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Anna

Waiting For Redemption

Gail K. Bell

Copyright © 2019 Gail K. Bell.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.Zondervan.com.

The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks ed in the United States. Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-7620-1 (sc) ISBN: 978-1-9736-7621-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019915757

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/15/2019

To my

husband, Robert, the love of my life; our son, David, my bundle of miracles; and Teresa, my lifelong friend, thanks for listening.

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1 Anna Is Born

Chapter 2 A Family Forsaken

Chapter 3 The Secret Place

Chapter 4 Anna’s Confusion

Chapter 5 The Abuse

Chapter 6 Moving Away

Chapter 7 Nightmares

Chapter 8 Blaming God

Chapter 9 The Abortion

Chapter 10 A Personal Savior

Chapter 11 Trouble with School

Chapter 12 Uncle Henry Is Dead

Chapter 13 The Confession

Chapter 14 Inner Struggles

Chapter 15 Church

Chapter 16 The Belly of the Whale

Chapter 17 Cindy’s Forgiveness

Chapter 18 Anna’s Redemption

Chapter 19 Peace and Love

Chapter 20 Gabriel

Chapter 21 A Girl Named Debbie

Chapter 22 The Decision

Chapter 23 Anna and John

Chapter 24 Love Begins

Chapter 25 The Proposal

Chapter 26 Adopting a Baby

Chapter 27 A Seed Is Planted

Chapter 28 Samuel David

Chapter 29 The Wedding

Afterthought

About the Author

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.

—Psalm 27:10 (NIV) He didn’t leave me in the darkness. He came and stayed with me Till the light came. —Gail K. Bell

Foreword

I think everyone loves to read a story of real struggle. As you read about Anna, you will experience her fears and pain. Sometimes it will even feel like it is happening to you. Prepare to cry. Anna will move your soul. She moved mine.

Introduction

Anna is a story that could be anyone—you or me. Although this is fiction, I know lots of people who have had similar experiences. Anna finds out that Jesus has always been there, just waiting for her to come. Overwhelming forgiveness and love are hers for the taking. When she is finally free, a whole new chapter in her life opens.

Chapter 1

Anna Is Born

I n a small Southern town in Alabama, a little girl was born in 1955. Her mom and dad, Jeanie and William, had married right after high school and were not planning on having a family so soon. But Anna changed all of that. Despite her unexpected arrival, they fell in love with their baby the moment she was born. Anna’s mom decided to stay at home with her; her dad worked with a local mechanic. He had been good with car motors in high school, and his experience got him this job after graduation. Jeanie filled her days taking care of their new baby and being a homemaker. William decided to leave when Anna was very young. “If I go North, I might secure a better position in one of the car factories.” Jeanie hadn’t realized he wasn’t happy with his mechanic job. She thought things were good. “I will send for you and Anna after getting settled.” Jeanie was nervous about this plan, but she trusted William to make the right decisions for their family. So he left early one hot summer morning. He kissed Anna and Jeanie good-bye. “I will see you all soon.” Somehow Jeanie knew that day would never come. This was the last day Jeanie ever saw her husband. He would write her later and ask for a divorce. This was a big blow to Jeanie and Anna. But for Anna, this would have a profound effect on her life.

Chapter 2

A Family Forsaken

M oney was tight. Making ends meet would be tough. Jeanie thought, How will I ever be able to do this? Who could help us? Jeanie had little experience in the job market. She had always been a mother and homemaker. Anna could hear her mother crying at night. She knew she was worried about their situation. Jeanie decided she would start looking for a job right away, so she picked up a newspaper and noticed a teller position open at the bank. If she could work something out with her brother and sister-in-law, Henry and Helen, to care for Anna in the day, she could do it. Jeanie realized for her and Anna’s sake that she was going to have to. Henry and Helen were happy to help. Anna would stay with them while she interviewed. Jeanie got the job and would start the following Monday. Mr. Campbell, the bank manager, agreed to give her a try. He was a little reluctant knowing she had a young child to raise. But Jeanie assured Mr. Campbell she was working out Anna’s care with her brother and sister-in-law. Everything would be fine.

Chapter 3

The Secret Place

H enry and Helen loved having Anna, and she didn’t mind staying. Uncle Henry had always been kind to her. Anna told her mom, “Don’t worry, I’ll be good and not cause any trouble.” Anna wanted to see her mother smile again. Since her father had left, the happiness had gone out of their lives. Maybe this would be the answer. Anna kept herself busy playing and pretending. Most of her days would be spent with Henry and Helen. She told herself, “I need to be a big girl for my mom.” She knew her mom needed the job very badly so she could them. Anna wondered sometimes, What had I done to make Daddy leave? Did he not love or want me? I would try extra hard to be the best girl I could. Jeanie dropped Anna off at Henry’s on her way to the new job early Monday morning. “I’ll pick you up at five fifteen. Have a good day, Anna. I love you.” Anna had a sick feeling in her stomach. They had never been separated before. This was going to be harder than she thought. Helen took care of Anna most of the day. Henry’s job ended around three o’clock. He would then spend some time with Anna before Jeanie came for her. Henry had built a tree house in the backyard the year they bought this house. He and Helen had always hoped their children would play in it, but there had been no children. Anna thought the tree house was amazing. She had never had a playhouse and thought this was going to be fun. Anna climbed up inside and looked around. This place was going to need a few of her toys to make it seem like home.

