Loose Screws – Tornillos Sueltos: Sarcastic Poetry Ii - Poesias Sarcastica Ii 24328

Loose Screws – Tornillos Sueltos

Sarcastic Poetry II Poesias Sarcastica II

Janet Rosario BILINGUAL EDITION

Copyright © 2019 by Janet Rosario.

ISBN: Softcover 978-1-7960-6633-3 eBook 978-1-7960-6632-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only. Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 11/04/2019

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Contents

Dedication

Introduccion

Loose Screws

Witch sister fell out of the coo-coos nest?

The rocking of the empty cradle

Lovers Attestation

Slipped Away

Dozed off

A Toast

Judge Me

Who Cares?

The other woman

Mac “the ripper”

Your love my religion

Chronicles of the mistress

Temporary fantasy

Sugar drip

One step closer to leaving

Hard forgiving

Damn darling

Keep out!

The underhandedness

Facts that doesn’t justify

Speak up!

Life’s un-fair games

Hating on me

You’re “Jeannie” in a bottle

My Legacy

Where is home?

To the unsecure

Beautiful annoyance

Mother, my dearest mother

Hollow

Obsessive

As Time Turns

Keep Me Around

A Shout Out To All Spouses

What Hides Inside Me

Drowning

Dear Mama

Everlasting Love

Bottom Line

Atheist Lover

Swans Love

Unforgiving Seconds

Forever’s A Myth

My Dawns Of White Satin

The Ring

Seasonal Soulmate

Showboating A String

The Unsent Letter

Dear Date

Engraved Notes

Every Time, Anytime

My Dear Len

Just Say

My Euphoria

Let Him Go!

Some Roses

Never Enough

The Last 10 days

The Monster In Me

I Was Wrong

Show Me

Broken Wife

My Seven Wonders In The World

You Say You Love Me, But You Don’t

My Mirros Mirror

Do you Feel Me?

Do Upon Me

Yours

It’s Our Time

About The Author

The Ilustrator

PART TWO/PARTE DOS

Dedicacion

Introduccion

Tornillos Sueltos

Me Extrañaras

No Necesito Canciones

Semillita

Querida Mentira

A Tus Comentarios

El Loco De Contento

Ciega Perdida

Antes Que Nada

Que Porque Te Amo?

Lo Que Un Día Quise

Condenado

Cuál De Los Dos Mas Desdichado?

Mi Jibaro Moderno

Lucidez Silenciosa

Harta De Odio

Sentenciada

Que Si Aun Te Amo?

Tus Ojos

Encuentrame

Mil Y Una Excusas

Mi Lamento A Borinquén

Carta De Despedida

Tu voz

Perfectamente Imperfecto

La Guerra Eterna

La Santita Aburrida

Retorno

Tu Amor Mi Religion

Mi Odisea

Los Zapatos De Papa

Bendición Abuela

Quise Ser

Amame

Ingrato Concubino

El Amor También Se Muere

Alas Negras

Por Ti

No me conformo

El Ultimo Poema

Sobre la Autora

La Ilustradora

Dedication

To my best friend; my defender, my true love and my soul mate. Loving you completes me. DR. Lenny Tua Mendez, You have given me more happiness and tears of joy; than anyone can ask for. Thank you for making me happy again! Thank you for bringing me back to life! I Love You, Forever! JEANNIE

Introduccion

Dear readers:

Once again I thank you all for your . Please keep in mind that even if some of my writings are from personal experiences, my creativity and imagination were written with no intentions to hurt, offend, disrespect, or harm any group of individuals. All names are fictitious. Some of the information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable… maybe. Accuracy however is another thing. If anyone is offended by any content herein… get over it! I will not apologize. God bless the freedom of speech. People who write or email me because I made a spelling error or because my perspectives are wrong and theirs are right… Don’t bother! Please do not waste your time.

Enjoy!

Loose Screws

I grew very tired and at times very weak on the path, but I held onto my bag tightly and kept walking never looking back. Until one day a few people said: “let me help you with that”. When I handed them over my bag they complained that it was too heavy, that it was too bad. What’s in it? They would always ask and I would always explain. It’s my bag of loose screws and with it carries all of my pain. A screw that fell off me every time I feverishly, unselfishly and blindly gave a piece of me and of my soul to someone or something I truly believed in and was let down. Making a promise to myself that someday I would fix myself back together again or that maybe someday God would send me the hero I’ve waited for so long. For what? What would you gain? They continued to ask. To help me reach the places I could not reach and slay, but to finally be just one solid piece again. I hopelessly carry my loose screws with me not giving up on my dreams no matter how hard or crazy things get. I still hold on to whatever I got left. Waiting and searching for that day to come, they are heavy and quite a burden but they helped me to overcome… Why don’t you just let it go? They continue to criticize. I will never let go of who I am or who I was. I can only get better. So I hang on a bit longer. I give thanks for all the good and the bad because like the saying goes: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” Don’t worry about my loose screws. Worry about your own, that while you sit there and judge others you neglect to see as yours fall off on its own. I may be broken with a few loose screws but I stay true to myself and my loved ones. I have a heart of gold. And when I love, I love hard but I know when to let go. There is no space for hate in this precious old soul, but I know that someday… just one day I’ll get to be the whole person I used to love to be, And not a broken me. Believe in me and you’ll see. I am who I am. There is only one me.

Witch sister fell out of the coo-coos nest?

I have a few sisters no need to say their names. Not perfect; in fact some are quite insane. I love them with all my heart even if I don’t see them every day, even if they’ve hurt me beyond repair, even if they take a loan from me and never pay. Years can go by and maybe still no phone calls, years can go by and maybe not even a post card. I don’t care if they “ratted” me out in the past. I don’t care if they’ve cheated on me with an ex., don’t care if they with me were never fair. Don’t care if I can’t get them to call or text. I can be mad as hell at them and criticize them or curse them out behind their backs but that’s just me VENTING! No one else has that right; no one else can do that! So if you have a problem with one of my sisters you better back the fuck off you better not talk bad about them in front of me; you better just shut the fuck up! My sisters will always be my sister. We are bonded by blood. We are bonded for life. I don’t care who she is; I don’t care who she was; don’t judge!!

The rocking of the empty cradle

I didn’t leave the window open nor the front or back door ajar. Why would your empty cradle rocking if you never have been in my arms? My imagination gets the best of me I swear I can also hear you crying. The thought of you in that metal casket in that dark Clinic lying lifeless has killed my soul, I’m dying. Your presence in my womb caught me by surprise, so many years trying to conceive and there you were unannounced. But like many other times my test was positive only because a cancer had the best of me. I didn’t think it was really you or why you baby Jenny Mia had chosen me. Baby cried and so did I but I never got to hear her. Baby cried and so did I but I never got to meet her. Baby died not in my arms instead she ed unnoticed. My baby died and so did I and daddy never knew her. I picture you and your little lovely wings flying up above us. I know one day we’ll finally meet and I will rock you in my arms forever. Up in heaven you await for us, then no more rocking an empty cradle. You were alive and i thought you were well, never that you were fragile. I often wonder if you’re okay and if they sing you lullabies just as I would have done for you, oh, if only you were with us Mommy and Daddy loves you. I still that Dreadful morning I woke up feeling sick. But instead I didn’t think that anything was wrong and headed out to work. I’m ashamed to have felt the way I did thinking I wasn’t touchable. Never would have imagined that all my pain and suffering you had also felt it. Uncle Norris bared Witness to your lovely Beating Heart. Losing you was uncalled for and unnecessary but you never had a chance. Grandma knew it and expected for you to give her all your glory. There was no consolation for your loss was so unbarring. Your presence in me caught me by surprise and you dying left my heart breaking and unprepared. They said I was the strongest person they knew but it’s not true

losing you left me half dead. My baby cried and so did I but I was too busy to notice, my Jenny died and so did I, I never got to hold her. My baby cried and then she died in the horrendous dreadful silence. My baby died. Oh, baby why? Why did you unnoticed? Will you ever forgive me if I was really at fault? Because I relived the time thinking to find where I might of messed up. Forgive me my baby; forgive me Jenny Mia, because I can’t forgive myself.

Lovers Attestation

I don’t have a ring to give you but I do have this poem and I present this to you as a promise that you will never have to face the world alone.

You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You’re beautiful heart and mind inspire me to be the best person I can be.

I love you for eternity. I vow to love you as you are and not how I may want you to be and to grow old by your side. What else can I say that I haven’t already said? I am not rich.

Everything that I have and everything that I am belonged to you long before today. I will be yours forever; I will follow you anywhere you go and anywhere you need me to.

I promise to be your biggest fan and partner-in-crime and that I will love you faithfully and unconditionally throughout difficult and easy times. Whatever may come, I do.

I am not perfect but I promise to always be there and not only to listen for as long as it takes for you to feel heard but to hear your advice even if I don’t always take it.

I promise not only to be honest but to trust in your arms. To leave the score chart

behind even if I’m winning. I promise to take care of your kind heart

and to always love you with all of mine.

To always protect you from harm; to stand with you against your troubles and to look to you when I need protection. You are loved more than any metaphor can try to express.

I will never forget this privilege no matter how many years of our lives go by, I am so happy to be able to tell you… I do, I will and always will, love you.

Slipped Away

She used to think I was a god. She used to think I was cool. She used to ask me anything and tell me everything that was in her mind when it came to. She used to play with me every day; we would sing, dance and laugh, but then life took its toll upon her. It’s all gone; they’re only great memories of the past. I don’t recall the day, or the moment Mother Nature took its course. I don’t what happened or what could have separated us, all I feel is a terrible remorse. Maybe I could have done more for her or maybe I should have done less or who knows maybe she would have turned out just the same, regardless. It was so easy to see her happy and make her laugh. I’ve truly enjoyed and cherish every moment with her that I ever had. When the time came to discipline her, I was never weak. I guess she resented me for that, guess when was the last time I spoke to her? It’s been almost 10 weeks! My Girl’s all grown up now. I guess she doesn’t really need me.

I’d give anything to hear her say: “mama I miss you” “I love you” without begging her please. I don’t treating my mom like that in any form, shape or way. Will she grow up and continue to ignore me like this? It’s really hard to say. Some people say it’s normal and that with time she will eventually come thru. I don’t think we’ll have enough time for that, for I’m sure, I’ll be gone soon. I hope she re me not only when the holidays come. But also when it’s time to fight battles out there all on her own. I have taught her to be tough, but gentile keeping an open heart. I taught her to be empathetic but not to the extent of losing herself. I taught her not to cry in front of others and “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I taught well within her means and to understand her freakish moods. I’ve taught her to lie when best fits the commotion, and to swear like a “sailor” going down a sunken ship with no emotions. No one will ever mess with her heart. As you sow, so shall you reap? Don’t take shit sitting down.

Defend yourself and your beliefs. Yes, I’ve created a great warrior, no doubt about that, I shouldn’t complain. She’s a great girl, and forever my baby girl. I know she’ll be okay. I feel like she slipped away. Way too quickly from my arms. I love you baby girl. I am sorry I can’t regress time. But keep in mind all my lessons and keep me close to your heart. This way you can feel that were never that far apart. For as time goes by, so will l, but I’ll be watching from above.

Dozed off

As he’s lying asleep,

I stare at him attempting to memorize

every nuke, cranny, birthmark

and scar upon his skin.

I ire his peaceful manner of slumber.

He is happy

and so am I.

I count the seconds between

every breath he takes.

And even the beats

of his heart per minute.

He’s amazing.

I love him so much.

The smell of his fresh cleaned skin,

the scent of his clean brushed hair and the

warmth of his whole body next to mine

Make me feel so lucky

to be alive

and such honor to call him mine.

A Toast

To the voice I never heard.

The ring that never rang,

the hug I never felt and the visit that never came…

To the love that never really loved me

and the letter that never came.

To the message that was never sent

and the words that were never said…

To the hurt that was never meant,

the scar that never healed,

the useless points that were never made and the promise that was never kept…

To the deal that was broken and to the pain that never went away,

for the time wasted before me

and for the trip that never took place…

To the dreams that never happened, the nightmares that never stopped. To changes that weren’t possible. I really thank you all…

A toast to the good, the bad and the ugly, and all the people I have met ….

A toast instead of a “fuck you” because of you I am who I am.

Judge Me

Judge me. I don’t care…. You never lived my life. And you can never walk in my shoes. Forgive me but I am tired of moving this pen… I’m tired of pushing computer buttons. I’m tired of taking shit in. Mostly tired about it; doing nothing. It’s not okay to cry, that doesn’t solve anything. I can’t change things, I can’t change anybody. It is what it is. Life without me will continue. I didn’t expect so much pain, my mother never warned me. Life is for champions. You have to be strong to live it. I in the other hand am too weak, The struggle over did me. I closed the cap on my pen and threw away the notebook. I turned off my PC and turned off my emotions. I gave up everything and anything that was ever dear to me. Blame me, judge me and or just plain hate me. I take full responsibility!

Who Cares?

I try not to think of you.

You don’t deserve me or my tears.

I can’t turn on the radio,

having to face the contents of my fears.

Everything reminds me of us;

every place, every person, every stare.

It just doesn’t seem fair to me

that you’d be so near and unaware.

The effects of your love

Bleeds right through me

Do you know or even care?

The effects of our love,

Can you feel me?

I’m right here

and you’re right there.

It just doesn’t seem fair…

.. But then who cares?

