnotic suggestions). Chains of Causes use the structure:

This structure is illustrated in the following example: "If visualizing oneself as a healthy person (A) makes a person more hopeful (B), and hope reduces stress (C), and reducing stress reduces the chance of illness (D-), then visualizing oneself as a healthy person reduces the chances of illness." In this case, the reduction of a problem state ("illness") is connected to the process of visualization by establishing a series of consequences stemming from visualization as the root cause. Defining a Chain of Causes can be done by answering the following questions: a) What is a negative quality, characteristic or experience (D-) that you would like to change? (e.g., "anger") _______________________ b) What process, situation or occurrence (C) causes that negative quality, characteristic or experience? (e.g., "disappointment") c) What process, situation or occurrence (B) causes C? (e.g., "expectations")

d) What process, situation or occurrence (A) causes B? (e.g., "focusing on a

particular path or outcome") _______________________ Since A causes B, B causes C, and C causes D; then adjusting A ____________________ (e.g., "the path or outcome one is focusing on") will shift D-_____________________ (e.g., "anger"). Chains of Causes can also be used to enhance a positive belief or generalization by linking a desired state or conclusion to other behaviors and activities which give a person a greater sense of participation and influence. Again, this is done by establishing a series of consequences, as is demonstrated in the following exercise. a) What is a positive quality, characteristic or experience (D+) that you would like to have more of? ______________________________________ (e.g., "patience") b) What process, situation or occurrence (C) causes that positive quality, characteristic or experience? _______________________________________(e.g., "acceptance") c) What process, situation or occurrence (B) causes C? ________________________________ (e.g., "trust that things will turn out OK") d) What process, situation or occurrence (A) causes B? _________________________________ (e.g., "shifting to a longer term perspective") Since A causes B, B causes C, and C causes D; then enhancing A ___________________ ("shifting to a longer term perspective") will enhance D+ ____________________ ("patience"). 4. Values Bridging Positive intentions often take the form of key values (i.e., safety, achievement, respect, quality, etc.). Verbal reframing can be used to help people resolve conflicts or incongruences with respect their values or beliefs. Situations often arise in which there seem to be clashes in the core values of individuals or groups. One person, for example, may desire "growth" while another values "security." The second person may believe that the steps necessary to promote growth threaten his or her sense of security and thus resist it. These types of seemingly fundamental incompatibilities can create conflict and resistance if not properly addressed. One way to deal with seeming values conflicts is to use verbal reframing to create a "chain" linking the differing values. As an example, "growth" can be easily reframed to "expanding possibilities and choices." "Security" can be reframed to "not having all your eggs in one basket." In many ways, "expanding possibilities and options" and "not putting all your eggs in one basket" are quite similar. Thus, the simple verbal reframes have closed the gap between the two seemingly incompatible values. As another example, let's say one person has a core value of "quality;" whereas another is keen on "creativity." These two values might initially seem at odds with one another ("quality" is about "keeping to standards" but "creativity" is about "changing things"). "Quality," however, could be reframed as "continual improvement." "Creativity" could be reframed as "producing better alternatives." Again, the simple reframes can help people to create a bridge and see the connection between the two seemingly disparate values.

To try this, use the following format.

1. Identify an area in which people from different social or organizational cultures seem in conflict. 2. Specify the seemingly incompatible values related to the conflict or incongruence. Write the two values in the spaces titled Value #1 and Value #2. 3. Reframe each value using a word or phrase that overlaps with the value but offers a different perspective. See if you can find two reframes that "chain" the seemingly incompatible values together in a way that makes them more harmonious or complementary.

Value #1 Reframe #1 Reframe #2 Value #2

e.g.: ■■"". ■

Professionalism Personal Integrity Self Expression Freedom Value #1 Reframe #1 Reframe #2 Value #2

5. Comparisons and Framing Another strategy for shifting perceptions related to limiting beliefs and generalizations is by making comparisons and establishing frames. A particular experience may seem either more positive or more negative depending on what you compare it with. In general, if you compare A+ to B to C-, then B is negative compared to A+, but positive compared to C-; e.g., "Compared to Gandhi (A+) I'm a sinner. Compared to Hitler (C-), I'm a saint." Frequently, people make only one side of the comparison, or no comparison at all, thus biasing their perspective.