Henry climbed in with her and suggested, “This could be our secret place. We would tell no one. It would be just for you and me.” Anna liked that idea. It was going to be exciting to have a secret place. Jeanie picked Anna up that afternoon. As they drove home, she wanted to tell her about the secret place. But she ed her promise to Uncle Henry. This would prove to be a bad decision for Anna.

Chapter 4

Anna’s Confusion

A nna’s dream playhouse turned into a nightmare. Uncle Henry was abusing Anna. She was too young to understand all of this. He told her he loved her and said if she loved him, she would do the things he wanted her to do. Confusion began to take over. She thought, If Uncle Henry loves me like he says, then why do I hate this? It isn’t fun to come here anymore. Henry convinced Anna that her mom would never believe her if she told. Jeanie would only get angry at Anna for lying and not allowing her to stay with them. There would be no one to care for her while she worked, and she would lose her job. It would be all Anna’s fault, and Anna had promised her mother she would be a good girl and not cause any trouble. Anna thought, What would happen to us? Daddy has already left. I don’t want Mama to cry anymore.

Chapter 5

The Abuse

J eanie noticed her little girl didn’t seem as happy as she once had been. She often asks Anna if everything is all right. Anna desperately wanted to tell her mom what was going on. But every time she thought about it, overwhelming fear flooded her mind. Jeanie let Anna out one morning on her way to work. Henry and Helen had a big surprise waiting for her. All wrapped up in a box with a big red bow was the sweetest puppy, the best gift she had ever received. Anna couldn’t believe it. She had always wanted a puppy. Henry would wait until Anna was extremely attached to her puppy and then threaten to hurt her little dog if she told. He would tell Anna over and over in the tree house that something very bad would happen to him. Anna would lie in bed at night and cry herself to sleep. She would whisper, “God, where are You? Can’t You make him stop? Uncle Henry says he loves me. I hate him. Please, God, make him stop.”

Chapter 6

Moving Away

J eanie had some exciting news for Anna: Mr. Campbell had asked her to marry him. Anna wanted her mama to be happy, and Mr. Campbell seemed nice. She still wished her daddy would come back. It would be years before Anna would understand any of this. Jeanie told Anna, “We will be moving in a few months, to Columbia, South Carolina. Mr. Campbell is taking a new job there.” Anna is happy to leave. She could finally be free of Uncle Henry. The move couldn’t come soon enough for her. No more Uncle Henry. No more lies. She was looking forward to leaving the hurtful past behind. Anna told herself, “Anything would be better than Uncle Henry’s home.” Anna is turning six, and Jeanie enrolled her in the local school. Anna likes her teacher and seems to adjust well. She didn’t talk a lot about school or friends. Jeanie thought it would just take time. After she gets used to it, everything will work out. Anna was beginning to hide in her dark place.

Chapter 7

Nightmares

T he past three years ed quickly. Anna had just had a birthday. Jeanie suggested she have a party, but Anna had no interest. She seemed so far away. Jeanie and Mr. Campbell had been blessed with two more children in the household. Anna felt lost. With a new brother and sister to care for, the time she and her mom spent together became less and less. So she decided the best thing for her to do was concentrate on school. She immersed herself in her studies and ed some clubs. She told herself to keep busy, which would leave little time to think about the past. But as Anna slept, the nightmares began to haunt her. She screamed out one night in her sleep, “Please, please stop! Don’t do that!” Jeanie ran into her room. “Anna, stop! Wake up! Who is trying to harm you? What is it?” “Just hold me, Mom.” Anna wanted to tell Jeanie everything, but she was still too afraid. Why hurt Mom now? She is happy in her new life. Anna once again tucked all the pain and darkness deep inside. She hoped it would just disappear. She prayed, “God, why did this have to happen to me? I just want to be normal.”

Chapter 8

Blaming God

A nna had not been to church very much. Their family went on special occasions. Anna believed God existed, but she had no relationship with Him. She was full of anger, and she wanted to blame someone. Why not God? If He really cared, He would not have let those horrible things happen . It was easier to stay mad at God than to find out more about Him. She put God in her dark place with all the other things she didn’t want to think about. It would take years of more sorrow and pain before she would be ready to open her heart and let Him in to fill her darkness with His light and healing. As Anna grew, she continued to push her past deep inside her. Jeanie had a hard time trying to figure her out. She had no interest in friends. It was difficult to get her to do anything fun. Anna kept to herself out of fear. She didn’t want anyone to know about Uncle Henry. She knew he wasn’t around to abuse her anymore, but her trust had been damaged so much that she wasn’t ready for a relationship with anyone.