The other woman

Wait, hold up! Who’s “The other woman”? It is not I. For I have had the privilege to have met him first. Forever young; I may have not been his first practice, but I was his first true love. This heart has beat upon his chest for many years. These hands have had the luxury to memorize every inch of his body. These lips have given him life and love throughout all these torturing years. Even if she won the title of Mrs. He’s always crawled back to me. And I know and feel that he truly loves me so. I refuse to live in this so-called soap opera. I want my life back. Destiny has not been fair to me. I stood my ground and walked away. I gave him space. I gave them space. In hopes that he’d open his eyes and realized that his only true happiness is with me. But he never gave me the chance to show him our potential. He never gave me the benefit of the doubt. So it doesn’t matter how many times we come back to each other, only he had the power to make me, take me then break me. I am not the other woman she is. He is my life my treasure my love. I gained the title of mistress. While she won as the wife (for now). But I won the true essence of his heart and soul. All she got was a lie. Her time is temporary. While my time will forever be endless, timeless and everlasting. She is the other woman, for it is not I.

Mac “the ripper”

Slish, slash, he rips me up bad.

He tears me apart in the back, in the front.

Slice after slice, to him it feels nice.

As for me I mustn’t complain so I

Just lay there to die.

Tears of ice and blood like snow

He penetrates me deep like with metal below.

He leaves the window open

and the deadly winter winds,

Caress me like demons under his will.

Many doors open but nowhere to run.

The chains are very heavy

The blisters have turned to blood.

I don’t feel sorry for myself.

In fact I think I deserve it.

I am in hell on Earth

for I am the writer of my own story.

From where I stand

I can see the old oak tree,

staring back at me, calling out for me.

Its branches look like mother’s arms

so peaceful and comforting.

I long to be with Daddy now

And leave the pain behind me.

Your love my religion

I love worshipping you all night,

Cause, that’s what I do every time I make love to you.

Your skin is my altar and your love is my religion.

Amen!

Chronicles of the mistress

I could be giving my heart to someone who indulges me in his whole life, not just on the Shady Side lines. But I truly love him. When I try to leave, his love ropes me back in. He may manipulate me with his tears, love letters, roses, heartwrenching voice messages, texts and empty promises. But, I let him. But oh, how can I not indulge in his strong arms and heavenly kisses? He is everything to me. I belong to him. Deep down inside the situation makes me miserable but I can’t breathe when we’re apart. His existence is my life . I am alive because of him and when life was mortally miserable; I survived to find him and be by his side again because only he made things better, only his love made sense to me. I’d love him to make the right choice without pressure. Questioning him only upsets him so I hide the pain and I try not to complain as I struggle with the duplicity of the affair. Yes, I start to feel guilty subconsciously developing several anxiety related conditions. But one look into his haunting eyes I become hypnotized as I am binded to his soul. That confident intelligent woman disappears. I don’t recognize the woman I’ve become. I feel trapped. I am truly, madly, deeply in love with him and I cannot be with anyone else. A part of me dies every time I compromise and go back to him when he says he can’t live without me. I want… I need to believe that! I as the mistress have become very humble. I know that I am The “Other Woman”. So I practice my manners. Everything else that I get from him is as a result of the pleasures I provide in the bedroom coupled with lots of seduction; So they say! Seduction has actually taught me as a mistress that I should apologize even if I am not wrong. Wouldn’t want to disappoint him, wouldn’t want him to leave for something Petty. His decisions have made me insecure. I speak softly to him reassuring him things will be okay. I boost his ego and I

make him feel good about himself. I sweet-talk, charming the man out of his pants. Why? Because I loved him for years, and I realized it too late. I should have given him that chance when he asked me to be with him the first time, but honestly, come to think about it… he was never free!! Every time I find him he was always taken. I don’t care anymore and I don’t want to give him up anymore. I love him too much. I relinquish my free will and I’m actually fine with that. I know he will always love his wife no matter how great I am. He won’t make me a priority for I am only on the sidelines of his life not the core. Will he ever finally it he cannot leave his wife? I don’t know at this point and I don’t care. Just let me be; let me be happy! They say that wives are like water needed every day to sustain the well-being of the family, financial and social status. Hey, I can do that too if he’d only give me the chance. Nothing turns a man off more than a wife who thinks she owns him. Does his wife know that marriage is not a burglar proofing device? NO!. She doesn’t even treat him right. They say: “Complacency is inhibited when a woman is too comfortable with her man.” It’s the kind of comfort that borders on disrespect. I respect his every wish. I fulfill his fantasies. I love him more than anyone else in this world. But I will never be his number one? Will I ever be enough or worthy to his priorities instead of being his mistress? Yes… no…maybe so… who knows! But if that’s what it takes to be with him forever, I have made peace with this. It is what it is. I don’t want to lose him again. So yes… I will be criticized, judged and condemned by people who fail to realize that it is possible that a man can love more than one woman in different levels of ways. “Judgment day” has already commenced. I have already lost my real name. Now they call me the whore, a bitch or his slut. They remind me that I have no rights to anything; that I am nothing more than a dirty secret. They asked me if I feel lonely as he spoiled his families on holidays while I stay home alone. They say this is a commitment that will never materialize. “You can’t develop

true intimacy with someone who’s living a lie.” ‘You’ll wait in vain for years hoping for a day that will never come.” “He wants sex, you want love.” “This isn’t love.” “If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you too.” “The sex maybe steamy but it’s totally inconsistent. He requires an enormous amount of attention to feel good about himself because he knows he’s doing wrong.” “You will always have to wait to fit into his schedule.” “He will reinforce how much he is in love with you from the distance and time apart telling you that he will tell his wife soon, so you stay hiding your life from your family and friends.” “Men cheat in different ways before they become comfortable with full fledge Affair.” “You’re expendable, she is not.” I have been accused of having low self-esteem. They say I don’t respect myself. I don’t care what you all think of it, this is my life. He is my world. It’s my prerogative to stay and/or keep waiting. She may make the bed, but I mess it up. She may wash and iron his clothes, but I will dirty him up. She might cook for him, but I serve him dessert. She might be with him every day, but I get the best ion from him and he will never get tired of me. Just as I accepted the fact that she will always remain, she might as well accept the fact that I am here to stay. I am the mistress and just like her, I am his woman “For Better or For Worse”. “In the good and the bad”; I am patient, for she has no clue that I exist yet. But if she ever finds out I will gladly stand my ground. She doesn’t know that we are in a silent war and that love is our battlefield. This Warrior will fight for his love until I have won. I don’t give up easily. And “May the best bitch win.”

Temporary fantasy

All it took was just one bump

and he saw right through me.

Now, he writes, he calls

and comes right to me.

With just one look,

one touch or one word…

I’m under his command,

his will and his world.

I am not naive,

oblivious or stupid.

I don’t have to pretend,

We all know who he really is.

So let me live this bliss;

this love and this insanity.

Do call it what you want, while

I’ll enjoy this temporary fantasy.

Sugar drip

My sugar daddy pays so sweet. He loves Indulge and slaves for me. Anything I need, I like or I want, is in my hands as fast as a blink of an eye. This job isn’t easy. I put in lots of time. Ig u want my “love” make sure that I fine. Gucci. Versace. Coach or Tous. Dolce & Gabbana, Michael Kors and Dior. You’re not done yet fulfilling my wish list. Sugar Baby won’t budge unless it’s dealt with. You’re in no hurry and I’m always in a rush… Baby, did you think I was in this relationship for love?

One step closer to leaving

The best thing in the world is to hear you say that you love me… the worse thing would be that you don’t trust me. This relationship wouldn’t be worth keeping if you’re love is constantly doubting. Your insecurities make you ugly and your doubts make me look ruthless. Make up your mind about yourself, your making me look stupid. Do us both a favor and close the door behind you… You’re getting obsessed over little things that keep us from being happy. Your one step closer to losing it and I’m one step closer to leaving you. Because, and I quote “I never said: never”! I can’t compete with your demons, either you let go of your insecurities or I’ll let go forever.

Hard forgiving

Get over it. It’s over.

It’s too hard to forgive you.

What else do you want from me?

You never made amends for the other

7 times you made the same mistake.

Why do you get upset

when I tell you that I don’t trust you?

Your reverse psychology

Won’t work again with me.

Quit the games, you’re only fooling yourself.

I’m out, and you’re dead to me.

You killed me when you broke your promises

and you killed me when you continued to lie.

Unappreciative of the first time I forgave you.

Don’t act like you care. Lesson learned.

I moved on.

Damn darling

When you crossed my attention

I was dying to meet you.

When we met, I died for your kiss.

When you kissed me I was dying to be yours.

So you took me and promised it be forever.

Unexpectedly it was over and all promises were stolen.

You hid your presences and love for me;

and left me completely broken.

When the days turned dark I was dying to see you again

But you deceived me and tore my heart.

I was dying inside and needed you as a friend

But you laughed and ridiculed me to the end.

I was afraid to continue life without you.

You were my consultant, so you said:

I don’t care. And stated I wasn’t important.

Darling if at once I was dying for you, now I die to get rid of you.

You realize it was a mistake. You’ll never be a man just a complete fake!

Now you’re dying to come back cause another’s in my bed.

I’m no longer dying, my love. There’s nothing to be said.

So now my wish for you instead….

Darling, Damn Darling, Drop Dead!

Keep out!

Never underestimate me that would be your biggest mistake. If you don’t like what I do, if you don’t like who I am and if you don’t like whom I’m with then just keep away from me. I owe no one anything and I owe no one any explanations. If I offend you or if you do not agree with what I write or do, with what I say or with what I believe in then keep out of my life. How can u say you love me today than hate me tomorrow? I don’t need your selfish actions against me. Feed that to the ones with such low self-esteem that follow your ignorant opinions. If you can’t be optimistic keep away, if you can’t be loyal, go your way and if you can’t keep an open mind and or be neutral…. Keep out of my life! I don’t need that type of garbage or drama in my life. If you’re bipolar, get help! You all should know me by now. I will not be bothered again with petty meaningless turnovers by thoughtless, selfish and egotistical moran’s; that hate knowledge and love being locked away in the dark drowning in their ignorance. Educate yourselves or keep away from me, keep away from my page, keep away from my life, period. If I am too much for you… KEEP OUT!!

The underhandedness

After the “incident” I kept to myself,

Never gave in completely.

I was tired and afraid that if I did I would only end up getting hurt again.

And I was right. Just when I was about

Completely opened you broke my heart.

Again; how do we recover? We don’t.

Because; nothing will ever be the same.

Secretive or dishonest behavior

can be played by two. With me as your opponent;

Be prepared to lose.

Facts that doesn’t justify

To hold you for a second or to just be able to look into your eyes, and feel you beside me as you lie with me at night. To hear your voice speaking or laughing from a far and see how different you react with them all. To see you stare for hours at your phone or at the TV… Missing all or any chance to be or get better with me. Good or bad moments that happen and us by. Those moments were treasures with you by my side. How can I miss you? I got you right here! To you I’m invisible; to you I’m “not there” Why do we argue as though we hate each other? Then why do we make love with such ion and such endeavor? The facts are facts whether good or bad, Whether you like it or not or whether it makes us look bad. You need not make excuses and I need not to justify; The fact that year’s has put a toll on to us or that maybe you’ve grown tired by my side.

Speak up!

Speak to me… I want to hear you. Tell me all your dreams, no matter how crazy or how impossible you think they may seem. I want to hear you dream. Talk to me… I want to hear your voice Reminisce about your mom and the good old days. It’s okay if I’ve heard them all already. I need to hear your voice. Sing to me… or maybe not to me, I love to hear you sing. You sound alive and happy and that fulfills me.

I die to hear you sing. Propose to me… I want to analyze your propositions. Your decisions are important to me. I need to understand how your beautiful mind thinks. You are important to me. Talk to me… I need to hear you talk. Tell me what I am doing wrong. It’s never my intention to hurt you. Don’t stay quiet if you know we need to talk. Speak to me, darling! I need to hear you speak! Please no more silence on the dinner table, in the car or lying in bed with me. Speak up and let me hear you breathing. Come closer to hear your heart beating. Keep me in your arms all night,

together dreaming. And reassure me that I’m the only one you’ll forever be needing.

Life’s un-fair games

I loved you for years, but you didn’t love me back, at least not the same way. So when we parted, and even if it hurted me I had to go away. The distance didn’t sweeten u up, no not just one bit. You kept killing me with your actions, your words and your arrogance. A hero came to rescue me; at least that’s what I thought. I felt alive and happy again, but it didn’t last that long. So he’s no longer here today

he also played me for a fool. I was vulnerable, it hurted bad and I go back thinking about you. I hear the anger in your words when you speak to me you treat me like dirt. Hear I am wondering why do you hate me? You left me! Quit lingering, and making me feel guilty. It’s not my fault that you can’t live with your filthy little secrets. Stop the calls, please let me go don’t you ever think of me; because I arose up after the fall long before you thought you ruined me.

Hating on me

You Said I was great… Now you say I was crazy. That I was very hard working; now you say I was just plain lazy.

You said I was beautiful… Now you say I was disgusting. That I was honest now you say I wasn’t worth trusting.

You said I was smart… Now you say I was stupid. That when I was with you, I wasn’t quite lucid.

From all these lies, there was only one truth. That my biggest mistake

was ever being with you.

So you can keep talking about the one you said you once loved you’re making yourself look bad it only shows remorse.