One method of using Sleight of Mouth to 'reframe' limiting beliefs and generalizations is to create a chain of consequences that "frames" the problem experience as the consequence of some positive cause (such as a positive intention), and as leading to some positive end, as in the following example: "Fear (B-) is caused by the desire to protect oneself (A+). Fear also prevents people from rushing into something (C), which helps them to act more ecologically (D+). Therefore fear isn't such a bad thing because its positive intention is protection and it causes people to act more ecologically." This process can be summarized using the following structure:

The following questions can be used to create this type of belief 'reframe':

a) What is the problematic quality, characteristic or experience (B)?

________________ (e.g., "self doubt") b) What is the positive intention (A) behind the problematic quality, characteristic or experience? ______________________________________(e.g., "desire to improve") c) What is a neutral, or slightly positive consequence (C) resulting from the problematic quality, characteristic or experience? • _________________________________(e.g., "self doubt" makes a person more "aware of his or her own limitations") d) What is a positive consequence (D+) that results from this first consequence? ______________________________________(e.g., being more "humble and careful") Therefore self doubt (B-) comes from the desire to improve (A+). Self doubt also makes people more aware of their own limitations (C), which helps them to be more humble and careful (D+). Therefore self doubt isn't such a bad thing because its positive intention is improvement and it causes people to have more humility and be more careful."

6. Changing Logical Levels One of the most common and effective Sleight of Mouth tactics involves re-categorizing a characteristic or experience from one logical level to another (e.g., separating a person's identity from his or her capabilities or behavior). Negative identity judgments are often the result of interpreting particular behaviors, or the lack of ability to produce certain behavioral results, as statements about one's identity. Shifting a negative identity judgment back to a statement about a person's behavior or capabilities greatly reduces the impact it has on the person mentally and emotionally. As an example, a person might be depressed about having cancer, and refer to himself or herself as a "cancer victim." This could be 'retrained' with the response, "You are not a cancer victim (A = identity), you are a normal person who has not yet developed the capability to take full advantage of the mind-body connection (B = capability)." This can help the person to shift his or her relationship to the illness, open up to other possibilities, and to view himself or herself as a participant in the healing process. The same type of reframe could be done with a belief like "I am a failure." One could point out, "It is not that you are a 'failure', it is just that you have not yet mastered all of the elements necessary for success." Again, this puts the limiting identity level judgment back into a more proactive and solvable framework.

Formally, this process can be expressed in the following way:

If element {d} is a member of set {C} and {C} is a member of a larger set {B} and {B} is a member of an even larger set {A} Then {d}^{C}^{B}#{A}. In human behavior, what we {d}o is organized into sets of {C}apabilties which are organized into a system of {B}eliefs which are organized into the set of what we {A}re—our identities. Categorizing something into a different logical level changes its meaning and impact.

These types of reframes can be designed using the following steps: a) Identify the negative identity judgment (A-): lam________________________ (e.g., "I am a burden to others.'") b) Identify a specific capability or behavior that is related to either the present state or desired state implied by the identity judgment (B): Ability to _______________________ (e.g., "Ability to resolve problems on one's own"). c) Substitute the capability or behavior for the negative identity judgment: Perhaps it is not that you are a ___ ___________________ (negative identity: e.g., "burden to others"), it is just that you don't yet have the ability to ______________________ (specific capability or behavior: e.g., "resolve problems on your own").