Chapter 9

The Abortion

H igh school was beginning for Anna. One bright spot in her life were her grades. Anna was an excellent student and made all As. Her teachers encouraged her to think about college. Focusing on school was good for her. It helped to fill those places inside she didn’t like to visit. Jeanie and Mr. Campbell were hoping college would be the answer for Anna. “Her strange attitude and behavior are hard to cope with. What happened to our sweet little girl?” Anna tried dating, but most of the boys were only interested in having a good time. She didn’t trust any of them. Anna developed such a numbness toward them that it didn’t even matter if the relationships went past the boundaries she knew it should. After all, I am already damaged. Why would it make any difference now? This behavior stayed with her for the next few years. This attitude was going to cost her. Graduation was moving closer. She did receive a scholarship. She would be attending a university in Florida. But a few weeks before graduation, she began to feel sick in the mornings. There were also certain foods that made her feel nauseous just to think about them. As she began to think back, there were also other signs her body was giving her that something wasn’t right. “It can’t be! I can’t be pregnant!” Panic gripped her. “What am I going to do? I’m supposed to graduate in two weeks, and I don’t even know who the father is.” She thought of telling her mom, but she knew she would fall apart. The only thing that made sense to her was abortion. Anna had read an article on the recent

Supreme Court decision that made it legal in all states. After a little research, she decided on Florida. She would tell her mom she was going to take care of some college business. Since it was her senior year, she would explain that she and her friend Susan would make a trip out of it. Anna had some money saved from previous summer jobs. Her plan was coming together. If she could get Susan to go with her, she might be able to pull it off. After graduation, the two girls took off for Florida. Jeanie wasn’t aware of anything. She thought Anna and Susan were taking a senior trip together. Anna was determined to get it over with. After filling out some paperwork and agreeing to their , the nurse told Anna, “Be back tomorrow. We have an opening in the afternoon.” Anna was eight weeks into her pregnancy. The procedure would go quickly, and she could move on with her life. Or so she thought. Anna pushed her baby to her dark place. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about right or wrong. She asked herself again, “Why did this have to happen to me? At least this time I have some control over the situation. I am making the decision to do what I want.” All night Anna wrestled in her mind. She kept telling herself, “This is what I have to do. I’ll lose everything if I don’t go through with this.” Anna and Susan arrived at the clinic right on time. The nurse led her to a room and told her to lie down. The doctor came in, and it was over quickly. That day Anna ended the life of her innocent baby. It was done. She thought, No more worry. I can move on now. The impact of this decision was going to be greater than she ever realized.

Chapter 10

A Personal Savior

A nna packed her things. She was ready to leave for college. The scholarship would cover all her expenses. She was ready to leave the past behind. Her mom was worried about her. Something didn’t seem right. She asked Anna many times if there were anything she wanted to tell her. Anna longed to share everything with Jeanie. Her heart ached to, but she just couldn’t bring herself to that place yet. So Anna left that day believing a new start would somehow erase the past. She was finding out that the past has a way of following you. College life was going well. Anna made good grades, and she felt life was getting better. She had a great roommate, Linda, who was easy to get along with. Anna felt like she could trust Linda. The two girls became close friends. Anna noticed something different about Linda. She read her Bible a lot. Anna also heard her praying sometimes at night. She wondered, Why does Linda want to do this? God has never done anything for me. I prayed when I was a child. It didn’t do any good. She asked her one day, “Why do you spend so much time praying and reading your Bible?” “I accepted Jesus as my Personal Savior about a year ago. I want to find out all I can about Him.” Anna didn’t understand. She had never heard anyone talk about Jesus like this. “What is a Personal Savior?” “Jesus lives inside of you. You can talk to Him about anything, and He will always listen. Anyone can have this relationship. All you have to do is invite Him in. If you call on Him, He will save you.”

Anna felt a prick inside. She didn’t know what to make of it. For the first time in her life, she was talking to someone who really knew Jesus.

Chapter 11

Trouble with School

T he nightmares were beginning again. All this was taking its toll on her ability to concentrate on her studies. Anna’s grades begin to fall. She didn’t understand why. Schoolwork had always been easy. Now she was struggling. The dean had a talk with her. “Your scholarship will be terminated if your grades don’t improve.” Anxiety and depression plagued her in the day, and fear filled the nights. She thought school was the answer for her past. Anna was beginning to learn she couldn’t outrun her past. The last thing on her mind was unexpected news from her mother. The phone rang early Friday morning. “Anna, it’s Mom. Henry has had a massive heart attack. He’s dead. The funeral will be in three days. Can you meet me there? I know how much you loved him.” Henry was dead. A cold, empty feeling swept through Anna’s body. I’m glad he’s dead. I hated him. Now Mom wants me to come to his funeral. I’m tired of all the pretending. I’m going to tell her everything. She put her studies on hold and left for Monroeville. As Anna drove, she rehearsed in her mind what she was going to say. Her mom would probably cry and tell her how sorry she was that it had happened. This was not the reaction Anna was going to get.

Chapter 12

Uncle Henry Is Dead

A nna went to Henry’s funeral. She would put this in her dark place along with all the other heartaches. Henry was the last person on earth she wanted to . She saw Aunt Helen and hugged her. Anna had wondered so many times, Did she know? How could she not? She never offered me any help. Did Henry ever threaten her? Anna would spend the night in town. She needed to return to school as soon as possible. She didn’t want Jeanie to know her education was in jeopardy. So she asked her mom, “Could we have some time to talk?” “The next day will be good.” Anna started thinking again how she would tell her. How will I go through with this? Maybe I should just leave and say nothing. But it was now or never.

