Developing The Social Aspect Of Your Personality 216n5s

DEVELOPING THE SOCIAL ASPECT OF YOUR PERSONALITY THE SOCIAL ASPECT OF PERSONALITY The personality of a person is shown by his or her pattern of habits, attitude and relationship which can be acquired by anyone through experiences as a result of the influence of environment. This social aspect of personality is important because it implies the personality can be developed, altered, or improved. THE INFLUENCE OF ENVIRONMENT IN YOUR SOCIAL BEHAVIOR Social environment plays such an important role in determining a person’s personality that it makes a difference what a man does for a living and even where one lives. IMPORTANCE OF STUDYING SOCIAL GRACES 1.Knowledge of accepted social graces gives people increased self – confidence. 2.Knowledge of good manners increases a person’s sense of security, poise and self – respect. 3.Once you know the rules of etiquette, you will be able to know what is expected from you. 4.Knowledge of good manners will help you do much easy what is expected from you. 5.Knowing good manners will help you get along well with different kinds of people. ETIQUETTE – consists of a set of rules of living on our society. Etiquette is a way of treating others as you would like others to treat you with respect and thoughtfulness. BUSINESS ETIQUETTE – these are the set of certain patterns of considerate interaction when doing business of any kind business etiquette are cleared guidelines on how to act in any business situation having to do with a person’s job. SOCIAL GRACES – more popularly known as good manners and etiquette. MANNERS – are social conduct and rules of conduct. Manners are the manifestation of courteous behavior in various situations. GOOD MANNERS AT HOME 1. At home, we should practice the social amenities of living so that we will be used to doing them when we are in public 2. At home, you should help in order to create an atmosphere of mutual respect, trust, and love. 3. At home, it is very important that we treat each member of the family with love and respect. Do not take each other for granted. 4. Every member of the family is entitled to his/her own share of privacy. 5. Never violate the privacy of your family or relatives by opening their mails without their permission. 1

6. A close door in your home should be respected. Knock and wait for the answer before entering. 7. Every member of the family is to have the privilege of entertaining his own friends with a minimum of interference from the rest of the family. 8. Always be courteous to elders, even to children and the house helpers. 9. Avoid borrowing personal belongings of your parent, brothers, and sisters. Ask permission in you need to do so. 10.Wherever you wish to go, ask permission and inform your parents about your where with whom you are going. This is also for security reason and for your safety so your parents can trace your whereabouts. 11.Respect the feelings of your parents, brothers and sisters at all times. Obedience to do what is right is an indicator of respect. 12.Avoid snooping of listening in to the conversation of other of the family, either over the telephone or when one is entertaining a visitor in the house. GOOD MANNERS IN SCHOOL 1. Maintain good attendance record 2. Record regularly and be on time for all your class. Notify your teacher and classmates in case you cannot come to class due to some reasonable causes, like sickness or some emergency. 3. Do your homework and assignment at home so you will really have enough time to prepare them well. Do not do your assignment inside the classroom while discussion is going on. 4. Know and follow all your school rules and regulations. 5. Wear the prescribed uniform and ID if that is your school regulation. Wearing of uniform and proper identification (ID) are for safety precaution so that NO OUTSIDERS, who can badly influence you, can enter the school campus. Wearing of ID and the school uniform is for your protection so that school authorities can identify readily who does not belong. 6. Try to uphold the good name of your school by bringing honor in various competitions. 7. Participate actively in all classroom discussions. Take the opportunity to enhance your leadership traits. 8. Participate in all your school activities. various school organization as part of your leadership training. 9. Strive to achieve academic excellence in all your subjects. 10.Read a lot and learn to listen and share ideas especially during classroom discussion. You w8ill learn a lot by reading and listening. 11.Wait for your turn to talk when you want to share something worthwhile. 12.Be polite and respectful at all times. GOOD MANNERS IN PUBLIC 1. The best way to improve the manners in public is for each of us to follow the “Golden Rule”: Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you or Do unto others what you would want others do unto you. 2