Natural Sleight Examples of Exercise Sleight of Mouth MouthPatterns

of

The following exercise is a way to practice some simple Sleight of Mouth Strategies: Fromyourself. Julius Caesar byitWilliam Shakespeare 1. Identify a Limiting Belief about Express in the form: Brutus: Romans, countrymen, and because lovers! hear me for cause, and be silent, that you Referent (am/is/are) judgment reason. notmy good maycomplex hear: believe me for mine honour, that you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, equivalent incapable cause-effect unworthy and awake your senses, that you may the better judge. If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of Caesar's, to him I say, that Brutus' love to Caesar was no less than his. If that friend demand why Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer: Not that I loved Caesar less,e.g., but /that loved Rome more. Had you rather were am Iselfish because I don't make enoughCaesar time for my living family.and die all slaves than that Caesar were dead to live all free men? As Caesar loved me, I weep for him; as he was fortunate, it; as he behind was valiant, I honour him; but, as he was ambitious, I slew 2. Find theI rejoice PositiveatIntention the limiting belief. him. There is tears for his love; joy for his fortune; honour forshow his valour; his e.g., I want to be a good, well-balanced person and othersand thatdeath I valueforthem. ambition. Who here is so base that would be a bondsman? If any, speak; for him have I 3. Move negative Identity statements to lower logical levels e.g.. selfishly offended. Who here is so rude that would not be a Roman? If any/ act speak; for him have I because I Idon't know to balance time for myself with family commitments, offended. pause for ahow reply. All: None, Brutus, none. e.g., I feel selfish when I am unable to spend the amount of time that I would like to with my family. Brutus: Then none have I offended. I have done no more to Caesar than you shall do to Brutus. The question of his death is enrolled in the Capital; his glory not extenuated, 4. Reformulate negative statements to neutral or positive statements. wherein he was worthy, nor his offenses enforced, for which he suffered death. e.g., I focus on personal goals because I have many projects that I am ionate about. Enter Antony and others with Caesar's body. Here comes his body, mourned by Mark Antony: who, though he had no hand in his death, shall receive the benefit of his dying, a place in the commonwealth; as which of you shall not? With this I depart, that, as I slew my best lover for the good of Rome, I have the same dagger for myself, when it shall please my country to need my death. Antony: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I have come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus Hath told you Caesar was ambitious: If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it. Here, under the leave of Brutus and the rest - For Brutus is an honourable man; So are they all, all honourable men Come I to speak at Caesar's funeral. He was my friend, faithful and just to me: But Brutus says he was ambitious; and Brutus is an honourable man. He hath brought many captives home to Rome, whose ransoms did the general coffers fill: Did this in Caesar seem ambitious? When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept: Ambition should be made of sterner stuff: Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; and Brutus is an honourable man. You all did see that on the Lupercal I thrice presented him a kingly crown, which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition? Yet Brutus says he was ambitious; and, sure, he is an honourable man. I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke, but I am here to speak what I do know. You all did love him once, not without cause: What cause withholds you then to mourn for him? O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts, and men have lost their reason. Bear with me; My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar, And I must pause till it come back to me. But yesterday the word of Caesar might have stood against the world; now he lies there, O masters, if I were disposed to stir your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage, I should do Brutus wrong, and Cassius wrong, who, you all know are honourable men: I will not do them wrong; I rather choose to wrong the dead, to wrong myself and you, than I will wrong such honourable men. But here's a parchment with the seal of Caesar; I found it in his closet,'tis his will: Let but the commons hear this testament - which, pardon me, I do not mean to read - and they would go and kiss dead Caesar's wounds and dip their napkins in

his sacred blood, Yea, beg a hair of him for memory, and, dying, mention it in their wills, bequeathing it as rich legacy unto their issue.

Fourth Citizen: We'll hear the will. Read it, Mark Antony. All: The will, the will! We will hear Caesar's will. Antony: Have patience, gentle friends; I must not read it. It is not meet you know how Caesar loved you. You are not wood, you are not stones, but men; and, being men, hearing the will of Caesar, it will inflame you, it will make you mad. Tis good you know not that you are his heirs; for, if you should, O, what would come of it?