Chapter 13

The Confession

A nna met Jeanie for lunch the next day. Jeanie’s husband and children were going to stay at Aunt Helen’s. This would give them time to catch up. “So, Anna, tell me about everything. How is school?” Anna didn’t want to talk about school. “It’s OK.” What she really wanted to talk about was Uncle Henry. Anna began to tremble and feel sick. “What’s troubling you, Anna?” “Mom, I need to tell you something. when I was young and stayed with Henry and Helen while you worked? Do you the tree house in their backyard?” Jeanie was starting to wonder where this was leading. “Uncle Henry told me the tree house was going to be our special place. I thought that would be fun. It soon became something entirely different.” “Stop, Anna! I don’t want to hear any more of this. If you are going to tell me some ridiculous story, I don’t want to discuss it.” Anna was stunned. She was not expecting this from her mother. “Mom, don’t you want to know what I have to say?” “I’m not interested in hearing lies about my brother. Henry is dead. He can’t defend himself.” Anna was angry. “These are not children’s fantasies. This is real life. Henry abused me. He deceived me. I was scared. He told me to never tell you. He said you might lose your job because you would have no one to care for me while

you worked. Daddy had left. I didn’t want any more trouble. my puppy? He said something terrible would happen to him too if I told.” Jeanie felt like she was going to explode. She would not accept what Anna was saying. She knew Anna had some problems, but she never thought she would make up such outrageous stories about Henry. “I don’t want to hear anymore.” Anna saw no point in trying to reason with her mother. She had more she wanted to tell her mom that day, but the chance to tell her had been stopped.

Chapter 14

Inner Struggles

A bandoned by her father, abused by her uncle, and now rejected by her mother, this was more than Anna could take. As she drove back to school, her mind went in every direction. Why was I ever born? It could not be for all of this. I’m so confused. How could my own mother not believe me? She was my last thread of hope. I thought I could tell her and she would understand. Now this is even gone. God, where are You in all of this mess? Do You care this is happening to me? I just want to die. What’s the point of anything? Anna’s mind was everywhere. She didn’t even realize how far she had driven. She was almost back at school. Anna was facing the fact that school was in jeopardy too. Linda was in the dorm when she got there. “How did it go?” Anna didn’t want her to know anything. Linda had no idea of Anna’s past. That was the way she wanted to leave it. This was going to her dark place. Anna had so much trouble sleeping that she decided she would see a doctor for some sleeping aid. It helped some. At least it numbed her mind somewhat. She managed to keep her grades up and keep the scholarship. School was all that was left. Anna had nowhere to go. She was going to have to make it work. Time was moving. She would soon graduate. It had been a long time since she had told Jeanie about Henry. Linda was concerned for Anna. She knew her inner struggles were wearing on her. She wanted desperately to help her, so she invited Anna to a Bible study. It was just a small group that got together every Tuesday night.

Anna didn’t want anything to do with a Bible study. She told Linda, “Don’t suggest God to me. I prayed as a child. He didn’t answer me.” Anna’s anxiety and depression were mounting. Maybe I could get something for that too. She saw another doctor and got a new pill. Life had become a blur. Somehow Anna managed to finish school. Graduation was in the spring. She had not made with her mother or family since the day she had told Jeanie about Henry. And no one but Susan knew about the abortion. After the reaction she got from her mom about Henry, she told herself, “No one will ever know about the abortion.”

Chapter 15

Church

L inda and Anna had become close friends, so they decided to get an apartment together after graduating. There was no reason to return to South Carolina. Anna liked Florida, so she thought, I might as well stay . Linda kept asking Anna to go to church with her. “You might be surprised. You might like it.” To keep Linda from pestering her, Anna agreed. “Let’s get it over with.” But Anna hadn’t been to church in years, so she asked, “What do people wear to church?” “Don’t worry. I’ll help you pick out something. Just be ready at nine thirty in the morning.” Anna somewhat enjoyed the service, especially the music. The people were kind. It was something to do on a Sunday. Linda asked her, “Would you like to come to Sunday school next week? There is a singles’ class. I think you would enjoy it.” Anna thought, Why not? If it will keep Linda off my back. The next Sunday, Anna returned, but this time she went early for Sunday school. There were about ten women and men there. The teacher, Mike, was pleasant enough. He asked, “Is there anyone who would like to share their testimony on how they came to Christ? We can start next Sunday.” Anna was getting uncomfortable. She knew she didn’t belong to Christ. She

needed to leave. Just then a young woman, Cindy, stood and said, “I would like to share my story.” Mike said, “We will do this next week when we have the full hour.” He knew Cindy’s story was too important to rush through. Anna had already decided she would not be coming back. I’m not like these people. This is too deep for me.