2. Do not push your way into the public conveyance. Fall in line and wait for your turn. 3. Do not cut ahead of others on a ticket line. 4. Sit properly inside a public transportation so that others may be comfortably seated. 5. Close the door quietly in public. 6. Do not comb your hair in public. 7. Do not spit or pick your nose in public. 8. Do not clean your fingernails and scrape off nail polish in public. 9. Women should not smoke in public. 10.Avoid long introduction or conversation on the street and the public conveyances to avoid human traffic along the way. 11.Remain quiet in the theater to allow others to enjoy themselves. 12.Treat sales clerk and other service personnel with respect and consideration. RESTAURANT MANNERS 1. In a restaurant, the waiter usually comes forward for assistance. The woman, therefore, should follow the waiter. 2. When there is no waiter, the man precedes the woman and leads her to a convenient place. 3. After choosing the location, the man should pull out a chair and should help sit the woman. If there is a waiter, this is usually done by the waiter. 4. The man should sit the woman where she can have a good view of the place. She should not be seated where ing people may strike her chair. She should not also be seated facing the wall or a swinging door,. 5. If you are going our in a group of four, the man should sit on the aisle seats and the woman be their back on the wall. 6. If you are going out with two men, the woman should sit between them. 7. In this modern time, the woman can direct her order to the waiter when she is asked for her preferences. Before, it was not in good taste for the woman to other directly. 8. When you are unfamiliar with the restaurant and its specialties, you can ask the waiter to recommend some of its specialties. If there are unfamiliar listing on the menu. It is all right to ask for clarification. 9. Calli8ng of the waiter needs a certain degree of politeness. You may cause the following suggestions. a. Watch his eyes and then raise your hand as if to say . You here. b. You may call quietly “waiter” or “waitress” without making a scene. c. If your waiter is far away or if you don’t your waiter, ask another waiter nearby to call him for your. d. Never clay your hands or tap in the table with spoon when calling the waiter. e. Avoid whistling or calling the waiter “Psssssst.” 10.When paying the bill, check the orders make and the computations. If there are now mistake, return it together with the payment. 3

11.If you find an error in the bill, request politely for proper adjustment. If the management doesn’t seem to care, simply pay the bill, but do not return to that restaurant again. 12.When you are satisfied with the service of the waiter, you can give a 5% or 10% tip out of the total bill. 13.If the bill contains a service charge. You may or you may not give an extra tip for the waiter. It all depends on the kind of service the waiter has given you. If you are satisfied and generous enough, you can give an extra top to recognize “a job well done”. 14.The woman should avoid extensive making up in public especially in a restaurant. She should go to the powder room while the man is paying the bill. 15.Avoid a long chat when you see people whom you know in a restaurant. A simple hello will do the job. You may ask for the telephone number or better still you may leave your numbers where you can continue your conversation. 16.But when introduction are necessary, the man should stand when a woman is being introduced. But when a woman is introduced to a man or another woman, the latter remain seated. 17.When a man talks to just one man, the other man does not stand. If the conversation will take some time, let the man take the seat and you. TABLE MANNERS 1. Sit erect at the table. Do not lean your elbows on the table while waiting for your orders to arrive. 2. When eating, the head should be bowed down slightly, but not too low to your plate. 3. Carry the food directly to the mouth. Do not stop halfway to talk. 4. Do not talk when your mouth is full. Finish the food in your mouth before you talk. 5. Chew it with your mouth closed, and chew the food thoroughly to enjoy the taste of the food. 6. When cutting meat, hold the fork in the left hand, tines down, with the handle touching the palm of your hand, and cut the meat into bite pieces with knife on your right hand. 7. Hold the knife and fork correctly. There are two eating styles that are acceptable. They are the: a. AMERICAN STYLE: you cut the meat with the knife on the right hand and eat with the fork in the left hand. You cut, spear and bring the meat to your mouth with the fork. b. CONTINENTAL STYLE: with your right hand, cut the meat into several bite pieces. You put down the knife after cutting by placing it on the upper portion of the plate. Transfer the fork to your right hand to spear the meat, then bring the meat to the mouth. 8. Don’t blow in the soup in the cup to cool it. Wait until cool enough to eat. Spoon the soup away from you to avoid accidental spill on your clothes. 9. Cut bread into bite pieces with your hands and put some butter with the knife on the right hand and bring the buttered bread (bit piece) to your mouth to eat with your left thumb and index fingers. 4