Remorse for what? You have asked in denial. You walk among others As if you were in trial.

It hurts you to see now how well I’m really doing. That without you I’m better and my dreams, I’m pursuing.

So hate on me all you want. With all you’re might with all your soul.

Hate on me very hard. You still love me and it shows!

You’re “Jeannie” in a bottle

Tell me what you want motherfucker, I can do this all day. What do you need tonight? A girlfriend, a wife, a mistress or a slave? I’ll give you three wishes or maybe more but that depends. 28 years in your life and were still nothing but friends. What’s it gonna take so you can finally fucken see. You will never be happy living without being with me. I’m growing tired and I’m growing too old. When are you gonna grow balls to accept me as your own? Being your genie in a bottle is getting to frustrating. Why can’t you for once be my one and only prince charming? I’ve seen you in every stage there is in life to understand… you will always be a coward not a man to take that stand. So don’t judge me, God damn it, if I finally give up. It’s been almost three decades and frankly that’s enough. Its kills me to look into your eyes and see; that there will never be a place in your true heart for me.

My Legacy

Now that I am older there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the legacies I’ll leave behind when I die. I would like to think that I have left a positive imprint on the world not only to my children; And I would love for my legacy to live through them and throughout the years ahead upon their children. I leave behind my legacy of pure love and respect; To know that love is unconditional and that you have to love yourself first in order to love others. To respect other people’s opinions, beliefs and self being. It’s okay to be different,

that’s what makes us unique. I leave behind a legacy of kindness and Truth. Do to others as you would have them do to you. I have taught my family to be honest and truthful. To work with integrity, ing the morals and values they were brought up with. I leave behind a legacy of continuous education; because knowledge is the key to everything. It is power. It’s what makes visual thinking tangible; and helps us grow both on a personal as well as academic level. I leave behind a great deal of artistic talent Such as singing, writing,

drawing and to put ion into anything within our grasp; But most importantly in living life to its fullest and to live life day by day as if it were the last. I leave behind my pain and suffering, my thoughts and apologies, my love and my words on to paper. In hopes that they’ll me and know that they were loved by yours truly, With all my heart and all my soul for all eternity. My children… it on.

Where is home?

I feel like I’ve been moving all my life, places to places, house to house. This face has seen over 2 million people’s faces, smiles and frowns.

This heart has been broken over and over again, time through time, every time I have to leave another place, Another house, another family member or other friends behind.

It’s no wonder I’m so sentimental and for that I’ve been condemned. I’ve learned to celebrate the little things; to cherish and enjoy the people I have met.

I cherish the people in my life because I don’t know how long they’ll be close to me. I never say goodbye in hopes that soon I’ll be seeing them again in a few years.

It has gotten to the point where I have found myself falling in and out of depression leaving me so weak. This type of life had me feeling lost, lonely, insecure and unstable among other things.

I battled with it every day, until I came to realize that to call it home you don’t have to be stuck in just one place.

They say that: “home is a place you grow up wanting to leave and grow old wanting to get back to.”

“That our feet may leave the place or the people but in our hearts we will hang on to them..”

“It’s not where you live, but where they understand you.” “It’s where you are loved whether you are constantly traveling.”

I miss my mom and dad.

I miss my siblings too. I miss my hometown and the neighbors and friends I grew up with back in school.

“As long as you have love you got everything you need.” And if you ever feel lonely just reach out to me.

So when you find yourself asking: Where is home? Or “Will I ever find a home in this world or a world to call my home”, you are not alone.

Home is where your heart is. Home is what you make of it. Home is also being with the one you love and feeling safe with.

To the unsecure

So, you got your poor heart broken in the past?? Boo fucken hoo!! Wipe them damn tears off your face and get over it!!! And if you can’t then don’t go getting yourself in another relationship and blaming the new guy over shit your ex did to you!! Don’t be over reacting when the dude wants to go out with his friends, thinking he’s out doing shit they’ve done to you!! That’s not cool. Grow the fuck up! Not everyone’s the same! You don’t look pretty coming off as a broken person. Men don’t respect insecure women and they sure don’t find attractive the drama you be giving on that you’ve been hurt in the past. Work on your issues and mature the fuck up!!! Life goes on. And no hurt can last 100 years!

Beautiful annoyance

You’re cold hands or feet under the covers.

Your snoring and constant toss and turns in the bed.

The misplaced keys or something important.

The toothpaste squished in the middle and the hair brush never in its place.

Wet floor’s after a shower or a shave.

The toilet seat left up, discovered at 2 am a little too late sometimes forcing me to bathe all over again.

These are the little things that remind me every day that I am blessed to have you with me.

Luckily your love, dedication and sweet handling towards me sur all the beautiful annoying things I encounter with you day by day. Baby I’m no peach! So it’s okay.

If there ever is a day that I don’t have you I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. You have become a part of me and my ways. Honey, all I want to say is that I love you and your beautiful annoyances make me feel alive and witty every day.

Mother, my dearest mother

The constant criticism of my mother,

in the early stages of my life,

has caused me to “repent” and realize

how I should “really” run my life.

The burns and the whippings

and the scars in my heart,

tell the tale of deep sorrow…

T’was my broken childhood

with mother by my side.

It wasn’t till many years later

that I’d come to realize;

Mommy was hurt too,

confused and lost

in her own dark mind.

Mother come and hug me.

Kiss my forehead and hold me tight.

Mother I know you love me.

Please, no more arguing,

no more fights!

Mommy dearest, please just stop

because you know I’m right.

Deep down inside it hurts

But there’s nowhere else to hide.

Mother cannot stay…

My mommy ed away.

Tulips were her favorite.

I miss her every day.

I still can’t sleep at night

wondering all the time;

where is mother and

did she love me?

And why did she hurt me

all those times?

Hollow

One of the ugliest feelings in the world is to feel so hollow, as though you are walking all alone in this world; as though you’re fighting battles all alone. No army of friends or family to pick you up or mend your broken wing. Just a person coming in and out of people’s lives. Being used however people seem fit. Being a convenience when needed and an annoyance when not thought of. God forbid if I even complain, they’ll swear I’m overreacting. No one ever has time to measure consequences. No one ever has time to be empathic. No one ever re a person for their positive qualities it’s only the negative that they’ll refer you as. I hope one day someone will change my mind and give me hope for humanity as I walk alone as usual with a heavy burden in my heart… One the ugliest feeling in the world is to feel so hollow.

Obsessive

Do I love you? I don’t know,

but I miss you like crazy.

I want to have you whenever I want

and how ever I want.

Pay attention to me!

You won’t be sorry

but then again you might.

I know I interrupt your mind,

and keep you guessing my next move.

You shouldn’t have hurt me,

now it’s my turn.

Why complain about the monster

that you’ve created?

Why should I waste my time

keeping tabs on you?

Why should I see you happy?

when you have made me miserable.

I want to see you fall,

Just to see if you hurt and bleed like me.

Run boy, run!

Soon you’ll know what it feels to be me!

Deeply interrupted, misunderstood and depressive!

Because of you, OBSESSIVE!

As Time Turns

Hey listen, please don’t yell at me. Have patience for time has gotten the very best of me. Even though; I really try my hardest to fight the inevitable disability of growing old. I’m sorry I am not who I used to be. Now it’s hard for me to perform a daily task that I used to take for granted and that hurts me dearly. My ions were my hands. It was the greatest part of me. With these hands I’ve experienced many blessings and one of them was hugging you. Maybe I can’t hold you like I used to, but I can still feel you and embrace the warmth and love we have for each other. Maybe I can’t hurry like I used to, but I can still get to you and be there where you need me when you need me the most. Maybe I keep repeating the same stories over and over again or maybe my memory fails me from time to time but what’s for certain is that I will always love you. Don’t give up on me because I seem fragile or if all of a sudden I seem to be an obstacle to you and your time. I never gave up on you nor will I ever will. Love, mom

Keep Me Around

If you still love me, Please show me that you still want me around…

A Shout Out To All Spouses

If you’re married why are you looking elsewhere? Why should you care to seek acceptance in others? You should be worrying only about what your partner thinks of you. Marriage is a sacred thing. If you’re not going to be faithful get divorced or don’t get married at all. If you’re not feeling the same way you did like before; seek help or get creative. Hold on to the good. When something bad happens grow from the experience and move forwards. Don’t stay stuck in the past. Learn to forgive, forget and move on. Don’t hold grudges against your partner. No one is perfect. Take time to communicate and explain exactly how you feel. Teach each other with patience. If you want to feel beautiful, get up, get dress, put some make-up on or do whatever it takes to make yourself feel good again. Compliment your spouse. Hug your spouse every day. My Doctor says: “four hugs a day keeps the doctor away” and it actually works. Just because you’ve been with this person for so much time doesn’t mean you don’t have to take care of your image or your hygiene. to bathe every day and brush your teeth go to a dentist at least once a year! Always be clean if engaging in intimacy. Use deodorant, perfume or cologne once in a while. All these little things are very important to maintain a healthy love life. We seem to take those things for granted. Take care of yourself, your health, body and appearance. Obviously these are the things that it takes to keep the person you love interested in you. It’ll keep them happy and still wanting to be with you. Stop disrespecting your spouse!! Stop using words that hurt. Stop with the mean jokes, they may seem funny at first but then it will end up hurting the relationship. If you have a bad habit of cursing while arguing- Stop it!! Stop it soon! That will also end up killing the relationship as well. Use words of encouragement. Use words that can heal. Try to keep positive vibes with positive attitudes. Never believe what you hear in the streets and believe only half of what your

eyes see. nobody’s perfect and that includes you!!

What Hides Inside Me

I have my sadness… maybe no one cares to know them or maybe no one cares to understand them so I choose to keep it locked inside me. But it follows me everywhere. This horrible depression that comes and goes there isn’t a day that I don’t feel it lurking. What do you do when you’re all cried out, but it still hurts and you want to cry out loud but nothing comes out so you just hurt in side and maybe die a little more each day that goes by? I wonder when it will stop. When will I finally get justice in this life? I wonder when the pain will go away or at least settle. How come I can’t just forget and finally be truly happy? How come my life has never been anything close to normal? But then what is normal anyways? I guess I’ll never know. I believe that I’ve been through all the kinds of tragedies in my life; but people say that’s no excuse so… You will see me laugh. You will see me singing and smiling. I will act as nothing is bothering me. If you need me I’ll be there just call me. I know that life wasn’t meant to be fair. If you only knew the things that kill me slowly deep inside me… maybe… just maybe you’d care.

Drowning

“She can’t swim any longer, nor keep holding her breath any further.” “She’s been trying so hard, but the waves are slowly pulling her under.”

Dear Mama

Dear mama:

I know you think I’m all right. I know you think I can handle anything but the truth is that sometimes I feel I might not be good enough. Don’t give up on me. I might make a few mistakes along the way. But as long as I got your love and understanding, I’m sure I’ll find a way. Mama, I know I don’t call you as much as I like to. But don’t you ever think that you’re not on my mind. I carry you and all your wise words in my heart. Mama, I miss you very much, I wish we can see each other more often. You are an amazing woman. I hope someday I can be as as irable and respected as you are. Mama, always that no matter the distance or how busy I may seem, you are always thought of and I love you..

Everlasting Love

I want an everlasting relationship with the person I choose to be with… It’s a pity to see how couples take LOVE for granted. And it breaks my heart to see nowadays how easy they give up and walk away. If you take my hand and walk beside me there wouldn’t be anything that we couldn’t accomplish. I would be the wind beneath your wings; I’d be the light in your darkest hours and the drug to cure all your pain and worries. I will be your best friend, your lover and defender, your partner in crime, your “ride to die girl” and thru it all before respect and honor… Loyal till our very last breath together… After all what is the meaning of life If not Love and Family?

Bottom Line

He came along one day…

What day? Long ago, who cares?

What he’d say? He said: “yes”.

And with his presences I was blessed.

Till this day he lingers. No need for rings on any fingers, just lust or love, who cares?

He takes me “here” and out of “there”

But keeping us well aware…

To fall in love- BEWARE!!

I’m down for him any day, any time, any way… Bottom line?

He takes my breath away… I’d like him to stay.

Atheist Lover

Help me to not give up hope on us and I’ll help you understand; that every time you say that you don’t believe in God you kill our chances to “come back”.

I need you to believe in us. And that our love is eternal. But if you don’t believe in reincarnation, then to me this life is the inferno.

I need you to believe that if this is our only life… the time is now to be together. Forget everyone else and forget the past doubts that have kept us away since forever.

There is a higher power that has led us to fall in love and meet. That higher power has millions of names, God is

one of them; don’t you agree?

I’m so grateful that he has led me to you and he has led you to me… it isn’t a coincidence that we keep finding our way back together, can’t you see?

My dear atheist love, my love and my endeavor… is he the real problem here? Or is just that you have given up on us all together and used your lack of faith to break us up forever?