Chapter 16

The Belly of the Whale

L inda persuaded Anna to try church one more time. “If you don’t want to go anymore, I will leave you alone.” Cindy had shared some of her past with Linda. It was filled with miraculous things God had done for her. Linda was sure it would help Anna in her struggles to find the answers she wanted to know about Jesus. Linda had no idea how deep the darkness was in Anna. She sensed Anna was in great need of a Savior. God had set the stage for Anna. Her turning point was right at the door. She had been in the belly of the whale for a long time. He was about to spit her out.

Chapter 17

Cindy’s Forgiveness

L inda reminded Anna she needed to be at church early Sunday. Sunday school started at eight thirty. Cindy was trembling when she stood before them that day. She always prayed before giving her testimony. “Lord, give me the right words. May they minister to the ones who need to hear this. In Jesus’s name, Amen.” She spoke to the class. “The story I am about to share with you is hard to talk about. I believe this is what God wants this morning.” Cindy began with her childhood. “A family member abused me for many years, making me do things I hated. He threatened me and told me not to tell anyone, or he said he would harm my family. “As I grew older, I tried to commit suicide several times, and it didn’t matter what I became or did. After a string of relationships, I became pregnant. Not caring about myself or my baby, I decided to have an abortion. I convinced myself another life to worry about with all my issues would be crazy. I was such a mess. I certainly didn’t need to mess up another life.” Tears began to fill Cindy’s eyes. “When I left the abortion clinic that day, I thought I erased that problem in my life. I was so wrong. While waiting for an appointment, I picked up a Bible. I was mainly bored and wanted something to read. I looked through the pages and read about God’s love and forgiveness. I began to wonder if I could ever be forgiven. I had so much garbage in my past. I put the Bible down. I didn’t want to read anymore. It hurt too much. “But God was not going to let me go. A friend from work invited me to church with her. I went to get her to stop asking me. The pastor’s sermon was on the love of God. He explained how Jesus came to die for us. God sent His only Son to the cross. All past, present, and future sin was covered.

“As I sat there listening, I fell apart. I began to pray. ‘Jesus, I need You. I’ve made a mess out of my life. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.’ I began to sob and cry uncontrollably. I’m sure everyone there thought I was crazy. The people of the church were amazing. They all came and prayed and cried with me. “That day was the first step I took to my healing process. I was so consumed with my anger of the past that I hadn’t realized in my anger that I took the life of my precious baby. I was blaming my baby for messing my life up even more. “It has been two years since I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I am still on a healing journey. Some days the past sweeps over me like a tidal wave. The reality of what happened in my childhood, suicide attempts, and the abortion all still haunts me. The difference now is I have Jesus to fill the darkness with His light.”

Chapter 18

Anna’s Redemption

A nna thought her heart would beat right out of her chest. She was actually hearing someone else talk about the same hurt she had experienced. I’ve got to try to keep it together. I can’t breathe . Anna ran out of the class. She got in her car and drove. “I have to get away from here.” But she was not going to be able to outrun God. He was there waiting. He had been there waiting. Anna just didn’t know it yet. She ended up at the beach. She sat in her car and watched the waves come in. “Could God do for me what He did for Cindy?” She was finally ready to put her trust in someone who was greater than all of her past. She had prayed very little in her life. She would just pray what was in her heart. “Jesus, help me. I’m so sorry. I need You. Forgive me.” Anna looked out at the ocean and could picture herself being washed clean like waves covering her whole body, inside and out. She drove back to the apartment. Linda and Cindy were there waiting. As soon as she came in, the girls embraced each other. They cried and cried. Years of bottled up tears came out. “Thank You, Jesus. Thanks for loving me.” Anna began her process of healing that Sunday morning. She knew it would be a journey, but she would not be alone in it. She would no longer have to hide her past. She didn’t know it yet, but God had amazing plans for her life. Anna returned with Linda to church next Sunday. She told the pastor, “I have accepted Christ as my Savior.”

He asked, “Do you care if I share this with the church?” Anna was fine with that. How could I keep silent on the best thing that has ever happened to me? She and Cindy became good friends. Cindy helped Anna understand there was going to be a lot of forgiveness issues she would have to deal with. The first place to start would be with her own self. She had not realized until now what an impact the abortion would have on her life. Anna mourned heavily for the life she didn’t protect. Cindy told Anna, “It helped me to name my baby.” Anna knew her child was with Jesus. There would always be a place in her heart for this baby. Only heaven could be the ultimate healing. Anna would learn too there were things in this life she could not go back and change. All she didn’t understand she would cast on Jesus. As Anna grew in the Lord, she would find a deeper understanding of the whys, and for some things, she would never have an answer.