10.If you accidentally drop your silverware, apologize briefly and ask for a replacement. Don’t attempt to pick it up. 11.Food eaten with fork. , food is to be lifted upon the fork, nor speared are meat, fish, poultry (when served cut.) 12.Food eaten with fingers are bread, sandwiches, celery, olives, radishes, nuts, cookies, bits size chunks of cheese, apples, chicken (when poultry is served whole. 13.If the food you want to take is far from your place, you may request the person near it by saying. “Please the chicken”. 14. To remove bones in your mouth, cover it with a napkin and get it with your hand using the index and the thumb fingers. 15.After eating, arrange the fork and spoon on top of your plate in one place. Preferable on the right side of the plate, and return the cloth napkin on top of the table.

MANNERS IN DATING 1. Your parent should be informed as to whom and where you are going out dating. This is an indication of respect for your parents. 2. Seeing each other at a designated place from your home is permissible, but do not make it too often. You should always let your parents or guardians know the man with whom you are going with for security reason or for your safety. 3. For women, avoid wearing seductive attire so as not to arouse the man’s basic instincts. 4. Learn to control your emotion yourself. Do not do things which are done only by married couple, you will later regret because you are not yet ready for the responsibilities. 5. To be treated like a lady, requires a lady like behavior. 6. In this modern age when dating expenses can be shared when both the man and the woman are working. However, good manner dictates that the man is responsible in shouldering expenses if he was the one who asked for the date. 7. A lady should not telephone a man unnecessarily. Most man will get upset if the woman makes the first move. Ladies, it is still part of good manners to wait for the man to call you. 8. Let the man be the one to ask for the date. 9. A woman should wait for her escort to open the door, pick up drop articles and help in the car. 10.When entering the restaurant, that when there is a waiter the woman should precede the man by following the waiter; when there is no waiter, the man should precede the woman so that he can look for a vacant table. 11.When entering the entrance door of a restaurant, good manners dictate that the man should open the door for the woman. The woman should give chance for the man to open the door for her.

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12.When going out dating, be considerate of the pocket of your escort. Avoid ordering too expensive food on the menu. However, you should also avoid ordering the cheapest food on the menu. 13.Etiquette dictates that you have to finish all the food you ordered. 14.The man should stay on the danger side when walking and crossing the street. 15.When riding a jeep or bus, the woman should precede the escort. 16.When from a jeep or bus, the escort should get out first before the woman and guide the woman down. 17.During dating, avoid doing things being done only by married couple. It is very hard to regret at the end. . “TRUE LOVE KNOWS HOW TO WAIT” 18.Go to places where you will have the chance to meet different people. In this way, you’ll have the chance to know the person better. Chaperons should also be treated with concern and respect so that they can also enjoy your company. 19.Do not limit yourselves to seeing a movie where it is dark and minimum interaction or conversation can take place. Go to various places where you can talk, discuss, share ideas, and even plan for your future. Observe his or her behavior particularly so that you will be able to know what kind of person he or she really is. 20.Dating is an opportunity for you to know each other better. Do not do anything that will destroy the trust of your parents. Use dating to develop your friendship with one another with clean wholesome form of entertainment to make you both better persons.

PURPOSE ON INTRODUCTION The purpose of introduction is to make certain that the person being introduced will know each other.

Strategies on how to do the Job of Introduction effectively (If you will be the one who will do the introduction) 1. When making introduction, gain the attention of the individuals. 2. Look at the person you are addressing. 3. Speak distinctly so that everybody can understand by stating the names clearly. 4. If you forget someone’s name, it your lapse and ask about his name. 5. Include a conversational lead when necessary so that the people who are introduced will have something to talk about.