Swans Love

I’d like to grow old with you. I can close my eyes and see us like that. But I know I might have to grow old alone, without you. I hope I can make it till then, but I might not be strong enough. This life has been a long bumpy road. I was hoping to retire by your side. You were my main reason to keep going. I still haven’t learned to continue without your presence before me. Some days are better than others. New strangers seem to have something that reminds me of you. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, or miss you. I still your scent and I still dream with you every other night. Sometimes I swear I can hear you calling out to me or saying: “Relax”, because that’s what you used to tell me when my anxiety levels went up due to stress at work. I really miss that. Did you know that a swan’s love for their partner is so deep that they mate for Life? They say that they are creatures of myth that only sing when they are dying. One partner for their entire life if they’re true love dies they could in fact die of heartbreak. The swan, just as our love symbolizes grace and beauty on many levels. And it is associated with true love, music and poetry. And that’s exactly how I feel . You are the music of my life; my beautiful melody, the perfect form, rhythm and harmony. And your loving inspires a million poems. I love you so much my dear. Missing you ignite such excruciating pain. So bad it hurts to breathe. Tonight I sing my last song. I could not make peace with your absence. Until we meet again, as human beings or has swans; in hopes to find that this time I would be finally enough for you. Only yours and you’re happily ever after as kindred spirits in the after time. I know I would be okay but only with you by my side. I don’t see it any other way. Forgive my ignorance. I don’t understand why I can’t live without you. I’ve tried so many times to forget you but I’m tied to you. I can’t explain it. All I know is that I will always love you and that’s for real. I belong to you. And our separation equals a meaningless life.

Unforgiving Seconds

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…10, 30, and 60…tuff luck! Say’s the unforgiving toucher of the seconds on the clock. Times up. I lost. It’s real… It sucks! Bitch, makes a mockery of my broken beating heart. 1 hour, 2 hours, 1 day, 5 years. It’s a horrible feeling living in fear but it’s terrifying knowing that you’ll never be here. Does he even know that I love him dear? One decade, maybe two more and then poof! My whole life has gone like flames on a roof. Hanging on a dream and unrealistic hopes. I feel like I’m dangling lifeless on a rope.

Forever’s A Myth

“Nothing last forever”. So they say and it fucken hurts. I’ve picked myself from the ground a thousand times and dusted myself off. Get me off this stupid roller coaster. I can’t take it anymore. What’s the point of even trying, If I’m always going to end up hurt!

My Dawns Of White Satin

Like the blankets that covered Marilyn Monroe,

Like the bag that carried my sister below,

Like the envelope of all my letters left un sent

And the lies that were fed and given and meant.

Like the light I can’t find in the middle of this darkness,

Like the screen of the T.V. I hopelessly stare onto,

Like the gardenias that sit in my lonely lawn so pretty

And the sanity that corrupts the soul within me.

Like the purest love I have shared with you,

Like the albino snake the hides deep inside you,

Like the ashes of many cigarettes burned out

And the glass as it fogs because of the smoke.

Like my hopes and dreams as they die unborn,

Like the blisters in my poor heart that you tore,

Like the times that I begged for you to stay and listen

And you just walked away laughing, complaining and cheating.

Like when doves cry when they mourn the death of their love.

Like when swans prey upon who threats of its own,

Like when sharks attack when caught on scent of blood

And blindly but surely confronts the unknown.

The Ring

The perfect ring is on my mind, I know he will love it. Can’t wait to pick it up and prepare a romantic event to give it to him. The ring lies on the counter glass, shining so bright. Box it up and engrave it for me. To my one and only endless love. The ring sits pretty upon the pillow as we both exchange our vows, as I put it on your finger I promised to have and to hold you till death do us part. The ring looks precious on your hand. I was so lucky to have found you. How have I lived all these years without you? I could never understand it. The ring stood by you for all these years and yet it has never lost its glisten. Except for those few times it dirtied when by force it struck against my skin. The ring lays on a piece of paper in my bed, in my room. Where it said: Sorry honey, I am out. We are done. We are through. The ring hangs from my cold gold chain around my precious neck. It heaviness reminds me of all the pain and to never forget. The ring was taken back to the jeweler’s pawn shop to be dealt with and for good. It was the end of its beautiful history and my sorry life with you

Seasonal Soulmate

I have learned over the years, that he is only temporary. That to have him full-time in my destiny, it isn’t necessary. I had to learn that he may never be mine. Soulmates don’t have to be in your life, until you die. Tonight I stare on to him in iration and disbelief. As my gorgeous lover makes love to me one more time before he leaves. Tonight I hold on tightly and embrace his every presence. I adore him; I evolve around him and highlight his Charming essence. I’ve learned to love him hard, To love him real, to love him so. My ion for him will continue so will my love over the years as it continues to grow. The time is near and once again I have to let him go.

Good luck, please don’t forget me; my darling I will miss you very much find me I will be there and in every love song that you hear. Just look for me and you will find that I will always be near. And in the stir of echoes in your dreams and between the stars of your darkest nights, I will never give up hope and I would never give you up without a fight.

Showboating A String

She drags the rope and with it her will. Tonight she’s exaggerating exhausted. She gave up the dreams, gave up the talks and now heading towards the closet. It’s not your business, if you’re not in this mess. No one will understand it. It’s easy to sit back and criticize, but why was it hard to stop it? You ridiculed her enough for today but not as much as yesterday. She kept on and fought it. Don’t say you love her today to hate her bad tomorrow. Just because Friday is here and the boys are in town and it’s time for happy hour. “Ring around the Rosie” He called it: “Just showboating” why not just ignore her cry for help? But instead you chose to instigate her suicide when you were the one who put her through that hell. So “Showboating a String” now is that what they call it? Was it too hard to show her remorse? How about tender love and beautiful words or maybe some kind of other ? A guardian angel saved her that night too bad it wasn’t you. It was a fight for her dear life when ridicule was all she got from you. Why deceive her that way? Why be that dirty snake? At her funeral don’t bring her flowers. He said: “You might have prevented her hanging today but she’ll slit her wrist tomorrow.”

The Unsent Letter

I love you so much, you have no clue how much I missed you. So, as the rumors continue: “She was always interrupted” “There was nothing you could have done to help her” I see yourself asking if I thought about you before my ing and the answer is yes, I did right until my last breath. I never got over our circumstances. Life was never fair to me or to the things that matter the most. I truly tried to change my reality but it seems as though the more I try the worse it got. Somewhere along the way I lost you and that made me lose myself. I cried so many nights alone and hidden away from critic’s. They all look so perfect. If we weren’t meant to be together why does it hurt so badly? The pain never ended. They told me to accept the things I cannot change. I could have been successful… Then they told me to deal with the changes, but life wasn’t worth living without you. I know someday we will see each other again and I can’t wait. I’m sure we will be happier in the next life, in a different timeline and under different circumstances. Farewell my love. My only regret was that I couldn’t keep you with me.

Dear Date

I shouldn’t be surprised to see, How ugly and vicious the man can be. Been in The Game of Life for a while now But just barely again at dating wild. I am in no rush to be again “taken” Don’t need excuses for my heart to be breaking. I’m just keeping it real until I find the right kind. It’s not necessary to play me, cheat or lie. I don’t mean to sound controversial. But I’m tired of being: Slammed then stabbed or slapped then proposed to. Seeing all my ex’s trying to find a way to come back to me. That shit makes my stomach turn, how dare they? They don’t think! When “WE” were real, I was real, it was real and plain to see… when you had my love, you had it all because I gave it all for you and me. When you fell I picked you up

and dusted you off and cleaned you up. But if it were me, you put me down used me like a rug, making it clear that I was never enough. It’s all okay now. I have grown and learned from the experience. I gave you chances, and forgave too much that made me look weak and lenient. And for the next guy I date, let it be known today, that he will be lucky. Well known for my morals and talents I am the best of the best. Faithful and blessed with a life well balanced. My love is a treasure box filled with ion and endeavor. If you are the one, “MY ONE” I will love you forever.

Engraved Notes

My notes in ink engraved on paper. My thoughts compiled on screen with wonder. I have become unforgettable and my legacy will live forever. Many questions left unanswered? Read again and they will become clear. My words and my life’s story have become immortal. Ask yourself if it was all true. Look deep inside yourself and you will find the answer. Regrets? Yes, I have many. But proud that I have had the honor of living what I did. Many lessons learned. I have changed many lives for the good; plenty more than negative. I am grateful for all the good, the bad and the ugly. For they have made me who I am. It’s for certain that I was loved by so much and hated by a few who desperately wanted to be in my shoes. I am content with the job that I have performed, for it was done with integrity and high morals. My love was strong and it will live on. My tears have all vanished. I am at peace. I have made peace with everything and everyone who I can never change. Life is beautiful but also painful. The beauty of it all is plain and simple. I was lucky to have been born in such an amazing era. I am delighted to have met you all and to have been a part of your life some way shape or form. Thank you for accepting my presence. Thank you for letting me be a part of you in many ways. It was a great ride. I am sure some day we will all meet again. Our souls never die. We are all never ending. Be blessed. Love always and sincerely… Jeannie

Every Time, Anytime

He vibes vigorously, Every time I touch him. Every time I look at him, every time, Anytime. I keep him craving for more. He keeps me begging for more. Every time he kisses me, every time, Anytime. His sent sends me shivers and I quiver in his arms. He trembles as I lean in to make him all my own.

My Dear Len

I live for you and I’ll die for you. When I go to bed at night and awake the next morning I live to impress you. I know I’m not perfect But I don’t want to remind you of that so I strive to make you think I am. I apologize if I get on your nerves, And act like I know more than you. When in fact it is I that knows that without you I am nothing. I know I annoy you more than I should, But I don’t do it on purpose. So if I take longer than usual to get ready for bed it’s only because I want to be perfect for you. If I don’t perform my skin rituals how can I keep up with the competition?

After work as I drive back home I make sure my makeup is flawless and my hair and clothes are fine. I spray more perfume on me and make sure my breath is fresh and ready to receive you the way you deserve. I keep a tight ship at home because when visitors come unannounced I want them to see how well and how Far you’ve gone. That’s why it bothers me to see things out of place. When it’s time to pay the bills I tend to get a little nervous because I need to be able to make sure we save enough to make all yours and our dreams come true. I live for you and my happiness is your happiness and that of our kids. So, again…

I’m sorry for being such a royal pain but I am your queen and as such I make sure you have everything you need for your empire or anything else just the same.

Just Say

Please let me hear you say those loving words I slave to, when only coming from you: “It’s you.” “I love you.” Let me hear you say that it will not be over just yet and say it once again so that I’ll never forget. “There will always be you.” “I will only love you.” Let it be known to some but ignored by others that our love is truly real and then some. “I can’t be without you.” “My heart beats for just you.” Let me get the chance to show you, what it is to be in love and to live a happy life filled within it. “You are my true love, my one and only love and I will always love you.”

My Euphoria

Your love is like a drug and I am so addicted. Your kisses are like poison in my veins, I am no victim. Under your spell and command is where I pertain. So deep into your love, you’re a forceful hard habit to break. The way you grabbed my waist and grinds me so tightly from behind. The way our legs meet, shake and intertwine. The way you use your fingertips to draw out my silhouette. The way you pull my hair, slap and spit, it gets me, ohh… so wet! No rehab and no one can break my addiction towards you. I don’t mind the over dosage of your love and honeydew. So come anytime and pour your sweet sugar drug all over me. Just one dose is all it takes to make me feel alive, loved and happy. The euphoria you inject in me is ohh… So exhilarating! An intoxicating delightfulness, that cloud nine, paradise nor heaven is nothing compared to your addictive bohemian loveliness.

Let Him Go!

Mama said to let him go, I sure hope she’s right. For this is the 6th godforsaken time I lose my love tonight. They say if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it’s yours, if not, he was never worth your time. I love my man, no doubt and no matter what the reason today I can’t call him mine. If I have to wait an eternity I will just to make him mine. I won’t let him go… No not without a fight. The thing is… I’ve had let him go to many mother fucking times. But destines has brought him back to me always in due time. Maybe we are cursed or maybe it’s just not the right time. I refuse to let him go; mama, and die without him this time. Sorry Mama, I just can’t do it. I’m sorry if I make you sad. He is the love of my life, without him today would be the ending of my entire life.

Some Roses

Roses aren’t always red and violets aren’t always blue… But when you say you love me, I hope you really do.

Cause just like jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch that stupid pail of water, if it weren’t because jack fell down and broke his freaken crown he wouldn’t married idiot Jill that came tumbling afterwards.

I hate fairytales and mother goose rhymes. Because of them I have lived naive and ignorantly blind.

There’s no such thing as “happily ever after” and no such thing as a happy ending, don’t lie! Those jokes got old by the time I had lost my second baby and the love of my life.

Never Enough

First he said I was pretty but I wasn’t “American” enough. He said I was a sexy Latina but not “skinny” enough… I was a cute comedian but I didn’t have blue green eyes… I was decent looking but not a natural blonde… I was a hardworking woman but I wasn’t a rocket scientist… I saved money but I wasn’t rich enough to his compliance. I got the bills paid and on time every month but I still complain about the dirty clothes left behind and had a loose lip when he’d break his promises or left the family goals behind. I was taken advantage of because I trusted too much. I was taken for granted because I was too naive. I was cheated on because I was never loved. I was Expendable because I was never enough. It is immature to blame a choice one makes on another person. I don’t think any woman would have ever been enough for somebody that was so vain, shallow and selfish. For him I was never enough nor would any other woman be. This mother fucker still hasn’t grown up. He’s lost his chances with me.

The Last 10 days

My last 10 days with you my love have been super extraordinary fulfilling… And I’m happy to announce that if I die today I will be happy and content to have giving all that I could have offer to you as though it was a full life given.