Chapter 19

Peace and Love

A nna hadn’t spoken to her mother since Henry’s funeral. She wanted Jeanie to know about her new life. She wasn’t sure how her mom would respond to her confessing Christ as her Savior. Her family didn’t know the Lord. She called her mom. “Can I come for a visit?” “That would be fine,” Jeanie told her. As Anna drove down the driveway, she could see her mother waiting. As she got out of the car, Jeanie threw her arms around Anna and pulled her close. “Oh, Anna, how I’ve missed you.” They talked for hours. Anna told Jeanie everything. Jeanie was stunned. Anna told her, “After all the running, I have accepted Christ as my Savior. I am a young Christian. I am not there yet, but I am on my way.” Jeanie had some news for Anna too. “I have cancer. They want to remove my breast and start treatments.” They embraced and cried for what seemed like forever. “Anna, I am so sorry. Can you forgive me? I never would have left you with Henry if I had only known. I couldn’t accept the fact that my brother did that to you.” “It’s over now, Mom. Jesus has forgiven me. I forgive you.” Anna stayed a few more days. She needed to get back to work. She had a new job at a crisis pregnancy center. She finally asked, “How are you going to

manage, Mom?” “My husband will care for the kids. They are older now, and it won’t be as hard.” “Jesus would love to be your Savior too. He’s waiting. Just accept Him. He loves you.” “I will think about it.” “Don’t think about it too long.” Anna and Jeanie kept in close , and they called each other often. Jeanie called one day, and the sound of her voice was different. “Anna, it’s Mom. I have been told I have only a few months to live. I’m not responding to treatments. The doctors say there is nothing else they can do.” “Mom, I’m coming. Hold on.” Anna left right away. She arrived in Columbia and went straight to the hospital. Jeanie had to return because she was getting worse. She was weak and frail. It broke Anna’s heart to see her this way. “Mom, it’s time. Jesus is waiting. He’s always been waiting. Let’s not keep Him waiting any longer.” Anna led her mom to Christ that day. She slipped into a coma a few days later and ed away peacefully. Jeanie died with a smile on her face. Anna felt that sting inside again. This time it was different. Although she was grief-stricken, she had such tremendous peace. “Fly home, Mom. Give your grandchild a big hug for me. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

Chapter 20

Gabriel

I t was time for Anna to start thinking about her future. She had been dealing with her past so much that she had little time to think about it. Linda was getting married and moving away. She had been a godsend in Anna’s life. The two girls had formed a bond that could never be broken. Anna would miss her, but they both knew it was time. God was moving both girls in new directions. Anna was a counselor at a crisis pregnancy center. She wanted to help other women make the right decisions about their babies. Anna took Cindy’s advice and named her baby. She decided on Gabriel. It would be good for a boy or girl. Sometimes late at night when she was lying in bed thinking and praying, she would tell the Lord to give Gabriel a big hug for her and then cry herself to sleep. There were a lot of hard days, but the Lord showed her she was taking something that cost her great pain and using it to help others. This was her mission, her calling.

Chapter 21

A Girl Named Debbie

“W hen are you going to get married?” people would ask. Anna tried not to let it bother her. But inside her heart, she wondered, Will anyone ever want me? Anna didn’t know it yet, but God was already at work on this. She would soon have an answer to that question. As she was clo for the day, a man with a young girl knocked on the door. “Are you closed?” “No,” Anna replied. “Come on in.” “This is Debbie. I’m John. Debbie is very confused. She needs some questions answered.” “OK, John, let’s sit down. What is your relation to Debbie?” “There is no relation. I am just a friend. She told me her family wants her to have an abortion. I asked her to come here before she made her decision.” Anna took Debbie into another room so they could talk privately. She tried to answer her questions. Since it was late, Anna asked Debbie to come back tomorrow. “The nurse will be here, and she would like to talk to you too.” Debbie agreed. Anna gave her some material to look over. Debbie promised she would read it. Anna prayed with Debbie before she left. Her heart was so heavy for this young girl. She knew exactly how she felt. John patiently waited on them to finish. He was going to drive Debbie home.

“Thanks for bringing her in, John. These situations are never easy. The women who come here are very confused. Everybody is trying to give advice.” “You sound like you know what you are talking about.” “I do. I’ve had an abortion. I know that it doesn’t stop in the clinic. You don’t abort your baby and never think about it again. You are never the same person.” John brought Debbie for several sessions. He was a good friend to her. Anna was curious what the connection was between John and Debbie. She finally got the courage to ask him. He itted, “I am Debbie’s youth pastor. She had no one else to turn to. Her family are not Christians. The responsible boy wants her to have an abortion. She’s only been saved a few weeks. She knows very little about the plan God has for her life. She became involved with a boy from church and thought she could trust him. He told her he loved her. Debbie believed him. The next thing she knew, she was pregnant. Debbie needs some guidance, and I’m trying to give it to her from God’s Word. I wish I could let her stay with me for a while, but I am not married.” Anna told Debbie, “You are welcome to stay with me. I will not give you advice unless you ask.” John told Anna, “I will bring Debbie over tonight.” “That will work fine.” Anna was feeling a little nervous. Every time she talked to John, she got butterflies. She hadn’t thought about dating in years. It was probably all in her head. She would try not to think of John in that way. Her head was saying one thing, but her heart was saying another. John dropped off Debbie at Anna’s. “Would it be okay if I called and checked on her?” Anna said, “Call anytime.” She was secretly praying, “Please, Lord, let him call.”

Chapter 22

The Decision

D ebbie and Anna began to spend a lot of time together. Some days she felt like they were making progress. Other days it was like they were going backward. After staying up all night, Debbie decided adoption looked like her best choice. She was so young and had no family or job to help her. Anna reminded Debbie, “You are not alone in this. The Lord will guide you at every step. John and I will be there too.”