Mahatma Gandhi - On ive Resistance ive resistance is a method of securing rights by personal suffering; it is the reverse of resistance by arms. When I refuse to do a thing that is repugnant to my conscience,...if I do not obey the law and accept the penalty for its breach, I use soul-force. It involves sacrifice of self. Everybody its that sacrifice of self is infinitely superior to sacrifice of others. Moreover, if this kind of force is used in a cause that is unjust, only the person using it suffers. He does not make others suffer for his mistakes. Men have before now done many things which were subsequently found to have been wrong. No man can claim that he is absolutely in the right and that a particular thing is 'wrong' because he thinks so, but it is 'wrong' for him so long as that is his deliberate judgment. It is therefore meet that he should not do that which he knows to be 'wrong', and suffer the consequence [of not doing it] whatever it may be. This is the key to the use of soul force. ...But you ask for historical evidence...Thousands, indeed tens of thousands, depend for their existence on a very active working of this force. Little quarrels of millions of families in their daily lives disappear before the exercise if this force. Hundreds of nations live at peace History does not and cannot take note of this fact. History is really a record of every interruption of the even working of the force of true love or of the soul...History then, is a record of the interruption of the course of nature. Soul-force, being natural, is not noted in history. ...How, then, can it be considered only a weapon of the weak? Physical-force men are strangers to the courage that is requisite in a ive resister. Do you believe that a coward can ever disobey a law that he dislikes? But a ive resister will say he will not obey a law that is against his conscience, even though he may be blown to pieces at the mouth of a cannon. What do you think? Wherein is courage required - in blowing others to pieces from behind a cannon, or with a smiling face to approach the cannon and be blown to pieces? Who is the true warrior-he who keeps death always as a bosom-friend, or he who controls the death of others? Believe me that a man devoid of courage and manhood can never be a ive resister. This however, I will it: that even a man weak in body is capable of offering his resistance. One man can offer it just as well as millions. Both men and women can indulge in it. It does not require the training of an army; it needs no jui-jistu. Control over the mind is alone necessary, and when that is attained, man is free like the king of the forest and his every glance withers the enemy.

From

Henry V

by William Shakespeare

WESTMORELAND. O that we now had here But one ten thousand of those men in England That do no work to-day! KING. What's he that wishes so? My cousin Westmoreland? No, my fair cousin; If we are mark'd to die, we are enow To do our country loss; and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share of honour. God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more. Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through my host, That he which hath no stomach to this fight, Let him depart; his port shall be made, And crowns for convoy put into his purse; We would not die in that man's company That fears his fellowship to die with us. This day is call'd the feast of Crispian. He that outlives this day, and comes safe home, Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd, And rouse him at the name of Crispian. He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.' Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars, And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.' Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot, But he'll , with advantages, What feats he did that day. Then shall our names, Familiar in his mouth as household words- Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter, Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester- Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red. This story shall the good man teach his son; And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by, From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be ed-We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition; And gentlemen in England now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

Conversational Magic: Words to Awaken New Visions for Our World - 57

Martin Luther King

-1 Have a Dream

References and Related Readings

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of difficulties and frustrations of the moment I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. Sleight of Mouth: The Magic of Conversational Belief Change, Dilts, R., Meta I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed, Publications, Capitola, CA, 1999. "We hold these truths to be self-evident; that all men are created equal." of Systemic Neuro-Linguistic Programming and NLP Newand Coding, I haveEncyclopedia a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves sons Dilts, of former slave-owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. R. and DeLozier, J., NLP University Press, Santa Cruz, CA, 2000. From Coach to I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state sweltering with heat Awakener, Dilts, R., Meta Capitola, 2003. The Courage to Love, of injustice and oppression, will Publications, be transformed into an CA, oasis of freedom and justice. I haveGilligan, a dreamS.,that my Norton four little children willNew oneYork, day live a nation where they will not be W.W. & Company, NY,in1997. judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today. Steps to an Ecology of Mind, Bateson, G., Ballantine Books, New York, New York, 1972. I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently Changing with NLP, Dilts, R., Meta Capitola, 1990. The dripping with theBelief wordsSystems of interposition and nullification, willPublications, be transformed into a CA, situation where little black boys and black girls and little white boys and white girls will walk together as sisters and brothers. Collected Papers of Milton H. Erickson Vol. IV, Erickson, Milton H., Irvington Publishers I have a dream today. Inc., New York, New York, 1980. Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted; every hill and mountain shall be madeErickson, low, the rough willII,be made plains, and theJ.crooked placesR., will be made M.D.,places Volume Grinder, J., DeLozier, and Bandler, 1977. Structure of straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This isI &the with R. which return toJ., the1975 South. With this we will be R., Magic, Volumes II, faith Bandler, andI Grinder, & 1976. NLPfaith Volume I, Dilts, able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With Grinder, J., able Bandler, R. and DeLozier, J., together, 1980. Strategies of together, Genius, Volumes l-lll, Dilts, this faith we will to work together, to pray to struggle to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day. R., 1994-1995. This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning: Conversational Magic: Words to Awaken New Visions for Our My country,'tis of thee, World - 59 Sweet land of liberty, Of thee I sing: Land where my fathers died, Land of the pilgrim's pride, From every mountain-side Let freedom ring. If America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring. When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to hands and wing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last!"

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