Day 10 has taught me how precious your existent has been. I it we had fun, I came to you with a wig and you indulged me and acted as a movie villain. Day 9th came in and then we acted as thou we had just met and partied until the night ended. Day 8th came along and I was like your angel in disguise that came to recue you from a boring life living. By the 7th day you gave in and served me lunch in bed… then you made loved to me until the next day, as in the 6th and the 5th until the day end. But By the 4th day you were already pissed and annoyed that my best friend had mistakenly itted our relationship in vivid that by the 3rd day I was so broken to continue to burden you, I felt like shit. Then the 2nd day before it ended I was already missing you. The last day had arrived and I’ve already programed to dismiss you without no good byes or no kisses to forget you. I planned a way out so I’d never have to submit to…. the pain of losing you and the memories of our flunked love over and over again as my life had continued I thought in my head: oh shit this is the end… Not again! That’s it. I’m drained. YES, I chickened out and let the best lady win. I am not in comparison with your wife; we obviously can’t keep living in sin. I mean come on, I’m giving up, and wouldn’t you have done the same? It’s not fair being shown as a clown of the shame game of love I was stuck in.

The Monster In Me

A monster?

Who’s monster?

Your monster!

I am.

You made me,

You played me,

now hate me.

That’s fair?

A bitch?

Who’s bitch?

Your bitch!

I am?

You do things,

you mess things,

you break me!

Not fair!

Don’t complain about what you started.

It’s okay to make mistakes,

it’s not okay to keep repeating them

and pretending there won’t be a change.

If you don’t like whom I’ve become

you have yourself to blame.

I don’t like who we’ve become.

This marriage is insane.

I can leave you anytime!

Ha! But who am I fucking kidding

I love myself way too much to

Just give up and lose everything.

But please just go!

Get up and leave your

crazy little monster.

This bitch is here because of you.

You whining little bastard.

I Was Wrong

When I love, I love hard. So when you say you love me, I’ll believe that. When you say you’re sorry even if it still hurts, I will forgive you and move on. Because I thought love conquers everything and boy I was wrong!

Show Me

What can I do? I try to get through,

to bring you back to me.

Because you’re here, physically…

but your mind is somewhere

far away from me.

What can I do to make you love me

like before?

Because you say you do,

but your kisses tell me otherwise.

That’s something hard to ignore.

What can I do to make you happy again?

Because you tell everyone else that you are,

but you’ve lost that twinkle in your eyes.

Tell me is this the final end ?

What can I do to bring back what we had?

Because I’d give anything to make it feel

like it did when we began.

I’d give my life to see you happy,

I’d sell my soul to feel you love me.

Tell me how to make this happen and how to make it last don’t give up on us so

easily… talk to me and show me.

Broken Wife

If you yell at me, I’ll respond. If you hit me, I’ll strike back harder. If you tear me I will bleed but so will you. If you lie to me I will know. If you disrespect my loyalty That will be the end of us both. Broken wife; broken life.

Women should never submit themselves though that kind of tainted relationship. They should that their child can be watching and thinking it’s something normal. Then when they grow up they start making the same mistakes. I got my personal respect back, my dignity and my life. No man is worth giving that up for their personal gain.

My Seven Wonders In The World

1. To see you walk in the room. 2. To hear your voice call out my name. 3. To touch your body, embracing every inch of you. 4. To feel your hands around my waist. 5. To taste your lips, as I melt into your arms. 6. To laugh with you every chance I get. 7. To love you with every beat of my humble heart, and to love you always and in every way.

You Say You Love Me, But You Don’t

I’ve heard it all before my love. And it’s not like I don’t believe you… but actions do speak louder than words. It’s not like were kids any more. We are full grown adults and I have to it that it really obnoxiously still hurts. Now we know the true meaning of words. Now we know the true meaning of life. What’s life without love or without family? But sometimes we can’t have them both. Well at least we still love each other dearly and sometimes not even that can be enough. Sometimes if we’re lucky enough we can have it all in just one bunch. Not our case at all and obviously that fucken sucks. But just feel lucky enough that person you said you loved, loves you back unconditionally just as much.

My Mirros Mirror

On the wall so many mirrors, yet set, all unused. Leave them dusty and dirty, to hide the real you. Cause, I hate what I see and darling so do you!

Do you Feel Me?

Uncovered, no blankets, so hot!

Drips of sweat cover our bodies,

how can it not?

My chest panting, about to explode!

My heart beats so fast.

Can you hear it roar?

My eyes deeply set into yours!

Gently but firmly I pull on your hair.

If you come off me now it wouldn’t be fair.

My mouth watering onto yours!

And we simply embrace.

Take it easy my love, it isn’t a race.

My arms wrapped so tightly

around you as thou,

it can be our last night; I won’t let you go.

My inner thighs pushing you away

and towards me, slowly but fast,

I can feel you exploding.

My soul so set in you.

Can you feel it connecting?

Can you feel that I’m all yours?

A loves never ending!

Do Upon Me

Thou rescued me from the dungeons of hell

and brought me back to life.

Only to torcher me with your ingrate love.

Blistering, leap of faith and love.

When will my devotion and ion

be enough for thee?

I mourn till thou make me forever and

eternally only yours.

As of always do upon me as you wish.

For I have vowed to slave thee till

death comes to claim me.

Yours

The sway of my hips upon you,

your tongue melting in my mouth;

As your hands pull me closer

to savor you… I lie restless in your arms.

Our weekly routine emotions me.

I’d rather have you every day.

But the closer I reach to the center of your heart… the harder it takes to pull away.

It frightens me to fall deep into you again only to have you run away.

But you’re the only real thing I ever really loved and the thing I live for today.

Tonight when you hold me and kiss me… Do it tenderly all though the night. Hug me tightly please don’t let me go fast, for today can be our very last time.

It’s Our Time

My lord: the world is a better place because he’s in it. The timing couldn’t be any better. I kiss the ground he walks on; his presence is my pleasure. I am forever in his debt. Without him I wanted to die. Life was over as I knew it. So many times to die I tried. I am finally complete, sweet Jesus, hear me out. I am happy in his world. I belong in his arms. I’ve suffered so much already. Please don’t take that away from me again. Please let me live so that I can keep making him happy and enjoy his love until our natural end. Please let me have him until forever. Now it’s finally our time. Lord, just give me that it’s all I ask for. God bless him and our love, amen.

About The Author

Janet Rosario is best known as Jeannie. Fun loving daughter, sister and proud mother of two, Bryanlee Manuel (son) and Samantha Ashley (daughter) has gained a new daughter named Aurora Sophia. Engaged to her life partner Dr. Lenny Tua, who is also from puertorriquen decent. Janet was born in Chicago Illinois but raised in Camuy, Puerto Rico. She’s currently working as a banker, notary and certified M.T. She was awarded by the city of Orlando for “Latina Woman of Distinction 2018.” She started writing at the age of 12. She is the fourth sister of eight beautiful women. Her parents are Blanca and Bolivar. Her ion is her family, writing and singing karaoke. She loves to volunteer in her community, local churches and charities. What else can we say about her? She’s simply adorable and awesome. She is unique and irable. Enjoy her “Sarcastic Poetry.”

The Ilustrator

Samantha Ashley Reyes, daughter of Janet Rosario. Born in the town of Bartow, Florida. Raised in Levittown Toabaja, Puerto Rico. She is currently 24 years old, she studied and graduated from: Digital graphic design with computer animation in the Atlantic College in Guaynabo P.R.. Author of: My Dragon Friends, Children’s book published in 2016.

Part Two/Parte Dos

Dedicacion

Para mi mejor amigo; mi defensor mi verdadero amor y mi alma gemela. Amarte me completa. Lenny Tua Méndez, Me has dado más felicidad y lágrimas de alegría; de lo que cualquiera pudiera pedir o esperar. ¡Gracias por hacerme feliz de nuevo! ¡Gracias por traerme de vuelta a la vida! ¡Te amare por siempre!

POESIAS SARCASTICAS

Introduccion

Una vez más, les agradezco a todos por su apoyo. Tenga en cuenta que, si algunos de mis escritos provienen de experiencias personales y mi creatividad e imaginación fueron descritas sin intenciones de lastimar, ofender, faltar al respeto o dañar a ningún grupo de personas. Los nombres escritos son ficticios.

Parte de la información reunida aquí proviene de fuentes consideradas confiables… tal vez. Sin embargo, la precisión es otra cosa. Si alguien se ofende por el contenido de este documento… ¡supéralo! No voy a pedir disculpas. Dios bendiga la libertad de expresión.

Las personas que me escriben o me envían correos electrónicos porque cometí un error ortográfico o porque mis perspectivas son incorrectas y las suyas son correctas… ¡No se molesten! Por favor no pierdas tu tiempo.

¡Que lo disfruten!

Tornillos Sueltos

Me sentí muy cansada y a veces muy débil en el camino, pero me aferré a mi bolso con fuerza y seguí caminando sin mirar atrás. Hasta que un día algunas personas dijeron: “déjame ayudarte con eso”. Cuando les entregué mi bolso, se quejaron de que era demasiado pesado, que era demasiado malo. ¿Qué hay ahí dentro? Siempre preguntaban y yo siempre explicaba. Es mi bolsa de tornillos sueltos y con ella lleva todo mi dolor. Un tornillo que se me cayó cada vez que febrilmente, desinteresadamente y ciegamente, entregué un pedazo de mí y de mi alma a alguien o algo en lo que realmente creía y me decepcionó. Prometiéndome a mí mismo que algún día volvería a arreglarme o que algún día Dios me enviaría al héroe que había esperado durante tanto tiempo. ¿Para qué? ¿Qué ganarías? Continuaron preguntando. Para ayudarme a llegar a los lugares que no podía alcanzar para mí arreglo. Para finalmente ser solo una pieza sólida de nuevo. Llevo desesperadamente mis tornillos sueltos conmigo sin renunciar a mis sueños, no importa lo difícil o locas que se pongan las cosas. Todavía me aferro a lo que me queda. Esperando y buscando ese día por venir, son pesados y bastante tediosos, pero me ayudaron a superarme… ¿Por qué no lo dejas? Siguen criticando. Nunca dejaré de lado lo que soy o lo que era. Sólo puedo mejorar. Así que aguanto un poco más. Doy gracias por todo lo bueno y lo malo porque como dice el dicho: “Lo que no te mata te hace más fuerte”. Así que no te preocupes por mis tornillos sueltos, preocúpate por los tuyos, que mientras te sientas y juzgas a los demás, te olvidas de ver que los tuyos se caen solos. Puede que esté rota con algunos tornillos sueltos, pero me mantengo fiel a mí mismo y a mis seres queridos. Tengo un corazón de oro. Y cuando amo, amo mucho pero sé cuándo dejar ir.

No hay espacio para el odio en esta preciosa y antigua alma, pero sé que algún día… solo un día llegaré a ser toda la persona que solía ser. Y no esta persona rota. Créeme y verás. Soy quien soy. Pero Sólo hay un yo.

Me Extrañaras

Me Extrañaras amor, y eso te lo juro. Tú vibras y te enciendes solamente conmigo. Tus inseguridades desaparecieron una vez que entre a tu entorno. Fui la fuerza invisible de todos tus logros. No desvíes la mirada, yo soy y siempre seré tu objetivo. Me extrañaras amor de eso estoy seguro. Nadie te amara con la misma fuerza e intensidad. Mis besos tu pasión, mi calor tu despertar. Si me dejas mi voz se ira con el ímpetu del viento. Tú me quieres, tú me amas. Te robo el aliento. Me extrañaras amor te va doler y lo lamentarás. Y morirás cuando me veas en brazos de otra.

No Necesito Canciones

No necesito una canción para acordarme de usted.

Pues, Pienso en ti todos los días, aunque sin querer.

Trato de mantenerme ocupada todo el día para que no ocupes mi mente.

Obvio que en eso también falle, pues se siente como herida reciente.

Hoy prendí la radio y no sé ni porque lloro. Ha pasado mucho tiempo, Definitivamente esto es de loco.

No es que quiera volver contigo, pues eso nunca funcionó.

No es que te amé como mujer, pues ese sentimiento ya cambio.

Será que te extraño? Está bien. Creo que eso es normal.

Tantos años consumidos, eres como un familiar.

Sera que me causa tristeza haberte Perdido como amigo?

Reconozco hoy día… Nunca debí haberme enredado contigo.

Semillita

Princesita de mi corazón. Te amé antes de conocerte. Justo en el momento que escuche tus primeros latidos del corazón. Bendigo el día en que llegaste a mi vida pues, no pudiste llegar en el mejor momento. Gracias a ti aprendí a creer en el amor a primera vista. Eres Aurora, mi lucecita tenue que aparece justo antes de la salida del sol. Mi lucecita de esperanza, mi despertar, mi todo, mi mundo. Cuando miro tus ojos, miro mi reflejo más puro. Eres la razón de mí existir, el eje de mi vida. Como rayito de sol un rayito de mí. Crecerás en el amor y tendrás todo de mí. Todo lo que un padre orgulloso, amoroso y responsable le pueda brindar a su más preciado tesoro. Recuerda siempre que estaré a tu lado cuando más me necesites sin importar cuán grande o pequeña sea el problema. Siempre contaras conmigo. Te amo hijita. Te veré crecer y serás quien quieras que seas y cómo quieres tu ser y te amare tal cual cómo eres Así que muéstrate al mundo tal como eres; preciosa, alegre y dulce. Estoy confiado en el gran ser humano que haz de ser para el mundo. Talvez no pueda evitar tu sufrimiento cuando alguien o algo te lastimen. Pero haré todo lo posible para recoger contigo todos los pedazos de tu corazón partido para armarlo de nuevo y hacerte más fuerte, como lo has hecho tú conmigo. Dios me bendijo con tu hermosa existencia y me hizo ser mejor persona. Gracias hija mía adorada. No sabes la emoción que siento cuando escucho tu voz cantándome o llamándome papá. Tú eres el gran amor de mi vida y siempre te protegeré. En vida o en el cielo a tu lado siempre estaré. Dios te bendiga.