Chapter 23

Anna and John

A nna was busy getting ready for work when the phone rang. “Hi, Anna. It’s John. How are things going?” “Debbie has made her decision. She’s going to place the baby for adoption. I’m going to help her connect with a few places to choose from.” John was relieved to hear this. He had felt all along this was going to be her best choice. “Anna, do you have a moment to talk?” Anna always had time to talk to John. “There is something I want to ask you, Anna.” Anna began to get that queasy feeling in her stomach. “Would you consider having dinner with me on Friday night?” She stammered a little bit and got the courage to say yes. “I will be by around seven.” Anna couldn’t believe it. “He asked me out! What am I going to do?” Just then Debbie walked in. “What are you going to do about what?” “John just asked me to dinner on Friday. I said yes. And now I’m terrified.” “Why are you so nervous about it? It’s just dinner.” It wasn’t just dinner for Anna. This was special and different. She had never

been on a date with a man like John. She was afraid if he really got to know her, he might not like her. If she kept their relationship simple, she would at least have a friendship with him. Anna drove to work arguing with herself the whole way, reasons why she should and shouldn’t do it. She arrived still not able to think of anything else. Her stomach stayed upset all day. She tried to concentrate, but it was impossible. “Lord, help me not to make a mess of this. I don’t want to get involved with John if it is not what You want.” Little did Anna know, John was thinking and praying the same thing.

Chapter 24

Love Begins

F riday night was approaching quickly. Anna’s thoughts were racing in every direction. Her biggest fear was when John found out about her past that he wouldn’t want to have a relationship with her. Anna wrapped up work early so she could get home and prepare for her date. Debbie helped her pick out something to wear. She fixed her hair and makeup. She had done her best. She prayed, “Lord, help me not to make a fool of myself.” John was right on time. Debbie answered the door. Anna didn’t want to seem too anxious. “I hope you like Italian,” he said. “It sounds wonderful.” She would have eaten dirt at this point. She was so excited to feel some happiness. She couldn’t even the last time she felt this way. Dinner went great. They talked and talked. John was easy to talk to. When they got back to Anna’s, John took her hand and told her, “I have wanted to ask you out for a long time. The Lord gave me such peace about this. Anna, I’m going to tell you right up front that I don’t like dating for something to do. I’ve prayed for a long time for God to send me the right person. I want to ask you: are you willing to see what the Lord has in store for us? I’m not trying to hurry you, but I must tell you what’s in my heart.” Anna began to cry. John didn’t know what to think. “What is it, Anna?” He was afraid he had said

too much too soon. Anna assured John, “You haven’t. I have been praying the same way. It was overwhelming when you told me this, John. My tears are happy tears, not sad ones.” John and Anna prayed together. “Lord, please guide us in our new relationship.” Anna said goodnight, and John promised he would call tomorrow. Anna tried to sleep, but she kept reliving her special time she had with him. “Thank You, Lord, for bringing John into my life.”

Chapter 25

The Proposal

A s Anna and John continued to date, their relationship deepened. There was one thing she hadn’t shared with him yet: He didn’t know about the abuse she had suffered from Henry. Anna knew she would have to tell him. This wasn’t going to be easy. It was a place Anna didn’t want to visit. It made her feel sick when she thought about her past. They were supposed to have a picnic Saturday. She would tell him then. Her mind told her John would not be able to deal with this. He knew about the abortion, but how would he react to this? Fear and panic swept over her. “Lord, give me the words to tell him. I’m so afraid.” They found a private place in the park for their picnic. It was quiet and peaceful. Anna had told John earlier there was something she wanted to discuss with him. She wasn’t eating anything. John could tell she was nervous. “Why don’t you tell me what’s troubling you, Anna?” “I might as well start from the beginning. My father left when I was young. My mother needed to work to us, so I had to stay with her brother and his wife.” Anna went on to explain the abuse and all the problems it had created with her life and family. She told John how her mother reacted and how for years they didn’t have any . “Right before my mother died, we had a chance to talk. We forgave each other for all of the hurt of the past. I led my mom to Christ right before she went to heaven.” Anna was weak and exhausted when she finished. John held her in his arms. She cried till there were no more tears.

John looked into her eyes. “Anna, I want to tell you something. I love you. God has placed you so deep in my heart that there is nothing you could ever tell me that would change that. I thought you were bringing me here to break up with me. I’ve been sick with worry.” “I was afraid my baggage was too much and you wouldn’t want any more to do with me when you heard everything.” “Anna, I see you clean and pure. I love you.” “I love you too, John.” “With all that I am, I love you.” John asked Anna to marry him that day. It was more than she could ever dream or imagine. John loved her. They would start planning their future together.