Strategies on the proper way of Introduction 1. Introduce a man to a woman. State the woman’s name first: “Mrs. Madrid, I would like to introduce Mr. de Vera to you” Or “Mrs. Madrid, this is Mr. de Vera 2. Person of higher rank or authority should be mentioned first. 3. In social situation, church dignitaries, royalty or heads of state are mentioned first as a sign of respect. 6

4. When introducing persons of the same sex and approximately the same age, either of the two may be mentioned first. 5. Present a person of lower rank to his superior. 6. Present a young person to older person. 7. A newcomer may be presented to the group when there are four of five people in a room. Example: “ I would like you to meet my new assistant Miss. Joyce De Vera.” Then mention each persons’ name to the new like: “Joyce, this is Jeffrey, Jerico, Jaymie, and Ryan Jay.” 8. When there are five people, it is preferable to introduce the newcomer to just two or three people at a time. 9. Self-introduction is acceptable on occasions when it will be necessary: a. If the host is so busy to do so, you may introduce yourself to any of the guests. b. When meeting someone new in your office. c. When meeting some at the conference. You may start by saying, :Hi, I’m Kate, from Notre Dame of Tacurong College. What’s yours?”

Things to when Acknowledging Introduction 1. When introducing people, use names and titles appropriately. 2. When you are being introduced to someone, give him or her the courtesy of your full attention. 3. Look directly at the person as you try to fix to your mind some facial features that will help you recall the person’s name. 4. The simplest form of acknowledgment that is acceptable is: “How do you do, Mr. Torres?” 5. Another form of acknowledgement that may be used in less formal situation is: “:I am glad to meet you, Mr. Pascual.” Or ‘Hello, Jerico”. 6. A woman remain seated when introduced to a man. 7. However, a woman is expected to stand when introduced to a man or woman considerable older than herself or of higher rank. 8. You should stand when you are being introduced to your prospective boss or employer. 9. A man should stand when being introduced to a woman. 10.A handshake is a gesture of trust and an expression of friendliness. Handshake should be done properly with a firm grip, but not too strong so as not to hurt the person. 11.When you do shake hands, do it gracefully but firmly. Avoid putting undue pressure into the handshake. Look at the person SMILE, and shake hands in the manner that attests to your pleasure in the meeting. 12.Men normally shake hands when being introduced. 13.Etiquette dictates that a woman should be the first one to offer her hand for a shake hand when introduced to a man. This is done because a gentleman will never refuse an extended hand of a woman. 7

14.If a man, however, offers his hand in excitement, the woman should not refuse or ignore it. The man will be insulted if you refuse his offer of a handshake. Do not put malice in a handshake. It is a sign of acceptance of friendship. 15.When leaving someone you have just met, you simply say “Goodbye, Jerico”. The name should be mentioned, since the plain “goodbye” may sound rather abrupt. You may also say, “It was a pleasure meeting you. Hope to see you again, Jerico.” Mentioning the name of the new friend will help you the person should you have the chance to meet again in the future.

Business conduct and office etiquette for moving up the corporate ladder 1. Dress appropriately for your job. No plunging necklines, bare shoulder or even sleeveless dressed on some jobs, no shirt, no skirts that’s too short and very high slits, no jewelry that dangles and jingles, no make-up or perfume that’s too obvious. 2. Observe all written and unwritten rules and regulations or each job. 3. Don’t compare the conditions of your present job to condition on a previous job. If a condition elsewhere seem preferable, perhaps you should consider changing jobs. Meanwhile, accept the situation you are in and don’t moan or complain. Life will be much more pleasant for you and those around you. 4. Make an effort to get along well with everyone, from your boss to the lowest rank employees. 5. Respect the “chain-of-command” and don’t go over anyone’s head. 6. If you’ve made a mistake, it it. Try not to do it again, and don’t make excuses of blame someone else for it. 7. Don’t engage in office politics or gossip, it will ruin your career. 8. Be polite: say “please,” thank you” and “yes, Mr. Pascual” or “”No, Sir”. Impoliteness and rudeness are not long tolerated. 9. Always address your superior in the last name until and unless you are told first names are preferred. When there are visitors, or outsiders, call your superior always in the last name with appropriate title. 10.Social business etiquette may differ in some aspects, so don’t expect your boos to stand up when you walk in, or to pull up a chair for you. 11.Don’t smoke, it hat’s one of your job regulations. 12.If coffee or snack is permitted at your desk, don’t let the dirty coffee cup or crumbs remain on your desk. 13.Never chew a gum in public, especially while working. 14.Be considerate to those who work around you. Work quietly, don’t slam drawers, don’t even talk in loud tone if others are trying to concentrate. 15.Never ask other employee how much they are making or earning . Salary is confidential. 16.Better to be a lender than a borrower. 17.Always keep in mind that when your boss criticizes you, it should not be taken as a personal attack, it is your professional performance that concerns him. 18.Keep your personal problems out of the office. 8