Querida Mentira

Mí querida amiga enemiga: No sé si odiarte o agradecerte. No sé si elogiarte o desacreditarte. Fuistes y eres en fin, algo importante en mi vida. Querida mentira, gracias por todas las falsas promesas porque al fin y al cabo me hicieron feliz en el momento. Aunque después hayan arruinado mi vida. Me enseñaste muchísimas lecciones. Sería una hipócrita si no digo que eres un mal necesario. Creo que soy la primera persona en este despiadado mundo en reconocerlo. Querida mentira, en esta época presente tan inhumano en el que vivimos, iro tu forma de faenar. Pues laboras con tanta consagración que has confundido las normas jurídicas que regulan las relaciones entre dos o más personas que poseen obligaciones y derechos de forma recíproca. Querida mentira, tengo que reconocer que mil veces caí en tu trampa perversa. Tan malvada que eres pero también tan dulce a la vez. Por Favor ya suelta el gancho de donde me tienes atrapada y ten más piedad sobre mí. Más patética no me puedo sentir. Más deplorable mi estado emocional no podría estar. Querida mentira, ganaste! Eres vencedor de mis ilusiones. Bajo la cabeza en deshonor, oprobio y modestia. Me arrebataste mi dignidad. Qué más queda por destruir en mí? Las ganas de vivir? Pues lo lograste. Aquí te entrego mis sueños rotos. Si me vas a aniquilar hazlo ya y rápido. Solo te pido una mentira más…

Que en mi lecho de muerte; su canción sea de mil palabras bellas y que su amor fingido no sea descubierto por mi corazón. Permíteme despedir al mundo fundido en amor.

A Tus Comentarios

La gente va comentando por allí; Pero a mí no me sorprende nada. Siempre se anda en bocas ajenas cuando en realidad somos envidiadas. Déjalos que hablen de mí! Y que hablen de más o de menos qué importa, Si es así como se las pasan todas sus vidas que ya ni sus parejas los soportan. No me interesa lo que piensan de mí y mucho menos lo que se hayan inventado. Es más, me siento hasta feliz que Si no fuera por mí no estuvieran gozando.

El Loco De Contento

Va de prisa sin saber que ya lo he descubierto todo. No he reaccionado por temor a lastimarlo. Nunca subestimes el dolor de una mujer herida.

Pero nunca subestimes su inteligencia bajo fuego por mentiras.

Si quieres jugar amor pues que comienza la batalla. Es de tontos cree que tu traición no saldrá a la luz, canalla!

Mira al tu alrededor bastantes peces en el mar. Bastantes cerdos porfiados asado en una nochebuena sin avisar.

Mucho ojo corazón. Me da pena tu destino. Solito caerás en el lodo en el infierno de tus mentiras.

Mira cómo va contento el loco creyéndose ganador. No se da cuenta que el que ríe ultimo… ríe mejor.

Ciega Perdida

No me quites el vendaje de Los ojos.

No necesito ver la realidad.

Prefiero seguir creyendo que me amas, pues prefiero morir contenta de verdad.

No me digas tu versión de la vida.

No me interesa tu conveniente realidad.

No me importa si me creas diferente.

Viviré feliz, tranquila y en paz.

Antes Que Nada

Antes de volverte a decir algo bonito o positivo, me muerdo la lengua! No te lo mereces. Es más, nunca lo has merecido por infeliz, arrogante y mala fe. Si antes te lo decía, fue por mantener la paz entre nosotros. Pero ahora me vale lo que hagas con tu vida y con lo que piensas de mí. Y no te deseo mal porque eso no es de cristianos. Solo recuerda que cosecharas lo que siembras; Y Todo lo que le haces a los demás, solo a Dios le rendirás cuentas.

Que Porque Te Amo?

Te amo porque eres libre. Tomas tú propias decisiones. Nadie te obliga hacer lo que no quieres. Te amo porque eres sabio. Siempre buscas el conocimiento y no te dejas llevar por lo que te dicen. Te amo porque eres muy trabajador. No dejas nada para mañana, si lo puedes hacer hoy. Y no hay nada que no puedes arreglar tanto en la casa como en mi corazón. Te amo porque eres bello de cuerpo, alma, corazón y mente. Y tus palabras, tus detalles, tus caricias y tus besos también son muy bellos. Te amo porque sabes amarme. Te dedicas a complacerme y atender cada rincón de mi cuerpo no como a ti te gusta sino como a mí me encanta. Te amo porque me procuras. Te importo un mundo. Me llamas, me texteas y me hablas bonito al oído todo lo que necesito oír. Te amo porque tus ojos son brujos, me hechizas. Me hipnotizas. Caigo rendida a tus pies, son sensuales y profundos. Eres un sueño hecho realidad! Te amo porque tú me amas. Puedo ser yo misma cuando estoy contigo y me aceptas tal cual soy, con mis virtudes y defectos, fea o linda tú dices: Yo soy tuya! Te amo porque me escuchas aun cuando no digo nada. Solo tú me comprendes como nadie puede hacerlo. Y no te importa si repito las cosas simplemente sonríes dejándome terminar. Te amo porque me cuidas. Cuando estoy enferma me das la medicina o cuando estoy en regla me dejas quietecita. SI el dinero no me alcanza me completas y si se me antoja algún capricho me complaces.

Te amo porque hueles divino. Me fascina acostarme a tu lado siempre limpio siempre perfumado. Te amo porque me abrazas no solo en la intimidad sino también cuando estoy feliz o triste y también solo porque si! Te amo porque eres mío. Eres mi amor, mi ilusión, mi rey, mi dueño, mi mejor amigo, mi todo! Te amo… por qué? Porque sí! Como no amar lo más bello que me ha preparado Dios. Estoy bendecida con tu amor y todos los días le doy gracias a Dios. Por eso y más te amo! Dios Bendiga nuestra unión.

Lo Que Un Día Quise

Quise ser la mejor esposa cuando me case contigo. Y Quise ser mejor madre que cría a tus hijos… Ser la amante perfecta cuando me tomabas en tus brazos y ser la muerta al enterarme de tu engaño. No quise estar viva, cuando leí tu carta de abandono. Y hubieses preferido no haber nacido para vivir en tu manicomio. Pero quise ver la luz más allá de tus mentiras y vivir con más esmero sonriente hacia la vida. No detuve tu partida y me propuse olvidarte. El contrario de amarrarte, lastimarte y castigarte. Me di cuenta que tu amor nunca fue hecho para mí. Gracia a Dios ahora sigo viva, exitosa y feliz. Pero no fue fácil, no lo niego, y te perdí. Quise decirte y contarte todo aquello dolor que sentí. Mi nuevo amor, con el que ahora estoy, siempre me recuerda: No Vale la pena! No fuistes nada para el solo basura, solo mierda.

Condenado

Te encerré, y no porque quise hacerlo. Pero tampoco porque te lo merecías… Sino porque el destino asi lo decidio!

Cuál De Los Dos Mas Desdichado?

Me pregunto qué harás… me pregunto si ahora eres más feliz de lo que eras cuando estabas conmigo. Ya conseguiste lo que querías? Y si asi es, dime si es justo lo que esperabas. Estarás satisfecho con las consecuencias de tus actos o aun te sientes solo aunque estés acompañado? Dime si piensas en mi cada vez que pasas por el barrio o entras a la tienda donde juntos comprábamos. Escuchas mi voz cantando nuestra canciones favoritos salen en la radio? Te llegan recuerdos de los momentos más felices o gracioso? Percibes el olor de mi perfume de repente al despertar? Dime si alguna vez se te haya escapado mi nombre al llamar a tu presente amor. Quiero saber si a ti te pasa lo mismo que a mí y si aún lloras por mi recuerdo, mientras vas guiando para la casa o cuando te estas bañando en la ducha aprovechando que el ruido del agua enmascara los ruidos del llanto. Callado sin que nadie te escuche. Cuéntame. Por qué nos dejamos pero aun amándonos. Todo por nuestro bien. Al menos eso pensamos. Pero dicen por allí que, qué más da que lamentar y que hay que conformarse con la realidad pues, ya no hay marcha atrás. Asi lo quiso el destino. Todo pasa por una razón. La trivia es, que lección aprender de todo esto. Talvez fue lo mejor. Talvez tú en realidad te arrepientes y talvez sin ti vivo mejor y tú vives desdichado sin mi amor.

Mi Jibaro Moderno

Me fascina verlo, muy galante, rubio y bello. Quien me regala mil sonrisas. Quien me regala mil gratos recuerdos. Que bendición tan grande, quitarme 25 años de encima. Gracias por traerme un pedazo de mi tierra enredado en tu voz y enredado en tu risa. Al estar a tu lado me sentí de nuevo en mi isla. Eres un encanto, mi jíbaro moderno que Borinquén bella te me bendiga!

Lucidez Silenciosa

Lucida camina entre ellos callada, observando… buscando encontrar y llenar sus necesidades para olvidarse de los suyos. Qué mejor manera de escapar de su realidad ayudando a otros. Solo así consigue llenar el vacío que lleva dentro. Y la vida continúa. Lucida corre hacia el peligro eminente; deteniéndose ante la orilla del vacío del hoyo, contemplando la hermosura del oscuro y hondo boquete. Allí piensa y piensa: Valdrá la pena? Y después qué? Sí. La lloraran. Y también por un tiempo la recordaran. Pero luego la olvidaran. Pues no hay dolor que dure 100 años. Y la vida continúa. Debe haber otra manera. Y se retracta. En su silenciosa lucidez, baja la mirada y abre el botiquín. Cuál de estos remedios le ayudarán a calmar su dolor? Rosa, azul, verde o blanco. Hay tantos por escoger. Rosa para detener el lagrimeo. Azul para acabar el día más rápido. Verde en pastilla para adormecer el dolor o la yerba buena para reírse de sus tantas payasadas. Blanco pastillita para calmar el cabrón hambre y de una vez por todas dejar de engordar. O polvito blanco para aparentar y ser y tomar agallas para hacer y decir lo que el mundo dicte lo que es correcto. Mil y una listas de lo que hay que hacer y mil y dos bolígrafos para cruzar lo que se hizo. Mil y tres lápices para borrar y empezar de nuevo. Once botellas vacías… 45 colillas de cigarrillos. Varios cartones reciclados. Y la vida continúa. En su lucidez de hipocresía; el trabajo, la oficina se ha convertido en su vida. Allí todo es urgente, allí todo tiene fecha límite. Así que hay que lograr hacer las metas que exigen sin peros ni excusas. Su rutina: Despertar, vestirse, un café de desayuno, viajar lejos al trabajo, trabajar, regresar, lavarse y repetir. En su tiempo libre: ayudar a otros y volver a prepararse para comenzar su maldita rutina poniéndose una máscara para esconder su estúpida patética realidad. Y la vida continúa. Continua. Continúa un día más sin saber de sus hijos un día más sin ser una prioridad. Un día más recordando las mentiras y los engaños y los seres queridos que han muertos sin explicación. Preguntas sin respuestas. Acciones sin consecuencias, todos un azote brutal. En su lucidez silenciosa sigue buscando una luz. Sigue orando por un remedio que la lleve a la felicidad. Maldiciendo su existencia. Sigue dispuesta a creer en las ilusiones inventada que el destino persiste en poner en su frente. Sigue rota y alocada pero silente ante todo y todos. Sigue sus esperanzas de que todo pasa por una razón y que pronto se sabrá el porqué de su experiencias y el porqué de tantas desgracias. Sigue esperando… sigue

esperando y la vida continua.

Harta De Odio

Ya les di miles de oportunidades y siguen igual de decepcionantes. Harta de odio con los hombres de hoy día que se creen buen amantes. No creo que sea mala suerte que los que estuvieron conmigo fueron desastrosos, en cambio las mujeres te tratan con más respeto y la relación es más hermoso. Dios nos creó muy distintos y eso no lo niego, pues ellos disponen. Pero es mejor la suavidad que el rudo, áspero y trato cruel que ellos nos proponen. Hoy en día, como van las cosas ya todo ha cambiado. No se necesitan a los hombres, podemos solas con cualquier trabajo. Es obvio que sin ellos no se puede procrear. Y que sin su fuerza y dictadura no se puede progresar. Aunque pensándolo bien es mejor que me retracte. Mi padre fue un buen hombre siempre puso de su parte. No Me haga caso es que estoy tan harta de odio. Solo me han tocado los peores amantes, esposos y novios. Así que crean lo que quieran y opine lo que les da la gana. Solo me estoy desahogando diciendo lo que me da la gana. Guarden todas sus opiniones que yo ya no lo dudo. Yo disfruto de lo mejor de dos mundos. Harta de odio que estoy. Pero ay, como lo disfruto!