Chapter 26

Adopting a Baby

D ebbie was moving into her seventh month and still hadn’t decided on an adoption family. She had looked at many profiles, but nothing seemed to fit. She knew there were many couples who would love to adopt her baby. But which one should she choose? Anna and Debbie were in the kitchen one day, having one of their girl talks. Debbie asked Anna, “Would you ever consider adoption for yourself?” Anna hadn’t ever thought about it before. She had always had so much mess in her own life that she hadn’t thought the Lord might take her in this direction. Debbie asserted, “You would make a great mother.” “Where is all this going, Debbie?” “I’ve been thinking and praying. Since you and John are getting married in a few months, you might consider adopting my baby.” Anna was speechless. This came from left field. “Lord, what are You up to?” Anna was learning that sometimes God pitches from left field.

Chapter 27

A Seed Is Planted

J ohn came by Anna’s that night to discuss the wedding. His parents were planning on coming from Virginia. Anna hadn’t met them yet. John had told them how the Lord had brought him and Anna together. They were overjoyed for their son. They would love and accept Anna into their lives like a daughter. Anna would lean on them in days to come for strength and wisdom that only parents can provide. Her parents were gone, but God had sent her a blessing through John’s family. Anna told John about the conversation she and Debbie had earlier. “Debbie hasn’t been able to decide on a family yet. She asked me if we might consider it. What do you think, getting married and having a baby at the same time? Do you think we could handle that?” “I think if this is God’s plan, we can handle anything. God never asks us to do something He doesn’t equip us to do.” Anna agreed. “Let me ask you something, Anna. Can you walk away from this? If you can, then drop it. If you can’t, then we are adopting a baby.” God had dropped a seed in their hearts that day for a little baby who hadn’t been born yet, a little seed that would grow and grow and be a blessing to their lives in ways they couldn’t imagine. John and Anna told Debbie they would be honored to adopt her baby. Now Anna had a wedding to plan for and a new baby! They decided to marry at the same place Anna was saved. The beach had always been their favorite spot. She would never forget the day she was redeemed.

“Oh, God, You have filled the cracks and crevices of my brokenness with Yourself. I never dreamed I would be able to have a future with so much hope. Thank You.”

Chapter 28

Samuel David

D ebbie woke Anna in the middle of the night. “Something’s wrong. I think my water broke.” “It’s too soon. You’re only eight months.” “I know, but I am having contractions.” Anna drove Debbie to the hospital and called John. “We may have a baby soon.” John said, “I am on the way.” Anna stayed with Debbie the whole time. She encouraged her to rely on the Lord and His strength. After twenty hours of hard labor, Debbie gave birth to a eightpound, seven-ounce healthy baby boy. He had been born early, but his weight and vital signs were all perfect. Maybe the doctors misdiagnosed his arrival, or perhaps this was from God’s left field. Anna and John gave Debbie some time to be alone with her baby. They knew this was going to be hard for her. As Debbie held him, she was so full of emotion. She knew in her heart that giving him to John and Anna was the best thing for her baby. It still didn’t change the way she felt. Debbie was feeling a deep anguish like she had never experienced. As she lay there holding him, she prayed in her heart, “Father, he is Yours. I will always love him. May he know one day why I did this. Amen.”

Chapter 29

The Wedding

D ebbie and the baby would have to stay with Anna for a few weeks. Since the baby was born early, they would have to rearrange things a little differently. The wedding was moving closer. Anna had called her stepfather, brother, and sister, hoping they could come. Mr. Campbell’s health wasn’t the best. Traveling would be hard. They decided not to try it. She was hoping to have some of her family there. Anna missed her mother desperately. Jeanie would have been overjoyed for her. It was times like this she longed to have her mom back. Anna picked out a beautiful dress and asked Debbie to be her attendant. Next she needed someone to give her away. As she thought about it, she ed Mike, the one who let Cindy give her testimony that Sunday morning. God used that testimony to bring Anna to the Lord. She asked Mike if he would step in for her. “I would be honored,” he said. Everything was working out. Soon she would be Mrs. John Stevens. John and Anna exchanged their vows on a beautiful Saturday morning. Instead of traditional vows, they each chose their favorite Bible verses on marriage and vowed to keep God’s word to each other. John’s favorite was Ephesians 5:25–28 (NIV).

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought

to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Anna’s favorite was Ruth 1:16 (NIV).

But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

When they finished, a young girl sang “The Love of God.” This had always been Anna’s favorite since she came to Christ. Debbie brought their son, Samuel David, and placed him in their arms. They made a vow to Samuel that day too. John and Anna told the Lord they would love, honor, and cherish their son all the days of his life. They thanked God He had made a family out of their union. It appeared Samuel came into the world right on time. God always has a plan. John, Anna, and Samuel began their journey together. It was going to be amazing! Bends and Curves Blue Skies and Hills God Only Knows What the Next Step Holds

Afterthought

The story of Anna came to me from the Lord. I was praying for something special. God flooded my mind with Anna. I wrote it as fast as I could. When I was finished, I couldn’t leave it sitting there. I had to get the story out. I pray whatever your need, Anna will reach in your heart and minister to you. All names, dates and locations are based upon a fictitious story. Any similarity is coincidental.

About the Author

Gail and her husband and son live in Western North Carolina. She has been married to Robert for thirty-three years. She is a singer/songwriter who loves to travel. Look for more books by Gail K. Bell

Coming Soon

Anna The Revealing

and

A New Place in Him