19.Keep your friends and family out of the office. It is not advisable for your friend and relatives to visit you at your place of employment during office hour. 20.Keep your personal telephone call out of the office. If someone calls, you can tactfully handle the situation by saying, “I’m sorry, we’re busy today, may I call you back this evening, or say just call me tonight at home.” Never use, therefore, the company telephone for personal calls except for emergency purpose. 21.Write your personal letters at home. 22.Keep your personal habit like drinking, sleeping and language private. 23.Don’t use the office as meeting place for your date. 24.Keep busy. Do something constructive for your employer. No employer wants to see and employee doing nothing. 25.Look pleasant while at work. Keep the expression of your face pleasant and receptive. 26.Do not argue with your boss, about the “right” way of doing things. No matter what you were taught, you are working for this employer and his way is the right way. You can make suggestions but do it in a tactful way. 27.If your employer is still at his desk at quitting time, ask him if he needs you before you leave. The extra few minutes not only extends a courtesy, but is a job insurance as well. 28.Don’t be habitual complainer. If some aspect of your work situation troubles you, discuss it privately with your supervisor or employer. 29.Never violate a confidence. Loyalty to your employer is your primary obligation. Do not criticize your company or your boss to your friends. If you cannot be loyal, you better find another job. 30.Welcome and help new employees. 31.Compliments in an office situation when sincerely meant are always a form of polite gestures like for the woman who has a new haircut or looks particularly nice, or a man who has worn a complete new attire for a change. 32.Dirty jokes, offensive jokes, green jokes must be used judiciously. Even a “clean” joke should be used only when you are quite sure your audience is receptive. 33.Don’t take more than the allowed time for your coffee break and lunch. This means, be back to the office as well as back at work at the end of the lunch and break period. 34.Never “make up” while on the job. This applies to nail cleaning, hair combing, as well as facial repairs. Be tactful, go to the powder room or lady’s room. 35.Maintain good attendance record. 36.Avoid the habit of borrowing from officemates and not being able to repay them as promised. You will violate confidence. 37.Always report to the office on time. It is a sign of professionalism. 38.Never be a gossiper. Also do not entertain gossips and intrigues in the office. Let the gossips stop in your desk, which means do not relay it to others. You can say to gossip bringer: “Baka naman hindi totoo. Let us very first. 39.Always do the best that you can in everything you do. It will give you a happy feeling of self-fulfillment and self-accomplishment. 40.Accept criticism. You should receive constructive criticism graciously and willingly. you can learn from your mistakes, and no one will criticize you unless he thinks you’re worth it. 9

41.Be polite and courteous at all times to every people in all levels you come in with. 42.Never be rude or indifferent to an outsider who visits your company. Even those who come to your office by mistake should be treated well. They can be prospective customer if you are able to give a good impression about your company. 43.Treat all customers and clients with concern and respect. they are the people giving good business to your company. In reality, they are the main source of income. The salary you get from your company come from your customers and clients. They deserve to be treated well by giving them good service. 44.Learn to listen to customers complain and help them solve their problems. In doing so, you are able to make other people happy which in return gives a good image to your company. 45.Consider every customer important. Give them good service at all times. Recognize the importance of others. Practice the golden rule. “Do not do unto others what you would not like others do unto you”. 46.A satisfied customer means a good business for your company. And good business means stable position for you. 47.. You are hired by the company to provide salable goods or services to its customer in order to achieve their further objective. You should be of help rather than a hindrance to the achievement to the company objectives. 48.Be cooperative. Cooperation makes even the hardest task very easy. 49.Avoid serious personal relationship with a married person. You will be creating a lot of trouble at the end. This kind of relationships does not usually last long. 50.. There is always room for improvements. Always strive to improve in every respect affecting your office career.

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