Sentenciada

No es cadena perpetua, aunque a veces se siente así. Tu amor me tiene sentenciada cada 5 años… sola, a morir. No distingue a tiempo el momento oportuno para darte el sí. Pero cuando lo hice te botaste amándome intensamente luego hiriéndome haciéndome infeliz. No es una herida física o verbal aunque cuando me dices que me amas y luego me dejas, siento que me acribilles total. No es un amor pasajero. Te amo para toda la vida. Mi amor es puro y sincero. El dolor por no tenerte será siempre mi desvelo. No es tu culpa? Dicen que la tonta será siempre esta payasa que continúa abriéndote caminos sabiendo que nunca seré completamente tuya. No seré tu prioridad por ahora y lo entiendo… pero cada vez que te vas me hundo sola en este infierno. No lo puedo evitar, te amo mi amor y demasiado. Pero no puedo obligar a que te quedes a mi lado. Me sentencias cada vez que te despidas… cada vez que reapareces, cada vez que tú me miras. Cada vez que te me entregas, cada vez que me desnudas. Cada vez que tú me besas y del amor puro que me juras. Cada llamada lúcida y tu suave tono de voz. Cada jalón de cabello hundidos en la pasión… cada apretón del cuello al llenarme completamente con tu fervor. Cada vez que te tengo que soltar y recomenzar a aprender a estar de nuevo sin tu calor.

Que Si Aun Te Amo?

Que si aún te amo?…. Eso tú nunca lo sabrás, vivirás con la curiosidad matándote. Pregunta que no te dejara dormir, duda que te dejara soñando. Pasaras todas las tardes ojeando mis páginas sociales, leyendo mis cartas viejas y soñando despierto. Precavido y pendiente de que nunca se te zafe mi nombre delante de nadie o delante de ella… Que si aún te amo? Para nada!!! Tu moriste para mí! Eres tú la basura más grande que he tenido que hundir.

Tus Ojos

Amor, no importa cuánto hemos envejecido o cuánto hemos cambiado físicamente. Los ojos nunca cambian.

Cada vez que miro a tus ojos,

puedo verte como te veía

la primera que te conocí.

Puedo recordar al instante

como me hiciste sentir

y recuerdo también lo que

me hizo enamorarme de ti.

Te amo.

Y aunque pasen muchísimo

años más te seguiré

amando y adorando.

Encuentrame

Ven búscame amor mío, sigo aquí donde me dejaste aun esperándote. No he cambiado nada para cuando decidas regresar aun me reconozcas. Lista para enamorarte Sigo siendo aquella niña extrovertida que te gustaba por aventurera. Sigo siendo creativa y viva provocándote pavera. Sigo igual de cariñosa, pues tu amor siempre me inspira. Sigo amándote como loca, por tu amor me encuentro perdida. Siempre seré la misma, tu mujer. La que te ama. Siempre estaré lista para tu inesperada llamada. Como será posible que me hayas dejado tanto tiempo? Vivo bajo tus promesas. Mi amor es la misma, no ha cambiado con el tiempo. El reloj caminó de prisa y con ella se llevó la risa, mi cabello ha cambiado de color. No pisó fuerte como antes estoy derrotada y abatida con dolor. Mis manos siguen aún vacíos, siento un vacío inmenso sin tu amor. Encuentrame, ven de prisa. Ya no tardes por favor.

Mil Y Una Excusas

Utilizas mil y una excusas para alejarme de ti… solo para convencerte otra vez de que no soy para ti. Das vueltas y largas al asunto y regresas a lo que ya sabes… que sin mi amor te deprimes porque mi amor es tu clave. La clave de qué? Pues de tu esencia y de tu rubor y la cura de tus males. Te amo y tú me amas. Somos dos fieras salvajes. Dos bestias en la cama que sin pudor lo culminas… ven a verme esta noche a ver si de verdad lo fulminas. Apaga esa luz que en verdad no se necesita. Si con nuestra lujuria y pasión, el fuego resucita! No me vengas con más excusas yo soy para ti. Nadie en este mundo entiende lo que tú provocas en mí. Cállate ya y bésame sin más contemplación. Hágame el amor sin enojos, excusas y sin compasión. El tiempo se nos agota hasta el próximo encuentro. De seguro volverás con tu maldito desprecio. Es como un círculo vicioso de lo que nos aparta de lo que puedo ser tan hermoso.

Mi Lamento A Borinquén

Borinquén te llama, te llora y te reclama! Tainos míos a dónde se me han Ido a morar? Dejaste atrás a tu Isla preciosa buscando pan, tierra y libertad. Se escucha mi lamento allá por el monte. Se escucha en el llano y también por el mar. Regresen boricuas ausentes, a mis brazos, a mis pechos y a mí bello palmar. Que sus olas te arrullen bonito. Que te besen los labios la sal, y te canten una linda bohemia para curarte de todo mal. No se me den por vencidos! Luchen con mucho orgullo! Que el grito se escucha hasta en la luna!

Que sacude a los enemigos y Los suyos! Defienda con orgullo tu pueblo, tu bandera y tu bendita patria. Que el Mundo entero sepa su honra. Que mi Puerto Rico no se vende ni se engaña!

Carta De Despedida

Si llegara morir hoy

en este día nublado

que sea solo el cielo

quien llora por mí…

que llore en solidaridad

con el dolor pregnado

en mi pecho que me

llevo por fin a morir.

Hijo mío no me lloraras

pues fui para ti

como si nunca existí,

hija mía no te apures

sé que duele, pero

siempre velare por ti.

Madre mía te perdono y

perdóname tú a mí,

no siempre fui perfecta

pero siempre trate

de hacerte feliz.

A mis hermanas mil consuelos

de todas ellas aprendí.

Y mis amores les aseguro que

este amor no se acabara aquí.

Adiós a mis buenos amigos,

enemigos si los tuve nunca supi.

No me lloren al menos no

por mucho tiempo pues,

esta muerte no es mi fin.

por lo pronto mis amores

busquen bien entre mis cosas

entre mis cartas, entre mis libros,

entre mis poemas, canciones y bromas…

he dejado mil mensajes

miles de pruebas y miles de fotos,

mis consejos, mis historias,

mis quejidos y me perdonan.

Volveré en otra vida y

seré otra más feliz.

Volveremos a encontrarnos

nuevamente, confía en mí.

Los amo y te amo y en verdad

te amé. Solo les pido:

no me olviden que con ustedes

quedare!

Tu voz

Me encanta escucharte hablar.

Tus palabras me derriten.

Me fascina escucharte cantar.

Tu voz me estremece.

Me mata escucharte llorar,

Me rompe el alma y los sentimientos.

Y mi corazón se hace trizas

Cuando gritas palabras soeces.

Háblame con dulzura, con mesura y con amor.

Cántame al oído sin tapujos ni pudor.

Y grítame si es necesario,

no por relajo ni por dolor.

Grítame bien rico solo al hacernos el amor!

Perfectamente Imperfecto

No me confundas, estoy muy segura de lo que quiero y de lo que valgo. Mi amor es perfectamente imperfecto y grande. Yo lo acepto y lo quiero tal cual como es. No me asustan los retos, él es como es. Fuerte, gordito, blanquito, pelú y asmático. Bello, tembloroso, ansioso, inseguro pero practico. Trabajador en exceso, observador y recato. De buen sentido del humor cuando le formó un relajo. Inteligente, seductor y fielmente complaciente. Que si me duele, me cura. Si le lloro me consiente. Que si “me pica” aquí o “me pica” acá… si le dijo: “Hey baby me siento solita” Él llega de prisa pero sin prisa me ama. Me besa, me abraza. Un “Dandi” en la cama. No tengo que verlo todo el tiempo o todos los días. De él estoy segura y el de mí y de mi amor confía. Yo lo amo con un amor sin límites ni barreras. Con mesura y respeto con ilusión y cautela. No le cambio nada, él es perfecto para mí. Como la mujer maravilla aun siendo torpe; me hace sentir. No busques perfección donde se supone que no lo haya. Respeta las diferencias y la diversidad de cualidades.

La Guerra Eterna

Y continúa esta horrible batalla dentro de mi cabeza, dentro de mí ser. Hoy día se me hace difícil reconocer entre el bien y el mal, Entre el odiar y el querer.

Quien puñeta decide que es correcto o incorrecto en la guerra y en el juego del amor? Y quien carajos dijo que era o iba ser perfecto? Nadie! Asi que por favor!

A quién le importa lo que hago o lo que dejó de hacer? Si la amo o la quiero, quien ospera lo va saber?

Me siento partido en dos entre el jaleo y el discernimiento. Todo me parece injusto. Me siento desequilibrado, confundido y enfermo.

Tu no estas dentro de mí para saber lo que necesito, carezco y sufro. Y mucho menos andarás en mis zapatos para por fin resolverlo.

Déjame solo enfrentar esta guerra eterna que solo mi imaginación se ha inventado. Entre mi conciencia y mi locura ya sabré que hacer y decidir por dado. Mientras tanto amarrasen la lengua y cuidado con comentar u opinar. Aquí nadie es perfecto y todos tenemos derecho a cometer errores sufrir y amar. Solo las personas afectadas directamente en este asunto determinarán… si siguen conmigo en la lucha de esta triste guerra del nunca acabar.

La Santita Aburrida

Mírala bien…parece que ella no rompe ni un plato. Qué será lo que le ven?

Piel trigueña, cabello oscuro, ojitos de monja extraviada y con voz melancólica de 10 victimas… a pues bien!

No la subestimes que ella no es nada de tonta. Al contrario. Ella sabe bien lo q hace. No hay hombre que se resista a esos tipos de encantos.

Válgame Dios, me jodi bien cabrón ahora! Mi error fue creer que ella no me lo levantaría.

Allí está el, bien pendejo a su merced. Todos sus deseos son órdenes pues por ella que él no daría.

Una vez Le reclamé y él me dijo que era una estúpida aburrida. Pero la estúpida soy yo que le creí tremenda mentira. Ha, ha, ha, ha… La santita aburrida!

Retorno

Te conocí en mi juventud y que Dios bendiga tu existencia. Pensé que no habría vida más hermosa sino es con tu presencia.

Te pedí que fueras mía, pero el destino me lo negó. Años después, la vida a tu lado de nuevo me retorno.

En tu encuentro otra vez, derrame mis puros sentimientos. Te confesé todo mi amor y mis más terribles defectos.

Tú los aceptaste porque sabias que no hay ser humano perfecto.

Quede desnudo ante ti y tu ante mi eres un amor perfecto.

Tu calor me llama y tus besos me derriten. Tu olor me inflama y tu sabor me envuelve e hipnotiza.

Eres un regalo de Dios, yo soy hijo del rey y merezco lo mejor. Tú eres mi adorada y siempre serás mi verdadero amor.

Eres enviada del cielo y te amo más de lo que podrías imaginar. Solo dame un poquito más de tiempo para salir de mi querida y dulce esposa

Tu Amor Mi Religion

Me encanta adorarte toda la noche, porque eso es lo que hago cada vez que te hago el amor. Tu piel es mi altar y tu amor es mi religión. Te Amo.

Mi Odisea

Mi odisea tiene contrato con nombre y apellido. Mi odisea me tiene esclava y de ella no salgo nunca. Mi odisea tiene mi corazón encadenada y solo él y su precioso nudo… me tienen presa pues, si algún día me soltara nadie reconocerá de quien quedó luto. Ya firme mi sentenciada con quien tiene mi alma en constante lucha. Olvídense de mí que ya me perdí en este vicioso círculo. Sigue tu camino no mires atrás que no valgo ni la pena. No sé si quiera pero tampoco sé cómo librarme de esta terrible condena.

Los Zapatos De Papa

Enterraron a mi querido viejo, en un elegante y bonito cajón. Pero jamás me imaginé que iban a enterrarlo sin sus zapatos y su bastón. Cuando nos tocó cerrar el ataúd para al final dar el último adiós. Me ofendí al ver lo poco que llevaba puesto y que se iría de este mundo descalzo. Dónde quedaron los zapatos de mi viejo Bolivar? pregunte: Él anduvo por este mundo sin carro trabajando siempre a pie. Llevaba su botella de ron en su bolsillo como siempre. Pero fue trabajador y procuro que nunca nos faltara de comer o de beber leche. Mi viejo no fue un hombre perfecto o isible Y siempre llevaba en su boca algún comentario o cuento increíble. Mi viejo nunca pozo para ser un santo y no es para menos. Pues también a él cuando niño le fallaron. Con dolor se hizo viejo. Nunca lo juzgue aunque a veces me pareció infiel. Pero mi respeto siempre tuvo porque nunca supe el dolor que llevaba dentro de su ser. Póngale zapatos a mi viejo por favor. Y Póngale en la piedra ante su caja su nombre y apellido. Todos tenemos derecho a morir con dignidad. No importa lo que pensaste de él puede ser que te equivocas. Mi viejo Bolivar siempre estuvo presente cuando menos lo pensaba… siempre me dijo te amo hijita mía, adorada. Todos los padres e hijos de este mundo nunca son perfectos. Pero mi padre tuvo derecho a morir con mi respeto.

Bendición Abuela

Esta noche se me hizo entrega de las bufandas de abuela, pues hace poco la perdí.

Llore desconsoladamente. Pues llevaba su perfume cuando el paquete abrí.

Estas las usaba de pañuelo para secar su sudor y lágrimas. Era muy luchadora y muy activa, eras una mujer muy davida.

Abuelita te me fuistes muy temprano y sin aviso te perdí. Muchas veces prometí visitarte pero el trabajo y las obligaciones me impidieron ir.

Gratos recuerdos llevo en mi pecho sobre aquellos días en que me abrazabas.

Tus bellos besos, sabiduría y bendiciones nunca me faltaron.

Que Dios te bendiga abuelita de mi alma. Te lloro y te extraño al salir el sol cada mañana.

Gracias por tus consejos y amor y cuidados llenas de gracia. Mi alma se partió cuando te fuistes aquella mañana.

Bendición abuela hermosa que pronto nos veremos. Y podre sentir tu calor, abrazos, bendiciones y tu voz diciéndome: “Te quiero”. Sé que esta noche como siempre velas por mí y los míos. Te recuerdo con cariño, mi querida abuelita Tina y cuanto te iro. Háblale de mí a Jesús que él también le conste, que sido quien soy a causa de mi temores. Que el igual que tú me perdonen… no he sido la hija o nieta ideal pero llevo un buen corazón y que no lo dude. Bendición abuela una vez más. Te habrás ido de este mundo pero tu recuerdo jamás.

Quise Ser

Quise ser la mejor esposa cuando me case contigo. Y Quise ser la mejor madre que cría a tus hijos… Ser la amante perfecta cuando me tomabas en tus brazos y ser la muerta al enterarme de tu engaño. No quise estar viva, cuando leí tu carta de abandono. Y hubieses preferido no haber nacido para vivir en tu manicomio. Pero quise ver la luz más allá de tus mentiras y vivir con más esmero sonriente hacia la vida. No detuve tu partida y me propuse olvidarte. El contrario de amarrarte, lastimarte y castigarte. Me di cuenta que tu amor nunca fue hecho para mí. Gracia a Dios ahora sigo viva, exitosa y feliz. Pero no fue fácil, no lo niego, y te perdí. Quise decirte y contarte todo aquello dolor que sentí. Mi nuevo amor, con el que ahora estoy, siempre me recuerda: No Vale la pena! No fuistes nada solo basura, solo mierda.

Amame

Abrázame hoy, abrázame mañana. Cuando estoy contenta, cuando estoy enfadada.

Abrázame siempre, acaríciame suave. Que con tus besos se borran mis males.

Hazme el amor con prisa o sin prisa. Que solo con eso me devuelves la risa.

Entiende que soy una página en blanco; esperando un verso o un poema de esperanza.

Tu eres mi luz, mi arco iris, mi cielo no lo derrumbes que sin ti… me muero.

Ingrato Concubino

Ingrato concubino que vienes y vas. Sin importar los sentimientos de nadie, ni el desastre que dejas atrás. No caminas sino corres a la hora de huir. No piensas en nadie, nada te duele. Solo piensas en ti. No recojas nada déjalo todo para que puedas viajar liviano. Total que más me da, me acusaste de ser siempre el malo. Que si te amo? Ya no te amo sino te quiero, pero te olvido. Todos tus recuerdos ahora se pierden. Mira como flotan en el rio. Qué pena la perdida y lastimas me das. Lloraba por ti, pero en verdad ahora ya no siento nada. Ojalá tu algún día puedas ser

verdaderamente feliz. Pero qué va! A quien engañamos, nada es suficiente para ti. Ojalá despiertes de tu sueño y pongas los pies en la tierra. Aportaste no solo dinero sucio, sino infelicidad, mucha basura y más aún dejaste todo hecho Mierda! Ingrato concubino aquel que viene y va… Ya no serás tú, sino mi amante que llega, cuando te vas.

El Amor También Se Muere

En la penumbra de la noche añorando lo perdido, Me aferro al recuerdo, del pasado yo no olvido. De cómo eras tú conmigo y la magia que me inyectabas, Cada vez que me besabas, Cada vez que tú me amabas. Alegría súbita, de mirarte una sonrisa, Un éxtasis primor de amor y de locura. Tú aroma hechizaste que me envuelve y me hipnotiza, necesito saber si tu amor aun palpita. Relámpago de pasiones lunarcito perfecto, Aliento a hechizo y mirada perverso. Estremezco por tus labios; siempre desquiciada por abrazarte. Tu amor se funde en mí, sufro de tanto amarte. Entre mi humilde verso y mi complica pensamiento, Necesito saber si en verdad nuestro amor haya muerto. Porque te Amo y te odio y te odio y te amo, haz cambiado, no es lo mismo y me siento como esclavo. Nuestra cama sedienta de sudor y cubierta de tela araña, Anuncia que se acerca el fin, que no estarás mañana. Pero me niego a perder, No! Yo no me doy por vencida, No pierdo las esperanzas de que tu amor resucita. Porque me amas y me odias y me odias y me amas, Me lo dijiste primero, mi corazón llora y te reclama. Cuando se regala una flor la intensión es muy bello, Pero al otro día amanece amarilla, marchitada y muerto. Acaso fue así nuestro amor y todo este recorrido? Me niego aceptar que todo quede en el olvido. Uno cambia sin querer y sin darnos cuenta uno hiere, Se me hace difícil aceptar que el amor también Muere.

Alas Negras

Yesenia, donde estás? A donde te me has ido? dejaste este mundo acribillando tu destino. En la hondura de tu alma en tu prisión quedaste expuesta donde el enluto de tus sueños dejaste mil corazones envuelta. Se tiñen mis ventanas del alma con tu partida del mundo cruel. Nadie se imaginó que vivías en una pesadilla llena de hiel. Paloma que gravita hacia el portal de mil infiernos. Acaso no hay nada más que decir? Todos nos quejamos en silencio. Hermana se enmudeció cual se enmudeciera el frío viento Me derrumbo en tu batalla, quedo perdido en el tiempo. Pilares de sueños perdidos, tus alas negras rugen en el cielo. Acaso nunca sabrán que en tu lecho de muerte tuviste miedo? Aunque muchos no entenderán tu decisión, tu eclipse de odio. Más nos queda recordar momentos felices y jolgorios. Decisión de amor y de sufrimiento más allá de la razón. El señor te llora; solo el descifrara: enigma o revelación? Pero sabemos cómo realmente eras sabemos de tu buen corazón. Pues, no cabe dudar que en tu lecho de muerte pediste perdón.

Tus alas negras han cambiado y ahora moras con el señor. Estás en paz y tranquilidad pues, hermana mía adorada: él ha escuchado tu perdón.

Por Ti

Por ti lo di todo, ya no me queda nada. Di toda mi vida, es asi. Di todo mi amor y todo mi tiempo, toda mi juventud y energía. Toda mi confianza y ternura toda mi pasión, toda mi locura. Di todo y lo más importante toda mi bendita alegría. Por ti lo di todo, si!, a ti y a los tuyos. Pero… aun no soy digna de ti y me quemas en tu maldito orgullo y asi me dejas sin vida. Una mugre que se pudre! Sin piedad ni misericordia en la tiniebla bajo tus negras nubes. Tengo miedo mi amor, auxilia me por favor si puedes… Pero el sordo se hace mudo y el demonio me chupa entre sus redes. No importo cuantas veces mi amor me ha fallado y yo con buen corazón y confianza como estúpida lo he perdonado. No importo las veces que he tragado orgullo y aguantado toda clase de humillaciones pues para el vale más verse airoso y ganador de toda la razón y de todas situaciones. Esta vez por primera vez me tocó a mí, según él, ser la traicionera. Pero no hay perdón que valga para esta- yo su puta- hijueputa traicionera!

No me conformo

Cuando te conocí vi en tus ojos el resto de mi vida- no me conformé, te tenía que volver a ver… cuando me pediste que fuera tu novia; yo llore de la alegría. No me conforme - quería llorar más penas y alegrías junto contigo. Cuando nos casamos y me empezaste a mentir, no me conforme con tus excusas y disculpas quería convencerme de que podía volver a confiar en ti, quería convencerme de que no me lo merecía. No me conforme con tu palabra y cometí el error de asfixiarte con mis repetidas palabras babosas… Perdóname, no me di cuenta de que te mataba lentamente. Pero no te distes cuenta de que me matabas a mi también.

Al pasar el tiempo hemos tenido miles de momentos buenos y solo decimas de momentos penosos. Al momento parece ser mas de los miles de los buenos que los malos y no me conforme con esos miles de momentos buenos, quise más… me molestaba cuando te olvidabas una fecha especial o si no notabas mi peinado o ropa nueva… tú te cansaste de eso y optaste con la salida fácil de: acabar con las fechas especiales…y no me conforme porque pensé que no me lo merecía.

No supe cuando callar y no me di cuenta que al hablar tanto te iba matando por dentro; mis palabras te acribillaban. Parece que no conforme con eso también quise ser la mujer más cariñosa y detallista que hayas conocido pero eso también eso nos perjudico. Al parecer te empalagué con tanta dulzura. Y entonces quise que tu fueras asi conmigo- quizás no totalmente igual.., pero porque siempre tuve que suplicarte cariño? Porqué siempre tuve que pedirte, algunas palabritas de amor? La contestación: Por qué no me sentía conforme y por qué no me sentía correspondida.

No me conformo y eso sencillamente fue mi problema. Cuando te veo no me conformo—quiero que me mires. Cuando me miras no me conformo quiero que

me hables. Cuando me hablas no me conformo quiero que te dirijas a mí con cariño, cuando me besas no me conformo quiero que me ames… me frustro de nuevo al ver que puedo ser como soy y no te inspiro nada más que dolores de cabeza; con lo complicada que soy.

Tú dices que soy una persona difícil y testaruda. Por poco te crei. Pero ya aprendi.

Un día abrí los ojos y vi un mundo real… Un mundo cruel… Un mundo que no me merezco… y una voz en mi interior me dijo: “ya, mujer… déjalo ir” “Tú no eres deseada ni amada igual y siempre que difieres con él, él te ve como enemiga”… “amar no es obligado.”

No me conformaré con esta vida de estar mendingando migajitas de amor, migajas de cariños y de palabras, migajas de apoyo. Me largué por fin y a tu antojo.

Maldita sea mi “filosofía del apoyo” es que pensé que era parte necesaria para un buen matrimonio. Adiós, porque no me conformo… adiós porque me equivoque de filosofía, adiós porque merezco mejor y aun me queda un poco de dignidad. Adiós porque simplemente “yo no me conformo”

El Ultimo Poema

Llueven lágrimas frías en mi alma, tu amor ha llegado a su última morada. Te amé tanto que el amor se terminó, no hay consuelo, solo dolor en este infierno. Eras lo más que iraba de la vida, y hoy me encuentro apagada y herida. Hubo un tiempo que con solo yo mirarte, me inspirabas canciones, poemas y bellas artes. Pero ahora algo oscuro invade tus ojitos, y me torturas; aquí me tienes sangrando a gritos. Trate y trate de mantenerte a mi lado, pero hay un demonio que te tira al otro lado. En esta vida que has tenido dime cuantos, te han amado incluso adorado y dado tanto? Dime cielo quien daría su vida por ti, te han cuidado y te han querido como yo te hice a ti? Nadie, nadie, nadie será asi! Pero aquí me tienes en la oscuridad escribiendo,

derramando lentamente todos mis sentimientos. Ya no hay tinta en mi corazón para inspirarme ya en ti. Ella se agotó, su inspiración ha llegado a su fin. Dime cuantos poemas te han escrito, cuantas canciones te he cantado y te dedico? Pero nada de eso vale hoy y eso es triste, engancho los guantes y me digo: Basta tonta ya perdiste! Nuestros planes y metas para el futuro, quedaron huérfanos quemados al olvido. Nuestro amor se está muriendo, el mío no quiere morir, te agarra fuerte de la mano mientras agoniza frente a ti. El corazoncito late asustada tan rápidamente. El amor de su vida la odia y le desea la muerte! Me toca a mí escribir de sus andanzas y dolor. Me pide que no olvide escribir todo aquello que sintió. Vida… se acaba la escena de nuestras vidas. Dime cuanto tardara en cicatrizar mi grande herida? Mientras te aseguro que al bajar el telón de este amor loca, moriré con tu nombre apretado en mi boca. Archivando nuestra historia el tema se quema. Te aseguro mi amor este es el último poema.

Sobre la Autora

Janet Rosario mejor conocida como Jeannie. Tiene dos hijos. Bryanlee Manuel (hijo) y Samantha Ashley (hija), Ella es hija amorosa, divertida, hermana y orgullosa madre de sus hijos. Ha ganado una hija nueva llamada Aurora Sophia con su compañero de vida, el Dr. Lenny Tua, quien también es de descendencia puertorriqueño. Janet nació en Chicago, Illinois y fue criada en Camuy, Puerto Rico. Actualmente trabaja como banquera, notaria y masajista certificada. Fue premiada por la ciudad de Orlando como una de las “Mujeres Latina destacada del 2018”. Comenzó a escribir a la edad de 12 años. Es la cuarta hermana de ocho hermosas mujeres. Sus padres son Blanca y Bolívar. Su pasión es la familia y escribir y cantar karaoke. Le encanta ser voluntaria en su comunidad, iglesias locales y organizaciones benéficas. ¿Qué más puedo decir sobre ella? Ella es simplemente adorable e increíble, que disfruten de su poesías sarcásticas.

La Ilustradora

Samantha Ashley Reyes, hija de Janet Rosario. Nació en Bartow, Florida. Criado en Levittown Toabaja, Puerto Rico. Actualmente tiene 24 años, estudió y se graduó de: Diseño gráfico digital con animación por computadora en el Atlantic College en Guaynabo P.R. Autora de: My Dragon Friends, Children’s book publicado en 2016.